Christmas in the City II

by Samantha Chase

  “Josh, that’s not—” Josh laid his finger against my lips and shook his head.

  “But I belong with you. Even in the darkest times, all the fights and shitty decisions, that’s the one thing I knew with absolute certainty.” He shut his eyes and lifted his face to the sky, then gave me a heroic smile. “Let’s get back inside. We paid good money for steak dinners and we aren’t doing that well this year to throw them away.” He let out a sad chuckle as he brought my hand to his lips. His mouth opened to say something, but it shut again as he led me inside.

  I sat beside him and scraped my steak back and forth across my plate. The food wouldn’t go down as panic and turmoil burrowed into the pit of my stomach.

  Josh drove me home in silence. We pulled up in front of my building, neither of us looking in the other’s direction or saying a word.

  “Good night, Josh.” I reached for the door handle but he pulled me back by my other arm and planted a closed-mouth, but lengthy kiss on my lips. He pulled away and feathered his hand down my cheek.

  “Good night, Cupcake. Thanks for coming.”

  “You’re welcome,” I whispered into the night air as I slid out of the truck.

  I ran upstairs to my apartment and changed into my favorite flannel pajamas. I usually saved them for sickness and sadness. Judging by the tears flowing down my cheeks and queasiness in my belly, tonight qualified as both. Josh kissed me—both times—but my more than willing participation made me ill. All the same, I didn’t regret it. I wasn’t ready to face what that meant.

  I dug my phone out of my bag and plugged it in. There were two missed calls and a voicemail from Scott.

  Hey babe. It feels like I haven’t heard your voice all week. I miss it. I miss you. It’s been a rough patch for us, but the New Year will to be amazing. I promise. I’ll make up for all the attention I should’ve been paying to you all along. God, I love you so much. I’ll call you tomorrow before we go to your parents’ house. Sweet dreams.

  Through the blur of tears, I checked the time of Scott’s call. A little over an hour ago, right around the time I was lip locked with Josh on the balcony.

  Oh God, what was I doing? No matter which choice I made, I was going to break someone’s heart. The only thing I knew for sure, one of the hearts would be mine.

  Happy holidays to me.

  Chapter 10

  Josh

  “It’s so great to see you!” Mrs. Ryan flung her arms around my neck. “You look so good.”

  Taken aback by Brianna’s mother’s warm welcome, any words I could offer in reply lodged in the back of my throat. I thought for sure they’d bid me good fucking riddance the day I left for boot camp. The whole damn borough knew everything about me, all the trouble I’d gotten into and why I was sent away. Granted she was the same woman who baked me my own walnut-less batch of brownies when we were kids because of my nut allergy and invited me into her home this Christmas Eve, but her reaction surprised me. I wouldn’t have wanted someone like my troublemaking teenage self anywhere near my daughter.

  “Sorry I’m early. Thanks for having me,” I whispered and gazed into her warm brown eyes.

  “Hey, Josh.” Mr. Ryan came up behind her and offered his hand. “Good to see you, son.”

  I gazed between them with a furrowed brow. Brianna’s dad had once, point blank, told me to stay far away from his daughter until I stopped acting like a “no good douchebag.” I tried my best, but Brianna never left me alone. She never gave up on me, and now I was returning that same favor.

  “I didn’t think you’d be so happy to see me, to be honest.”

  “We loved you,” Mr. Ryan grumbled. “It was the stupid shit you did we didn’t like. And now you stopped. So we’re good.” He slapped me on the back. “Want a beer? I’ll give you one instead of you and my daughter sneaking them from me.”

  I chuckled and nodded. He had me on that one. “Sure.” If I had to watch Brianna walk in on Scott’s arm, I’d need something to loosen me up. We’d kissed last night, and I hadn’t heard a peep from her since I dropped her off after dinner. After waiting a lifetime to feel her lips on mine, it was everything I knew it would be. Brianna was mine, she’d realize and choose me. She had to. For my own sanity I prayed it was sooner rather than later, like before New Year’s. But I’d be patient, and wouldn’t bash Scott’s face in for touching my girl tonight.

