The Silent Daughter

by Kirsty Ferguson

  ‘I love you, Mum,’ whispered Mia from the other bed, so quietly, Danni might have missed it had she exhaled.

  ‘I love you too, baby.’

  39

  While Danni Brooks was thinking about him, Andrew Johnson was thinking about her.

  Andrew had a secret. One that he’d never shared with anyone. He knew about Danni’s family dying in a fire, he’d kept tabs on her all these years, knowing that she’d married her high school sweetheart and had a baby. She had been pregnant when she’d been living at his house but had not confided in his mother. Once she left after she turned eighteen, she had married Joe and had moved out to an old farmhouse. They’d ended up having two more children, another girl and a boy. Andrew had driven up to the road a number of times, but he could just see the top of the house.

  One day, he waited until both Danni and her husband Joe had left the house, and had parked his car beside the road and then run down the driveway. He was surprised to notice that there were bars on the ground level of the house. He tried all of the windows but he couldn’t get in. The doors were locked tight. Danni and her husband obviously worried about security and they were right to. If he could have, he would have gone in and looked around at where she was living these days. He was looking through the window when he was startled by a growling behind him. He turned slowly to face a medium-sized dog. He thought it was a Rottweiler.

  ‘Hey boy, how are you? Are you a good doggy?’ he said in a sing-song voice. The dog wagged his tail hesitantly. Andrew spoke to it again, trying to make friends. ‘I’m going to go now,’ he said, taking a small step backwards. He then turned and slowly began to walk down the driveway, careful to keep his stride measured and not too hurried. Halfway down the driveway, he looked over his shoulder. The dog had followed him part of the way then stopped. Andrew took the opportunity to walk a little bit faster until he reached his car. He did a U-turn and headed back to town. He had seen where she lived and knew that he could provide a much better life for her than this minimum wage husband of hers ever could.

  Andrew needed to talk to Danni, he needed to unburden himself and she was the only person he could speak to about this. His parents had been huddled around the table, talking in hushed voices, yet he was used to eavesdropping on his parents, and he liked hearing about the foster kids, it was interesting. They were discussing Danni. It seemed they were always whispering about Danni since she had arrived.

  He stayed behind the kitchen wall, completely enthralled by what his mother was telling his father. His mouth popped open and suddenly he understood. It was shocking news that would upend Danni’s world, if she could remember it. His mother had said that she had already completely blocked out her visit, but that the psychologist had told his mother everything. Andrew would keep this information to himself, waiting for the right time to tell her. After he read about her unfortunate house fire and her losing her family, he wanted to see her. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right, that he’d take care of her. He just needed to find out where she was so he could organise a catch up.

  He was following her story online and even though it didn’t say exactly where she was, it did say that she was staying at a motel and if people wanted to donate money or goods, they could call Susan Patrick, who was spearheading the campaign to get her back on her feet. He took a chance and called the number at the bottom of the screen.

  ‘Susan Patrick speaking.’

  ‘Hi, Ms Patrick, my name is Andrew Johnson. I’m an old friend of Danni Brooks, actually, I was her foster brother for a while back when she was in her late teens. She was Danni Douglas back then.’

  ‘Oh, hello Andrew, how are you?’ The woman at the end of the line sounded pleased to hear from him.

  ‘Listen, I want to offer my emotional support to Danni. I care about her very much, but I’m afraid we fell out of touch over the past few years. I’d like to find her and offer my condolences in person. Are you able to tell me where she is?’

  Susan sounded relieved. ‘I was hoping some friends or family would come forward to help her cope with her devastating loss. You’re the first person who has offered to do so. I’m not sure if I should pass on her details or not, she’s been so upset, poor thing,’ she said, pausing, ‘but having family around might really help her heal, so I guess since you’re basically family it’s okay. She’s at the motel, here in town. Should I let her know you’re coming?’

  ‘No, I’d like to just pop round and see her on my own, if you don’t mind.’

  ‘Of course, Andrew, I’ll give you her number as well. Thank you for contacting me and good luck with helping Danni. She needs all the emotional support she can get.’

  ‘No problem.’ Andrew hung up, smiling. Now he had her phone number and where she was staying. He only had to decide whether he called her or just showed up at her door. He mulled over it for another two days, weighing up his options.

  Then he decided.

  40

  It was so easy to pick up men. It was like shopping for clothes. You see something you like, you eye it up and down for a moment, deciding if you want to try it on, then you make your decision to walk out of the store with it hanging off your arm. Men are visual creatures and she was hot, dressed provocatively and was always up for a good time, and she looked like it too. Any guy, married or not, was hers for the picking.

  She didn’t often hear no, and on the rare occasions she did, it just made her go harder for the yes. She always got the yes in the end. When she met the tall studious man in the café, he was sitting at a small round table, laptop in front of him, looking at the screen intently. He had a pen between his lips, which she thought odd because there was no paper in sight. The café was crowded and the only way to have a place to sit was to double up on tables. She made a beeline for his table, narrowly beating out a mousy-looking woman who huffed then went and found another table. This one was hers.

  ‘Hi, may I share your table?’ she asked, speaking slightly louder to be heard over the din.

