Shady Oaks

by Jerry Boyd

  “It’s so nice to have friends.”

  Dee said, “C’mon, Bob, we only tease ‘cause we like you.”

  “I know. I’m just out of sorts with Nikki out of town.”

  Greg asked, “Where did she go?”

  “She had to help a friend of hers with a problem. She’ll be back in a few days.”

  “Mommy says it’s okay to miss people. It just means you love them. I miss my Daddy.”

  “I’m sure he misses you too.”

  “He’s in Texas. In the permanent basin. He told me about how they go out to catch the ice cream truck after work.”

  Jane spoke up, “It’s the Permian Basin, Greg. You can say it right if you try.”

  “Sorry, Mom.”

  We finished eating, and played some more Frisbee. Dingus gave Greg a ride on Sunshine. I swear his grin touched his ears. It got dark, so we went in and played video games. Jane said, “Well, Greg, it’s time we got home.”

  “Aww, Mom!”

  “Tell everyone goodbye. It’s not like you won’t see them again.”

  After a considerable amount of hugging, and noogies, they headed out to their car. We heard Jane try to start it with no luck. I looked at John. He didn’t seem to know what was going on either. Jane came back in the house. “Dang thing won’t start. I don’t know what to do. John spoke up. “Take mine. We’ll have the boys look at it, and I’ll bring it to you in the morning.” He pulled out his keys, and tossed them to her.

  “Are you sure? That seems like a lot of trouble.”

  John replied, “No trouble at all. See you tomorrow.”

  She had to adjust the seat and mirrors, but soon they were on their way. I spoke up. “I thought you were busted when she saw that little bot going back from disabling her car. I didn’t know the little ones could do camo.”

  John replied, “What are you talking about, Bob? You mean that wasn’t your idea?”

  I pulled out my comm. “Topper, you can come and get the Toyota now. Nice trick with the little bot, but you really should have cleared it with John or me.”

  “Sorry, Boss. It seemed like the easiest way to make John’s plan happen. We didn’t think it would be a problem.”

  “It’s not, I would just have liked to have known beforehand.”

  “We’ll try to keep you in the loop better, Boss.”

  “Thanks, Topper. Do you need any help getting it to the shop?”

  “Think we’ve got it, Boss. You need anything else?”

  “Nope. Talk to you in the morning.”

  “Bye.”

  I heard Jane’s car start, and looked out just in time to see a ‘squirrel’ standing on the dash working the steering wheel. John said, “So it was all the boys’ plan? You didn’t suggest anything?”

  “Nossir, I fail to have any part in this. It’s just you and the boys. Looks of things, you’ll have a time convincing Greg of that, though.”

  “He likes him some Bob.”

  “Sorry about that. I surely didn’t mean to crap in your oatmeal.”

  “Just Bob, being Bob.”

  Tina spoke up. “What just happened? I saw it all, but it doesn’t make any sense.”

  I said, “Dee, you’re up!”

  Dee looked mean at me. “That’s our Bob. Big Brass Ones till you have to explain a delicate subject. Tina, John is trying to make a good impression on Jane. Bob has already impeded his efforts by being the one who thought to put young Greg in the autodoc. John got Bob’s crew to rebuild Jane’s worn out car, but he was stuck on how he was going to get custody of the vehicle long enough for that to happen. Topper and the boys decided to help by disabling the car, causing Jane to leave it here. They have now absconded with it, and by morning it will be good as new. Any questions?”

  “Why does John wish to make a good impression? Isn’t Jane already with someone?”

  “He left when Greg got sick. If he was still interested in her, he would be sending her money from his high-paying oilfield job. Technically, they are still married, but that’s just because Jane doesn’t have money to hire a lawyer with all of Greg’s medical bills.”

  “Thanks, Dee. Earth customs are difficult, for me.”

  John’s comm beeped. He looked at it, then at Tina, “Your less injured man is ready to be awakened. Do you mind coming along so he sees a familiar face when he wakes up?”

  “I can do that, yes. Where will we be staying tonight?”

  “Bob’s pretty much got a full house. Why don’t you grab what you need and stay at my place. You, too, Mike.”

