Threads of the Heart

by Jeannie Levig

  “What’s the lesson?” Eve asked, intrigued.

  “You both are here to learn to follow your hearts. It shows up for each of you in different forms, but it’s the same lesson, nonetheless.”

  Eve considered Rebecca’s words. She could see it, to some degree. She was trying to move through her fears of leaving the safety of her marriage to follow her heart into an unknown world of relationships that many people judged, and the legal system didn’t recognize. And Dusty, if she was in love with Tess…Wow, Eve hadn’t considered it before now, but if Dusty was in love with Tess, she had to have some fear about the differences between them, not to mention for Dusty to be in love with someone and in a relationship, she’d have to leave the world she knew as well.

  “You see it, don’t you?” Rebecca’s fluid cadence brought Eve out of her realization.

  She met the steady gaze that watched her, the radiant smile. “Yes,” she said, the word barely a whisper.

  “Okay, ladies, I hope the private talk is finished because everyone is heading this way for lunch.” Sammi stopped in front of them, holding three plates with hotdogs on them.

  Rebecca slipped an arm around Eve’s shoulders and squeezed. “We’ll talk more soon, if you’d like.”

  “I’d like that.” Returning fully to the moment, she looked up at Sammi. Eve already felt a connection with her. “If everyone has a lesson to learn, what’s hers?” she asked Rebecca, still gazing at Sammi teasingly.

  Rebecca laughed. “Sammi’s is patience,” she said flatly.

  “Augh, she tells me that all the time. I hate it.”

  “And what else do I tell you about it?” Rebecca asked.

  Sammi looked thoughtful. “That it’ll be worth the wait,” she said, eyeing Rebecca questioningly.

  Eve glanced at Rebecca and thought she saw a slight tilt of her head toward her.

  “All right, everybody out of the way. We have a hungry birthday boy.” Dusty strode up to the table carrying Seth on her shoulders.

  Eve smiled up at her. “You said you’d be right back, and you abandoned me.” She tried to look mournful but knew she failed.

  “I did not abandon you,” Dusty said. “I left you in the very capable hands of Sammi St. John. And she, in turn, passed you over to this beautiful and wise woman.” She stroked Rebecca’s cheek.

  Rebecca feigned a swoon and laughed.

  Eve giggled. “Okay. You have a point. I was definitely well taken care of.”

  As the rest of the group swarmed around the table, Eve began helping some of the children prepare their hotdogs.

  Later, as she said good-bye to new friends, she watched Dusty buckle a sleepy Seth into his car seat.

  He clutched the Game Boy Dusty had given him to his cake-smeared chest and grinned up at her.

  Dusty stood beside Eve, waving at the cars leaving the parking lot. As the last one turned onto the street, Eve leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

  Dusty flinched and drew back. “What was that for?”

  Eve smiled. “Thank you.” She gazed into Dusty’s eyes. “Thank you for bringing me today.” She barely controlled the emotion in her voice.

  Dusty shifted. “Yeah, well, I couldn’t just let you sit at home and be stupid.”

  Eve pondered the statement. “Yes, actually, you could have. But you didn’t.”

  A deep blush crept up Dusty’s neck and into her face. “Just don’t tell Maggie you were with me today.”

  “Maggie? Why not?” Eve couldn’t even imagine why Maggie would object.

  “Because.” Dusty averted her gaze. “She thinks I’d be a bad influence on you.”

  “What? Why? You’re so sweet once you get past all that bravado.”

  Dusty’s flush deepened and she frowned. “I’m not really sweet, Eve. And if you do want to thank me for today, do it by not saying anything to Maggie. Okay? If you wanna talk about it, tell her you knew someone else here. I don’t want her mad at me. Besides, she has enough to worry about right now.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Maggie pressed the button on the remote to the garage door opener as she pulled her ’67 Mercedes convertible into the driveway. With her habitual check of the parking spaces, she determined that Tess and Eve were home and Addison and Dusty weren’t. She sighed. She had picked up a message from Addison on the machine earlier saying that she had, once again, gone into the office on this beautiful Saturday to catch up on some work. Maggie had tried to return the call, but there had been no answer on Addison’s private line at the firm. Sometimes, if she was absorbed, she turned off the ringer.