  “Hey everyone! Merry Christmas!” Scott’s voice bellowed in from the front doorway along with the frigid air. His wide grin fell as soon as he laid eyes on me. Brianna fidgeted with the buttons on her coat as she offered me a sheepish smile.

  “Hello, Josh. Brianna mentioned her parents invited you over tonight.”

  I plastered on a tight smile as I shook his hand.

  “Hi, Scott.” I squeezed his hand as a smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth. He could visit my shop and threaten me all he wanted. I wasn’t going anywhere. And he knew it.

  Scott sauntered away and Brianna stayed behind. Her eyes raked over me as she gave me a nervous smile.

  “Glad you came, Josh.”

  I strutted up to her and enveloped her in my arms. I felt Scott’s eyes searing into me and didn’t give a single shit. My lips found her forehead and left a long, lingering kiss that made her take in a sharp breath.

  “Me too, Cupcake,” I whispered into her silky hair. I dropped my gaze to hers and we both went silent. This was stupid. Anyone within a ten-mile radius could recognize the attraction pulsating between us. Her hands grabbed my arms as if she didn’t know whether to push me away or pull me closer. C’mon, Bri. Stop fighting me.

  “Hey, Bri, what can I get you to drink, babe?” Babe. Christmas Eve was shaping up to be nothing more than an all-night pissing contest.

  “Glass of wine would be great. Thanks, Scott.” Scott turned to pour a glass of Pinot, but not before giving me a quick scowl.

  Brianna crossed her arms over her chest as she made her way into the living room and sat on the far end of the couch next to her mother. I was crowding her right along with Scott, and I didn’t want that. I resolved to back off, if only for this evening.

  “It may snow tonight. I can’t remember the last white Christmas in New York,” Mrs. Ryan blurted out. I guessed the tension in the room didn’t only make the three of us uncomfortable as all hell. “Can’t beat that, right?”

  “Oh, I think I can.” Scott’s mouth spread in a large grin as he stalked to where Brianna sat on the couch. He reached into his back pocket and knelt down on one knee before her. Oh. Fuck. No.

  “Help me make this the best Christmas we’ve ever had. Marry me, Bri.” Scott opened the box and rubbed Brianna’s knee.

  The color drained from her face at the same time bile rose to the back of my throat. She couldn’t say yes. We didn’t get this far for her to get engaged right in fucking front of me on Christmas.

  “Scott . . . we never talked about this.” Her eyes darted from the ring to Scott to me, speared in place on her parents’ carpet as I awaited her answer along with Scott.

  Scott laughed and shrugged. “What’s there to discuss? We’ve been together a long time. This is the next step; you shouldn’t be so surprised.”

  Brianna gazed over her shoulder at her parents. Her mother’s expression was undefinable, but judging by the tick in Mr. Ryan’s jaw, I assumed he was never asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

  “C’mon, Bri. Say you’ll marry me.” Scott rubbed her thigh, but instead of relaxing her, Brianna looked like she fell deeper into shock.

  “No.” The word fell from my lips before I could think about it. It was a firm no way in hell no. Four pairs of eyes turned their widened gazes to me.

  “No?” Scott laughed. “I don’t think I asked you.”

  “You only asked her because you know she’s slipping right through your fingers. She loves me, so she’s not going to marry you.”

  Brianna popped off the couch. “Josh, please—
”

  Scott huffed as he stood from the floor. “I told you. Stay the hell away from her.”

  “You told him to stay away from me? What?” Brianna glared at Scott. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “He came to the shop to tell me I was confusing you and stay away from you. That he would dig up everything I did before I left and tell you if I didn’t comply.”

  Brianna squinted her eyes as she shook her head. “You had no right to do that. You’re not my parent who chooses who I do or don’t speak to,” she sneered at Scott and got an eye roll in return.

  “Brianna, are you serious? Look what he’s doing right now. He came back for you, but you were already taken. He uses your little history together to play on your sympathies.” Scott looked me over with a snicker. “You’re the same low life you probably were when you and Brianna were kids. You’re just a low life with a job now. Stop kidding yourself that you have any kind of a future with her.”

