Summer's Path

by Scott Blum

  For the first time, Suzanne allowed herself to wonder how much time her husband had left. Judging by the way he was acting today, it didn’t seem like very much longer.

  “Soon it will just be us,” she said to Sadie and the puppies while forcing a smile. “Just the ten of us.”

  “Wake up,” whispered Suzanne. “Are you okay? Wake up, hon.”

  Robert opened his eyes and saw Don’s wife come into focus. He could see the sense of relief in her eyes when he regained consciousness. And the love emanating from her heart was as pure as any he’d felt before. He was starting to understand why Don was prepared to do what he was going to do. If there was a love powerful enough to drive one to take one’s own life, this was it.

  “You’ve been sleeping for two days,” Suzanne said while helping him sit up. “I was worried about you.”

  Robert attempted to speak, but his throat felt constricted. “W-w-a,” he croaked.

  “You must be dehydrated,” Don’s wife said while grabbing a glass of water from the nightstand. “Have some water.”

  Robert drained the entire glass in one long drink and gave it back to Suzanne. “Thank you,” he said with a sigh. “I was thirsty.”

  “I see that,” she smiled sweetly. “Are you okay? I was worried about you sleeping so much.”

  “I was just tired.”

  “Do you want something to eat?”

  “Not hungry.” Usually Robert was starving when he entered a new body, but for some reason the thought of food repulsed him.

  Suzanne filled the glass with water again, and after returning it to the nightstand, she leaned over to kiss her husband. Robert recoiled and shook his head violently.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Robert kept shaking his head until he thought of something to say. He had made a promise to Don that he intended to honor. Although he was sure there was no way Don would find out if Suzanne kissed him that morning, he wanted to be able to assure him that nothing had happened.

  “Bad breath,” he finally said with a wry smile. He remembered that humor often kept uncomfortable situations at bay.

  “Okay,” she laughed. “You’re a nut.”

  “I’ll be fine,” he said, smiling. “Go to work, and I’ll call you if I need anything.”

  Suzanne nodded while looking at her watch. “I better go now—I’m late.” She blew him a kiss from across the room and ran out the door.

  After Suzanne left, Robert began to feel the pain that Don had been harboring. It started as a dull throbbing throughout his torso and culminated in sharp stabbing pains in the area of his solar plexus. And his scratchy throat gave way to a burning sensation at the base of his esophagus whenever he swallowed.

  “I need to work on the body first,” he said aloud to nobody in particular. He could sense that the cancer was spreading rapidly, and it was important to get it under control soon or else the body would be of no use to him.

  Robert knew from his previous Walk-in experiences that thoughts and memories were stored within the cells in the human body. This cellular memory was one of the reasons why being a Walk-in was so effective after the original soul was no longer inhabiting the body, and was how it already knew how to walk and talk. However, the body also stored emotions in its cells, especially if they hadn’t been given the opportunity to be outwardly expressed in a healthy manner. Suppressed emotions often became trapped in the cells, which could ultimately result in disease. Robert assumed that this had likely contributed to Don’s health problems, and he was hoping to find the core emotions that might have been trapped.

  Closing his eyes, Robert started with the pain in the esophagus. He attempted to feel into Don’s unexpressed emotions that were intertwined with the pain. At first he didn’t feel anything other than a burning sensation, but as he progressed lower to the base of the stomach, he discovered a large pool of unexpressed worry. Initially, it seemed to be about the illness itself getting worse, but then he discovered a much bigger pool of unexpressed worry about money. Within the stomach, the worry about money was nearly paralyzing, and Robert was confident that it had contributed to the spread of the cancer there.

  “I’m worried I don’t have insurance!” Robert yelled at the top of his lungs. “I’m worried the medical bills are going to destroy us financially! I’m worried we’ll lose our house because of my stupid disease!”

  Robert felt deeply into the emotions that were trapped in his stomach, and they were all of a similar theme. Every time he felt a new one, he would express it out loud with as much strength as he could muster. “I’m worried I’ll never be able to work again!” This realization was shocking even to Robert, and it sent chills down his spine. It was clear to him that Don had invested much of his personal self-worth in his career, and the thought that he would never be able to pursue it again absolutely horrified him.

  “I’ll never work again!” he yelled as loud as he could. “I’ll never work again!” he kept screaming over and over until he began to cry. It started with a few tears welling up at the corners of his eyes, and within seconds it evolved into a full wail. He cried so hard that he began convulsing on the bed, and his sobs degenerated into dry heaves. He gasped for several minutes, clutching his stomach and writhing on the bed until his breath returned.

  After the convulsions were finally over, Robert opened his eyes and focused on the ceiling fan until the rest of the room came back into focus. He could feel that the burning in his esophagus was significantly less, and the upper part of his abdomen felt much lighter.

  He continued to release the trapped emotions that had lodged themselves deep within the cells of the various organs. In addition to the anxiety and worry in the pancreas and stomach, Don had squirreled away unexpressed fear in his kidneys, grief in his lungs, and anger in his liver. It was a miracle he had only been diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas, because several of his other organs were on the verge of succumbing to the fatal disease.

