Shady Oaks

by Jerry Boyd

  Jim replied, “I think you’re right, but it’ll be a whale of a job.”

  Ozzie went to the door, and held it open for a small parade. Taz picked them up, one by one, and put them in the attic. Ozzie left. Soon he came back with a small grav pallet to stack bricks on. Topper was frozen in concentration, apparently telling the small bots what to do. Soon enough, Taz began accepting bricks from the bots in the attic, and handing them to Ozzie for stacking. Jim shook his head. “These boys of yours change all the rules, Bob. A human crew would have to put down a temporary floor in the attic, rig lights, and still worry about falling through. These guys just get it done.”

  “I’d be lost without them, that’s for sure.”

  Topper spoke up. “Boss, I think there is a problem.”

  “What is it, Topper?”

  He showed us an image. The chimney was built open all the way to its foundation. At the bottom there were several items. It seemed someone had pulled out the stovepipe, and dropped some things in. Topper said, “Some of those things read as weapons, Boss.”

  Jim said, “Can you zoom the image right here, please?”, as he pointed.

  The curly end of a straightened wire hanger came into focus. Jim commented, “I didn’t think somebody would hide things without a way to get them back. Scan around, please. See if there are more wires like this.”

  Now that Topper knew what to look for, he was able to find several hangers sticking up from the bottom of the chimney. He asked, “How should we proceed, Boss?”

  “See which wire goes to the item on top of the pile. Give us a good picture of it, so we can make sure it’s safe to pull on. We’ll go from there.”

  He zoned for a second, while he explained it to the bot in the chimney. Then we got a good view of the pile in the bottom. Sure enough, the stash was booby-trapped. The longest, easiest to access wire was looped through the pin of a hand grenade. I spoke as calmly as I could. “Topper, don’t move anything until you understand what needs to happen. Are we clear?”

  “Yes, Boss. What is it?”

  “An explosive device. Can you get a closer look at it, without bumping the wire attached to it?”

  “Yes, Boss. May I move the bot now?”

  “Just be sure not to bump that wire.”

  The bot moved to the other side of the chimney and started down. When we got a good image, it was worse than I had feared. Whoever set this trap had replaced the cotter pin with a smooth finish nail. It wouldn’t take much pull at all to ruin our whole day. Dingus spoke up. “I take it when that nail comes out of its hole, bad things happen?”

  “At the very least it’s going to make a heck of a mess inside the wall. As loose as that brickwork is, it will probably throw bricks through the wall at us. Not how I want to spend my day.”

  “Could we hold the lever in place with mounting foam? Would that keep it safe?”

  “It would. Topper, does the bot in the chimney have any mounting foam?”

  “No, Boss.” Ozzie left again. Soon he was back with a few small cans. He handed one to Taz, who passed it into the attic. Topper asked, “Boss, please show me exactly what needs to be immobilized.”

  “Can you zoom in?”

  He did. I showed him the pin, and said, “This can’t be allowed to come out of its hole.”

  The bot covered the top of the grenade in mounting foam, holding the pin in place. I showed him the spoon. “This needs to be secured to the rest of the grenade, so that it cannot fly off.”

  He asked, “You mean this lever here needs to be securely attached to the main body of the device?”

  “That’s right. Do you have enough foam?”

  “We can always pass another can down. It won’t leave a weak spot between applications.”

  “Okay, go ahead.”

  Once the spoon was safed, I asked “Does that bot have a way to gently cut the wire attached to the pin?”

  Topper replied, “It has what you call a laser, strong enough to do the job.”

  “Can it part the wire quickly enough that the heat doesn’t travel down the wire?”

  “It can. Should it proceed?”

  “Yes.”

  I knew I could trust Topper and the other bots. But a high power laser next to explosives didn’t make that easy. The small bot cut the wire in tiny nips, letting it cool between laser blasts. It finally parted, and everyone in the room who could breathe, did.

  I said, “Okay, Topper. That bot needs to get a secure hold on the grenade and bring it out to Taz. No passing hand to hand.”

