Lawful Overdose

by Justine Elvira

  I’m close. I stop and take a deep breath, briefly closing my eyes and preparing myself for what I might see. If he’s with another girl, I won’t be able to take it.

  I open my eyes and move forward. The door's wide open and I’m instantly hit with the smell. I’d recognize that smell anywhere. My mother grew it for God sakes. I look around the room and I don’t see him at first.

  Maybe I imagined it. God, I hope I imagined it.

  But I didn’t. With the second sweep of my eyes I see Jaxon. He’s with Ryan and Jimmy, laughing near the bathroom. I watch in horror as Jaxon pulls out his wallet and hands Jimmy some cash.

  Please, no. No, no, no.

  Jimmy counts the cash and then pulls something out of his pocket. A plastic baggy. I’m wondering what’s in it, but I don’t have to wonder for long. Ryan puts his finger in the bag briefly, pulls it out and licks it. He nods his head to Jimmy, indicating it’s good stuff and I can’t watch anymore. I need to leave.

  I turn around and run straight into Mikey.

  “You okay?”

  “No.”

  “What’s wrong,” he asks and I watch his head lift to look around the room.

  “Please, get me out of here.”

  He doesn’t ask any more questions, he grabs my hand and we walk casually to his car. We get inside and Mikey turns the heat on, warming the vehicle instantly.

  “I’ll drop you off at home-”

  “No! I can’t go home, Mikey. I live with him, remember?”

  “Well, what do you want me to do?”

  I shake my head, realizing I have no place to go. I can’t stay at Piper’s because I don’t have my key with me and she won’t be home tonight.

  “Can I stay with you?”

  “I don’t know if that’s such a good-”

  “Just for tonight, I promise.”

  I can see the reluctance in his eyes, but he eventually agrees. We pull up to his house and he cuts the engine. It’s pitch black on the outside.

  “Where are your roommates?”

  “I assume they’re all at Big E’s party.”

  “Oh.”

  We make our way inside and I immediately go into the kitchen. I'm familiar with where everything is because I used to party here. I grab a bottle of jack and two shot glasses, putting them on the counter and filling them.

  “Tessa, you’re upset, maybe you shouldn’t be drinking.”

  “Tessa? What happened to Trigger?”

  “Okay, Trigger, do you really want to start doing shots?”

  “Yes,” I say firmly, handing him his glass. I pick up mine, tilt my head back, and suck down every last drop. I start to make round two when I hear my phone go off. I know by 'sexy' that it’s a text from Jaxon.

  Piper was right, that sound is annoying.

  I guess I’m a glutton for punishment because I reach for my purse and pull out my phone to read the text.

  Jaxon: Just ran into Piper and she said you’re here. I can’t find you, where are you?

  I roll my eyes and set my phone on the counter.

  It’s none of your damn business where I am, jackass.

  I hand Mikey another shot and this time I decide to toast.

  “To being single… and to not letting any man get away with lying to me ever again.”

  I hear him laugh, “Are you single again, Tessa? I wasn’t aware you could break up with someone without letting him know.”

  “Oh, you can. You can dump someone whatever way you want to. He just got dumped because he’s a lying jackass, who obviously doesn’t give a fuck about me.”

  I take the second shot and pound the glass down on the counter. I look over to Mikey who’s still holding his shot.

  “I don’t feel comfortable drinking to that, so I’m going to drink to rekindled friendships.”

  “Rekindled friendships,” I cheer as he takes the second shot.

  An hour and who knows how many shots later, I’m trashed. Plastered. My eyes can barely focus, I can’t stand up straight, and everything Mikey says to me is funny.

  I’m sitting on the couch in his living room when Mikey comes back in from taking a piss. He’s holding what I think is my cell phone in his hand.

  “You should check this, your phone is blowing up.”

  He hands me my cell phone and I open the screen. I have thirteen texts and six missed phone calls. I read my texts first.

  Jaxon: Did you get my last text?

