by Sherry Lewis
“Bobby?”
“Family.”
“His family has always been here,” Siddah said flatly.
“But Gabe is different now. I don’t know why, exactly. He hasn’t said, and I haven’t asked, but there’s something in his eyes that wasn’t there before.” Helene propped her hands on the edge of the sink. “You want to help your son. I want to help mine.”
“Helene…”
“Just hear me out, Siddah, please. Gabe seems drawn to the two of you. Why else would he offer to sit with Bobby after school?”
“Because you want him to.”
Helene shook her head. “Gabe might think he’s doing it because I asked him to, but Gabe doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do. You’re all of Peter we have left, you know. That’s why Monty and I want so much to be part of your lives, and I’m sure that’s what Gabe is feeling, too.”
There was no reason for Siddah to feel let down by that…and yet the sinking sensation in her stomach almost felt like disappointment. “Even so—”
“He could use a friend, Siddah.”
The idea was certainly tempting, but it could lead to big trouble. “He has friends in Libby. People love him around here.”
“He has acquaintances. He needs a friend.”
And Helene thought she should be that friend? Siddah’s stomach turned over. “I don’t know, Helene.” Siddah quartered another potato and dropped it into a bowl at her side. “Don’t you think that Gabe and I suddenly becoming friends would be a little strange?”
“Strange?” Helene’s raised an eyebrow. “Absolutely not. I think it would be the most natural thing in the world. You share something in common—your love of Peter. No matter what Monty thinks, I know how much Gabe loved his little brother.”
Even if Gabe’s story was true and Monty had kicked him out, that didn’t excuse the years he’d ignored Peter. “He had a strange way of showing it.”
“Siddah, darling, you didn’t know them when they were younger. Until the day he left home, Gabe was always Peter’s champion. Gabe left to protect himself, but it was the only selfish thing he ever did.”
Siddah stopped working. “I don’t question the decision he made when he left. It’s the ten years that came after that cause me trouble.”
“And it’s the choice he made three weeks ago that gives me hope.” Helene sighed heavily and a sad smile flickered across her lips. “Monty can’t seem to find forgiveness, Siddah, but I can. And I hope you can, for all our sakes. The family needs it. I need it. Holding grudges and nursing anger will only cause more hurt, and Bobby is the one who will suffer most.”
“I’m doing my best,” Siddah whispered.
“Good. So will you do one more thing for me?”
“If I can.”
“I want you and Bobby to join us on Monday. We’re inviting a few friends and family over for a barbecue, and it won’t feel right unless you and Bobby are here.”
It would be the first family get-together Monty and Helene had hosted since Peter’s accident, and Siddah knew what a monumental step it was for both of them. The thought of a barbecue without Peter made her throat burn, but maybe Gabe was right. Maybe it was time.
She smiled and touched her mother-in-law’s hand, and she turned a corner she’d been too afraid to face until now. “We’d love to, Helene. It sounds great.”
She meant it. She just didn’t know whether it was the family tie or the chance to spend more time around Gabe that interested her most.
SIDDAH WOKE EARLY on Sunday morning, suddenly desperately aware that her house was a mess. She couldn’t seem to find time to vacuum as often as she wanted, she hadn’t deep-cleaned anything in months, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been caught up on the laundry. But somewhere deep under the panic, there was something that disturbed her even more—the unmistakable tickle of anticipation.
She didn’t want to look at the reason for it, so she dragged herself out of bed, found a light T-shirt, a pair of old jeans so faded they were almost white, and tugged on socks to protect her feet from the early-morning chill. The temperature would soar again in the afternoon, but evenings were always cool in the valley, even in the middle of summer.
While she drank her first cup of coffee, she attacked the week’s accumulation of clutter in the living room and tossed a load of towels into the washer. Over her second cup, she unloaded the dishwasher, scrambled eggs for breakfast, and switched loads of laundry.
