When It All Goes Still

by Allison Mullinax

  I feel an electric current spark between my mouth and his, and as I pull back, I feel his chest rise, and hear him draw in a breath.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Traveler

  There’s a cavernous hole under my body, uprooting me from my place here on Earth, and it is sucking me downward. The gravity around me is shoving me into the frigid dirt, and I can’t move my hands to claw my way out. My body is so broken I can’t even fight it. The only thing I can do is sink farther into the black. And then somewhere above me, I can hear her voice off in the distance, and though it seems entirely too far away, I can feel the twinge of a magnet attempting to pull me out of the darkness, toward her light. Why is she crying? What is she saying?

  I’m trying to open my mouth to speak to her, to kiss her lips that I feel pressed to mine, but I can’t move. I realize my lungs are about to erupt. Pain ignites around every nerve ending, and while her sweet voice is calling to me, the pain makes me want to die. Suddenly, the dark hole feels like heaven, and I want to go back in.

  Her fingertips are warm against my face, and her body is like a blanket of comfort draped over mine. The vision of the first time her mouth said my name flashes behind my eyelids. And though I welcome death to alleviate the pain, nothing makes me feel more alive than her. I part my lips and pull air into my chest. Her body goes rigid. “Traveler? He’s breathing!” she calls out hysterically. Who is here? Baby, it’s okay. Why can’t I move?

  And then like a tidal wave I see Vlad’s fist, the evil in his eyes and the manic look of his murderous face. I remember everything, the same instant I start to feel everything. He’s coming for her, and I have to protect her. The thought sends my eyes flying open, but everything on my right side is blackened. Nothing is in focus. My body starts to convulse.

  “Traveler, you’re okay. Oh my God. Help him!” She is screaming. Shhh, Johanna. I’m okay. Just breathe.

  And then I remember to do the same, and I fill my lungs with air and force it back out.

  “He’s breathing. Jaqueline, we have to find him help.” Johanna holds my body close to hers.

  “Son, hold on. Fight.” I hear my mother’s demanding voice. I see her standing behind Vlad, I hear the wet smack of something colliding with his skull. She was there. She came for me.

  I try to lift my hand to Johanna’s face, but a hot iron of searing pain radiates across my neck and chest. A low growl sputters from my lips along with something thick and wet. “Just be still, lie still. I’m here. I’m not leaving. We have to get him to the hospital!” she cries out. My mother and I both protest. Jaqueline’s in the form of a stern, “No. We can’t,” and mine is in the form of a weak jerk of my head that results in the ground being flipped underneath me. I’m going to be sick.

  “He will die if we don’t get him help, Jaqueline. Please!” she begs, and it breaks my heart.

  “We can’t take him to the hospital. All the tests, all the questions, they will know something isn’t right.”

  “Then what? Watch him die again?” The anger in her voice rolls out of her mouth and practically slaps Jaqueline across the face.

  “No. I know where I can take him. I know where I can find some help.” I feel her hands on my chest, and I wince at the uncomfortable contact. Everything hurts. “But we need to leave. Now. I’m afraid to shift with him again. Not in this condition.”

  “I am not leaving his side. If he goes, I go.” Johanna is met with silence.

  “I wasn’t suggesting that you stay behind, dear. You quite literally brought him back to life. He needs you. Your particles and his share a supernatural bond. On contact, you transferred life back into him. I wouldn’t let you leave his side at this point, even if you begged me.”

  “I have my Jeep,” Johanna suggests, and I suddenly realize it’s going to require movement on my part to get me there. It feels as though every bone in my body has been split apart. My skin is weeping blood on almost every limb. I don’t see these things as much as I feel them.

  “Traveler, can you hear me?” Jaqueline asks, and I can only manage a small nod of my head. “Good. That’s good. We have to move you, and it’s going to hurt. A lot.” I can hear Johanna crying. “We will try to be as easy as possible.” She lightly taps my hand, and it feels like a hammer slamming down. This is going to suck.

  “Johanna, do you have anything he can take? Anything at all?”

