When It All Goes Still

by Allison Mullinax

  “Locked away in the tower once again.” I smirk, folding my arms across my chest.

  “My prisoner,” he replies, using that tone of voice that makes my knees weak. He kisses me, letting the sweetness linger before wrapping my hair around his fist and gently pulling my head back to angle my mouth higher toward him. He glides his soft lips across mine. An indulgent “Mmm” escapes from me, and it only prompts him to intensify and deepen the kiss. He pulls away breathless, leaning his forehead against mine. “You’re pure bewitchment. You know that? You’re the supernatural one. Not me.” He pecks my cheek before heading to the door. “Lock it.”

  I walk over to the door and secure the lock, and then throw myself back onto the bed. I’m worried about Traveler running into this Vlad guy again. And I even find myself concerned for the redhead I saw last night in the courtyard when she ran into Traveler.

  ****

  At some point, I must have drifted off to sleep because it isn’t long before Traveler returns to the room with his three light knocks. I can smell the aroma of coffee and bacon as he comes through the door. “Oh, my God, that smells amazing,” I say, saliva pooling in my cheeks.

  He sets the tray down, and I see there are two plates stacked with pancakes, bacon on the side, and a container of warm syrup. “I didn’t know how you like your coffee, so I brought cream and sugar.” He motions for me to join him on the floor as he spreads a flannel blanket.

  “Lots of creamer.” I watch him pour it into my cup before handing it to me. I let the smoky steam envelop my face, then bring it to my mouth, taking a sip. “Mmm. Thank you.” I let the hot coffee glide down my throat. “This is perfect.”

  “Because you’re easy to please.” He plunges a forkful of pancake into his mouth.

  I take a piece of bacon and dip it into the maple syrup as he’s watching me with an amused expression. “What? Try it.”

  “Is there any other way to eat it?” He plunks the crisp bacon into the syrup container and tosses the entire piece into his mouth. I can’t help but laugh.

  We finish our breakfast ravenously, and I help him clean the plates and fold the blanket. I’m draping it over the chair when he comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and leans down to bury his face on my shoulder. He places feathery kisses up my neck, stopping at my ear. “I don’t want you to go.” I turn my body to face him. I don’t know how to respond, because I don’t want to go either. But I can’t stay here. The situation seems hopeless. Closing my eyes, I lean my head against his chest, and as if there is a phantom song swirling in the air around us, we begin swaying back and forth together. We start laughing as he pulls back, still holding my hand, and then twirls me back into his arms, continuing to move with me. He places a kiss on my lips, and we both know we can no longer avoid the inevitable. We stop dancing, and I look at him as he shrugs his shoulders. “Are you ready?”

  “No,” I reply. “But we should go.”

  “I know.” He kisses my forehead and walks me to the door.

  “I saw Arden in the cafeteria already.” His confession stops me in my tracks.

  “You told him? Was he angry?”

  “No…no, I didn’t tell him. I told him I had something important that I needed his help with and to meet me in the Shifting room at ten o’clock.” I glance to the clock and see we only have a few minutes left. “Of course, this is Arden I’m talking about; he knows something is up.” He walks over to the closet and pulls a black jacket out.

  “Traveler, I’m so sorry if this causes a lot of trouble for you. I don’t want that,” I say honestly. The thought of something bad coming from something so beautiful is heartbreaking to me.

  “Arden has had my back for quite some time. He’s always found a way to make my fuck-ups disappear.” He gives a small laugh as he shakes the jacket over his shoulders. “Maybe my luck hasn’t run out just yet.”

  He takes my hand and holds it to his chest before we walk out the door. “We have to be extremely careful, Johanna. If anyone sees you, and can’t place you from around Andromeda, we are in big trouble. Then Arden can’t help either one of us. Stay close to me, baby, and keep your head down.” My heart flutters at the unexpected term of endearment. I lean on my tiptoes and kiss him deeply. Hoping that he can sense how I feel. Hoping he can sense my gratitude for risking so much to get me back home.