With a sinking heart, she surveyed the living room. Yes, the clutter was gone, but the furniture still needed dusting, and the carpet needed more help than the vacuum cleaner could give it. She set Bobby to work on the tangle of PlayStation cords and controllers in front of the TV, then grabbed her furniture polish and a rag from the hall closet.
She bustled from one table to the next, but Bobby moved slower than a coon dog on a summer day. After just a couple of minutes, he stopped working completely and frowned up at her. “Why do I have to put all this stuff away?”
“Because we want the house to look nice when Gabe gets here on Tuesday.”
“Why?”
“So he doesn’t think we’re slobs.” Carefully, Siddah put the glass figurine Peter and Bobby had given her on their last Mother’s Day on a freshly dusted table. “Don’t you want to make a good impression?”
Bobby rolled his eyes and plucked at a game-stick. “Yeah, but I thought we were going to have fun today.”
“And we are,” she said firmly. “But first we need to make sure the house looks respectable. We still need to get our regular weekend chores done, especially if we’re going to the barbecue tomorrow.”
“So we have to mow the lawn?”
Sighing, Siddah shoved a couple of paperbacks into place on the bookshelf. “Yes, we do. Now, will you please get started? It will take less time to do the work than it will to argue with me.”
Bobby actually picked up the game-stick, but that’s as far as he got. Scowling a little, he cocked his head to one side. “How come you don’t like Gabe?”
“What makes you think I don’t like him?”
Bobby shrugged. “Well, it’s kind of easy to tell. You never smile at him or anything.”
Siddah wiped the bookshelf with her cloth and tried to decide how to respond to that. “I don’t know Gabe very well,” she said carefully, “but you and Grandma think he’s pretty special, so he can’t be all bad.” She grinned at Bobby, who suddenly looked little and lost. “Right?”
He hitched one shoulder. “I guess. Do you think he really likes me?”
“Well, who wouldn’t?” Siddah abandoned her dusting and sat on the couch where she could be closer to her son. “You’re a great kid. You’re smart and funny, and handsome as all get-out, if I do say so myself.”
A pleased smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but only for a second. “When Whitney was baby-sitting me, she said freckles are ugly.”
“She said what?”
“Freckles are ugly.”
“She said that to you?”
“Nuh-uh,” Bobby said again. “She said it to somebody on the phone, but I heard her.”
“Well, Whitney was wrong.” Siddah traced one finger along her son’s dear little cheek. “Don’t you remember what I told you? Every one of those is an angel’s kiss. How could an angel’s kiss be ugly?”
“She said I’m gonna grow up to be a dweeb.”
Siddah’s initial disbelief turned into protective maternal anger. “You are certainly not going to be a dweeb when you grow up,” she said, struggling to keep her voice sounding normal for Bobby’s sake. “Whitney didn’t know what she was talking about. There’s not a thing wrong with freckles.”
“You don’t have freckles.”
“I did when I was your age.”
“As many as me?”
“Not quite, but I had a lot. If anybody should have grown up to be a dweeb, it would have been me. I was born in a little-bitty town in the Arkansas hills
, ran around barefoot all the time, had buck teeth and freckles, and my mama had a horrible time trying to get my hair to behave. But I grew up. Grew into myself, I guess you could say, and so will you. You, my handsome little son, are going to be a heartbreaker. I guarantee it.”
Bobby squinted at her through one eye. “Are you sure?”
Unable to resist any longer, she slid onto the floor and pulled him close. “Oh, Bobby, I can absolutely guarantee it. You are going to be a knockout when you get older, and I’m gonna need a big old broom to keep the girls away.”
“Mom!” He struggled against her embrace for a few seconds, then grudgingly held still until she released him, which she did sooner than she wanted to. “I thought you wanted me to put my things away,” he groused.
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, I can’t when you’re doing stuff like that!”
“No, you’re right.” Siddah pushed to her feet and reluctantly returned to her dusting. But she wondered how many other self-doubts were churning around inside her son’s mind, and she couldn’t help but miss the days when he’d willingly snuggled up to her and stayed on her lap when she gave him a hug.