  “I have a first aid kit in the back of the Jeep, hiking supplies, and a few samples from my store.” Johanna sniffles beside me.

  “Okay. We need something to make a sling for his arm. His collarbone is shattered. I don’t want it sliding while we move him.” At her words I remember Vlad’s boot making contact with my chest, and the sound of my bones snapping. My stomach heaves as sticky vomit slides from my mouth and down my face. “Go now, hurry,” Jaqueline commands, and I hear Johanna’s footsteps pounding on the ground.

  “I’m so sorry, Traveler. I came as soon as Arden sent the message. Had I known…” she says as she wipes the corner of my mouth with what I assume is her shirt. “You will be okay; do you hear me?”

  “Keep her safe,” I beg, though it comes out in short pants and wheezes.

  My mother grabs hold of my hand, being careful not to apply too much pressure. “She saved your life, so I will do whatever necessary to keep her alive. You have my word.” Off in the distance, I hear what I hope is Johanna approaching.

  “I’m sorry, Traveler.” My mom lifts my forearm to my chest. I can’t yell out, it takes too much air and effort. I can only lie there in agony as she adjusts my arm in place. I can feel the shattered ends of my bones grinding together. Another round of bloody vomit escapes from my belly and up my throat. Johanna is smoothing my hair and speaking to me calmly. I focus on her voice.

  “I love you, Traveler. You’d better keep breathing. We figure this out together, remember?”

  “We have two options,” Jaqueline begins. “We can carry him, or we can try and get him to stand and he can lean his weight on us, but I’m not sure he can walk.”

  Johanna is crying as she leans into me, close to my ear. “I don’t want this to hurt you. Please just pass out.” I hear her begging, and if I could smile, I would.

  I feel their hands slide underneath me and they pull me upright. There is a sharp stabbing pain somewhere along my lower back. I try not to wince, I try not to puke, and I’m trying to make it to the other side of the woods where I’m not lying in bloody grass. And as they stand me up, what little blood is left in my body rushes to my head. The Earth spins faster on its axis, and I know Johanna is about to get her wish. My vision blackens and night falls around me.

  ****

  I’m awakened by the purr of the Jeep engine. It’s the only sound around me. I slowly crack my eyelids open. It’s night and the interstate lights fly past me out the back window. My head is in Johanna’s lap and her hand is on my chest. She’s looking out the window at the world flying by. I close my eyes, knowing she’s here.

  The Jeep comes to a stop and the rhythmic purr is silenced. I flutter my eyelids and then shut them abruptly at the bright convenience store light blinding my pupils. My head is instantly assaulted with an intense pounding. “Traveler, are you okay?” Johanna shifts my head slightly in her lap as she leans down, causing me to grimace. “I think he needs more meds.”

  “I’ll grab a few things from the store, and then you can go inside and use the restroom. It’s been several hours, so don’t try and say ‘You’re fine’ again. At least drink some water,” Jaqueline commands, and I hear the plastic of a water bottle crinkle in Johanna’s hands.

  Johanna doesn’t respond as I hear the driver’s side door close. She runs her hands gently through my hair and sighs.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper, and she leans down, kissing my temple.

  “Shhh, just try and sleep.”

  “He’s coming.”

  “Vlad can’t find us now. Arden is keeping Jaqueline updated. Your last shift
in the machine was calibrated to the Cherokee National Forest. He doesn’t know where you really were,” Johanna says reassuringly. She needs to know the danger. She needs to be on the lookout. He won’t stop.

  “Not…yet.” I hope she understands my warning.

  “Take these.” Johanna presses two smooth pills to my lips. I open my mouth, and she places them on my tongue, then angles a straw to my mouth. I feel weak and helpless. I try to sit up, but Johanna is quick to ease me back down. “No, lie down,” she pleads.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Georgia coast line. We are almost there. Jaqueline has a house. You’re going to be okay.”

  ****

  I hear the soft swoosh of waves, and there is a salty aroma in the air as the back door of the Jeep opens. “Traveler, we are here,” Jaqueline says. “The doctor will be here any minute. He is a friend who owes me a favor. You fell off a bluff while hiking. You refused hospital treatment. That’s it. Tell me you understand?” I nod my head. “Good, again…this is going to hurt.” She and Johanna lift my head up and pull my feet around. This time I hear my raw voice screaming into the night before the pleasure of fainting takes me down.