  In the garage, Maggie leaned into the space behind the seats and retrieved the bag of groceries she had picked up at the market. As she turned, she noticed the extra helmet that usually sat on the workbench beside the empty spot for Dusty’s Harley was gone. She remembered Dusty mentioning having a birthday party to go to this afternoon and wondered if she had taken someone and whose party it was, for that matter. Whoever enjoyed the celebration, though, Maggie celebrated with them in her heart. She had spent the afternoon talking and reading to Pete, an AIDS patient entering into the final stages of the disease. His partner, Ricardo, had gone to see a movie with some friends. She knew the hardest part still lay ahead for the two young men.

  Spending the afternoon with Pete, listening to his stories of his years with Ricardo, had created in Maggie a longing to feel Addison’s arms around her, to taste her lips, breathe in the scent of her skin. She wanted to make love, to feel alive—but Addison was working.

  She brushed the thought aside and headed into the house. As she put away the groceries, she saw Tess sitting outside at the patio table reading, her bare feet propped on another chair. When she finished her task, she stepped out the sliding glass door into the late afternoon sunshine. “Hello,” she said, easing the door shut behind her. “Would you mind if I join you?”

  Baxter sprang up from where he lay beside Tess and raced to Maggie, snatching up his ball on the way.

  Tess looked up and smiled. “Of course not.” She closed her book, holding her place with a finger. “I was wondering where everyone was when I got home. Baxter acted as though he hadn’t seen anybody in days. I had to appease him by playing ball for a while.” She laughed.

  Maggie chuckled and lowered herself into the rattan chair beside Tess’s. “Well, you know how he is. He’ll put on any kind of show to get someone to play with him.” She took the ball and threw it across the yard.

  The dog chased after it.

  “Isn’t Eve home?” Maggie asked. “Her car’s out front.”

  “I haven’t seen her. Maybe she’s in her room.”

  “Was Addison here when you got home?” Maggie hated sounding like she was checking up on her, but in truth, she supposed she was.

  “No. She was still here when I left, though,” Tess said in a light tone, an obvious attempt to ease Maggie’s mind. “She’s still acting strangely?”

  Maggie nodded. “It’s almost like she’s avoidin’ time with me,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “But time with just me. She still comes home and spends the evenin’s with everyone, but only goes upstairs when it’s late enough for sleep. As soon as she wakes up, she’s dressed and out of our bedroom, even if all she does is come downstairs to talk with everyone. It’s the oddest thing. I’d think she might be havin’ an affair, but she isn’t gone enough.” Except for the evening last week when she came home from work late, and on days like today. That suspicious voice in the back of her mind niggled at her.

  “That is strange,” Tess said. “I wish I had something more helpful to offer you for all the times you’ve helped me find answers.”

  Maggie smiled and patted Tess’s hand. “You just listenin’ helps a lot, luv. Addison and I will work it out.” She sounded more confident than she felt. “How was your lunch date with JoAnn?”

  Tess watched Baxter run back across the yard. “It was nice.”

  Maggie waited for her to continue,
but the only sound was the gurgle of the fountain.

  Baxter dropped his ball at Maggie’s feet.

  She threw it again. “That doesn’t sound very good,” she said with a hint of humor.

  Baxter dashed off.

  Tess laughed. “No, it really was nice. I didn’t mean to make it sound like anything was wrong with it. It just felt different.” Her gaze remained fixed on the bougainvillea climbing the back wall.

  “Different from what you had with Alicia?”

  Tess turned to her, then looked away again. “Yes,” she said with a sigh. “But I suppose it would have to be, right? They’re two entirely different women.”

  Maggie offered her a reassuring smile and nodded. “What did the two of you do?”

  Tess set her book on the table and leaned forward, her arms wrapped around herself. “We went to lunch at Barone’s, then saw an indie film JoAnn had heard about.”

  “You can’t go wrong with a meal and a movie for a first date, now can you?” Maggie chose to disregard her own experience from the previous weekend. Tess’s really was a first date.

