Holiday Loves
Page 43
“Seriously?”
“No, the weather there was perfect.”
I glanced over at him while he stirred the sauce.
He glanced back at me and said without apology, “I missed you guys.”
I ducked my head. “We missed you too.”
“I missed our friendship, Kaitlin.”
I felt myself blush. “I missed it too.”
Zach also loved going to the movies. At least once a week, he cajoled me into going to the theater with promises of popcorn and treats. Secretly, I loved those outings. We felt like a real couple, going out together, and it made me wish for other things. Things I knew I couldn’t have.
Zach also flirted with me like nobody’s business. Gently teasing me in slightly suggestive ways.
One day, I was on the couch watching television while folding my laundry. He sat down beside me.
“Let me help.”
“That’s okay.”
“Come on,” he reached into the basket and to my mortification, lifted up a pair of plain white cotton panties.
“What have we here?” he twirled them on the tip of his finger and winked at me.
“Give those back,” I lunged for them.
He laughed and lifted his hand higher. “Make me.”
Which resulted in a full-on wrestling match that ended up with him on top of me, his arousal digging into my hip and both of us out of breath, his mouth hovering over mine.
I thought for sure he’d try to kiss me but instead, he lifted himself off me.
We were approaching those dreaded crossroads where I knew we needed to make a decision, but that also required me telling Zach the truth about me and I had no idea how he would react to the news.
* * *
That night, Zach met me in the green room and together we walked out to the staff parking lot.
“You played really well tonight.”
He tossed his bag in the back of his truck. “Thanks. Did you want to go out and get something to eat?”
“We can, but I also have a rib eye steak marinating at home, if you prefer that.” I had started to prepare extra food for Zach because the guy ate more food than anyone I knew. He told me that he was supposed to eat between 6500-7000 calories a day during the season. When he came home from a game, he was ravenous.
His eyes lit up. “You did that for me?”
I blushed. “It’s nothing.”
He got into the truck and looked over at me. “It’s everything.”
It took me 20 minutes to put a meal in front of Zack. I wiped down the counters, feeling happy. I loved feeding Zach. This was my happy place. He finished his meal in record time.
“That was fantastic.”
“Glad you liked it.”
He reached out and snagged my hand. “Come sit down.”
I let him lead me to the couch.
He studied me for a moment. “How was your day?”
“Good.”
“Getting ready to graduate?”
“Yes.”
“I have six days off over Christmas.”
Our eyes met.
I knew that statement was significant. “Are you going to see your parents?”
“I thought as a graduation gift, we could go someplace for a few days.”
My heart started to pound. “What? Are you serious? Where?”
“We could take the red-eye to Hawaii and have five nights there, before coming back.”
“Are you serious?” I repeated.
“If you're interested.”
“I’m interested.”
He held my gaze. “I think about kissing you all the time.”
Here it was. The moment I needed to tell him the truth about me.
“I think about that too.”
He squeezed my hand. “I think about us being more than friends.”
I pulled my hand away. “Oh.”
Fear squeezed my heart and I had trouble breathing. What if he rejected me? What if he told me I wasn’t what he wanted?
“How do you feel about that?”
My voice shook. “I need to tell you something.”
He grabbed my hand again. “You can tell me anything.”
I swallowed, terrified of my dreams slipping away from me. “About two years ago, I had surgery.”
“Okay.” He looked concerned.
“For endometriosis.”
He shook his head, not understanding. “What is that?”
“It’s a condition that can be really painful involving my uterus where excess tissue grows outside of my reproductive organs. My case was especially bad.”
“But you’re okay now?”
I worked to not cry. I had dealt with this loss already. I had already accepted this. “My surgeon said there was too much scar tissue and that I wouldn’t be able to have children.”
Shock rippled across his face.
He squeezed my hand. His voice was gentle. “I’m sorry. I know how much having kids meant to you.”
Tears clogged my throat. “I had a boyfriend when I got the surgery. When he found out that I couldn’t have kids, he dumped me.”
Zach looked stunned. “What a dick.”
“He said it wasn’t my fault, but he didn’t want to be involved with someone damaged.”
“You’re not damaged, Kaitlin.”
“I kind of am.”
Understanding dawned across Zach’s face. “That’s why you backed away from me.”
“It’s not fair to lead anyone on and I need to be clear with anyone before anything happens.”
He frowned. “You think I wouldn’t want to get serious with you because you can’t have kids?”
Misery flooded me. “Yeah.”
“Kaitlin, that doesn’t matter to me.”
My eyes lifted to his as hope filled my body. “What?”
“I want to be with you.”
“But what about kids?” I felt myself flush. “I mean, not that we are serious like that but isn’t that something you want at some point?”
