Room for Recovery

by D. J. Jamison

  Wade planned to take a few music classes, but he had no plans to earn a degree. He’d decided to give piano and guitar lessons while writing music on his own that he could submit to songwriting competitions. He still had no desire to perform in public, but his love of music had come back to him while teaching Beau the basics of guitar, and Beau was so happy to have unlocked a bit of Wade’s old self.

  “My mom’s making plans to move in with Ray,” Wade confessed as they cuddled together in the dark interior of his car.

  Beau’s heart stuttered in his chest. “Will you go with her?”

  “No.” Wade’s arms tightened around him. “I’ve just started finding myself again in Ashe. I don’t want to open that can of worms. Besides, I have things to stay for.”

  He cupped Beau’s cheek and kissed his lips gently. “I’m going to live with Trent and Xavier until I figure out more long-term plans. But I want my future to be with you.”

  “I want that too.”

  Wade nudged him to look forward again. Before them, a ball of vivid orange peeked over the horizon. A new day was upon them, and with it, a new sense of hope for the future.

  “We can do this,” Beau whispered, yawning wide.

  “We will do this,” Wade agreed, kissing Beau’s cheek.

  Beau smiled, eyes drawn away from the horizon and to his own beautiful jerk. It turned out Wade’s smile was just as stunning as the sun slowly rising into the sky.

  Epilogue

  Wade lowered his weight on Beau, reveling in the warm, smooth flesh against his.

  “I’ve always loved your skin,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the curve of Beau’s shoulder.

  “Mmm,” Beau said, apparently beyond sweet words. His hands slid over the expanse of Wade’s back, agreeing with the sentiment in action, if not words. He gripped Wade’s ass, squeezing it as he pulled Wade down to meet his hip thrust.

  “Want you,” Wade murmured.

  “Take me,” Beau said. “Hurry,” he added and not out of burning desire to have Wade inside him, but because their time alone was limited. They’d had sex many times since they left high school, but they still didn’t have much privacy. Beau lived with his family, and Wade lived with Trent and Xavier. They had to sneak alone time where they could, but at least they didn’t have to hide their relationship anymore.

  Wade dragged open the drawer of his bedside table and grabbed lube and a condom. He rolled on the latex, slid some lube over it and then pushed Beau’s thighs back.

  He dipped down, swiping a lick over Beau’s most intimate place. Beau squeaked and jumped. That reaction meant another lick was in order. He did it again, drawing a moan from Beau. But when he did it a third time, Beau pulled him up with two handfuls of hair.

  “Now, Wade. There’s no time.”

  Wade yielded, sitting up to press his cockhead against Beau’s hole. “We’re so getting our own place soon,” he growled just before he thrust inside.

  Beau’s answer transformed into a groan of surprise.

  “What was that?” Wade teased.

  Beau started to answer. “I said— mmph.”

  Wade thrust his hips again, angling for Beau’s prostate. He set a fast rhythm, enjoying how much noise he could get out of his boyfriend.

  “Bastard,” Beau gasped when Wade took a breather.

  “Sorry,” he said, grinning unapologetically.

  “You can’t ask me to move in while you’re, you know, moving in!”

  Wade laughed quietly. “Can and did.”

  He swiveled his hips, and Beau sighed. “Do that again.”

  He obliged, before pausing to look down at the guy he’d tried so hard not to love. That was one fight he was happy to have lost. Just looking at Beau made his heart swell in his chest. “So, what do you say? Get an apartment with me?”

  “Money ...”

  “We’ll figure out details when I’m not balls deep, Beau. Just say yes.”

  He pumped his hips, and Beau cried out. “Yes!”

  “Yes?”

  “God, yes,” Beau cried a little too enthusiastically as Wade gripped his cock and stroked. At the same time, there was a knock at the door.

  “Oops,” Trent said on the other side. “I’ll come back later.”

  Beau closed his eyes. “Shit. I thought they were going out tonight?”

  Wade laughed. “Guess not. But I bet you want that apartment now.”

  “Shut up and finish me before I lose my boner,” Beau ordered.

  Wade complied with a wide smile, jerking Beau and watching the expressions on his face as he rode out his climax. Then Wade thrust into that tight, warm body he had the privilege of visiting, and hurtled over the edge into his own pleasure.

  “We can start looking this weekend,” Beau said as soon as Wade pulled out, and he chuckled breathlessly.

  “Knew you’d see things my way.”

  Beau smacked his stomach. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

  Wade rolled on top of him, growling into his neck. “I’m not cute, you’re cute.”

  “No, you’re—”

  “Dinnertime!” Xavier bellowed from the living room, probably too afraid to approach their door after Trent’s experience. They broke into laughter and rolled out of bed. Beau could feel the flush turning his skin pink. This wasn’t going to be awkward at all.

  Once they’d cleaned up and dressed, they made their way to the dining room.

  “Hey, boys,” Trent said, a smirk tugging at his lips. “You’re going to make me feel inadequate. Was that three times in one day?”

  Xavier swatted Trent’s arm as he passed by. “Don’t embarrass them.”

  “Too late,” Beau muttered, ducking his head.

