GOODBYE to YESTERDAY

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  “Hello, Luke. This is your uncle Amos out in Middlebury, Indiana. I was talkin’ to your daed the other day, and your name came up. You see, I’m plannin’ to retire from my headstone-engraving business, and I was wondering if you’d be interested in coming out to Indiana as soon as possible to learn how to run the business. I’m sure you’d catch on fast. And if you don’t have enough money to pay for all my tools and equipment right now, you can give me half down, and the rest after you’ve learned the trade and have started making money. In case you’re wondering, I don’t expect you to move to Indiana. Just thought you could come here to learn the trade; then when you return home and the tools and supplies have been sent, you can open your own business there. There’s another fellow in my area doin’ this kind of work right now, so it’s a good time for me to sell out, and I’d like it to be to a family member. Give me a call soon and let me know if you’re coming.”

  Luke dropped into the folding chair inside the phone shack and listened to the message again. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t hearing things. Uncle Amos had been engraving names on headstones for a good many years and was now ready to pass the trade along to a family member. Since he had no sons to take over his trade, this was a golden opportunity for Luke. Perfect timing, one might say.

  “Thank You, Lord. This is surely an answer to our prayers,” Luke said aloud. He knew of only one other Amish man engraving headstones in eastern Pennsylvania, but he lived clear up in Dauphin County, so Luke was sure he’d get plenty of business right here in Lancaster County, and it would be a benefit to the community.

  Luke was tired of being pulled lower and lower into a valley of unanswered questions, and he wanted more than anything to stand up straight, feeling safe and secure about their future. Uncle Amos’s offer was a chance for a new start, and he couldn’t let it slip through his fingers. The only problem now was that Luke didn’t know how he could justify to Meredith drawing money out of their savings to pay his uncle half the amount he would need to purchase the equipment. He’d just told her they couldn’t afford to buy paint for the spare bedroom. How would she take the news that he wanted to withdraw money from their dwindling bank account to learn a new trade he wasn’t even sure he’d be any good at? Not only that, but would Meredith be okay with him being gone for a few weeks until he learned this new skill?

  CHAPTER 2

  Guess what, Merrie? I have some really good news!” Luke shouted, bursting into the kitchen with an upbeat grin.

  Meredith turned from the sink, where she stood drying the dishes. The look of enthusiasm on her husband’s face made him seem like a different person than the one who had abruptly walked out the door a short time ago. “What’s the good news?” she asked. Luke even seemed to be standing a little taller.

  “I just came from the phone shack, and there was a message from my uncle Amos. He’s decided to sell his headstone-engraving business, and he wants me to buy it!” Luke’s grin stretched across his face, and his turquoise eyes twinkled like they used to before he’d lost his job. “This is the answer we’ve been looking for, Merrie. Jah, it’s an answer to our prayers!”

  Meredith stood with her mouth gaping open.

  “Well, what do you think? You look kind of stunned,” Luke said, moving toward her. “Aren’t you excited? Don’t you think this is the break we’ve been hoping for?”

  She drew in a couple of deep breaths, hating to throw cold water on his plans. “I am a bit bewildered, Luke. I’m sure your uncle means well, but doesn’t he realize you don’t know anything about engraving names on headstones? And we can’t afford to buy his business, Luke. We don’t have a lot left in savings.”

  “Don’t worry, Merrie. At first I was shocked, too, and I had the same questions running through my mind that you have right now. But Uncle Amos is gonna teach me all that I need to know, and he said I can give him just half of the money for his equipment now and pay the rest after I get the business going. Once I’m on my feet and start bringing in an income, we should be able to pay him in no time a’tall. Uncle Amos’s business has always done well, so I’m sure it’ll bring in a steady income.” Luke stopped talking long enough to draw in a quick breath. “It may sound kind of morbid to say this, but sad as it is, people are always dying, so this type of business isn’t likely to fail.”

  Meredith grimaced. “You’re right, that does sound morbid, and just so you know—I’m not in favor of this.”