  The hallway is empty, and we stand there a moment listening for any sounds echoing through the building. After a minute or two of complete silence, we rush to the elevators where Traveler again leans his ear to the door to listen for any passengers. The coast is clear, so he pushes the button making the elevator doors open for us, and we step inside. He gently pushes me against the wall and holds his strong arm over my waist to keep me as far back from viewing as possible.

  To my left, I notice the metal by my head is dented and crinkled in a perfect mold of Traveler’s fist. I look at him with narrowed eyes. “Is this what you took your frustration out on last night?” I whisper. He returns my question with a kiss and a, “Shhh.”

  The elevator doors open wide to the large common area. Traveler peeks his head out and snaps it quickly back in. “Someone is reading a book on the couch. I can’t tell who,” he frantically whispers. “We have to go. Just keep your head down. Walk quickly.”

  Please, please don’t speak to Traveler. Let us pass. I can see the doors to the outside a few feet away, and I have to fight the urge to take off running toward them. The only thing keeping me in check is Traveler’s hand firmly holding onto mine, a silent reminder not to panic. If they knew him, if they had any questions, they would have called out to him by now. They couldn’t see my face. I could be anyone.

  I breathe in the fresh outdoor air and exhale a sigh of relief as we push through the exit doors and hit the courtyard. Instead of cautiously taking inventory of the scene, he doesn’t hesitate. He places his hand on my lower back. “Go to the set of doors we came from last night.” He gently nudges me to walk. I keep my eyes focused on the doors. There are people all around me walking in different directions, but none of them seem to take notice. No one asks me to stop, no one yells out that I’m an imposter. I hit the double doors to the Shifting Division and turn back to see Traveler only a few steps behind me. He grabs my hand as we enter, and we both breathe out in unison, as if we had been holding our breath together.

  “You didn’t wait back this time?”

  “There were too many people out there. I knew if I could stay a few steps behind you, the attention would be drawn to me and not you. If I happened to run into anyone we should be concerned about, they would have focused on me instead.” His words come out fast as he’s pulling me down the hallway.

  We round the corner, and Traveler pushes through the doors of the room with all the glass chambers and screens. The lights are still off, and it appears we are alone. Whoever Arden is, he isn’t here yet.

  We lean our backs against the wall closest to the door and pull air into our chests. Traveler pulls my hand to his lips and places a light kiss along my fingers. “You did good,” he says through breaths of air as I look back at him.

  Suddenly, the room is flooded with light, and the sound of the door quietly closing draws our attention back to reality. Traveler pushes me behind him, covering me.

  “Arden. It’s you.” Traveler sighs with audible relief.

  “You asked me to come here. Who else would it be? What pickle have you found yourself in now?” Arden’s voice is calm, assertive, nurturing.

  Traveler steps out from in front of me and looks to Arden, a small man with a tiny upturned nose and bead-like eyes. “Well, boss, it looks like we can check Herding off my list of potential talents,” he confesses, and protectively pulls me close, still holding onto my hand for dear life.

  Chapter Eleven

  Traveler

  His face is like a granite statue. Emotionless. Unreadable. Hardened. If Arden is disappointed in me, it isn’t apparent. If he is angered, proud, or
shocked, I don’t know that either. At this point I can’t even tell if he is breathing. Johanna is visibly concerned; her hand is gripping mine tightly, and she has her body pressed against me. I pull her in close to let her know I won’t allow anything happen to her. Her safety is all that matters to me now.

  “This isn’t Traveler’s fault,” she says, breaking the silence. I turn and stare at her wide-eyed as she continues to speak. “Please…I know you don’t know me. But please, don’t be upset with him. Don’t fire him.” She pleads with Arden whose expression matches my shocked one. Of all the things she could be pleading for: to go home, to not be harmed, her life…she chooses to beg for his forgiveness of me. Incredible.

  “Don’t fire him? My dear, you either succeed in our little program, you fail, or you are imprisoned. It appears Traveler matches the criteria for all three of those categories.” He turns his glare back to me. “Care to introduce our guest?” He throws his hand out toward her.