  Brianna pushed on Scott’s sweater covered chest and he stumbled back a step. “Stop it. Look, we need to talk about this—”

  “Talk about what?” I yelled louder than I meant to. “You’re going to kiss me and then get engaged to him the next day?”

  Scott pushed past Brianna to lunge at me. “You kissed my fiancé? You fucking asshole!” Brianna’s dad stepped between us to push us apart.

  “The two of you need to get hold of yourselves for Christ’s sake,” Mr. Ryan roared as he gazed between us.

  “No, what you both need to do is leave. Now.” Brianna’s breath quickened as she glared at us both.

  “Babe, come on.” Scott reached for her arm but she flinched it away.

  “Cupcake—” Brianna’s head jerked in my direction, murder in her eyes. Us fighting over her didn’t do anything but piss her off.

  “Fine. What I need to do is get the hell out of here. I’m sorry, Mom and Dad, but this . . . I can’t stay here. I’ll spend Christmas by my fucking self.” Brianna let out a long sigh as she wrapped her scarf around her neck and grabbed her purse.

  “Language, Brianna!” Mrs. Ryan gasped.

  “Sorry, Mom.” Brianna stormed out the door with Scott hot on her heels.

  I grabbed my jacket and ran out behind them. Scott screamed her name, but Brianna wouldn’t turn around. Sure enough, snow fell from the sky the second Brianna made it across the street. So much for a magical white Christmas.

  “Stop and talk to me!” Scott yelled as he caught up to Brianna and grabbed her arm. I stayed behind on her parents’ front porch, not having a clue how any of this would play out.

  “Now you want to talk? We talked about marriage once. Once! Over a year ago at Mia’s wedding. You called her husband a poor bastard and laughed. Not a word since. Last year, you acted like I was losing my mind expecting to get engaged. Now, you come to my parents’ house with a ring on Christmas and it’s a foregone conclusion I’ll say yes? Why should you ask me how I feel about our future? Josh is right, you proposed because you felt cornered.”

  “Bri,” Scott pleaded as he raked his hands through hair. “That’s not—”

  “And that isn’t something I’d ever say yes to. I’m not sure you’d have even thought about it if Josh wasn’t around.”

  Scott’s hands fell to his sides in defeat. His gaze fell to the frosting of new powder on the concrete and didn’t utter a word in response.

  Brianna scowled at me from over Scott’s shoulder and stalked toward me. We stood chest to chest as she leveled her eyes at me. “Do you know how long I loved you?” Her eyes narrowed to slits and filled with tears. “Do you? So long that I don’t remember not loving you! I just didn’t have a label for it until I was a teenager.” She sniffled even though her nostrils flared. “You were everything to me. I watched you spiral out of control and it broke my heart. But what gutted me, what destroyed me, was when you told me to forget you.”

  “Cupcake—” Brianna lifted her hand and shook her head. She wasn’t done.

  “I managed to get you to write to me. Within those slips of paper over the years, you opened up and became my best friend again. The Josh I remembered. I was happy. But sad, too. Always sad because the boy I loved didn’t love me the same way. What choice did I have but to move on?” She shrugged.

  “I never wanted you to move on—”

  “But you never said that, did you? I was supposed to read your damn mind. Now, you’re here. With your hand holding, and Cupcake, and blinding kisses, and it’s my dream come true. But on your time, when you felt you were ready. It didn’t matter where I was in my life. You figured I’d drop everything for Josh Falco because I’m that pathetic and needy, right?” She crossed her arms over her chest as if she was erecting a barrier between us.

  “No, Bri. Never. I just . . . never thought I deserved you. I still don’t.”

  “That was my choice to make. And, as usual, you took my choice away.” She pointed at Scott behind her with her thumb. “Just like he did. But that ends now.”

  Brianna gazed at me and then back to Scott.

  “I choose me. Merry Christmas to you both.”

  Brianna trekked across the snow covered sidewalk, too enraged to remember she was afraid of icy streets. My eyes followed her until she disappeared around the corner.

