Christmas in the City II

by Samantha Chase

  I caught her hand and held it in both of mine. As our gazes locked, laughter stopped. There was no way in hell what I was feeling was only one-sided. I doubted it ever was.

  “Josh,” Brianna pleaded on a whisper. “Don’t, please.”

  “Don’t please what, Bri?” Feeling brazen, I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. I ran my thumb along the delicate curve of her jaw. Her eyes fluttered, urging me on. “Don’t touch you?” I let my finger drift over her full bottom lip. “Don’t kiss you?” I whispered with a husky rasp to my voice. Our faces were so close, our lips brushed. Brianna’s mouth parted and I uttered a curse under my breath. We were so damn close. All we had to do was close that distance. Her hand drifted up my shoulder and clutched the back of my neck.

  “Hey boss!” Brianna jerked back and dropped her gaze to the floor. Fuck. One of my mechanics rushed in from the adjoining garage with greasy hands.

  “That part finally came in. Whelan’s bike sings now. Come on back and take a look.”

  I plastered on a smile and nodded. “Thanks, Lou. I’ll be there in five.”

  “Oh, um, hey . . .” Lou stammered as he glanced between Brianna and me. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anyth—”

  “You didn’t.” Brianna popped off the chair and grabbed her coat. “I better go. This is a great place. I’m happy for you, Josh.” She pressed a quick good-bye kiss on my cheek and turned to leave. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back, but she wouldn’t turn around.

  “We are not pretending that didn’t happen. How about we finally admit what’s really between us?” I turned her around to face me. Her eyes darted from my gaze, but I pulled her body flush to mine to make her look at me.

  “I want you. I always have. Maybe it’s wrong, but I’m not the least bit sorry. I know you better than anyone. You feel it, too.” She shut her eyes and gave me a slow nod. I let out a long relieved breath. I opened my mouth to speak but she put her finger on my lips before I could say a word.

  “If you had told me all those years ago—”

  “You’d have been lonely and miserable living half a life waiting for me. I couldn’t let that happen.” Of course, holding in my feelings all this time meant I gave Scott a chance to happen, but that could be rectified. “This is our chance, Bri. We deserve it—fuck, we earned it. Please.” I gritted my teeth as I resorted to begging. Brianna was within my grasp; there wasn’t a lot I wouldn’t do to finally make her mine.

  Brianna’s eyes swam with unshed tears as she gave me a lingering kiss on my cheek. “We’ll talk later, okay? You’ll be at my parents’ for Christmas Eve, right?” Her hazel eyes locked with mine, and I was powerless. I kissed her forehead and nodded.

  “Sure.”

  I watched her shoulders droop as she moped away. My eyes stayed glued to her back until she swiveled to meet my gaze.

  “You were everything, Josh. I would have waited forever. Too bad you never gave me the choice. In fact, weren’t your exact words to forget you?” A sad laugh fell from her lips as she walked through the door.

  We were so close, yet so far, always. I’d been back for months, but now it was finally time to come home.

  Chapter 7

  Brianna

  “Don’t get married and have kids, Brianna. Life ends and becomes nothing but aggravation.” My friend Sadie exhaled an audible sigh as she offered her hand to the manicurist. She was my first boss and we’d always been close friends—even after she left the agency to have a baby. “Let Dan change a diaper for once. My phone could buzz in my purse all afternoon for all I care. I said I’d be home at four and I refuse to come home a second earlier.”

  I chuckled from the pedicure chair behind her. “I don’t think I have anything to worry about.” Flipping through the outdated magazine on my lap, I did my best to ignore the pang in my belly every time someone brought up marriage or kids. I was sure that an engagement ring was coming last Christmas. So sure, that when I opened the black velvet box of earrings, my disappointment gutted me and I spent most of Christmas Eve crying in the bathroom. I must’ve moped until Martin Luther King Day.

  “You never talk about it?” Sadie admired her red nails as she positioned her other hand on the table.

  “We did a while ago, but not lately. He’s focused on his company now. I will, I suppose. Someday.”