He grabbed me and pulled me against his chest. I sighed and sunk into him. He felt so good. So strong and warm. I wanted to let myself fall for him, but I was terrified that one day he’d decide he did want a family and would leave me to find that with someone else.
“Are you holding yourself back because of this kid thing?”
“Yes.” My voice was muffled against his neck.
“We’re a bit off from talking about having a family,” I could hear the smile in his voice.
I lifted my head, looking into his eyes. “Don’t you want your own children?”
“I’m not convinced I want kids,” his hands rubbed my arms. “But I know I want to be with you.”
“But what if one day you want to have your own kids?”
“I’m the last guy you should worry about wanting kids.”
“I’m scared of falling for you and then not being able to give you something you want.”
“I’d be a lucky man if someone like you fell for me.”
I stared into his eyes. “Okay.”
“Let’s just play this by ear and do what feels natural, okay? There’s no rush. We’ll take this slow.”
I sighed, putting my head back on his chest. “That sounds perfect.”
* * *
I stood behind the shopping cart, watching as Kaitlin studied the label of some jar. Her long hair was in a loose braid that hung down her back and she looked adorable with her skinny jeans and baggy white sweater. Unlike every other woman I have ever known, I just wanted to spend time with her.
My heart ached for her that she couldn’t have kids because I knew that was something she always wanted, but it didn’t bother me in the least. Kids were not even on my radar. I figured if we ever got to the point that she wanted a family, I’d figure out a way to give her one, but right now I was too fascinated with her to even think that far into the future.
I felt like a horny high school kid with the biggest crus
h going. I made excuses to pick her up from her classes. I invited her to every game. I loved looking up from the ice and seeing her face in the crowd. I even bought her a jersey with my name on it. I took her out to the fanciest restaurants I could find. Anything and everything I could think of, that would bring a smile to her face, I used to my advantage.
The only thing we didn’t do was sleep together. I kissed her until she sighed against me. I cuddled her every chance I got. I held her hand. Loved the feeling of the small of her back beneath my hand when we walked but I hadn’t taken anything past first base.
The chemistry between us crackled. I caught her studying me and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Every night that I traveled for out-of-town games, we talked on the phone. Every chance I could, I spent time with her.
What was I waiting for?
I wanted to make sure she was ready. I didn’t want to scare her off. I didn’t want to screw this up.
I wanted it to be special.
I waited for her to give me some sort of sign, something to tell me that she was ready, but part of Kaitlin’s charm was I usually had no idea what she was thinking.
* * *
I was coming home from a series of away games and I felt disappointment when I noticed that the house was dark. I had been hoping to see Kaitlin, but she was already in bed. I took a shower and crawled into bed.
I wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and wake her up with kisses, but I figured that would be too far out of her comfort zone.
I was almost asleep when my door opened. I lifted my head.
Like a vision, Kaitlin walked into my room. The hallway light shone on her silhouette. She looked like a dream with her long hair flowing around her shoulders.
“Kat?”
She didn’t speak, just lifted her white t-shirt off her head and then slowly pushed those white panties down off those gorgeous legs.
My mouth went dry and my dick went rock hard at the sight of her naked body.
“What are you doing?” I stupidly asked when she crawled onto the foot of the bed.
I threw the covers off my body, watching with mouthwatering anticipation as she moved until she was straddling my hips.
“Got tired of waiting.”
“Are you sure?” My voice sounded thick as I stared up at those perfect breasts.
“Are you?”
I threaded my fingers in hers and lifted my head to kiss her. She smelled so good, like strawberries and Kaitlin and I groaned as her tongue tangled with mine. She leaned back, her warm hands on my chest. I groaned again when she ground against my arousal.
I lifted my hands to those perfect breasts before lifting my head so I could suck one pert nipple into my mouth. I rolled it in my mouth and she pushed her fingers in my hair.
“Come and sit on my face,” I begged, my hands on her slender hips.
“I think there is something else I’d rather sit on.”
She pushed me to lie back down. I lifted my head, watching as she yanked my boxer briefs down my hips. I helped out by kicking them off.
I was two seconds away from flipping her over when she lifted her leg to straddle me again.
“You were serious,” I managed to choke out, when her small hand grasped my cock.
“Grab onto the headboard,” she instructed. “I want to do this for you.”
I couldn’t reconcile the shy woman I had started to fall for and this vixen who was about to do wicked things to me. I grabbed the metal railing and groaned when she lifted her hips, lined herself up with my cock and slowly lowered herself onto me.
She felt like everything sex should feel like. Warm, tight, wet.
I’d never had sex without a condom and just the feeling of her warm pussy against my bare cock almost blew my mind.
But when she started to move her hips in the most sensual, most erotic way imaginable, I had to work not to come.
I was spellbound, unable to do anything but watch. The way her breasts jiggled. The flush that grew on her chest. Her lips parted, and the way she bit her lip as she moved her body towards her orgasm.