  I clear my throat. “This is Johanna Martin. I brought her here…by accident.” I look at her briefly, letting my shoulders drop. “On my first visit to 2016—”

  “Your first visit? On my account, and by my instruction, there should have been only one.” Arden’s angered tone causes Johanna to squeeze my hand. Her eyes are darting between the two of us.

  “Yes. My first visit didn’t go according to plan. I wasn’t connecting with the subject. I observed his passing, and then whatever I was supposed to be learning or feeling didn’t happen. So, I set out to explore the town, to have something to contribute to my work.” Arden throws his hands in the air in exasperation. “Johanna dropped her wallet, and I wanted to try collecting.”

  “You wanted to try collecting,” he repeats. “Well, that’s what we do here, isn’t it, Traveler? Whatever we want? That has served you well in past assignments?” I have never heard Arden raise his voice, but in this moment, it is slightly elevated. Johanna protectively moves in front of me, and I grab her arm and pull her back beside me, shaking my head at her. He may be angry with my actions, but I do not fear Arden. He is far better to me than I deserve, and whatever punishment he feels the need to enforce, I will accept. Arden cuts his eyes to Johanna.

  “Tell me, Ms. Martin, what all has Traveler divulged to you about our community.” She looks to me, unsure of what she should reveal.

  “Arden, she knows,” I admit. “She deserved an explanation of what happened to her.”

  “And what was that? Do I, too, deserve your explanations?”

  “She saw me shift.” I look away, unable to face the disappointment that covers his face. “I had to go back and find her, return the wallet, lie and make things right. Only…” I turn to her, and she is looking up at me. “Only things got complicated, and I ended up kissing her and losing control. Somehow, I Herded her here. It was an accident.” I snap my eyes back to Arden, hoping he sees the sincerity.

  “And because of your little accident, someone from the past knows everything. Shifting, Herding, The Occurrence? I assume.” Arden is now pacing back and forth in front of us.

  “I won’t say anything,” she says to him with a strong voice that catches Arden’s attention. “What would I say? Hey guys, went to the future, cool place.” Arden only stares back at her. “Even if I could do that to him. Even if I betrayed Traveler in such a way. No one would believe me. They would lock me away in some mental institution. I won’t, and I can’t say anything.” Her shoulders are aligned with Arden, her eyes boring into his.

  “Traveler. Over there. Now.” He points at me, then to an empty space on the other side of the room. I look at Johanna, and she nods her head letting me know she’s fine.

  I follow Arden over to the corner. “What kind of game are you playing with that girl? She’s standing in a room, three hundred and fifty years into her future, seemingly sane, and begging for me to go easy on you. What is this, Traveler?” He looks at me, then across the room to her. Johanna is staring at us, chewing at her bottom lip.

  “I had to make her care for me. I had to make her have feelings for me so that she wouldn’t betray me. So, she wouldn’t betray us. I care about this agency more than anything. I fucked up, Arden. I made a mistake. But Johanna, she isn’t going to talk. I feel sorry for her. I think she is actually falling in love with me. I mean, look at the way she’s clinging to my side. She won’t talk.” A scoff escapes my lips.

  Arden looks across the room at Johanna and then back at me. “How long has she been here?”

  “Since last night. No one has seen her. I kept her in my room. There was a close call with Vlad, but he didn’t see her. There is something we need to handle with Vlad and Sephia as well. But first things first.”

  “First things first? Do you have any fathomable idea the seriousness of this situation?”

  “Yes. And I’m sorry.” I run my hands over my face, guilt washing over me.

  Arden looks up and takes a deep breath. “No, Traveler. You can’t know the gravity your mistakes hold. It isn’t entirely your fault. Your mother possessed the same talents, the same rebellious nature as you. You are truly your mother’s son.” A nostalgic smile plays on his lips. My brow creases, and my mouth tightens as he speaks, and it takes me a moment to recover.

  “My mother?” I jut my chin toward Arden. “I’ve read about my mother. She was a seamstress for the factory. Not a shifter.”

  Arden looks as though he is in a battle with himself. It occurs to me that my mentor, the only person I have trusted in my entire life, has been keeping something from me.