  “Why not, for goodness’ sake? I need a job, and the way things are now, we could use up all our money just trying to stay afloat.” Luke’s expression turned serious. “It’s hard to face failure, Meredith, and I don’t want that for us. Can’t you see that I need this opportunity for a new start right now?”

  “I understand all of that, but I like living near our folks, and if we had to move to Indiana I know we’d both really miss them.” She clasped his arm. “Luke, this is our home.”

  He shook his head. “We won’t have to leave. I’ll be buying Uncle Amos’s equipment and starting my own business right here.”

  “But you’re a woodworker. I would think you’d want to find a job doing what you do best and what you love to do. Could you really be happy doing something other than woodworking?”

  “Well, I—”

  “It’ll be hard to learn a new trade, and how are you going to? Is Amos going to come here to teach you?”

  Luke shook his head. “He wants me to come there.”

  “When?”

  “As soon as possible, and I thought I’d see about getting a bus ticket right away. I shouldn’t be gone more than a few weeks, and I’d really like your blessing on this new venture.” He gave Meredith a hug. “I need to do this for us—for our future. I can’t go on like this anymore, wondering and worrying about if and when our money will run out and where the next dollar’s gonna come from.”

  “But it’s January—the middle of winter, Luke. The roads between here and Indiana are probably bad, and I doubt you could find a driver who’d be willing to take you there right now.”

  Luke clasped her shoulder. “Aren’t you listening to me, Meredith? I don’t plan to hire a driver. I’ll make the trip by bus. After Uncle Amos teaches me all that I need to know, I can figure out the best way to get the equipment I’ll be buying sent back to Pennsylvania.” He leaned down and nuzzled her ear. “Come on, what do you think? Are we in agreement about this? I feel like God is handing me this chance, and I can’t let it go by without at least trying. Surely you understand that, don’t you?”

  Meredith hesitated. Then she gave a slow nod. “All right, Luke, if that’s what you think is best.” Although I’m really not sure it’s the right decision for us, she silently added.

  He kissed her cheek. “I’m going back out to the phone shack and give Uncle Amos a call so he’ll know what we’ve decided. After that, I’m gonna call Mom and Dad, and give them the good news. Do you want me to call your folks, too?”

  “No, that’s okay. I’ll let them know later today.”

  “I’ll bet everyone from both our families will be as happy about this as we are.” Luke kissed Meredith’s other cheek. “There’s no need to worry now. It’ll all work out, you’ll see. Oh, and Merrie, there’s one more thing.”

  “What’s that?” she questioned.

  “I know I’ve been kinda hard to live with lately, and …” He paused and reached for her hand. “Es dutt mir leed.”

  Tears pooled in her eyes. “I’ve been difficult at times, too, and I’m also sorry.”

  Luke gave her a tender hug. “Okay, I’m goin’ out to the phone shack now.”

  Meredith couldn’t help but smile as she watched her husband hurry out the back door. He had a real spring to his step, and he definitely stood taller, with no hint of a slouch. So quickly his once-defeated expression had turned to one of hope. Despite her misgivings, Meredith truly wanted to have faith that this trip to Indiana would be the answer to their prayers.

  “I’m gonna hitch
Socks to the buggy, and then I thought I’d go over to see Seth and tell him about Uncle Amos’s offer,” Luke informed Meredith when he returned to the kitchen after leaving a message for his parents. She was sitting at the table with her Bible open, deep in concentration, with her head bowed slightly and a wisp of strawberry-blond hair sticking out the back of her stiff white head covering. “Would you like to go along?” he asked, placing his hand on her shoulder. “You can visit with Dorine.”

  Meredith looked indecisive but then nodded. “It has been awhile since I spent any time with her.”

  “Since your folks’ house isn’t far from the Yoders’, maybe we can drop by there after we’re done visiting with Seth and Dorine,” Luke suggested.