  “Go,” Scott mumbled with his hands stuffed into his pockets. He let out a long sigh as he met my gaze. “Just make sure you take care of her, all right?”

  I nodded as Scott went back into the house. I didn’t choose her. I loved her. There was no choice to make. We belonged together.

  And I wasn’t about to leave her doorstep until I made her believe that.

  Chapter 11

  Brianna

  The liquor store around the corner of my apartment building was an eyesore with its neon yellow signage and the rum posters with half-naked models, but by the grace of God they were open—and had two bottles of wine with my name on them. All I needed was a straw.

  During my walk through the wind and snow, I tried to pinpoint what upset me the most. Was it Scott, who brazenly proposed in front of my parents, expecting me to say yes? After I got into my apartment, I realized as I fumbled through my drawer for a corkscrew that he didn’t even ask me. “Marry Me, Bri.” Like “Get me pepperoni, Bri.” A command, not a request. But Scott could have asked me on a carriage ride through Central Park—if they still had them—with violins and harps, and I still wouldn’t have said yes. A year ago, probably. But not now. Because now, he wasn’t who I wanted to marry.

  I wanted to marry Josh Falco. Arrogant, annoying, sexy as hell with lips of sin Josh Falco. My best friend whom I’ve been in love with my entire life, who loved me back even though he was too big of a jerk to say so. He stayed away “for my own good.” He didn’t tell me “for my own good.” People should’ve consulted me on “my own good.” I knew my every move, and nothing felt right or complete without Josh.

  I yanked my Grinch nightshirt over my head and moped into my living room. I sipped my plastic cup of wine as I cuddled into the corner of my couch. Everything on TV right now was too damn happy. I wanted a continuous loop of my beloved Grinch while his heart was still two sizes too small.

  My phone buzzed on my end table and I dropped my head into my hands. Josh had blown up my phone since I ran out of my parents’ house, but stopped about a half hour ago. In spite of myself, I glanced at the screen.

  Josh: Look under your front door.

  I groaned, but figured my Solo cup needed a refill anyway and trudged to the door to satisfy my misplaced curiosity. A white envelope peeked through under my door. It was the same kind of plain, no frills envelope Josh had mailed his letters in. Scott was right, those letters got more of a rise out of me than he ever did. Anger stirred in me once again, at how those letters were all Josh would give me of himself for years.

  I ripped the letter open and plopped in a seat at my dining room table to read.

  You�
��re the writer not me, so this probably isn’t all that good . . . but here goes.

  A boy meets a girl in kindergarten. She’s sweet and pretty and he wants to beat up anyone who makes her cry. And he does. She laughs and she gives him her lunch. They don’t know it yet, but they fall in love. For life.

  The boy grows up and he’s trouble. Scary trouble. But the girl doesn’t leave him. Even though she should. It’s because of her he’s not in jail or maybe even dead. One day, he has to leave her, and he hates it. He wants to tell her how much he loves her, and to wait for him, but he can’t do that. The best thing he could do is tell her to forget him. But she doesn’t.

  She writes him letters. Awesome, beautiful letters and it’s like he never left her. He comes up with a plan to come back, but when he does, she isn’t alone. He’s devastated but hopeful. They’re still in love and it’s finally their time.

  They both just need to take it.

  I told you it sucked, but I think it gets the point across. I love you. I’m so sorry I never told you. Please forgive me. I have a lifetime to make up to you. I’d like to start as soon as possible.

  It wasn’t until my tears dotted the paper that I realized I was crying. We did fall in love for life, but we’d wasted so much time. I wanted to start the rest of our lives as soon as possible, too.

  I ran to the door and opened it. Josh sat cross legged in my hallway, leaning against the wall that faced my apartment door. A grin split his mouth.

  “You never could stay mad at me, Cupcake.”

  “Stand up and kiss me, you big jerk.”

  He jumped up and pulled me into his arms before crushing his lips to mine. He backed me into my apartment and kicked the door closed behind him.

  “You always look sexy in Grinch shirts,” he murmured against my lips, and I burst out laughing.

  “So this is it.” I took his face in my hands as the smirk ran away from his face. “We’re finally together?”