  ****

  “Frankly, Jackie, I’m surprised this young man even survived. He’s lucky you found him,” I hear a man’s voice close by.

  “Is he going to be okay?” Johanna anxiously asks.

  “He has fractured facial bones, collarbone, his wrists are broken, he has a concussion, there’s blood in his urine indicative of a severe kidney injury, he’s also got a pretty nasty infection from old suture wounds being reopened on his knees. He’s in rough shape. He needs to be in a hospital,” he insists, but I can tell it isn’t the first time he’s brought it up. There’s surrender to the way he says it, as if he knows it won’t happen. “But I think I have him stabilized. I think he will pull through. He needs surgery on the broken bones. They won’t heal properly without it. But, that can wait.”

  “Ben, you have no idea what this means to me. I am forever in your debt.” My mother’s voice is soft and full of gratitude.

  “Nonsense, Jackie. I was never here.”

  “Of course,” Jaqueline replies, and I can hear the lighthearted tone in her voice. The smile in front of it. He’s a friend, and I feel at ease.

  “Make sure he keeps taking these.” I hear the rattle of a pill bottle. “And clean the wounds along his legs every day and apply the antibiotic ointment. The kidney is what concerns me the most. That or internal bleeding we haven’t seen the effects from. Watch him closely. I’ll be back tomorrow evening to check in on him.” I hear his voice growing distant. Mumbling between him and my mother as they leave the room.

  “Ow,” I say out loud. Johanna’s hand touches mine, and I smile. Or at least I think I’m smiling.

  “What do you need?”

  “You,” I reply.

  “Well, you already have that.” She places a kiss on my lips. “I was so scared.” The tone of her voice forces my eyes open. Everything is still black on the right side of my vision.

  “Me too.” I try to laugh, but it comes out as a cough. “But I’m okay.” I lift my hand, and it feels heavy. I move it closer to my face and see it’s enclosed in a cast that still feels damp.

  “You could have died. You did die. I knew it. I knew something was wrong. I could feel it.” She holds her hand over her chest.

  “It isn’t over, Johanna. He knows your name,” I warn her.

  “I know. He won’t find me. He won’t find us. And if he does, we will be ready,” she says with a hint of determination in her words as she looks off in the distance behind me.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this for you. You can’t go home right now.” I feel so much guilt. I never wanted to take anything from her.

  “I wasn’t planning on it. Gina is taking over the store for a while. I said goodbye to MB and Andrew before I even went to our mountain. They think I’m taking a mental break from all the stress and rumors going around town. I sent MB a text a little while ago, letting her know we were somewhere on a coast together. I’m where I want to be, right here right now with you.”

  “Is he awake?” Jaqueline’s voice carries down the hallway before she enters the room.

  “I’ve been awake. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing in front of the doctor.” My breaths are flowing more freely through my lungs. And whatever he gave me has taken away some of the pain.

  Jaqueline walks over to Johanna and me. “We will stay here while you recover. You should be able to relocate in a few weeks. Vlad saw my face, and with some research, he might figure out who I am and come looking here. In fact, we should bet on it. In his world, shifters require a chamber, so he won’t likely let this go.”

  “Thank you for coming for me,” I reach out to her, instantly regretting it as a ripping sensation ignites around my shoulder.

  “I would do anything for you,” she says with a shocked expression that I didn’t already know so. “Son, when I shifted with your lifeless body in my arms, the last place I expected to manifest was on that bluff in Alabama. I aimed to be in this room hours ago. Even half-dead you overpowered me.”

  “I had to warn her.” I look over at Johanna.

  “It’s unbelievable what you can do. And it’s not even purposeful. Once you recover, we will need to begin training.”

  “Training?” Johanna asks, beside me.

