Chasing Yesterday

by Shiralyn J. Lee

  The doctor examined Heather’s physical injuries and found them to be healing well. He had more concerns for her mental health, as she couldn’t remember who she was, or where she was going, or where she had come from. He told her that this was to be expected for patients coming out of comas and that he would monitor her closely.

  When he left the room, the police officer entered and pulled out his notepad from his pocket ready to take notes. “Hi, I’m Officer Peter Daniels. Are you well enough to answer some questions?” he asked her.

  Heather laid motionless on the bed and chose to stare up at the ceiling fanlight. “I think so,” she answered quietly.

  “I’m the one who rescued you from your car, can you remember anything about that.”

  Heather let out a deep breath. “No, I don’t. I can’t remember anything before I woke up in here. I don’t even know who I am.” Tears pooled in her eyes and trickled down the sides of her face. “They had to shave some of my hair off too,” she sobbed.

  “I’m sorry that they had to do that, ma’am, but from what I can gather, there was a lot of blood that had dried in your hair and caused it to matt, so in order for the medical team to assess your injuries, they had to make a quick judgement call. I know how hard it is for a woman to lose her hair in that way, I know how much my sister cherishes hers.”

  “That’s not really helping me,” Heather told him.

  “I apologise. Perhaps I was just trying to lighten the situation in the best way that I know how to.”

  “Can anybody tell me who I am?”

  “We’re working on it, ma’am.”

  “Please help me,” she whimpered.

  “You had a photograph of a blonde-haired woman on your possession and one of a horse. I assume the name of that horse is Summer, as it’s written on the back of the picture. Do any of these photos mean anything to you?” He showed her both photos but she didn’t recognise either one.

  “They must mean something to me but I really don’t know what…”

  •••

  Jessie had been through mental hell over the past week. With no word from Heather, she could only imagine that she was done with her and had left abruptly never to return. Travis had put an APB out in BC but heard nothing back. As far as he was concerned, Heather didn’t want to be found by Jessie.

  It had hit Jessie hard with Heather’s leaving. She hadn’t bargained on getting her heart broken for a second time straight after Kelly. Her angst soon turned into bitter anger, the only way that she knew how to handle a situation like this. The comparison between Heather and Kelly were all too familiar, apart from she didn’t know where Heather was, or who she was with.

  By the fifth week, she had collected all of Heather’s belongings and packed them away in a large case and taken it up into the loft, where she wouldn’t have to look at it any longer. Her sense of loss was completely overwhelming to her.

  Travis had been a good friend to her and visited as often as he possibly could. She had invited him over for dinner one evening, as she felt as though she was climbing the walls still not having heard anything.

  They sat at the table in the kitchen, Jessie had already knocked back two glasses of red wine and Travis had nursed his one beer. “If you’re not working tomorrow you can always stay over and sleep on the couch. That beer must be warm and flat by now,” Jessie told him.

  “I don’t want to impose, Jessie.”

  “Nonsense. You’ve helped me out a lot over the past few weeks. Here, have some more beef pie as well. I’m not going to eat any more of it, I’m too full. I’ve also been thinking about doing something for someone.”

  “Oh, what’s that?”

  “Gus Jackson’s wife. Is she still finding it hard…financially, I mean?”

  “She’s managing to get by but I can’t see people donating to her for forever, so I don’t know what will happen when the kindness runs short.”

  “Well that’s where I could step in. I want to donate some money to her but I don’t want her to know it came from me, is that clear?”

  “So, how did you want to do this?”

  Jessie grabbed him a fresh cold beer out of the fridge and twisted the cap off. She passed it to him and then poured herself another glass of wine. “I take it you’re staying over, then?” she smirked. “I want to give her money, a large amount of money, enough to keep her from falling into poverty. Also, there’s that property of Ray Smith’s that’s up for sale. I want to purchase that and then rent it out to Mary. I’d make sure that the rent was cheap for her. Can you support me on this idea?”

  “I think that’s overly generous of you but if that’s what you want to do, how can I stop you?”

  “I know how it feels to lose someone, Travis, and so do you. It hurts like hell. Maybe my experience isn’t the same sort of loss as yours, or hers but it’s still a loss and I still feel as though I’ve just gone through a mourning stage. But the only difference with mine is that nobody cared enough to come running to my aid. I didn’t see Kennedy and her entourage come knocking on my door to see if I was okay, or if I needed anything. I feel as though I’ve been abandoned by this god forsaken town.”

  “I don’t think it’s like that for them. I think they don’t know how to approach you. This is all new to them as well, Jessie. They don’t see you for years and then when they do, all they see is this hardened exterior of yours. You’ve not made it easy for yourself to make any friends around here. Maybe that would be a good place to start.”

  Jessie sat down in the chair opposite him. “You’re right, I know. I’ve held this town responsible for my parent’s deaths and my sister’s mental state and even my grandpa’s death. Instead of dealing with it, I held it all in. My own selfishness has made me a target. Why couldn’t I see that?”

  “Live your life without regret, Jessie. Before you know it, you’re looking back at the years that have past so quickly and asking yourself what have I gotten out this?”