  He wondered how society had evolved to the point of letting such self-destructive behavior become so common. In the name of harmony, humans had apparently begun to favor the suppression of one’s own emotions over expressing them openly while they were still manageable. And, in addition to the self-inflicted tragedies similar to Don’s, many more outwardly destructive tragedies were becoming commonplace as victims regularly lashed out at others when they were no longer able to contain their emotions. Sometimes the damage was limited to their own homes, but more frequently these tragedies were claiming larger and larger numbers of victims.

  After several hours, Robert’s hunger returned with a vengeance. He was famished, and went into the kitchen to find something to eat. Rummaging through the refrigerator, he found an unopened bag of baby carrots, and noticed that there was a halfeaten loaf of bread on the counter. He intuitively grabbed both and returned to the bedroom, where he proceeded to eat the entire bag of carrots and most of the bread in one sitting.

  He felt the nourishing energy flow through his body, and although his stomach began to cramp once he had finished, thankfully he was able to keep the food down and enjoy the benefits. He didn’t know exactly how long Don had gone without eating, but judging by how his body was reacting, it was probably quite some time.

  Robert was still exhausted from the worry that he had released earlier in the morning, but he knew that he still had to get to the root of the cancer itself. He decided to take a quick nap to regain some of his energy before continuing, and slept without a single dream, which was unusual for him. When he was in the physical world, he often dreamed in order to stay in touch with his life on the spiritual plane. But this time, even his subconscious self was preoccupied with breaking down the nourishment that he had consumed before he fell asleep. He slept for most of the afternoon and was awakened by Suzanne when she came home from work.

  “How are you feeling?” she asked as she was changing out of her work clothes.

  Robert quickly averted his eyes and tried to casually focus
on the glass of water he was drinking.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Why won’t you look at me?”

  Robert wasn’t uncomfortable with Suzanne changing, but he took Don’s request seriously. Even under the best of circumstances, the sense of helplessness one felt after surrendering one’s body to someone else could easily throw a soul into depression. Because of this, Robert knew it was important to go out of his way to distance himself from her as soon as possible.

  Thinking quickly, Robert feigned a coughing fit and acted like he hadn’t heard what Suzanne had asked. He continued to cough until his face turned beet red and the veins in his neck protruded. Suzanne rushed to his side and pounded his back repeatedly until he stopped coughing.

  “Thanks,” he said. “I think some water went down the wrong pipe.”

  “Are you better now?”

  Robert nodded. “Good news—I ate some carrots and bread today.”

  “I see that,” she said, looking at the empty wrappers on the nightstand. “There are crumbs everywhere.” She smiled while brushing the crumbs off the bed with the edge of her hand. “Can I make you some dinner?”

  “I’d love some more carrots,” he said.

  “I think you ate them all. Do you want me to go to the store?”

  “If you don’t mind.”

  “Do you want anything else?”

  Robert tried to put a word to the specific hunger he was feeling. “Fruit,” he finally said. “And some more bread, please.”

  “Are you sure? You hate fruit. What kind do you want?”

  Robert saw a vision of a particular fruit in his mind but couldn’t retrieve the name of it. “I dunno, just fruit.”

  “‘Just fruit,’” she mimicked. “Okay, I’ll get you some carrots, bread, and some just fruit,” she smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

  Robert was waiting in the kitchen when Suzanne returned, and he systematically studied every morsel she removed from the shopping bag. When she was finished putting everything on the counter, he instinctively grabbed a medium-sized fruit with a smooth greenish red skin.

  “Mango,” said Suzanne. “You wanted a mango. Interesting. I thought you hated all fruit.”

  Robert brought the mango to his mouth and took a big bite as if it was an apple. The flavor was rich and sweet, but the peel was bitter and chewy.

  “You’re not supposed to eat the skin!” Suzanne exclaimed as she grabbed the fruit out of his hands. “Let me peel it for you.” She giggled as she cut the skin off with a sharp paring knife.

  The energy from the mango immediately entered Robert’s bloodstream, and everything came into focus. Unfortunately, this heightened the awareness of the pain in his upper abdomen. He pressed as hard as he could between his ribs to apply pressure to the pancreas, but it didn’t help. The pain quickly became unbearable, and he stumbled to the bedroom and got back into bed with Suzanne’s help.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten the entire mango so quickly,” she said.

  Robert understood the real problem was that the pain in his stomach had masked the pain in the pancreas, and as he’d become stronger, he was able to feel the next threshold of pain. He knew that the next thing he had to do was to release the emotions that had been trapped in the pancreas, but it wasn’t going to be easy. It would also be uncomfortable for Suzanne to watch, so he decided to wait until she was at work the following day.

  Robert closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep while Suzanne changed into her nightclothes and quietly climbed into bed. After a few hours, he was able to fall asleep once his fatigue finally overtook the pain.

  The next morning, Robert awoke to find that his nausea had dissipated, yet his hunger remained. He made his way to the kitchen and saw a note on the refrigerator door that was affixed with a ladybug magnet:

  “Gotta do monthlies today. Cut fruit in the fridge.