  “That’s a good idea. I haven’t called them yet, so we can tell them in person about your uncle’s message.”

  Luke smacked his hands. “All right, then! I’ll put Fritz in his kennel and get my faithful gaul hitched to the buggy so we can be on our way.”

  “This is a nice surprise,” Seth said when Luke entered his barn and found him dragging a bale of hay across the floor toward the horses’ stalls. “What brings you by here today?”

  Luke smiled and moved closer to Seth. “I got some good news this morning and wanted to share it with my best friend.”

  Seth beamed. “What is it? Did you find another woodworking job?”

  “Actually, I think I have found a job, but it’s got nothin’ to do with wood. I’m gonna be engraving headstones.”

  Seth’s bushy brown eyebrows lifted high on his forehead. “Huh?”

  Luke quickly explained about his uncle’s phone message and said he’d be going to Indiana as soon possible.

  “Now that is surprising news!” Seth thumped Luke’s shoulder and grinned. “Seems like our prayers have been answered.”

  Luke nodded. “That’s how I see it, but I’m not sure Meredith agrees.”

  “How come?”

  “She’s concerned about us drawing more money out of our savings, and she’s also worried about me traveling in the dead of winter.”

  Seth leaned against the gate on his horse’s stall and raked his fingers through the ends of his chestnut-colored beard. “Guess most women would be worried about that. I know for sure that my fraa would be.” He chuckled. “Ich memm zu hatz alles as me; fraa saagt.”

  “I take to heart all that my wife says, too,” Luke said, “but sometimes she’s wrong about things. I’m sure Meredith will be fine with this once I’m back from Indiana and have begun making some money in my new trade,” he added, feeling more confident by the minute.

  “Jah, that’s right, and I’ll bet you will succeed if you just go for it.” Seth clasped Luke’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Sometimes you have to give up things you thought you wanted before you reap the rewards of the things you least expected.”

  “It’s nice to see you. Now, sit yourself down, and we’ll have a cup of tea,” Dorine said when Meredith entered her warm, cozy kitchen.

  “Danki. I think that’s just what I need on this chilly morning.” Meredith removed her dark woolen shawl and hung it over the back of a chair. “Oh, it feels so good in here,” she said, rubbing her hands together after a chill shivered through her body.

  “Can you stay awhile? It’s been some time since we’ve had a good visit.” Dorine’s pale blue eyes twinkled as she motioned for Meredith to sit down. “The little ones are taking their morning naps, so we can have some uninterrupted time together.”

  “Luke’s out in the barn, talking with Seth, so we’ll stay until he’s ready to go.” Meredith took a seat. “Yum … something sure smells good.”

  “I’ve had a pot of vegetable soup simmering on the stove for about an hour,” Dorine said after she’d poured them both a cup of tea. “I thought it would taste good on a chilly day like this. You and Luke are more than welcome to stay and have lunch with us if you like.”

  “The soup sounds good, but we probably won’t stay that long. We’re planning to stop by my folks’ place yet.” Meredith sighed deeply before blowing on her tea.

  “Is everything all right?” Dorine asked, pushing a stray wisp of dark hair under the side of her white head covering. “Those wrinkles I see in your forehead make me think you might be worried about something.”

  “Jah, just a bit.” Meredith waited until Dorine had joined her at the table, and then she told her about the offer Luke had received from his uncle.

  “That’s good news,” Dorine said. “Since Luke needs a job, it’s certainly an answer to everyone’s prayers.”

  Meredith took a sip of tea then set the cup on the table. “That’s what Luke thinks, too, but I’m not so sure.”

  “You don’t think Luke should buy his uncle’s business?”

  “I do have some concerns.”

  “But Luke needs a job, and this sounds like the solution to your financial problems.”

  “I know it does, but it’s going to take a big chunk of our savings for him to buy his uncle’s equipment—even if he only pays for part of it now and the rest once he starts making money from the business.”

  “He shouldn’t have any trouble earning that money after he begins engraving headstones here.” Dorine’s tone was optimistic.