  Baxter plodded up, made a circle, and flopped down beneath the table.

  Tess smiled. “I don’t know, Maggie. I know I’m ready to start dating, and JoAnn is really very nice. She’s being so patient and understanding with me. We have a lot in common. I like her.”

  “I hear a definite but comin’.”

  “But…” Tess paused. “Shouldn’t I feel excited when I’m with her? Shouldn’t I be unable to wait for her to touch me? Or to not be able to keep from touching her?”

  “That’s one type of relationship, yes. Is that the way it was with Alicia?”

  “Alicia?” Tess leaned back. “Maybe. It’s hard to remember all the way back to the beginning.”

  “What are you comparin’ this to, then?”

  Tess hesitated and bit her lower lip. “I don’t know. Maybe just the romantic myth.”

  “Did the two of you touch at all today?”

  “Yes. We held hands in the movie. And we kissed good-bye. Just a short kiss.”

  “And how was that?”

  “It was nice. Warm. Comfortable.” Tess shrugged. “You know what they say—something I could get used to.” She smiled.

  “I know sometimes relationships start out with fireworks and flames, and sometimes they start with a spark that catches and takes a bit to burn hotter. Maybe this one is the latter.”

  Tess studied her in obvious contemplation. “Maggie,” she said. “There’s something I want to—”

  “Hi, everyone,” Eve called as she stepped from the house. “Am I interrupting?”

  Maggie watched Tess. “Darlin’,” she said to Eve, “could you—”

  “No, it’s okay,” Tess said. “Come on out. We were just talking about our days. How was yours?”

  Maggie’s attention remained on Tess.

  “My day was fabulous.” Eve sat in one of the remaining chairs and rested her elbows on the table.

  Maggie glanced at her.

  Eve’s cheeks glowed a rosy red. Her eyes shone with a light that hadn’t been there before and her smile encompassed her entire being. This was most certainly not someone who had spent the afternoon in her room. Maggie looked back to Tess, concerned that she hadn’t been able to speak about whatever was bothering her. Maybe they could continue their conversation later. “Well, you certainly look happy,” Maggie said to Eve. “What happened?”

  Eve beamed. “I got to see how ridiculous all my fears have been.”

  “Really?” Tess’s eyes sparkled with the reflection of Eve’s enthusiasm as she smiled at her. “How so?”

  “I ended up at a little boy’s birthday party this afternoon, and all the kids there were children of lesbians. I met and talked with all the moms. I spent some time with one woman whose story is very similar to mine in that she was married and had a child before she realized she was gay. I really liked her.” Eve’s smile turned a little shy.

  “Wow.” Tess chuckled. “So much can change in just a few hours. When I left for lunch, you looked pretty down. Now, you’ve abandoned all your fears, made some new friends, and have a possible love interest.”

  “I don’t know about love.” Eve shrugged. “But definitely interest.”

  Tess winked at her. “You go, girl.”

  Maggie watched the playful exchange. Her heart warmed. “So, how did you happen upon this party?” she asked with an inner appreciation for the way life worked.

  Eve glanced at Maggie, then down at her hands. “Um, a woman I work with is the cousin of the one I ended up talking to. The one I like. Sammi.” She looked up again. “The woman I work with knows some of what I’ve been going through, and she thought it might help me to meet her cousin and some of her friends.”

  Maggie listened, remembering how uncomfortable Eve had felt sharing about her situation that first day when she had come to see the room. She wondered how on earth she would have managed to discuss it with a coworker. She smiled, hiding her doubts. “Well, she certainly seems to have been right. Is that Sammi St. John you’re talkin’ about?”

  Eve’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly. “Yes, do you know her?”

  “I’ve met her a few times. She’s in the group that Dusty’s friends Emily and Rebecca are close with. Did you meet them as well?”

  Eve fidgeted in her chair. “Uh-huh. They were very nice, too.” She glanced at Tess. “Rebecca said some interesting things.”

  Tess and Maggie laughed.

  “She always does,” Tess said.