  •••

  Jessie had put an offer in on Ray Smith’s house and the offer had been accepted by his two sons, who had inherited the house in their father’s will. They had been eager to sell, as they had plans to move abroad as soon as the property had been sold.

  A few weeks after all the legal transactions had taken place, Jessie set about getting the house redecorated through a local contractor. Once all the work had been completed, she then decided it was time to go and make herself acquainted with Mary Jackson.

  It was four o’clock in the afternoon when Jessie knocked on Mary’s door. She could hear the small child screaming its lungs out and the other child singing loudly in her room upstairs.

  Mary answered the door. Her gaunt face gave away how she was not coping. “Miss. Wheeler?” she said confused by her presence. She looked behind her to check on her younger child who was seated in a high-chair screaming and red-faced. “As you can see I have my hands full, is there something that you want?”

  “Can I come in?”

  “I don’t know about that. I don’t think my husband would like it either.”

  “It won’t take long, Mary. And I think you’ll find that it will be to your benefit in the end.”

  Mary stepped aside and let Jessie into her home. Signs that she was struggling financially were everywhere. Laundry drying over the backs of chairs—more of it piled on the counter-top next to the sink, waiting to be washed by hand instead of using the washing machine. The state of Mary’s clothes, her hair, her health and a hungry child screaming for food. Mary called her daughter Carolyn to come downstairs and play with the baby while she listened to what Jessie had to say. “I don’t have any coffee to offer you,” she said, embarrassed that she couldn’t offer her guest anything.

  “That’s okay, Mary. I suppose you’re wondering why I’m here?”

  Mary brushed the palms of her hands down the front of her skirt and then offered Jessie to sit down at the table. “Yes.”

  “I know how things are for you
…”

  “Do you!”

  “Yes. I can see that you’re struggling here.”

  “What would you know about struggling? You have it all. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “Can we put aside how we are connected and move forward?”

  Mary looked over at her two children. Carolyn was pulling faces at the baby and making him laugh. “I’ve got those two to think about. I don’t know how to move forward.” She lowered her head shamefully.

  “That’s where I can help. I’ve bought a property and I’m looking for a tenant. The rent will be cheap.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’d like for you to be my tenant.”

  “Why? Why would you want me, the wife of the man who killed your grandpa, it doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Believe me, Mary, I’ve struggled most of my life searching for answers, impossible answers. But someone close to me has made me see sense. I can offer you a home, one that you can afford.”

  Mary was nervous. She put her finger in her mouth and bit the tip of the nail from it. “It’s not that easy, though. What makes you think that I’ll be any better off renting a house from you, rather than staying put here? I’ll still be in the same boat. I can’t afford to work until little Frankie goes to school. Childcare is so expensive, they charge more than someone like me can earn.”

  “Please think about it, Mary. I’m trying to make things right here.”

  Mary licked her lips nervously—she had not only lost her once beautiful looks but also her self-worth. When she was in high-school she was one of the most popular girls who attended there. Every girl wanted to be just like her and every hot-bloodied boy just wanted to have her but it was Gus Jackson who had won her heart over with his good looks, his charm and his great potential at becoming a hockey player for a major team. They married shortly after they left high-school and at the age of twenty-one, Mary was pregnant with their first child—their life was perfectly on target. Two years into their marriage their plans came to an abrupt halt when Gus was banned from playing for using Performance Enhancing Substances. That was the turning point for them and the cause of Gus spiralling into his drinking binges.

  “If I did do this, what would you be getting out of it?” she asked Jessie.

  “Well, I wouldn’t have an empty house for a start. Just think about it but make sure you say yes and I’ll even throw in the moving company.” Jessie got up from the chair. “Well, I have things to do. I’m glad that I was able to talk with you, Mary.”

  Mary nodded her head and gave a half-smile as she showed Jessie to the front door. As Jessie stepped outside she turned around to say goodbye to Mary and was surprised to Mary holding her hand out to shake. “I’ll do it. I’ll take you up on your offer of the house. This place has brought me nothing but bad luck since the day we moved in, maybe a change is what we need.”

  Jessie let out a thankful sigh. “I’m glad, Mary. Let me know what date you want to move in.”

  •••

  Most of Heather’s bruises had faded—her hair had started to grow where it had been shaved and the gash in her head had healed nicely. Still not knowing who she was and no one having put in a missing person’s alert with the local police office, she had found herself with nowhere to go. That was until Officer Peter Daniels acted with his heart on the matter and found her a place to stay temporarily—his sister’s house, and as the weeks turned into months and Heather still only able to remember things from the day that she woke up in hospital, Peter felt that it was his duty to take care of her, plus the fact that he had a personal invested interest in her. He was a good kind man and one with patience, so he trod carefully wherever Heather was concerned. He had taken her out a few times to a restaurant and to see a movie, as he was her only vice in the way of normality.

  Heather liked Peter, she was able to talk to him freely and honestly, as though he was her best friend, but she knew deep down inside that something was missing from her life. Every day she would look at the two photos in her possession and stare at them hard in hopes that something might suddenly click and jolt her memory. “Who are you to me?” she’d ask.