  I spoke up. “Their saucer is ready to fly. Why don’t you take it to your barn, that way they’ll have it when they’re ready to leave.”

  “It’s a Bob plan, there must be a catch, but it sounds good. I must be getting old.”

  “Thanks, John, you’re a real good friend. Call me when you need a ride in the morning, and I’ll come and get you.”

  Max got up and left with them as they headed out to the barn. He said, “Thanks, Bob. Your chili is always worth the trip.” I had the bots close up after them. “That sure is handy, Dingus. Thanks for showing me.”

  “No problem, Bob.”

  “I think we’ll go patrol Snitzelvania, and then I’m going to bed.”

  “See you in the morning.”

  No vile saucers or other dogs had made off with Snitz’ outdoors, so we took care of business and called it a day.

  Regardless of the fact we had checked thoroughly the night before, another inspection was required at sunup. I began thinking about a doggy door. I started coffee on my way out. We found everything in good order, but of course Snitz had to demonstrate to the world that Jane’s car belonged to him, since it was back in the driveway.

  I went back in for a cup of coffee, and took it to the porch. My phone rang. “Bob Wilson, good morning.”

  “That’s yet to be seen, Bob. Was your crew able to get my car going?”

  “Yep. Got it squared away. John’s going to bring it to work for you, I think.”

  “What was wrong with it?”

  “I haven’t looked at the report, yet. I’m sure it’s at least as good as new, whatever it was.”

  “Why do I think you’re not telling me everything?”

  “Has a lot to do with catching me before I’ve had my coffee, I’d imagine.”

  “If you say so. I think you cooked something up.”

  “Not me. If John’s got something going, he didn’t tell me about it.”

  “What brand are those extended wear contacts you use, Bob? They must be really good.”

  “Believe what you want to believe. Do you honestly think either John or I would pull something to harm you?”

  “Well, no. But this just feels awfully convenient, to me.”

  “Soon enough, you’ll know for sure. Worrying about it isn’t going to accomplish much.”

  “I guess you’re right. Talk to you later, Bob.”

  “Later on. Bye.”

  I called John. “Good morning. Jane’s antsy about her ride. She called me already. I tried to play it off, but I hadn’t had my coffee yet. Crashed and burned.”

  “I’ve not got another issue, that I have to fail to take care of, this morning, Robbie. Can you drop the car off and catch a ride back?”

  “Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there. Today he’s all healed up and wants to go home?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I’ll see if Dingus is up to follow me over.”

  “Thanks.”

  Joanna came onto the porch. “Something I could help with, Bob?”

  “Could you follow me over to John’s and bring me back?”

  “No problem.”

  I called John back. “On our way, where do you want it parked?”

  “Could you put it in the garage, please?”

  “If you open the door. I’m not gonna ding the bodywork.”

  “Let me know when you’re here.”

  “Stay o
n the line.”

  When I got in sight of John’s, I said, “Open wide.”.

  The garage door came up. I drove in, left it running, and walked to Joanna’s car. “Let’s get out of here.”

  She turned us around and headed out. “That was strange, even for you boys.”

  “Yes, it was.”

  “That’s it?”

  “I know more than I should. You shouldn’t know anything at all. You need to be happy with the fact you just helped out with a vital part of the organization.”

  “You don’t have a need to know, so I sure don’t, is that what you’re saying?”

  “It is.”

  “Sometimes being a part of this outfit is hard. I have a big old bump of curiosity, you know?”

  “Believe me, I understand. Pretty much anything else, I would tell you. This, I can’t. Not mine to tell.”

  “Dee said you’re an asshole sometimes. She was right. But I’ve yet to see you do it to hurt someone.”

  “Thanks for that. This is the first time I’ve ridden in this car. Did Ozzie give it enough power?”

  She punched it hard enough to sling it sideways, then brought it back. “What do you think?”

  I looked at her, grinning my fool head off. “Daddy like!”

  “When are you gonna let them breathe on something for you?”

  “Hadn’t even thought about it. Asked Ozzie about making the old freighter fly faster, but he said the airframe isn’t strong enough to take the thrust.”