For the first time in years, she let herself acknowledge a tickle of baby hunger. This wasn’t the first time she’d felt it by any means, but she’d learned to ignore it as the months passed and her hopes for more children had slowly died. Month after month, she’d held her breath as her time of the month approached, and month after month she’d grieved when she started her period.
She and Peter had undergone a few tests, most of which had come back with inconclusive results. Peter’s sperm count had seemed healthy, so the problem must have been with her. Maybe having Bobby when she was so young had been too hard on her. For a while, Siddah had hoped they could get help through a fertility clinic, but Peter had convinced her that it would be too expensive.
Now, she knew the truth and anger chased away the longing. The cost of a baby would have been too great for Peter, but he’d borrowed all that money for the mill. Apparently, their priorities hadn’t been as in sync as she’d once thought. And she wondered, just for a moment, whether their marriage would have survived the truth if she’d known about the loans while Peter was still alive.
But like so many other questions, she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to that one.
CHAPTER TEN
THE HOUSE SEEMED to come alive on Labor Day. Relatives began arriving early in the morning—aunts armed with platters full of food, cousins carrying coolers filled with soda and beer, and his two uncles, broad-shouldered and barrel-chested, who claimed chairs in the shade and visited with his father while kids Gabe had never met raced around the yard.
When the noise in the kitchen began to float upstairs to his bedroom, he left his sanctuary and came down the stairs, unbelievably nervous to see them all again. What kind of reception would they give him? Would they be happy to see him, or had they just gathered here today out of morbid curiosity?
Time would tell, he supposed. Might as well find out.
First stop, the kitchen.
He found his mother zipping from fridge to stove to counter to sink, calling instructions to his aunts Jodie and Teresa as she worked. Jodie, a tall woman with streaked blond hair and a warm smile, saw him first. She’d been married to his Uncle Keith as long as Gabe had been alive, and he couldn’t imagine a family get-together without her.
Her mouth fell open when she saw him. Shrieking with delight, she stopped chopping onion, set the knife aside and raced around the table with her arms held wide. “Gabriel Douglas King! I could hardly believe it when Helene called to say you were home.” She managed to gather him into her arms for a hug he was powerless to resist. Not that he wanted to. The welcome filled him with warmth and hope.
After several minutes, Jodie pushed him away and held him at arm’s length. “You look wonderful,” she said as she ran her eyes over him. “Just wonderful.”
Before he could respond, Teresa nudged Jodie out of the way and pulled him into another hug. “Don’t you ever stay away that long again, do you hear me?”
Surprised, humbled, and so grateful he was nearly speechless, Gabe chuckled and grinned down at his diminutive aunt. “Yes ma’am.”
“There’s absolutely no excuse.” Teresa stood about five-three and probably weighed all of a hundred pounds, but she glowered at him as if she thought she could still turn him over her knee. “If I had a nickel for all the sleep we lost worrying about you, I’d never have to worry about money again. What were you thinking?”
The question was asked with such love, Gabe couldn’t be offended. But today wasn’t the day for telling the whole story about why he left, so he merely grinned. “Long story, Aunt Teresa. Let’s talk about something else. How many of those juvenile delinquents out there are your grandkids?”
She grinned, just as he’d known she would. “Five. The other three are Jo and Keith’s.”
“Quality, not quantity,” Jodie called out from the table behind them.
How could he have forgotten the teasing banter that had always taken place between these two? He glanced at his mother, who looked on with a fond smile, and he wondered whether she ever longed for a grandchild of her own, or if Bobby filled that need well enough.
Years ago, when he was young, Gabe had thought he might marry and have a family. That dream had been lost along the way, but the realization that it might never happen, that he might never contribute to the large, noisy brood racing around the yard outside, made him suddenly sad.
With a pat on the shoulder, Jodie nudged him toward the door. “You might as well get out there. Your uncles are waiting to see you.”