  “You suppose? How romantic.” Sadie hobbled over to the nail dryers and shook her head at me.

  “We’ve been together for a long time. The romance part fades, doesn’t it?” I grimaced at her.

  “Shouldn’t fade this fast. You know, just because it seems the next logical step, doesn’t mean you have to do it. If he asked you on Christmas, what would you say?”

  “I would say yes . . . probably.” I huffed as I wiggled my toes into paper flip flops to get them painted. Last Christmas, my answer would have been a boisterous definitely. What a difference a year made.

  “Bri, marriage is hard enough without settling for a guy you’d ‘probably’ say yes to.”

  After letting her words set in for a bit, once I was done I rose from the pedicure chair and sat beside her at the dryers. I was always a sucker for romance, but this was real life.

  “Were you ever with anyone who made no one else exist or matter? That’s who you should marry. Have you, Bri?”

  “What? I mean no, I guess not.” I zoned out a moment as my gaze dropped to the floor.

  “Hey! Earth to Brianna!” Sadie cupped her mouth and aimed it right into my ear.

  “Sorry, I’m so distracted. Scott and I have been having issues because of Josh. He thinks he’s around too much.”

  “The friend who just moved back? The letters guy?”

  The friend I think I’m still in love with.

  “Yes. He’s just stressed out and insecure.” I slipped on my sneakers and grabbed my jacket.

  “Or maybe a little smart.” Sadie chuckled as she raised an eyebrow.

  “Smart?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

  She put her hand on my shoulder and raised her eyebrows. “You should see the dopey and dazed look on your face when you say “Josh.” Never happened with any mention of Scott, or any other guy for that matter. You should think about that, darlin’.”

  I took a seat next to her, dropped my face to my hands and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Josh was my first love. My only love, really. He left for the military and all I did for four years was wait for him to come back.” I groaned, recalling my pathetic teenage self. Even after Mr. Falco packed up the house and moved in with Josh’s uncle in Boston, I still glanced down the block, hoping against stupid hope I’d see Josh step out of his boarded up house and fly down the steps to meet me. Just like the old days. “Then I met Scott, and for the very first time I considered a life with someone else. He was sweet, funny—”

  “I don’t know about that.” Sadie grimaced and I couldn’t help but smile back. Scott had a dry sense of humor that at times offended more than amused.

  “And had huge plans for his future. Josh was a dream I said good-bye to—”

  “Until he came back.” Sadie raised an eyebrow as she blew on her nails.

  I shrugged and shook my head. “It’s silly. All the memories he’s triggered since he came back are screwing with my head. That’s all it is.”

  “How do you feel when you’re with Josh?” Sadie raised her eyebrows as she tapped her foot.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “How do I feel? Who are you, Oprah?” I snickered, desperately trying to avoid the question.

  “Dan, although he aggravated the shit out of me today, makes me feel . . . alive. Whole. Like when I’m by his side I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.” She dropped her hand to my forearm and squeezed. “Whoever makes you feel that way, that’s who you should be with. Obligation and complacency don’t equate to love. Just . . . think about it, Bri.”

  Scott was right, Josh and I had history, but that didn’t m
ean he was my future. I didn’t want to throw away what Scott and I had on some crazy chance.

  And, what if I did take that chance and it all went south, making me lose my best friend for good this time.

  It was hard to take what you wanted when you had no idea what, or who, that should be.

  Chapter 8

  Josh

  “Hey, boss! Someone here to see you.” Lou peeked into my office door.

  “Really?” I was surprised. We’d gotten a couple of new customers but the week before Christmas was pretty dead.

  “Yeah, says his name’s Scott.” He shrugged.

  You’ve got to be kidding me. “Send him in.”

  Scott was working more than ever according to Brianna and she asked me to tag along to her agency holiday party last week so she wouldn’t have to go home alone. She swore Scott didn’t have an issue with it, but her phone blew up all night long with calls and messages. He couldn’t clear his schedule to attend, but made sure she didn’t forget he was around. I wished I could.