  Yes I did, you douchebag.

  Jaxon: Where r u?

  Jaxon: Tessa, I’m getting worried.

  Jaxon: Hello?

  Jaxon: I’m going home to see if you’re there. CALL ME WHEN YOU READ THIS!!!

  Jaxon: I’m getting worried, Tess. You’re not at home, call me!

  The next text is from Piper.

  Piper: Jaxon’s acting like a fucking psychopath, can you come find me so I can tell him you’re okay?

  Piper: Tess, call me or text me back so I know where you are.

  Jaxon: I’m worried sick, sunshine. Call me.

  Piper: Okay, this isn’t funny, Tessa. Where are you? I’ve asked around and no one has seen you. I can’t find Mikey either. I’m worried.

  Jaxon: Tessa, baby, call me.

  Jaxon: I’m waiting for you at home; just get here as soon as you can.

  …And the last one.

  Jaxon: Where are you?

  I’m upset that Piper’s worried, so I send her a quick text letting her know I’m okay, I tell her I don’t want Jaxon to know where I am, and I’m safe with Mikey.

  I then send a quick text to Jaxon so he’ll stop texting me.

  Me: It’s over. I can’t believe I ever trusted you. You hurt me and betrayed me. The worst part is that I loved you. I still love you. Stop calling and texting me, I never want to hear from you again. I’ll have someone come by to get my things later this week.

  I read the text before I hit send, surprised at the clarity in it for how drunk I am. I guess anger will do that to you.

  After I hit send I turn my phone off and put it on the coffee table. I grab my beer and chug until there is none left.

  “Slow down, Trigger. I think you’ve had enough.”

  “Since when do you care if I get drunk or not?”

  “I don’t care if you get drunk, I do care if you end up with alcohol poisoning or in the hospital. At the way you’re going, that’s where you’ll end up.”

  I would disagree with him, but I’m having a hard time focusing on his two heads at the moment.

  “I think you might be right,” I slur, leaning back on the couch.

  Mikey puts his beer on the table and sits next to me. He leans his head back to stare at the ceiling and I do the same, thinking it’s a good idea.

  It’s not.

  The white paint does weird things to my vision and I feel nauseous from the feeling. I sit back up and hold my head in my hands.

  “You okay, Trigger?”

  “Yeah, just dizzy.”

  I look up and Mikey is much closer than I thought. My glazed eyes meet his lust filled eyes. I remember those eyes. Those are the eyes he had right before he fucked me.

  He was great in bed, maybe the best I’d ever been with before Jaxon. Jaxon knocked everyone else out of the park. No one worked me the way he did. Who am I kidding; no one ever made love to me before him.

  Fucking Jaxon. I don’t want to even think about him.

  Mikey. That’s the man in front of me. I look him over, realizing that I can have him if I want him. I might be drunk and not thinking rationally, but what Jaxon did hurts. Knowing Jaxon lied to me hurts. I just want to forget and sex has always been an escape for me, a way to forget.

  Before I have enough time to change my mind I lean forward and connect my lips with Mikey’s. They’re warm and the kiss is nice, but I feel nothing. I’m not sure if that’s because my mouth is numb from the amount of alcohol I’ve absorbed, or because Jaxon has ruined kissing for me.

  I swear to
God, if he’s ruined kissing or sex for me, I will kill him.

  The kiss becomes more intense as Mikey’s tongue asks for entrance, or at least I think that’s his tongue. I open for him as our tongues mesh together as one. His hands lower to my tits and he squeezes softly.

  “Fuck, I’ve missed these tits. No one has tits like you, Trigger.”

  I used to be flattered when he would say things like this to me, but now it feels wrong. I feel like I’m doing something wrong.

  I ignore this feeling and lower my hands to his chest, sliding them down his body. When my hands reach his jeans, I lower one to cup him over his jeans. He’s hard and I hear a soft groan come from his mouth. The verbal encouragement has me rubbing him softly, over and over again, until he starts gently thrusting into my palm.