Gabe nodded. He had to face them, but it would have been easier to deal with them one at a time. The three King brothers all at once were a little much for any mere mortal.
“Just don’t let them talk nonsense to you when you get out there,” Teresa muttered. “You know how those three are.”
“They’re lots of bluster,” Jodie said over her shoulder. “But they’re harmless.”
“Harmless?” Gabe gave a little laugh. “Are we talking about the same three guys?”
With a roll of her eyes, Jodie turned around, linked arms with him, and steered him relentlessly through the living room toward the porch. “Your Grandpa King was an ornery old thing. Everybody knows that. But the boys grew up all right in spite of everything old Calvin dished out.”
“He wasn’t exactly a cuddly grandpa,” Gabe said with a wry grin.
“Let’s be honest,” Jodie said, her voice low. “He wasn’t cuddly at all. I never did know what caused him to be such a grump, but Monty got the worst of it. I guess that’s because he was the oldest, but Keith and Andrew got their fair share, as well.”
She spoke matter-of-factly, but Gabe was having trouble following what she said. “What do you mean Dad got the worst of it?”
“Oh, you know…” She waved one plump hand in the air between them. “Monty was never quite good enough for his dad. Calvin didn’t think he was dedicated enough to the business, and he rode that boy something fierce. We were all just kids then, but everybody knew how Calvin treated him. Calvin pulled Monty out of school so often to help at the mill Monty almost didn’t graduate.”
Gabe looked out the window. “Are you sure about that?”
“I was there.”
“Why didn’t I ever hear about it?”
“Oh, you know Monty.” Jodie lowered her voice and shut the door to keep their conversation from carrying outside. “Pride is his greatest downfall. He was mortified that he came so close to failing in school. He wouldn’t have graduated at all if his mother hadn’t dragged him down to talk to the principal. She stood her ground with Calvin, got your dad back into school and kept him there, but it was tough on Monty. I don’t think he wanted you boys to know about it.”
Gabe struggled to take everything in. “So why are you telling me now?”
“Because it’s
time. Monty hated the way old Calvin treated him, but he does the same thing with you. I don’t know why. Maybe he doesn’t know any other way to act. Maybe he still resents the fact that he’s had to dedicate his entire life to that damn mill, although nobody forced him. He could have walked away at any time, just like Andrew and Keith did.”
“Andrew and Keith? When did they work at the mill?”
“All the time they were growing up.” Jodie patted the cushion beside her and Gabe sat. “Sounds like there’s a lot you don’t know.”
“I thought they didn’t want to work at the mill.”
“That’s right. They didn’t. But that doesn’t mean old Calvin didn’t put them to work before they were old enough to tell him so. Those boys didn’t have a lick of fun when we were in school. They were too busy working. Not one of ’em ever played sports or joined a club or went anywhere much with the group. Monty went straight to work after high school, just like Calvin wanted him to, but Andy and Keith weren’t having any of it. You’d have thought World War Three had broken out the way things were around here for a while.”
That certainly sounded familiar, but Gabe still felt as if he’d come in on the middle of something. “So my dad didn’t want to work at the mill? Is that what you’re saying?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. He just didn’t have enough gumption to walk away when his dad threatened to kick him out.”
Gabe could only stare at her for a long time. “Old Cal threatened to kick my dad out?” he asked at last. “When?”
“Shortly after he graduated from high school. So Monty didn’t go. And he eventually adjusted all right. People usually do. But he sure wasn’t happy about it at first.” Jodie smiled gently. “I suppose he thought you’d cave in just like he did if he put enough pressure on you. He was furious when you didn’t, but I think he was angrier with himself than with you.”
“You sure could have fooled me.”
“It’s that pride of his. It’s not always a good thing, and the King boys have got way too much of it. Present company included. But all that bluff and bluster is really hiding a deep sense of insecurity that’s plagued your dad his whole life. My advice to you is to learn from his mistakes. Don’t let your pride keep you from making peace with him or you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”