  “Hi, Josh.” Scott’s lips stretched into a tight smile as he strolled into my office and took a seat in front of my desk. My mouth twisted in a smirk, remembering how Brianna and I almost kissed in that very spot last week.

  “Scott.” I nodded back. “You didn’t strike me as the motorcycle type.”

  “I’m not. I’m here for personal reasons.” He crossed his legs and rested his hand on his knee.

  “Okay.” I leaned my elbows on my desk. “What can I do for you?”

  “Stay away from Brianna.”

  My eyes widened as I drew back in my chair. “That’s not up to you.”

  Scott huffed and shifted in the chair. “You’re confusing her. She’s distracted.”

  “Maybe she’s distracted, but I don’t think she’s confused.” I leaned forward and rested my forearms on the surface of my desk. “And neither do you.”

  He let out a long sigh and rolled his eyes. “Do you know how hard it is to start a business? She fiddles with headlines and you play with bikes all day. I’m trying to make a life for us. Until then, I don’t need you and your letters and your ‘cupcake this and that’ screwing with her head.” Scott spit his words at me as his jaw clenched.

  “First of all, Brianna is a talented writer. She’s too special to have anyone look down on her.”

  “I don’t look down on her. I love her. I did some digging on you.” He folded his arms like a smug toddler. “You were quite the bad fucking seed. Selling drugs, fighting. You really think you’re good enough for her?”

  I nodded. “On paper it looks that way. I went into the military and they made a man out of me, and eventually helped me get my life together. One of the bikes I played with sold for thirty grand last week. And no, I’m not good enough for her. But she still belongs with me.”

  I rose from my seat and marched over to where he sat. “So, I’m not going anywhere. I think we’re done talking.” I nodded over to the door.

  His nostrils flared as his hands balled into fists. “Does she know everything? All the shit you did that almost got you thrown in jail? I’ll bet she doesn’t.”

  I burst out laughing. “Are you threatening me? I assure you, she knows it all. She stuck by my side until the day I left, no matter how hard I tried to push her away. You could lie.” I shrugged. “And embellish. She won’t believe you. But hey, do what you have to do.”

  Scott shot up from his chair and stormed toward my office door.

  “Hey, Scott.” He stopped without looking back.

  “I don’t blame you for playing dirty. I would too, if I was about to lose her.”

  “Fuck you.” He slammed the door on his way out.

  I fell into my seat and leaned back. Years ago, that kind of a confrontation would have created a hulk-like rage inside. My lips ticked up in a smile as the only feeling spreading in my chest was . . . victory. I almost sympathized with the guy. I would fight like hell not to let her go. But she wasn’t with him.

  She was with me all along, I only needed to make her admit it.

  Chapter 9

  Brianna

  “Thank you, everyone. This has been an amazing four months and I think we’ll have a fantastic New Year!” Josh raised his glass of champagne and the rest of Falco Custom Bikes nodded and raised theirs in kind. It was surreal to gaze at him now, the self-assured, level-headed businessman. His muscular chest stretched the confines of his blue button down shirt as his ink peeked out from beneath his open collar. My eyes traveled to the tattoos on his wrists. Why did I find those sexiest of all? His arms and—from what I could tell from the shirts he wore—most of his chest, were lined with multi-colored designs, but his wrists drove me crazy. I darted my gaze to my plate once I realized I was ogling my best friend’s hands. The holidays this year seemed to bring nothing but confusion and stress when it came to the men in my life.

  “If I may.” Josh’s Uncle Billy rose from the table. He gazed around the table at the handful of mechanics Josh employed at the small Queens-based shop and turned to his nephew with eyes full of pride. “To my nephew, the boy who turned his life around and became a success. No matter what happens, I’ll never be prouder of anyone than I am of you right now. To Josh.”

  Josh’s lips spread into a sheepish smile as his eyes glossed over. I dropped my hand to his forearm and squeezed. He covered my hand with his and met my gaze. I was certain I’d never be prouder of anyone at that moment, either.

  “So enough with the mushy bullshit.” The deep rumble of laughter from the guys filled the room. “Happy holidays and let’s eat!”