  Wade squeezed his leg under the table. “Actually, we were thinking it might be time for a little more privacy.”

  “Oh guys, I was just teasing,” Trent said. “It’s totally fine. You’re young and in love—”

  “And we’d like to have sex without an audience,” Wade said.

  Xavier choked on his drink of soda, coughing loudly. “We’re not listening on purpose,” he said in a hoarse voice when he’d managed to clear his airway. “We’re not creeping on you.”

  “Oh my God, he didn’t mean that!” Beau said quickly, feeling mortified.

  “This got awkward fast,” Trent said mildly.

  Xavier shot him a glare. “Thanks to you.”

  “Let me start over,” Wade said, before Xavier and Trent could devolve into more arguing. “Beau and I would like to get our own place. I asked him already, and he said yes.” He smirked. “I might have pressed my advantage, though. What about it, Beau? Do you still say yes?”

  Trent muffled a laugh in his hand, and Beau glared at Wade. “After this? How could I possibly say no?”

  Wade grinned and kissed him on the cheek. “So, we’ll go apartment hunting this weekend.”

  “How will we pay, though?” Beau asked.

  “I’ve got enough music students paying me tuition to cover the rent,” Wade said. “And you have that part-time job at the university health clinic.”

  Beau had been excited to luck into a position at the reception desk in the student health clinic. He wasn’t providing health care, but he was in a health care setting, which was better than flipping burgers or serving up coffee.

  “We can help out while you guys are in school, provided you keep your grades up,” Trent added.

  Wade fiddled with his fork. “I’m not really in school, though.”

  Trent scoffed. “You’re taking three classes. It counts. I’d still like you to consider getting a teaching degree. If you ever need a more reliable income, you can teach music class in the school system.”

  Wade frowned, but Beau nudged him. “You’ve already considered it,” he said.

  “I know, but me? In school? I bet the Ashe High teachers are still celebrating the fact I’m gone,” he said.

  Beau snorted a laugh. “At least they won’t have to te
ach you this time?”

  Wade rolled his eyes. “I’ll think about it,” he told Trent. “If I pursue a degree, it’ll only be part time. I’m not giving up the students I have. And we’ll pay the rent unless we have trouble. I don’t want to rely on you guys.”

  Xavier and Trent exchanged a glance, then they each nodded.

  “Don’t hesitate to ask if you need help. I don’t want you working so hard you can’t keep up with school, but I’m proud of you for wanting to stand on your own two feet. Your dad would be proud too, Wade.”

  Wade’s smile slipped. “Can I ask you something, Trent?”

  “What?”

  “How can you still speak of my father so fondly?” he asked, surprising Beau. Usually Wade avoided the topic of his dad. “After what he said about you to me, especially …”

  “About not wanting you to turn out like me?”

  “Yeah.”

  Trent reached out, clasping Xavier’s hand on the tabletop. The action seemed subconscious as he sought out comfort. “I’ve given it a lot of thought. It hurt when I heard what he’d said. But it also didn’t add up to what I knew of my best friend.”

  Beau held his breath, waiting for Trent to go on. Hoping he had some magic answer that would soothe the ache in Wade’s heart.

  “I was a workaholic at the time. I had no boyfriends, much less a partner. I hooked up only casually, and I often expressed to your dad that a family wasn’t for me. I brushed off his questions about settling down because my heart was back here with Xavier. But the things I said … well, maybe I gave him the idea it was because I was gay.”

  “What kinds of things?” Beau asked.

  Trent heaved a sigh. “I don’t even remember. I might have implied I’d never have children, never marry, that a traditional family wasn’t in the cards for me. The point is, your father may have taken that to mean I wouldn’t have children because I was gay. When he said he didn’t want you to be like me, Wade, I believe it was about more than me being gay. I think it was about me being unattached. He may have seen that I was lonely as hell. But he was wrong about one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I had a family. You guys were my family.” Trent’s voice grew rough, and his eyes shone with emotion. “Byron was like a brother to me, and you really are my nephew in my heart. So, I was never as alone as he thought.”

  Wade got up and circled the table. Trent stood, and they hugged tight, exchanging quiet words.

  “I’m sorry I was such a shit all those years,” Wade said.

  “I’m so sorry you had to live with your father’s words on your own for so long,” Trent replied. “I wish I’d known, that I could have helped you somehow.”

  “I’m better now,” Wade said, pulling back.

  “You really are,” Trent said with a smile.

  “I don’t know if you’re right about my dad. I never will.” Trent nodded, obviously understanding that no one could really know what went through Byron Ritter’s head when he said those words to his son. Wade continued in a soft voice. “But I’m going to choose to believe you’re right. My dad loved us, and he loved you, and nothing ever made sense about that conversation. Your theory makes more sense than most, and I can’t keep second-guessing myself for the rest of my life.”

  “No, you can’t,” Trent agreed, placing a hand on Wade’s head and ruffling his hair. “I’m so proud of how far you’ve come, Wade. You had a hell of a battle to get here, but you’ve got a happy future ahead and a good guy by your side.”

  Wade glanced across the table at Beau, love shining in his eyes. “Yeah, I finally believe that.”