  Chapter Ten

  Five years and three months had passed. Jessie had had no choice but to move on from Heather’s disappearance act. She had concentrated on the ranch and hired a male ranch-hand and left it to him to hire workers and keep the ranch running smoothly.

  It was July and the Calgary Stampede event was on. Jessie had decided to take a break from everything and invited Travis to go with her. They were seated a few rows up from the front of the arena and discussing their opinions on how the cowboy was performing as he wrestled a steer to the ground. It was a hot cloudless day. Jessie wore her Stetson hat and mirrored sunglasses but as Travis got up to go and fetch them both a beer, she removed her glasses to give them a wipe on her shirt, as her finger print from touching them had left a smudge. She looked up when she heard a small child’s voice in front of her.

  “Momma’s friend, momma’s friend,” the little girl said pointing up at Jessie.

  Jessie looked around to see if the little girl was pointing behind her but with so many people in the arena, the child could have been pointing at any number of people. She carried on wiping her glasses with the bottom of her shirt and chose to ignore the child.

  “Momma, momma, friend,” the girl said again.

  A woman in the front row, wearing a white t-shirt and a dark-brown cowboy hat, placed her arm around the girl and pulled her in close to give her a kiss on her cheek. The girl continued to point at Jessie, so the woman turned around to see who she was pointing at.

  As Jessie put her sunglasses back on she caught site of the woman looking at her. It was as if her breath had just been taken away from her, as immediately she recognised that it was Heather King looking right at her.

  Heather smiled at Jessie. “Summer, please don’t annoy people,” she said to her daughter. “I’m sorry if she’s annoying you,” she said to Jessie not recognising her.

  Travis returned with two plastic cups of cold beers. As he sat down, Jessie removed her sunglasses—her mouth opened but her words were unable to come out.

  “What’s up with you, Jessie,” he chuckled.

  Jessie pointed to the woman in front of them. “It’s…it’s her.”

  “Who?”

  “It’s Heather.”

  Travis glared at the woman’s back. “Are you sure?”

  “It’s her, Travis.”

  The little girl continued to tell her mother that Jessie was her friend and then said, “Pic-pic, momma.”

  Heather turned around again and seeing Jessie without her sunglasses on she realised that there was a familiarity about her.

  Summer pointed to Heather’s purse. “Pic-pic, momma’s friend.”

  Heather opened her purse and unzipped the side pocket and plucked out the photographs of the woman and the horse. She stared at the woman in the photo and then back at Jessie. “Could it be?” she asked herself quietly.

  Jessie trembled with excitement and fear mixed together. “It is her, isn’t it, I’m not wrong here.”

  Travis nodded. “There’s no mistaking that look, Jessie.”

  “Then what the fuck is she doing here, and did that child just call her momma? She’s got a child?”

  Summer released herself from her mother’s hold and climbed up the three rows of steps and headed right for Jessie. Heather jumped up out of her seat and chased after her. She reached for Summer’s hand just as she stood in front of Jessie.

  Heather stared into Jessie’s eyes as if she there was something about this woman. She still had the photo in her hand and Jessie caught sight of it. Seeing that it was her, Heather gulped loudly. “Who are you,” she asked nervously.

  Jessie was surprised by that remark. She looked at the photo in Heather’s hand and saw that it was definitely her in it. Her eyes darted from the photo to Heather and then the little gir
l and back to Heather. “Heather, don’t you recognise me?”

  “Heather?” Heather asked. Still holding Summer’s hand she dropped to her knees. “Do you know me?” she asked Jessie. She held the photo up in front of Jessie’s face and compared their looks. “Is this you in this photo?”

  Jessie looked at the photo properly. She nodded. Tears pooled in her eyes and ran down her cheeks. “What’s going on, Heather? Why did you leave me and not come back?”

  “Heather? My name is Heather? Who are you to me?” Heather asked her. “I need to know who you are.”

  “It’s me, Jessie. Why are you asking me who I am?”

  Heather was trembling hard. “I don’t know who I am. I was in a car accident almost six years ago and I have no memory before that day. I didn’t even know my own name.”

  Jessie looked at Summer. “Is this your daughter?”

  “Yes. Please tell me more about myself. You really are this woman in the photo, aren’t you?” She pulled out the second photo that she had of the horse. “If you really know me, then can you tell me the name of this horse?”

  “That’s Summer. You favoured that horse over all of the others.”

  Heather let out a loud sigh. “I need to know who I am and what you mean to me.”

  Travis was just as emotional as Jessie and Heather were. “You two have a lot of catching up to do. Maybe we should all go somewhere away from the noise?”

  Jessie stood up first. Her nerves had engulfed her and she knew that she was going to throw up. “Please excuse me,” she said and quickly made her way up the steps and out through the main entrance, where she found a street-light-post to lean on and bent over to throw up.

  Travis, Heather and Summer soon followed her out of the main entrance.

  Jessie looked back over her shoulder. “Your name is Heather King and you worked for me for a while. We were…”

  Travis grabbed Jessie’s arm and shook his head. “Not in front of the child, Jessie,” he said. He looked at Heather. “Can I take her to get an ice cream? The truck is just over there.” He pointed to the truck to let Heather know that they wouldn’t be far away.