  “Okay if I foam it to the bot, Boss?”

  “That would be fine.”

  The bot sprayed more foam, and stuck its belly in it before it hardened. We watched as the rest of the team helped it up to the attic, and it walked over to Taz’s waiting hand. I said, “Taz, hand it to Ozzie, please.”

  He did, gently. “Ozzie, please come with me.”

  I held the door for Ozzie as we left the house. I stopped at the shop, while Ozzie waited outside. Once I had some pliers, electrical tape, and an assortment of Cotter pins, we went on out to the field. I found a small hole the bot could fit in. “Put it down in the hole, please.” Ozzie did. “Do we have solvent with us?”

  “No, Boss.”

  “Could you get a can, please?”

  “Be right back, Boss.”

  Topper showed up while Ozzie was gone. “What now, Boss?”

  “When Ozzie gets back with the solvent, we’ll give it to the little bot. By the way, his name is to be Odie, when you get the chance to paint it on.”

  “You mean you don’t intend to sacrifice him?”

  “Not if I can help it.”

  “You are a good Boss!”

  “He’s part of the team. After he has the solvent, we’ll back away, and he needs to set that thing on the ground before he sprays it loose. Once he’s loose, he needs to back away gently, giving us a good camera angle on it before he leaves. Any questions?”

  “Why are you going to so much trouble to save him?”

  “Why shouldn’t I? If that thing detonates, people will get curious about the noise. We don’t need curious people poking around.”

  Ozzie got back and gave the solvent can to Odie. He, Topper, and I backed away and got behind cover. I told Topper, “Now, please.”

  He brought up a display so that I could see what was happening. The grenade came free, and he backed up. The pin was still secure. I asked Topper, “Could he finish taking the foam off before he leaves?”

  “Sure, Boss.”

  We were left with a good old pineapple grenade, just like in the movies. Odie came back where we were hiding. I said, “You guys stay here. If it goes off you can carry me to an autodoc.”

  Ozzie said, “Don’t let that happen, Boss. We need you.”

  I headed back to the hole. I got out the electrical tape, and wrapped the spoon so it couldn’t come away from the body of the grenade. Excessively. When even Murphy couldn’t complain, I cut the roll loose. Then I found the biggest of my assorted Cotter pins that would go in the hole when I removed the nail. I laid my pliers in a handy spot. Taking a firm grip on it, I pulled the nail out, and wiggled the Cotter pin in. Then I picked up my pliers, and bent the ends over. It was as safe as it was going to get. I collected my tools and got up. I said, “All clear, boys. It’s safe now.” I put my tools and supplies away, and left the grenade in a drawer in the little shop that came with the place. I locked it up when I left. I commed John. “Hi John, how’s your day going?”

  “Not as good as I had hoped. Apparently, I was supposed to ask permission before turning the boys loose on Jane’s car. What’s up?”

  “We were cleaning out an old chimney to make a place for my gun safe. We found a pineapple, and not the kind from Dole’s. It’s safed. But I was hoping you might know someone who would like to take it off my hands.”

  “I’ll ask around. What was it doing there?”

  “Booby trap, on a stash. Got to g
et back in the house, so we can find out what was worth the trouble.”

  “Talk to you later, then. I’m doing steaks tonight, if you want to come over.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it. Bye.”

  We went back in. Dingus said, “Still have all your fingers, I see.”

  “I just hope there was only the one trap. Taz, send Odie back in, please.”

  Dingus asked, “Odie?”

  “It seemed like the best way to pronounce EOD, for Explosive Ordinance Disposal.”

  Soon enough, Odie was back in the chimney. The next item on the pile was an automatic pistol. I showed Topper where the trigger was, and told him as long as none of the bots touched that, it would be safe to pass it out. Taz handed it to me when he got it. I cleared it, and handed it to Dingus. He held the slide back and looked down the barrel. “Poor baby, she was put away dirty. This barrel is no good.”