  Beau smiled and mouthed the words, “I love you.”

  Wade didn’t have to say the words back. His face said it all.

  — fin —

  Thank you for reading!

  Thank you for reading Room for Recovery. I hope you enjoyed this continuation of the Hearts and Health series. This was a particularly tough book for me to write because of the heavy topics of suicide, homophobia and internalized shame, but I hope it was as cathartic for you as it was for Wade. He came a long way, and in the end, he learned to love himself and Beau.

  I’d be so thankful if you could leave a review; even just a few words help!

  If you haven’t read Trent and Xavier’s love story, I urge you to check out Urgent Care. Next in the series is Surprise Delivery, featuring Dr. Casper Rollins, who appeared briefly in Room for Recovery, and Dr. Eric Holtz, medical director, who’s appeared in multiple books in the series! Keep scrolling for a preview of that romance.

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  Preview: Surprise Delivery

  (An unedited sneak peek at Book 5)

  “I’m pregnant.”

  As a gay man of forty-six years, Dr. Eric Holtz had never expected to open his door to a teenage girl with tears in her eyes and a dire pronouncement on her tongue.

  “Well, that’s … big news.”

  As the black sheep of the family — mostly by way of being a gay man — he also had never expected his sister’s daughter to come to him when she needed help. Of course, he was a doctor. Perhaps she thought he had professional insight to contribute.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she said.

  Uh-oh. Here come the waterworks.

  Olivia surprised him. She blinked her tears back and squared her shoulders. Only her voice, trembling slightly, gave away her emotional turmoil.

  “Mom and Dad are furious. There was talk of sending me off to Aunt Polly’s in New Hampshire like it’s the Fifties and we have to hide my ‘sin.’” She made air quotes for the word sin, her voice bitter. “I don’t want to go, but I don’t know how to stay either, if they won’t let me.”

  He stepped back and opened the door. “Come in. We can talk about your options.”

  “Thanks.”

  “But just so you know, I’m not that kind of doctor.”

  She blinked at him. “What kind?”

  “Uh, the kind that deals with pregnancy,” he said diplomatically.

  It was true. He didn’t practice medicine much at all these days. As the Ashe hospital medical director, he spent his days buried in red tape and supervisory decisions. With the closure of their temporary urgent care clinic, there was more paperwork than ever to be done. Between the opening and closing just one year apart, it seemed as if they’d spent more time on hiring and termination paperwork and other administrative tasks than they had on treating patients.

  Such was the life of an administrator. He still questioned why he’d taken on the insanity of moving into the position seven years ago.

  Eric led Olivia through a tiled foyer and into a great room with vaulted ceilings and a wall of windows that poured in sunlight. The room was decorated in a Southwestern theme, using a lot of greens, browns and reds. A five-foot-wide painting of a desert landscape dotted with cacti graced the wall over the fireplace, and a large brown leather sectional with red throw pillows held down the center of the spacious room.

  The entire home was immaculately decorated, with each piece of décor building on the overall theme of the room, but Eric couldn’t take credit for it. It was all down to Perry. He and Eric had lived together for nearly fifteen years, and in that time Perry’s touch showed in nearly every facet of Eric’s life, but especially in this house that his ex-husband had decorated so lovingly before he’d realized he wanted more from his life than Eric could offer. All the details in the house served to remind Eric that Perry had plenty of time on his hands while Eric worked all hours at the hospital. Was each furniture piece selected while Perry wis
hed Eric was there to choose it with him? Possibly. Eric had come to terms with the fact that he was a workaholic and that his work had cost him the only man he’d loved.

  He also came to the realization somewhere around the second year after Perry left him for another man that if he hadn’t been motivated to spend more time at home, maybe there had been other problems with their relationship. Still, it would have been nice if Perry had left before he screwed a bunch of frogs to find his next Prince Charming.

  “Nice house,” Olivia said.

  “Thank you,” Eric said, because he didn’t care to explain that he had little to do with his nice house other than footing the bill. He barely lived in it. “Have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?”

  Olivia perched on the edge of the chaise lounge end of the sectional. “I’m fine.”

  He took a seat on the other end of the sectional, sensing she might want some space for this talk. A large flat-screen hung over the fireplace, paused on a news channel he’d had playing to add some sound to the place. A political candidate and a lobbyist were frozen mid-shout.

  “I doubt you’re fine, if what you say about your parents is true. They’re not willing to help you with your decision?”

  “Making the decision isn’t the problem. I’ve considered my options, and I want to keep the baby.”

  Eric was surprised. “I’d think your parents would be happy with that decision.”

  Eric’s sister Laura had held firm with the conservative values of their family, staying with the church their family had raised them in even after the pastors there told Eric he would go to hell for being gay. Eric knew not all churches took this hardline approach. He’d heard about more liberal congregations, but he’d lost all faith in organized religion a long time ago. People were welcome to their faiths, but he had no interest in the self-harm his parents’ church had inflicted on him.

  His coming out had gone spectacularly badly. He’d heard some horror stories of parents immediately disowning their children, but frankly, he thought that might be a better option than what his parents had done.