  He looked up, surprised, as if he hadn’t noticed how busy the space was around him.

  ‘Uh, of course. Please, sit down.’ He immediately began staring intently at his computer again, pen back in his mouth.

  ‘So, you’re a writer?’

  He looked up again, surprised that she was speaking to him. ‘Yes, fiction writer, but I’m afraid I’m a little stuck right now, hence my trip to the café. I thought a change of scenery might help me through this block, but no luck so far.’ He smiled a goofy smile, as if unaware of how attractive he was. She would screw him, she decided. There was something about him, something that reminded her of what it was like to be good. They exchanged names before she said, ‘Maybe I could help?’

  ‘That’s nice of you, but I don’t think so.’

  ‘C’mon, let me try. I love to read.’ Lie.

  He explained that his storyline was about a widower who couldn’t move on from his wife’s death, and who had no one to turn to help with his grief. There was more to it, but she was more interested in watching his full lips as he spoke.

  ‘That one’s easy,’ she said. ‘He gets over her by getting under someone else.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ he said quizzically.

  She tried again. ‘He goes out, finds a very willing and attractive woman and fucks her. Then he can move on.’

  He blushed, the colour creeping up his neck. Was it the storyline or the use of the word fuck? She didn’t know.

  ‘I don’t think people do that in real life,’ he said eventually, after clearing his throat twice.

  ‘Trust me, they do. Men are simple creatures, not too hard to unravel. They need to be wanted and don’t like being without a woman. Surely you have a girlfriend and can relate?’

  ‘I’m single.’

  ‘I find that hard to believe,’ she said, beginning to set the bait. The blush coloured his face again. ‘Look, why don’t we go back to your place and I’ll give you the exac
t scene you need, okay? Blow by blow.’ She dropped a wink and smiled at him.

  ‘I have a deadline,’ he stammered.

  She let out a small sigh. ‘I told you the next part of the story and I offered to give you the material you needed. Want to take me up on my offer or what?’ He looked around, as if checking that no one else was hearing her proposition him for sex, as if it was a dirty thing.

  ‘Um… okay, I guess that would be fine.’

  Fine? She’d show him she was better than fine.

  A quick taxi ride later and they stood in his apartment. It was beautiful. Immaculate, even, and she knew she was going to have a great time messing up his bed. He was shy, nervous, so she took off his clothes for him. He was muscular under the track pants and hoodie, his cock hard and ready to go.

  ‘Lay down,’ she commanded as she pulled a condom from her purse, expertly rolling it down his cock with her mouth.

  ‘Where’d you learn to do that?’ he asked, slightly in awe of the ravenous woman on top of him.

  ‘I’ve picked up a few tricks here and there,’ she smiled. ‘Now relax.’

  Fifteen minutes later, as he strained from fucking her hard, he yelled, ‘I’m about to come!’ She smiled. They were all the same. ‘Joanne!’ he shouted as he came inside her. He had remembered her name, she thought, shocked. Her real name.

  She climbed off him. ‘Now that’s the next part of your book,’ Joanne said, beginning to put her clothes back on, mission accomplished. Actually, he’d ended up being pretty good, knowing his way around the female body. ‘Don’t forget to write it, dirty act by dirty act.’

  He leaned over the side of his bed and grabbed his laptop. As she left his apartment, she could hear him furiously tapping away at the keys. She went home feeling good. Happy, even. It had been a long time since a man had called out her real name during sex. She used a fake name so often that sometimes she almost forgot that she was known as something else. Joanne.

  41

  She awoke with a start. She hadn’t slept last night, so she’d fallen asleep in health class, the second to last class of the day. She hadn’t felt it when Julie had taken a pen and drawn a penis on her face near her mouth, droplets heading towards her lips. When she woke with the bell and her classmates saw her, they laughed and pointed. She could guess what they were laughing about. She wiped her hand over her mouth, nope, no drool, and her heart sank. She quickly went to the toilet and looked in the mirror, squeaking with shock. Who… Then she remembered that Julie was in the class with her. She pulled out a bundle of paper towelling, ran it under the water and began scrubbing. She had to rub so hard that her face went red and began to feel raw. Finally, the ink was off her face, and her skin was glowing red.

  She stalked off to find Julie to give her a piece of her mind. She didn’t normally engage in retaliation, except that time at the pool, and that was because she feared for her life. No, she was normally passive to the point of being walked all over. The bell rang for the next class. Julie would have to wait. She glimpsed her in the crowd as they went their separate ways but there was no way she was letting this go, not this time. She was sick of being the laughing stock of the school. People who she didn’t even know would chuckle at her expense and she couldn’t handle it any more. She had been pushed beyond breaking point. No more. She had to do something. She had no friends, so it wasn’t like she had anything to lose and as she sat in the last class, she began plotting her revenge. Once she happened upon an idea, she wondered why she hadn’t thought of it before. It was so simple yet so humiliating, all at the same time. She couldn’t wait for the bell to ring so she could put her plan in motion.