  We went through several more pistols, each loaded, each getting a lament from Dingus over their poor condition. I got the feeling Dingus had a project. The last item was a metal box. Odie had to have help to get it up the chimney. When Taz handed it to me, I asked Dingus, “Can you scan this? If there’s another trap, this is where it would be.”

  Dingus worked a little bit, and said, “You’re right, Bob. We better take that outside.”

  I replied, “Is it just a bomb, or is there a safe way to open it?”

  “Not a bomb. Just a couple of shotgun shells rigged to fire at whoever opens it.”

  “You wouldn’t build a thing like that without a way to get it open safely.”

  “I wouldn’t. We don’t know what kind of loony put this thing together.”

  “Topper, could you make a display out of the scans, please?”

  He built us a hologram of the trap. I looked for a minute before I found what I was looking for. There was a hole bored through the working parts, where a wire could be inserted, freezing the mechanism. I looked at the outside of the box, and found the hole concealed in a decoration. Curiously enough, it looked to be sized for hanger wire. I picked up one of the hangers that had been passed out of the chimney. “Odie, could you put me a nice blunt point on this?” He took it and set to work. I grabbed another hanger. Odie gave me back the first one, nice and rounded off. “Thank you, Odie.” Topper spoke up. “He is not equipped to speak, but he says you are welcome, Boss.”

  I took the box and the two hangers to the field. Dingus came along. I inserted Odie’s pin. “Dingus, can you scan again and make sure that’s where it needs to be?”

  He did. “It looks right to me, Bob. I still wouldn’t trust it.”

  “Don’t plan to.”

  I bent a hook in the other hanger, and laid down in front of the box, as far away as I could get and still reach the latch with my hook. Dingus got clear. I popped the latch. The lid came up slightly, but didn’t open. The trap didn’t discharge. I got up, and walked to the side of the box. I hooked the lid, and pulled it open. The trap stayed safe. Inside the box were many things. A bag that might hold coins. Stacks of bills. Some letters and other paperwork. Dingus came up. I asked, “How do we go about pulling this thing’s teeth?”

  “Looks like you can unscrew the barrels and pull the shells out.” He tried. One came loose, but the other was stuck. “This one needs pliers to get loose, Bob.”

  “I’m not crazy about trying that. Any other ideas?”

  He thought a minute. “If we took the shot and powder out of that shell, the primer wouldn’t be enough of a pop to hurt anything.”

  We emptied the box, using the bag of coins for a paperweight to keep the letters and stuff from blowing away. Dingus opened the end of the shell with his knife. We turned the box over and dumped out the shot. Dingus had to tinker some more to get the powder to come out. Then we set the box back upright, and backed away. Dingus knelt and pulled out the safety wire. Pop! We both sighed, and put the loot back in the box. Once we got back in the house, we looked at what we had. The bag was full of gold Eagles and Double Eagles. There was a lot of money in bills, but they were all old enough to be hard to spend. The papers looked like a project for another day. I had Odie cut the safety wire down short enough that it wouldn’t be in the way, and cocked the trap so I could close the box. Then Jim told us what we had missed. “They finished up the brickwork while you were outside. The chimney base isn’t big enough for the safe to sit on, but we can pour around it, and make it work. We’ll have to open up the hole in the floor to do that, of course. They’re getting ready to cut through the wall. If it goes like I want it to, we can use the piece they cut out for the door.”

  Topper was holding the piece that the other bots were cutting loose. The smaller bots were using him for scaffolding to get where they needed to cut. It came loose, and he pivoted to bring it out. He took it out of the way, and started working on coloring the cut edges to camouflage them. Ozzie came in with a smaller version of the epoxy granite machine. I said, “Looks like they’re through the hard part. You fellas want lunch?”

  Jim said, “I could eat.”

  Dingus chimed in, “Me too.”

  I got out sandwich stuff, and some chips. The ladies had kept things stocked. I wished I was keeping up that well. We sat down and dug in. When he came up for air, Dingus said, “Dee said something last night about me going hunting. I always used to hunt from horseback, but Sunshine is too loud for that.”

  “You saying we need to fix fence, so you can have a Quarter Horse around?”