  “Traveler, will never be able to return to Andromeda. Fortunately, I have spent the last three decades creating several lives for myself. Georgia, 2016: I’m Jackie the retired police detective. That favor the good Dr. Ben owed me? Let’s just say I made him believe I could erase a few speeding tickets from his record. Which I did, but maybe not how he thought I could.” Jaqueline shrugs, and I hear Johanna snicker beside me. “In San Francisco, 1950, I’m a former school teacher, and in New York City, 2118, I’m an author. Traveler, with some training we can create whatever life it is you want for yourself. You aren’t trapped. And you aren’t alone. But we need to fine tune your shifting abilities. Test their limits. You need to control it, so that it doesn’t control you.”

  “I see. Why didn’t you tell me any of this was possible before?” I ask. It’s a lot of information to process, and my mind feels too foggy to focus.

  “Because you needed to make the choice. And so did she.” She looks to Johanna, letting the information sink in. “It’s late. This room is yours,” she pauses, “and Johanna’s. You should get some rest. The both of you.” She gives us both a small smile and leaves the room.

  “He won’t find us, Traveler. And your mother can help us find a way to stay hidden.”

  “Us? Baby, your family. Your life?” I’m ready to put up a fight for anything she thinks she’s willing to give up for me.

  “I’ve realized something recently,” she begins. “You are my freedom.” She leans down and kisses my lips. I kiss her back, wanting to pull her close but unable to move. That in itself is motivation to heal.

  “I left that town a long time ago, way before Mom and Dad died. I never intended to stay. When they passed away…I clung to everything that they were a part of. You helped me let go, Traveler. I was holding onto so much loss, afraid to start a life and always hesitant to be happy. I was stuck there. I didn’t know what living was until there was you. I don’t think I can ever go back to what it was before. You helped me live again. To love again. Now let me help you. This is what I want.” She stands and walks over to a suitcase, pulling her shirt over her head while stepping out of her jeans. She releases a clasp from her hair, and I watch as her dark curls tumble down her back. I have an urge to pull her head back and bite her throat.

  Everything still seems blurry and out of focus, and I can tell my right eye is swollen shut. I look around the room, unable to see details at a distance that I could have before. The bed is large, and there appears to be a dresser at the opposite end of the room on the left side. There are windows across from me,
opened to let the ocean breeze flow in. I look back to Johanna, who is undressing. I watch the soft material of a T-shirt slide over her slender body. She walks over to a door on the far left. “I’m going to splash some water on my face. Try and relax.”

  “Start a new life with me,” I say to her, and I watch her turn slowly back to me. I can’t read her face. But she is standing perfectly still. “Be with me.” She makes a move toward the bed, and pulls the sheets back, carefully sliding in beside me. “I love you, Johanna. Let’s start a new life, together.”

  “We can be anyone, anywhere.” She leans her head in my lap, peering up at me.

  “As long as it’s with you.”

  “Yes.” The smile she flashes me is all the healing I need.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Johanna

  I curl my toes into the sand and watch as the waves cascade along Traveler’s strong back muscles. I’m finding it hard to concentrate on talking to Mary-Beth. He leaps over the waves, testing his strength, and then disappears under the water before resurfacing. He looks back to me, and I throw him a thumbs-up. The sun is warming my skin, I lay my head back and close my eyes. The phone is pressed to my ear, and I’m listening to her and Andrew talk about Trey.

  MB: —It was so good to see you guys yesterday. You seem really happy, Jo. And tan. Tan and happy. Beach life suits you.—

  Andrew: —Tell Traveler I want a rematch in pool. He’s hustled me.—

  Me: —Trey has grown so much in just a month. And I am happy. The happiest I’ve ever been. We will be back to visit again soon. Better start practicing now, Andrew.—

  MB: —Bye Jo, love you!—

  Andrew: —Bye sis!—

  Me: —I love you guys, too.—

  Yesterday was the first time that Traveler and I shifted back to Alabama. It was a test that we had been looking forward to, and dreading, for a while now. Jaqueline went a day ahead of us and scouted the area. She went to my store, and walked the woods behind my house, extra vigilant to see if there was anything that might signal another shifter could be in the area looking for us.