  “Don’t you need an LS in your old pickup?”

  “I’ve always thought it was fun to drive that little four banger as hard as it can go, without having to worry too much.”

  “You’re an odd one, Bob.”

  We got back to the coffee before she got any more head shrinking done.

  Dee and Dingus were having a cup when we got back. Snitz needed pets, since he got left at home.

  Dingus spoke up.”You get Loverboy squared away, Bob?”

  “Much as I could. You have any idea when Private Crang is supposed to wake up?”

  He ran through some stuff on his watch. “Looks like this evening. Why do you ask, Bob?”

  “Things seem like they’re just happening, lately, without me being involved much. I just wanna know what’s going on around me.”

  “You have a good crew, Bob. Don’t worry too much.”

  “I also have a government that would be more than happy to strip this place down to toothpicks if they found out about it.”

  “You also have enough saucers to load everyone up and fly them out if it comes to that. We could hold them off that long.”

  “You’re right. I just get blue when Nikki’s not around.”

  “What are you up to, today?”

  “I don’t know. Can’t think of anything pressing I need to do.”

  “That won’t do. An idle Bob is a worried Bob.”

  “You got that right. I guess I could get the boys to put in my safes. They’ve been laying in the shop since I moved.”

  “Mind if I hang around?”

  “Dee doesn’t need you at the Oaks?”

  “She’s got it running smooth. The first of Jane’s new crew starts today.”

  “Doesn’t that mean you’ll need to be at John’s, when the dependents come in?”

  “That’s not supposed to happen till this afternoon, and John said he had time to deal with it.”

  I looked at a doorway. “Dingus, were you around when this house was built?”

  “A round? Nope, but I helped square it up.”

  Dee said, “Ding-us, zing-us.”

  I replied, “Didn’t he though? What I wanted to know, this place was put up with full dimension lumber, wasn’t it?”

  “Yep. The fella who ran the sawmill was a drunk. We had to pick through the lumber, just to get enough the same width to build a wall.”

  “So buying anything to fit is gonna be pretty much impossible?”

  “You could measure, and get a mill to cut it to order, but that doesn’t sound like the Bob way.”

  “It would take some time to do all that. I wanted to be done when Nikki gets back.”

  “So what do you figure to do?”

  “Buy oversize, and rip to fit.”

  Dee said, “Last night was chili night, you should be all set to rip one.”

  I replied, “I need more coffee. You two are awake.”

  I got another cup, and commed Topper. “Hey, Topper, you boys busy today?”

  “No, Boss. Do you have a project?”

  “Small one. You know those safes we took out of the other house? They really should get installed in this house.”

  “There’s a small issue with that, Boss.”

  “What’s that?”

  “We didn’t bring home all the carpentry tools from Shady Oaks. It sounded like we were going to be doing more work there.”

  “I have to go to town after lumber, anyway. Do you need Jim to supervise?”

  “Mr. Bailey? That would be great! He’s almost as good to work for as you, Boss.”

  “I’ll bring him too.”

  I turned to Dee. “Okay if I bust Jim Bailey out of your jail for the day, Sheriff?”

  “Of course it’s okay, asshole.”

  Dingus spoke up. “I think you’ve got an admirer there, Sheriff.”

  I was so shocked I almost missed my line. “No, Mongo straight.”

  I turned to Dingus. “Been hitting that culture pack hard, I see.”

  “Have to, to keep up around here.”

  Snitz and I jumped in the Sonoma and headed to town. I figured tools on top of boards would work better than boards on top of tools, so we went to the lumber yard first. Then we went to Shady Oaks. Snitz went to see his friends. They got out a Frisbee, and he was in dog heaven. Leann was on the desk. She went to school with Rena and me. “Hey, Bob! Dee warned me about you and that furry rocket of yours. You here for Mr. Bailey, then?”

  “If he’s not too busy. Mind if I go check?”

  “Nope.”

  I walked down to his room and knocked on the doorframe. “Hi Jim, how’s it going today?”

  “I’m above ground, it’s a fine day.”