  “I might do that, after we get settled in at the other place. I was really wondering if there was such a thing as a quiet motorcycle?”

  “There are some electric motorcycles around. With our battery technology, they’re not as practical as gasoline, yet. If the boys could scrounge up a little power core, and hide it in the battery case, you’d be set.”

  “You’re a wonder, Bob! Idle speculation to done deal in one jump.”

  “With the amount of money and tech around this joint, it takes a big problem to slow things down. I’m just directing traffic.”

  I pulled out my comm. “Topper, do you have time to talk?”

  “Yes, Boss. What I’m doing doesn’t take much processing.”

  “Dingus likes his motorcycle, but he’d like something quieter to go hunting on. Can you find the best electric bike for dirt and street, and get it delivered for him?”

  “Sure, Boss. Looks like the Alta Motors Redshift EXR is what he would want. Do you know how he would like it painted?”

  “Ask him to be sure. Do we have any small power cores you could hide where the battery is supposed to go?”

  “I’ll have to check for sure once it gets in, but I think we have just the thing, if the housing is big enough. Okay to pay extra for overnight?”

  “Go for it, but it still probably won’t show up till Monday.”

  Topper was quiet for a moment. “Oh, I see. Sunday is your day of rest. That is why paintball comes on Sundays?”

  “Sure is.”

  “Need anything else, Boss?”

  “Nothing you can help with, Topper. Talk to you later.”

  Taz came around the corner. “Mr. Bailey, could you come answer a question for us, please.”

  Jim got up and went in the other room. Dingus said, “Those bots love their work, don’t they?”

  “That they do. Thanks again for unlocking their personalities.”

  “You would have done it.”

  “When I figured out it was possible. Knowing me, that could have been a year or two.”

  Jim came back. “They just wanted to know about the header over the door. They’ve got it on the run, now.”

  John commed me. “Bob Wilson, how can I make your world better today?”

  “Take a long vacation? Fail to come up with any bright ideas for a week or two?”

  “What do ya need, John?”

  “Could you and Dingus come over and give Max and me a hand? I misunderstood, all of Jane’s people are coming in this afte
rnoon.”

  “Jim says the boys have got our project in hand. We’ll be right over. Need us to bring anything?”

  “Nope. See you soon.”

  I hung up and looked at Jim. “You got this for awhile? John needs help at his place.”

  “I can sit and watch those boys work all day, Bob. I’ll call if we find any more explosives.”

  “See you later, then.” I looked at Dingus. “Saddle up, John needs us.”

  There was still lumber in my truck, so we grabbed Nikki’s rig and headed to John’s.

  I parked out of the way, and we went to see what we could do to help. When we stepped inside, John said, “Good, you’re here. Grab the stepladder and the staple gun and follow me.” He had a huge load of sheets. We followed him downstairs. He said, “I’d like to hang privacy curtains around all these ‘docs. We need to leave room to get undressed in front.” I got up the ladder, and Dingus handed me a sheet. I asked, “We’re gonna need more staples. Got some?” John laid down the rest of the sheets and went to find them. Max came downstairs fiddling with his watch. Dingus piped up, “What’s wrong, Reggie? John say something you didn’t understand?”

  “No, Dad. I’m trying to see if any of the cases coming in are going to need special programming for the ‘docs.”

  “Having trouble converting their disease names into Galactic?”

  “I am. The translator is good for most things, but when things get this technical, it’s not much good.”

  John came back down with more staples. I said, “You need to take a breath, John. Slow down, we’ll get this. Max needs help programming the ‘docs. That’s where you’re most needed right now.”

  “Thanks, Bob. Trying to do too many things at once.”

  “You’d do the same for me.”

  We got the curtains hung, and John got Max squared away on what the Galactic names of people’s ailments were. After that, it didn’t take long to get everything programmed. John took out a marker and wrote each patient’s name on the ‘doc that was programmed for their particular disease. Once we had prepped all we could, we went back upstairs. I asked, “Are three ‘docs going to be enough?”