  “You have me so hard I might come in my pants. Let’s go to my room, Trigger.” He moves off me to pull me up and that’s when I come to my senses.

  What the fuck am I doing?

  I just found out about Jaxon. I just texted him that we were over, and I’ve wasted no time letting another man try and get in my pants. Mikey starts to walk me towards his stairs when I stop him.

  “I can’t… I can’t do this.”

  “What do you mean, Trigger?” He moves closer and his lips start to kiss my neck. I push him off of me and stumble backwards.

  “No, I can’t. I’m too drunk and this is wrong.”

  As if my body wants to show me it’s in agreement, I feel the vomit coming up my throat. I run to the bathroom and barely make it to the toilet before I start puking the alcohol out of my system.

  I feel Mikey come up behind me and start rubbing my back. He pulls my hair back while I continue to empty the contents of my stomach. When I’m positive I’ve got nothing left in me, I sit down on the tile floor, raising my hand with the little energy I have, to flush the toilet.

  I hear the faucet run for a few seconds before Mikey sits on the floor next to me, wiping my face with a damp washcloth.

  “Feel a little better?”

  I answer him with a groan and lay my head on his shoulder.

  “Come on, Trigger. I’m putting you to bed.”

  Mikey gets up off the ground and lifts me in his arms, carrying me to his bedroom. I feel him lay me down in the bed and bring the comforter up and over my body. He lays the washcloth gently across my forehead, kisses my cheek and walks over to turn off the light.

  “Night, Trigger,” he says faintly, before shutting the door and leaving me in his dark room, alone.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It’s Over

  I wake up to loud noise coming from somewhere in the house. I roll over in bed, cursing my damn hangover and vowing to never drink again. My temples are throbbing, my throat is parched, and my eyelids physically hurt.

  The noise gets louder and I’m forced to sit up in bed. I look around Mikey’s room, familiarizing myself with my surroundings. When I look over at the nightstand I see my cellphone. I pick it up, realizing Mikey must have brought it in last night for me. It’s still turned off so I reluctantly decide to turn it back on and face the music.

  While I’m waiting for my smartphone to turn on and get a signal, the noise from downstairs starts to become unbearable. My head needs peace and quiet today, not a bunch of college idiots yelling at each other.

  God, don’t they know I’m nursing a motherfucking hangover up here?

  I hear the vibration of my phone, indicating all my texts, calls, and emails are updated. When I pick it up I’m overwhelmed at what I see. I have nineteen-missed text messages, forty missed calls, and six voicemails. I decide for my sanity to skip any and all messages that are from Jaxon. That eliminates all but one text from Piper.

  Piper: I don’t know what’s going on with you, but Jaxon’s a mess. He told me you broke up with him over a text. I didn’t tell him you were with Mikey, but he found out. Someone saw you leave with him. Just be safe and don’t do anything stupid. I’ll stay home all day tomorrow so you can come by. Love you tons, don’t ever forget it.

  I send her a quick text back and let her know I’ll be by later. The noise downstairs escalates and I can’t take it anymore. I storm out of bed and open Mikey’s door, ready to raise hell. It’s then that I hear his voice.

  “Where the fuck is she?”

  “I told you, man, I don’t know. She had me give her a ride back to your place last night and that’s where I left her.”

  “You think I’m stupid? You think I actually believe you don’t know where she is?”

  “I don’t give a fuck what you believe, but you’re going to get the hell off my property.”

  “You think I don’t know?” Jaxon asks. I can hear how tired he is in his voice. “You were just waiting for me to fuck up. I see the way you look at her when I’m at Ryder’s. I know about your history. You’re loving the fact that I don’t know where she is.”

  “You’re wrong, man, I’m not getting any pleasure in my friend being miserable, and you showing up at my door acting like a fucking lunatic.”

  I want to go downstairs and kick Jaxon out myself, but I don’t want my cover blown. It sounds like Jaxon believes that I’m not here. Coming downstairs would just start a whole new battle.