Her inhibition was such a turn on, I had to count backward in French just to keep myself from exploding.
When she slipped her hand between her legs, to touch herself, I was seconds away from embarrassing myself. I could feel my balls tighten dangerously while my eyes were glued to her face. Soft moans escaped her. Her hips moved faster, sliding herself over me with increasing speed.
“Come for me, Kat,” I begged. “Come for me.”
She arched her back and shuddered. I felt her pussy tighten around my cock as she spasmed with her orgasm.
It tipped me over the edge. I bucked higher into her and felt my balls spasm. I groaned as I shot what felt like a truckload of cum inside of her.
She collapsed against my chest and somehow, I found the strength to wrap my arms around her.
We lay there together, two naked bodies, cuddling in a post-orgasmic state.
“Was that okay?” she asked in a breathless voice.
“That is going in the spank bank until the end of time.”
I felt her slight body shake with laughter.
I flipped her over, so I was on top of her. I held myself up with my arms, looking down at her.
“My turn.”
“Your turn for what?” she teased.
She looked so beautiful, I couldn’t believe my luck.
“Now it’s my turn to seduce you.”
Her mouth parted in anticipation. “What does that involve?”
“Making you come as many times as humanly possible.”
* * *
The next five weeks of our lives were the best I’ve ever lived. Between Christmas approaching, my impending graduation and Zach’s crazy travel schedule, life was busy, but we always found time to be together.
We cooked together, worked out together, but the rest of the time we seemed to have non-stop sex. Zach was an incredible lover. Gifted with an athletic body, he was also patient, had the stamina of a marathon runner and seemed intent of putting all the focus on me.
He was playful in bed, but he was also extremely creative. We basically christened the entire house including the kitchen island, the couch, the shower, and just about every wall in the house.
Now he was out of town for a series of away games and I was standing in the bathroom with a pink stick and a timer.
I was late by six days and it was stupid to even think I was pregnant, but I figured knowing I wasn’t would just put an end to my anxiety. I knew I couldn’t get pregnant, which made this little activity even more ridiculous but here I was.
Ding.
The timer sounded, and I stepped forward to look at the stick. Two pink lines.
I grabbed the back of the box.
Two pink lines indicated pregnancy.
I stood there in complete shock. This wasn’t possible.
This. Was. Not. Possible.
There had to be a mistake. So, I drove to the pharmacy and bought three more tests, all different brands.
An hour later, I stood with all four sticks lined up.
All the sticks indicated that I was pregnant.
Zach.
This meant that Zach was the father. I was ready. More than ready to become a mom. This could be my one shot to be a parent and I was so unbelievably grateful, I couldn’t believe my luck, but what about Zach?
We had only been together as a couple for five weeks. We were barely dating, and he had indicated that kids weren’t even on the radar for him. What would happen when I told him that I was pregnant?
Would he get upset? Be angry? Reject me?
Anxiety flooded my body.
I needed to tell him. But not on the phone.
* * *
“Hey, Gorgeous.”
I pressed the phone to my ear. “Hey. Good game. Where are you?”
“On our way to the airport. We’re taking a red-eye to Chicago.”
“You must b
e tired.”
“Not bad. How about you? What did you do today?”
I thought about my day that was consumed with confirming my pregnancy. “Oh, not much.”
I wanted to tell him so bad.
“Tell me a story.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Are you totally against having kids?” I blurted out.
“What?”
“I’m curious.”
“I’m not against having kids.”
I sagged back against the couch. “Okay.”
“I just don’t want them right now.”
Panic seized me so hard, I couldn’t breathe. “Oh.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
His tone grew more serious. “I’m not ruling kids out, Kaitlin. Not at all. I just think if we go down that route, we have a lot of time. Before we even think about kids, we should take time to travel, focus on getting to know each other and just enjoy ourselves.”
“But not right now?”
“Kids are a different phase of a relationship and life. I mean, we haven’t even been together for two months. I want to enjoy you and take my time before we even think about that.”
I couldn’t speak.
He added. “We have lots of time, Kaitlin.”
No, we didn’t.
“I know.” Tears trembled my voice.
“I’m going to be ready to be a father one day, but not right now.”
I nodded unable to respond.
He gave a half laugh. “You are kind of catching me off guard with these baby questions.”
“Sorry.”
“You’re upset.”
“No.”
“I can hear it in your voice.”
“I should go.”
“Kaitlin,” he sounded urgent.
“Yeah?”
“Do you trust me?”
Did I trust Zach? With my entire heart. “Yeah.”
“We’ll figure this out okay, but this is a face-to-face conversation.”
“I know.”
“I’m going to be home in two days, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Everything is going to be okay.”
I wanted to believe him, but an unplanned, unexpected pregnancy might ruin everything.