  — Love, S.”

  Robert opened the door and enjoyed the fruit plate that Suzanne had prepared for him. After eating, he visited the garage for the first time since the “swap.” The puppies were all nuzzled against their mother, who was still clearly exhausted from all the excitement of the past few days.

  Robert kneeled down next to Sadie and put his hand gently on the side of her muzzle. “Thank you, Sadie,” he said telepathically. “You have done a very selfless and noble thing. Don and I are both forever in your debt.”

  Sadie took a deep breath and sighed.

  “I need to take Don away for a little while, but I promise I’ll take good care of him.”

  Sadie whimpered quietly and licked the small puppy that was sleeping third from her left.

  Robert gently picked up the puppy she had kissed and cradled him with his right arm. “I’ll bring him back soon,” he said out loud. “Come on, Don. It’s time to do some work.”

  Robert carried the small puppy to the bedroom and put him on the pillow at the head of the bed. He took a moment to smooth the teal-and-cream-colored comforter before lying down and placing the puppy on his chest. He watched the furry black baby rise and fall with his every breath before continuing.

  “Okay, my friend. It’s time to get to the root of all this,” he said aloud to the puppy. “What are you really worried about, Don?”

  “I think I’m blind!” exclaimed Don. Ever since he had been born into the puppy’s body, he couldn’t see anything.

  “You’re not blind.” Robert laughed. “Your eyes just haven’t opened yet.”

  Don felt relieved when he was reminded that puppies were born with their eyes closed. “Oh yeah, I forgot. That’s normal, right?”

  “Of course it’s normal.” Robert laughed again.

  Don was still getting used to being in a puppy body. In some ways it was remarkably similar to being in a human one, with a few obvious differences. First of all, he could only walk around on four legs instead of two; related to this was the fact that he could no longer pick things up with his hands. This frustrated Don the most, although he discovered that there would always be another way of doing something that he was used to doing with his hands. For example, whenever his nose would itch, he found that his tongue was able to lick it, which felt remarkably more satisfying than scratching it with his fingers ever had. He spent hours at a time licking his nose with his warm tongue because of how good it felt.

  But the thing that Don enjoyed the most was his tail. It seemed to be connected directly to his emotions and would express his feelings without him having to think about them. When he was feeling good, his tail would wag in a rhythm that forced his hips to move back and forth in what could only be described as a “happy dance.” And when he was feeling upset, his tail would slap against whatever was near in a dramatic display of anger and discontentment. Suzanne had often complained that Don wouldn’t show his feelings, and he couldn’t help but think that she would be proud of him now. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had always expressed himself with his tail. However, when he was in a human body, his tail was simply too small to see.

  “Okay, Don,” said Robert. “I’m going to reconnect our energetic fields together so that we can feel each other’s emotions. This isn’t something I recommend doing on a regular basis, but we need to work together to release the toxic emotions that are embedded in your human body.”

  “I don’t know what that means.”

  “It’s simple, really. All it means is that you’ll be able to feel your old human body once again as if you were still inside of it.”

  Within seconds Don began sensing the familiar pain of being inside of his human body. He was still aware of his puppy body, but there was an expanded awareness that included his old vessel. Once his awareness completely came into focus, Don couldn’t help grimacing from the pain of his illness.

  “Welcome back,” said Robert. “What I’m going to do is guide you to different places within your old body where you have buried various emotions.”

  ”What do I do?”

&nb
sp; “You simply let me guide you, and when you come across an emotion, just feel it as deeply as you can. Don’t run away from your feelings like you have for years—just feel them completely.”

  “Okay.”

  “And since I can feel what you’re feeling,” continued Robert, “I’m going to give voice to whatever emotions you come across, hopefully releasing them so they’ll no longer continue to damage this body.”

  After a few seconds, Don felt an inner movement that was similar to being pushed through the snow on a sled. There was a thrilling sense of freedom as he moved faster and faster, and he was just starting to enjoy it when he felt a sharp pain in his pancreas. Almost immediately, the physical pain was replaced with fear and the familiar anxiety about money.

  “How are we going to pay for these medical bills?” Robert yelled out loud, which startled Don. “Suzanne is going to hate me!” Robert screamed even louder. “She’s going to hate me for ruining her life!”

  Don began to worry whether someone could hear Robert yelling. Suzanne and Don were always pretty even-keeled, and when they occasionally disagreed, they would still communicate in relatively hushed tones.

  “Nobody can hear us,” Robert assured him. “Don’t get distracted with being self-conscious. Just feel into the pain, and let whatever emotions come up flow freely.”

  “I’ll try.”

  Don once again felt pushed into the center of the pain within his pancreas. This time he sensed his breathing stop as he heard one of his biggest fears uttered out loud for the first time in his life.

  “She’s going to hate me,” screamed Robert, “and then she’s going to leave me!”

  This sent chills throughout Don’s entire being.

  “I’m worried that Suzanne will leave me, and then I’ll die alone!”