  “You love her, I know it. So why should I believe a word you say.”

  “You’re right, Jaxon, I do love her. I love her and want the best for her, but I’m not in love with her. You are and I suggest you calm yourself down before you end up in jail because of it. If I hear from her, I’ll let you know.”

  It’s silent for a few moments and it’s killing me not knowing what is going on.

  “Thank you,” I think I hear Jaxon say before I hear the front door close and the sound of the deadbolt lock.

  I walk down the stairs and face a very tired looking Mikey.

  “I locked it, just in case that maniac comes back.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, he scared me enough to lock it for myself.”

  I smile at his poor attempt at a joke.

  “I meant thank you for everything. For getting me out of that party, for being a shoulder to lean on, for understanding I was in a delicate place last night and not taking advantage, and for holding my hair back and taking care of me last night. You’re a good friend.”

  “Well, you know, I try,” he says cockily, popping his invisible collar.

  “I should get going. Do you think you can give me a ride to Piper's apartment?”

  He nods his head yes, “Sure, let me go get my keys."

  ***

  “Holy shit, girl. No wonder you got the hell out of there,” Piper chimes from beside me on her sofa. Mikey dropped me off a little while ago and I’ve been filling in the gaps from last night to Piper.

  “Yeah, so it’s officially over with me and him. I’m going to be on ice cream overload for the foreseeable future.”

  She comes and wraps me in a big hug, cooing and telling me how sorry she is.

  “What did he say when you told him? Did he try to come up with some excuse on why he was buying drugs from Jimmy?”

  I shrug my shoulders in response, “I didn’t tell him. I just sent him a text, telling him it was over. I didn’t want to talk about the drug thing.”

  “Tessa…”

  “What?”

  “You have to tell him what you saw. He needs to know that you know he lied. Otherwise you might come out looking like the bad guy in this, when he was the one who was in the wrong.”

  I pull the throw blanket up over me, finding comfort in its soft texture. “I don’t care what people think. I want to try and get through the rest of the year without seeing him.”

  “That’s going to be kind of impossible. You work for his brother.”

  “I’ll quit.”

  “No,” she gasps loudly. “We’ve worked there our entire time in college. You can’t quit. We’ll talk to Ryder to figure something out.”

  My phon
e vibrates on the couch cushion beside me. I turned my phone on vibrate once I realized Jaxon was going to be a serial caller.

  “Is it him again?”

  “Yep. Bastard won’t stop calling. I should tell him I fucked Mikey last night. That’ll get him to stop calling me.”

  “You slept with Mikey?” Piper looks genuinely horrified.

  “No, I didn’t. I just thought I’d tell him I did.”

  “Real mature, Tess.”

  I move to hit her on her arm, “I never claimed to be mature.”

  I don’t know what I would do without Piper. She’s the most loyal friend I’ve ever had. There’s no judgment or pity in her eyes, we just genuinely care about each other.

  Someone starts knocking on the front door to Piper’s apartment and I cringe at the thought it could be Jaxon. It takes me a second to realize no one buzzed to come up. It’s not him.

  I watch Piper move to the front door and press her eye against the peephole. Her body stiffens, but she quickly recovers and shoots me a brief glance before opening the door.

  “Hey.”

  “Where is she, Piper? I just want to talk to her.”

  I dart off the couch and move to the other end of the room so he can’t see me.

  His voice sends shivers down my body, but not the good kind. He sounds tired, his voice is rough. I move to see if I can sneak a peek at them around the corner. I bring my body to the wall, keeping my back against it as I slowly move my head around the corner to see them.

  Piper has the door opened, but she’s blocking Jaxon’s pathway. My eyes move to Jaxon and I freeze. He looks horrible. His hair is a mess, eyes bloodshot, he’s wearing the same clothes from last night and they’re disheveled. This is not the Jaxon I know. This is a desperate Jaxon.