  “Maybe.” Meredith took another sip of tea, letting the warm liquid roll around on her tongue. She wished she could be optimistic about this like her husband and best friend seemed to be, but something deep inside her said Luke’s trip to Indiana was a big mistake. If the new business didn’t do well, then what? They’d still have to pay for the equipment and would be even worse off than they were right now.

  “If it were me, and my husband was out of work, I’d be thrilled about the opportunity that’s being offered to him,” Dorine said.

  “I do hope it all works out, but …” Meredith’s voice trailed off as she struggled with her swirling emotions.

  “Is there something else bothering you?” Dorine asked, placing her hand gently on Meredith’s arm.

  Meredith nodded. “Luke’s planning to travel by bus to Indiana, and with it being the middle of winter right now, I’m worried about the weather and road conditions.”

  “I’m sure the roads will be fine, and even if they’re not, those bus drivers are used to driving in all kinds of weather.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” Meredith paused. “It’ll be hard being away from Luke, though. In the fourteen months we’ve been married, we’ve never spent even one night apart.”

  “Why don’t you go to Indiana with him?”

  “I’d like to, but I don’t think we should spend the money for an extra bus ticket. Besides, Luke will be busy learning his new trade, so I think it’ll be better for both of us if I stay home.” Meredith was tempted to tell Dorine about her suspected pregnancy but didn’t think it would be fair to say something to her friend when she hadn’t even told Luke. Truth was, another reason Meredith didn’t want to go was because she’d been so tired lately and didn’t think she could tolerate a long bus ride.

  “I know it’ll be hard having Luke gone, but it shouldn’t be for too long, and you can always stay with your folks.”

  Meredith shook her head. “Mom and Dad have enough on their hands with my seven siblings and Grandma Smucker all living under one roof.”

  “You’re welcome to stay here with us while Luke is gone,” Dorine offered, getting up to stir the soup. “Of course, our two little ones can get kind of noisy at times.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’m sure I’ll be fine by myself. Besides, I’ll have Fritz to keep me company, and as you said, Luke shouldn’t be gone too long.” Meredith smiled, feeling a little better about things. “You know the old saying‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ When Luke gets back, we may even have a new appreciation for each other.”

  CHAPTER 3

  Monday afternoon, Meredith paced nervously between the living-room window and the fireplace. Pacing was a habit she’d acquired at a yo
ung age. It didn’t really help anything, but it made her feel better to be doing something other than just sitting and fretting. Luke would be leaving tomorrow afternoon, and all day she’d been struggling with the urge to beg him not to go. It wasn’t just the money he’d taken out of their savings that worried her, nor was it how much she would miss him. What bothered Meredith the most was the bad weather she’d heard they were having in northern Indiana. Even here in Lancaster County it was cold, and there was already some snow on the ground. How would the roads be between here and there? She’d be worried sick until Luke arrived safely at his uncle’s place on Wednesday evening. Indiana … Oh my, it seems so far from here, she thought with regret.

  Meredith went to the desk across the room and opened the bottom drawer, where Luke kept a map of the United States. Placing it on the desk, she studied the distance between Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and South Bend, Indiana. Looking at it this way made it not seem so far, and by bus it was only a day plus a few hours away. Maybe she was making too much of this whole thing.

  I need to stop fretting and trust that God will take care of Luke, Meredith told herself as she put the map away. She stepped up to the window and focused on the beautiful red cardinals eating from the feeders in their front yard. The scene reminded her of what the Bible said in Matthew 6:26: “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?”

  If God takes care of the birds, then He will take care of me and Luke and help us with all our problems. I just need to believe and trust that He will.

  Meredith placed one hand on her stomach. Should I go ahead and tell Luke that I think I’m pregnant, or would it be better to wait until he gets back from Indiana? She took a seat in the rocker near the fireplace. The rhythmic motion of the chair soothed her nerves somewhat as she thought about the situation.