  The rooftop restaurant with its surrounding terrace had gorgeous views of the entire city. The red and green lights from the top of the Empire State Building illuminated the entire room. The crowd was small, only the workers with their spouses and his uncle. Josh’s father kept an eye on the shop in Boston. I had the feeling too many bad memories kept Mr. Falco from returning to New York City, even for a visit. His uncle was returning home the next day, and I was glad Josh was spending Christmas with me and my family, although I was sure it would be awkward as all hell. Scott hated even the mention of Josh in his presence now, and I had the impression Josh wasn’t Scott’s biggest fan either.

  “Nice of you to invite me. This place beats the loud club I dragged you to for our holiday party.” I grimaced at Josh.

  “It wasn’t so bad.” He shrugged. “Want to walk outside and see the view?” He nodded his scruffy chin to the outside terrace.

  “It’s like twenty degrees.” I pursed my lips and shook my head.

  “Oh, come on.” He stood and grabbed his suit jacket off the back of his chair. “Put this on. We won’t be out long. Seems a shame to be here and have no one go outside.”

  I sighed as he pulled me from my chair and dragged me out to the terrace. The subfreezing bite of air hit me before Josh could drape his jacket across my shoulders. Shivering, I rubbed my hands together as I made my way toward the railing.

  “It is beautiful out here. You should get a jacket.” I cursed myself for wearing a sweater dress with only a nylon barrier between my legs and the December chill. New York City was its most beautiful at night, especially during Christmas. It was a shame the buildings at Rockefeller Center covered the lights of the tree, but we had a great view of the Fifth Avenue snowflake.

  “Geez, Cupcake. Is your blood that thin?” He snickered as he rubbed his hands up and down my arms but my shivering didn’t cease. I wasn’t only shaking from the cold. My constant and lifelong pull to the beautiful boy, now a gorgeous man, was becoming too all-consuming to ignore. Being all alone, together, the air pulsed with it.

  “No, it’s just that cold. I don’t have muscles to keep me warm the way you do.” I narrowed my eyes at him and turned to focus on the view of the skyline, the stars, anything to distract me from what I felt.

  Josh wrapped his arms around me and kissed the back of my head. “My m
uscles keep me warm? I thought it was the pretty girl wearing my jacket.”

  “You’ve known me far too long to throw lines at me, Falco.” I turned and froze under the heat of his gaze.

  “I’m . . . I’m proud of you,” I stammered, grasping at anything I could to direct us to an easier subject. “You’re a success.”

  Josh spun me around and pulled my body flush to his. I took in a sharp gasp as he threaded his fingers into my hair. “Not quite. I’ll be a success when I can call the woman I’ve loved my whole life mine.” His eyes were feral as he framed my face in his hands, running his thumbs along my cheekbones.

  “Josh,” I whispered. “We can’t—”

  “We can, and I am. Over a decade is long enough to wait.” His lips brushed mine, and I was lost. I always knew the second I got a taste, I would be powerless against him. My hands slid around his tapered waist as our kiss caught fire. His tongue made long sweeps inside my mouth, drawing moans and whimpers from the back of my throat. A lifetime of loving him and missing him poured out and into that kiss. Yes, I still loved him. I never stopped. My fingertips glided over his torso as his body trembled under my touch. Light caresses became frantic as he fisted my hair and I clutched the material of his shirt so hard I ripped off a button. Josh’s lips were new and familiar all at once. His scorching kisses were soothing; relief flooding my system as the one thing I’d wanted all my life was finally in the palm of my hand. My body burst with both excitement and peace. The dichotomy of emotions exhausted me. Josh held me up as my knees almost gave out under me.

  We pulled apart panting. A goofy smile spread on his lips before he pulled me into his chest.

  “I can’t come back from that. I don’t want to share your kisses with Scott or anyone else. They’re mine, like the rest of you.” Josh pulled back and tapped my chin. “Same as I’m all yours. I’ve been yours since we were kids. I didn’t deserve you then—and I probably still don’t.”