  She would go directly to Julie’s locker and wait for her there. She just wished she had a phone on her, but she figured that enough people would whip out their phones or use the ones already in their hands. It was going to be a doozy. She waited very impatiently, watching the clock tick off the seconds, paying absolutely no attention to what the teacher was saying.

  The bell finally rang after what seemed like an eternity and she hurried against the sea of humanity so she reached Julie’s locker before she did. She made it and leaned against the locker. She received a few looks, people knowing the history between the two of them; they were probably wondering why she was waiting for her, what would happen.

  ‘What are you doing standing against my locker?’ Julie roared, barging through the crowd towards her.

  The kids gathered, the tension hanging in the air like the ozone smell before a storm. Everyone knew that Julie picked on her, so they wanted to see what she did to her. She would have the last laugh.

  As soon as Julie was close enough, she stepped forward and, before Julie knew what hit her, quick as a flash, she pulled down her gym shorts so she was on show to everyone. No pants, no underwear. Naked as the day she was born. The cameras caught every humiliating second.

  ‘Christine! No!’ shouted one of Julie’s friends, but the damage had already been done. The crowd roared with laughter as Julie frantically tried to pull her pants up. Julie started to cry, great heaving sobs, before pushing through the crowd, running.

  Christine had the last laugh.

  42

  Danni woke up in a panic. She could smell smoke and could hear the cries of Alexandra and Noah. She was trapped by the sheet, fighting with it to free herself. She was covered in sweat, her face flushed. Quickly she hobbled over to Mia to make sure that she was real, that she was alive. Danni reached out with a trembling hand, afraid to touch her as much as she wanted to. Eventually, she unfroze, wondering how long she’d been standing there. Long enough that Mia had sensed her, rolled over in her bed and was facing her, a blank look on her face.

  ‘Sorry, honey, I had a terrible nightmare about Alexandra and Noah. I dreamed that you were gone too. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you too. I would just die, Mia. Do you understand that? I can’t live without you.’

  ‘Yes, Mum.’

  Danni went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. There were dark circles under her eyes that looked bruised, her eyes themselves were bloodshot and her hair was a tangled mess. Instead of brushing her long hair, she swept it up into a messy bun high on her head. After splashing her face with cold water, she felt a bit more human, the smudges under her eyes receding so she looked reasonably normal.

  Once dressed, she was trying to coax Mia into the shower, as it had been a while, her grief ran that deep, but it was no use, short of dragging her there. It might actually come to that eventually, thought Danni. She dressed, leaving Mia in her pyjamas. It was what she was more comfortable in, anyway, and who was going to see her? She stayed in the room all day every day.

  Her phone, which she was beginning to hate, rang. She quickly silenced it before looking at the screen. No caller ID. That meant it could be Beth, or it could be someone else. Only Susan’s number was stored in there, that and Trust Insurance’s, who’d knocked back her appeal yet again. She really was screwed now. Running away sounded better and better each day. She was brought back to the present by the vibration in her hand. The damn phone was still ringing. She took it outside.

  ‘Hello?’ she said warily.

  ‘Danni?’

  ‘Yes, who’s this?’

  ‘It’s Andrew.’

  She wracked her brains trying to think of any Andrew that she knew.

  ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know any Andrew. How did you get this number?’

  ‘Susan gave it to me. I’m Andrew Johnson, from your foster family.’

  Again, the smell of leather, the softness under her fingers, the hushed voices.

  ‘Oh, Andrew,’ she said without much enthusiasm. After all, he had been a fourteen-year-old creep back then. Could he blame her for not being more excited?

  ‘Before you say anything, I just want to apologise for my behaviour in the months that you stayed with us. I was cheeky and unkind.’

  Not the words she wo
uld have chosen.

  ‘I would have apologised sooner, but I lost track of you.’ Liar.

  ‘What do you want, Andrew?’ she asked, sighing slightly. She didn’t have time for this. She had to plan their escape from Beth’s watchful eye and vengeful heart.

  ‘Actually, I want to see you, I mean, to talk to you. Can we catch up somewhere? I can come to you if you’d like.’

  ‘No,’ she said quickly. Mia needed to rest and their motel room afforded no privacy from her daughter. She had no idea what he was going to say, so she needed to pre-empt it. ‘I’ll meet you somewhere. Where and when?’

  ‘How about we meet at the park? By the pond in an hour and we can have a real catch up.’

  ‘Fine, Andrew, I’ll see you then.’ She hung up the phone, wishing she could just throw it out the window. Pity she couldn’t. However, she would dump the phone as soon as they left town, just so she couldn’t be tracked. She hadn’t expected Susan to give out her phone number, but Andrew had probably sweet-talked her. She really didn’t want to see him, remembering the cocky and pervy fourteen-year-old boy who stole her underwear then lied to his parents about it. She wondered what he could possibly have to say to her.

  ‘Mia,’ she said from across the room. The girl rolled over and looked at her mother. Progress. ‘I have to go out again. I’m so sorry I keep leaving you like this, but I think it’s important. And… there’s something else I need to talk to you about. Um… we’re going to be going on a little trip for a while, actually, indefinitely. Beth is making life difficult so I thought it would be easier to leave town for a while, maybe for good. How do you feel about that?’ She waited, holding her breath.