  “Arden?” I say, half in question and half to draw his attention back to me. Back from whatever memory he is conjuring up in his subconscious.

  “Yes, Traveler. That is what you would have read. That is the information the Ancestry Division would have for you, and anyone else who would inquire about an infant boy left at a fostering home. But those of us who had the privilege to know Jaqueline Romanoso, to really know her, remember a story much different than that of a seamstress.” His voice is so quiet, and I have to restrain myself from reaching out and shaking more words out of him.

  “Who is Jaqueline Romanoso? Arden, what the fuck is going on?” I feel the bile from my stomach rise.

  “It seems it is time to reveal your story to you, Traveler. I would have hoped to have more time to prepare you, but you refuse to stay the course. You refuse to be careful. Your abilities are not unique to you, but they are unique to your bloodline. This is why I’ve pushed you. Why you, the most out of all my students in the agency, must practice restraint.” He throws his hands toward Johanna. “No one can know about this, Traveler. Your mother sacrificed too much. She entrusted me with your safety, and I will not let her down. Your life, believe me when I say, depends on it. I know you have questions. And rightfully so. But right now, we have to clean this mess up,” he says to me, and I find my ability to speak has vanished. Arden pats my back. “You’re sure the girl cares for you enough to keep quiet? She believes you care for her?”

  “I suppose you aren’t the only one who can fool someone.” The words taste bitter in my mouth. “How can you have kept this from me? I want to know everything.” I find myself angrier with him than I’ve ever been.

  “I understand your mistrust.” Arden drops his gaze. “Please know it was for your safety.”

  “Everything. You will tell me everything.” The growl coming from my throat startles us both. Arden replies by looking me directly in the eyes and nodding his head. I follow him back to Johanna, and I can tell she senses the tension radiating off me.

  “I believe I understand what has happened here a little more clearly. I understand the urgency to return you to your home, Ms. Martin.” Arden speaks to her in a gentle voice that has the ability to calm the room. Her relief is visible, and she looks to me for confirmation. I manage a small smile, but the weight of the morning is nearly unbearable.

  “Traveler assures me we have your silence?”

  “I would never be
tray him,” she says sincerely and with confidence.

  Arden walks over to my shifting chamber and presses the necessary buttons. “Traveler, turn around,” he commands, entering the codes into my neck, removing my chip and placing it in his coat pocket.

  “Johanna?” He crooks his finger, motioning for her to come.

  “Unfortunately, I cannot allow Traveler to take you home. This task will need to be completed by me.” Both of our eyes widen, staring at Arden in defiance. She takes several paces backward.

  “No,” we both say in unison, eliciting an odd expression from Arden’s face. Remain calm.

  “Then why remove my chip?” I ask.

  “You have some knowledge to gain. Some information you are seeking?” The way Arden covertly speaks of my mother sends a wave of anger to my fingertips.

  “Yes.” Though my voice is even and calm, it is more for Johanna’s benefit.

  He places a key in my hand. “My home office, bottom desk drawer. You’ll find a container hidden in the back, under a stack of old files. I owe this to you, Traveler. Read them. We will speak of it when I return. You can’t go back to 2016.” He leaves no room for questioning. “Johanna, we must go now. We can’t have you being discovered. It puts him and yourself in too much danger. Say goodbye.”

  Arden climbs into the chamber, pushing himself against the glass wall to allow room for her. I grab her wrist, just as I did on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant and pull her to me. I place a quick yet soft kiss on her mouth. Turning her cheek to my lips, and right before I release her to Arden, I whisper so only she can hear, “I will come back for you.” Her wide eyes meet mine, and she discreetly nods her head. I turn my back and hurriedly walk out the door with the key clenched in my fist.

  ****

  Arden’s house is located away from the agency campus. Most of the directors, instructors, and Division employees reside on the streets branching away from the shadows of the buildings and towers where they work. I’ve been to Arden’s house on several occasions; however, he has never once mentioned any knowledge of my mother. No inclination that he ever knew her, or had her secrets kept in his desk drawer. Anger stirs, and I kick a rock lying on the ground and send it soaring down the street.