  “So, was Dusty at this party?” Maggie asked. She thought about the missing motorcycle helmet in the garage and began to get the picture. “I know she really likes all the children in that group.”

  Eve hesitated. “Yes. She was there. I didn’t talk to her much, though. She was playing with the kids a lot.”

  “How did you get to the party? Did Sammi pick you up?” Maggie watched as Eve shifted again. She could see the wheels turning. It was like watching a little girl who’s realized her story is about to conflict with itself. Maggie felt a bit guilty enjoying Eve’s dilemma, but she indulged herself a moment longer.

  Tess waited, eyeing Maggie with a knowing smile.

  “Mm-hm,” Eve answered finally. It was all she said.

  “So, you weren’t the one wearin’ Dusty’s extra helmet this afternoon? And she isn’t your friend from work with the cousin?”

  Eve stiffened. “Oh, Maggie, I’m sorry,” she said in a rush. “Yes, Dusty took me to the party, but please, please don’t be mad at her. She was so nice about it all, and I promised I wouldn’t tell you it was her.”

  Maggie and Tess began to laugh.

  “All right,” Maggie said, reaching across the table and squeezing Eve’s hand. “Shhh. I’m not mad at anyone. I was just kiddin’ with you. You’re right. It was very nice of her to take you.”

  Eve released a sigh. “It was wonderful. I haven’t felt that free and relaxed in so long. It was like coming home after being lost in the dark woods all night. I could actually see my boys playing with all those kids and feeling just as at ease as I did.”

  “It’s good that you’ve begun to find your way, luv. We all could’ve told you your fears were nothin’ to be worryin’ about, but you needed to be able to see it for yourself.” As Maggie listened to her own words, she thought of her fears about Addison and what might be going on with her. Did she need to see for herself as well?

  “Oh, I know. I don’t think I would’ve believed anyone if I’d just been told. I was so wrapped up in all my assumptions. I’m so thankful to Dusty for just sticking me on the back of her motorcycle and taking me there. I didn’t even know where we were going. I was so surprised she was taking me anywhere. I didn’t think she liked me until today. She’s always just ignored me or left the room when I came in.”

  Tess shifted her gaze to Maggie. Her expression held mild reproach.

  “Well, that’s most likely my
doin’.” Maggie said, feeling sheepish. “It seems I may owe Dusty an apology.” She turned a soft smile to Tess. “Our little wildling might be growin’ up, and I never even noticed.”

  “What do you mean?” Eve asked.

  “Let’s just say that perhaps I was bein’ a bit over protective of you, and I apparently shortchanged Dusty in the process. I thought I detected an attraction between the two of you when you first arrived, and, well…Dusty…” She looked to Tess for help.

  Tess stared down at her fingers, folding and unfolding the corner of one of the pages in her book.

  “Dusty’s been known to toy with women sometimes,” Maggie continued, “and you seemed too fragile for that. I apologize. I shouldn’t have meddled.”

  “Oh,” Eve said. Her eyes turned thoughtful. “That explains something she said.”

  “What’s that?” Maggie asked.

  “She said you thought she’d be a bad influence on me and you’d be mad at her if you knew she’d taken me there.”

  Maggie’s chest tightened, and a current of shame blew through her like a hot wind. She loved Dusty, and while she didn’t understand her lifestyle, she knew Dusty’s deep down sweetness. Maybe recently she had blamed Dusty for the changes in Addison, but now, in this moment of honesty, she also knew that no one was responsible for Addison’s behavior but Addison. “I’ll need to take care of that, now won’t I?” Maggie said, her throat taut with emotion. “I can’t have Dusty believin’ I think badly of her.”

  Tess smiled.

  “But I wasn’t supposed to tell you all this.”

  Maggie chuckled. “Don’t you be worryin’.” She pressed Eve’s hand beneath her own. “We’ve a way of doin’ things in this house. It’ll all be fine.” Resolved, she settled back in her chair. “It seems you both have potential dates for the Halloween party comin’ up.”

  Both women stared at her blankly.

  “Sammi? JoAnn?” She allowed her incredulity to show in her tone and expression.