  “Feel up to supervising us idiots doing home improvement?”

  “Don’t know any idiots that work with you, Bob. Come down to it, you’re smarter than the average bear yourself.”

  “That could be, but I don’t know squat about altering the framing in a hundred year old house built out of full dimension oak.”

  “Lordy! You don’t do nothing easy, do you? That stuff will be hard as rock. You sure you don’t want a stonemason?”

  “You’ll do fine. How’s Molly doing?”

  “Everybody likes her. But she doesn’t like Frisbee.”

  “Snitz is here. May have to leave him for the day, so folks can get caught up on their Frisbee.”

  “He sure has energy.”

  “He’s still a pup. Molly has some miles on her.”

  “That’s true. Let me change clothes and I’ll be ready to go.”

  “That’s fine. I’ve still got to load some tools. Do you know where the boys left them?”

  “There’s an extra storage closet up by the desk. They’re in there. You’ll have to get the key from whoever’s got the desk today.”

  “No problem there, she’s an old friend. See you in a bit.”

  I backed my truck up to the door, and got the key to the closet. It took a few trips, but I got everything aboard. By the time I finished, Jim was standing at the desk, waiting for me to sign him out. I went to sign, and Leann said, “We’re really only supposed to let the residents go with responsible adults, you know?”

  “Could you make an exception just this once?”

  “Only if Mr. Bailey promises to keep you in line, Bobby Apples.”

  He spoke up. “Keep him in line? I’m an old man. This here is Bob Wilson, a certified force of nature. Ain’t no way, Ma’am.”
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br />   Leann replied, “At least he knows what he’s up against. Sign right here, Bob.”

  Dee came out of her office. “Oh, hi Bob, Jim. You two up to no good, I assume?”

  I replied, “Who, us? We’re sweet and insolent.”

  “Well, you’re half right.”

  She turned to Leann. “I’m going to be out for about three hours. Mr.Branham will be in soon, and Nurse Williams is around somewhere. If they can’t help, call me.”

  As we were all walking out, I asked, “Where you headed?”

  “Mr. Watley called. He has the paperwork on that place ready. He also said something about having papers for Mrs. Mayfield, and could I see that she got them.”

  “Sounds like we’re gonna have to hire a makeup artist.”

  “Could be. I’ll tell you what I find out tonight.”

  I called Snitz. He came over for pets, but he wanted to get back to his game. Jim had to help Molly get in the truck, and then he climbed in. When we got back, the boys were in dog camo, laying in the shade. Molly jumped down and ran over to the ‘pack’. Dingus stepped out on the porch. “Bob, I think I know where you want these, but look over what I’m thinking. Hi, Jim. You get rested up from the other day?”

  “Feeling great, Dingus. What possessed this loony to go cutting into hundred year old oak?”

  “Needs to put in his safes, he says.”

  We went in. Dingus pointed out a wall section in the master bedroom. “There used to be a chimney here. Best I can tell, they just built a wall over it, instead of taking it out and using the space. The cavity would be about right for your gunsafe.”

  “Sounds good. Just set it flush with the wall, then?”

  “If the boys cut carefully enough, I think we can make a secret door to hide it behind.”

  “James frikkin’ Bond. Taz will be psyched.”

  Dingus whistled, and the boys came inside. He explained what we wanted, and a little about how the cuts needed to be made. Topper said, “Is the inside of the cavity accessible?”

  Dingus replied, “It might be, from the attic.”

  “How would we gain access to the attic, sir?”

  Dingus walked to the closet. “It used to be right up here. Yep. Still is. Help me clean off these shelves, Bob.”

  Topper said, “That’s not needed, sir. One of the small bots can go up.” Taz walked to the front door and let one in. He followed it back, then picked it up and set it in the attic. Topper popped a display of what the little guy was seeing. Sure enough, there was an old chimney, broken back below the roofline. The bot navigated up the side of the chimney, and down inside. The brickwork looked fragile. It was hard to see much for all the cobwebs. I said, “I think we need to take that chimney apart from the top. Otherwise, it’s going to fall in, and probably break through a wall.”