First Down

by Paula Mabbel

  Tessa saw a flicker of his red hair appear behind the bar and she smiled softly as her old boss and friend approached her.

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Tess.” He said as his eyes burned with a caring warmth.

  “It has indeed.” Tessa agreed. “I need to ask you a favor.” She said quickly, because she was unsure about how much time she would have to converse with him.

  “What is it my dear?” He asked with a look of concern in his eyes.

  “Well, I’m sure by now you have heard the news of my husband’s passing.” Tessa said quietly.

  “That I have.” He said with a small tilt of his head.

  “Well, the other rumors are true too.” Tessa said, because she didn’t want to explain in great detail about the betrayal her husband had left for her beyond his grave.

  “I suspected so.” The Inn keeper said with a look of pity swelling in his eyes.

  “I ask not for your pity.” Tessa said firmly. “I only ask that I might have my old job back, so that I don’t end up on the streets or worse.” She looked at him with eyes that begged for a chance. She could feel her question hanging before them and she could tell from the look on his face that his answer was not to be what she had hoped.

  “I’m sorry Tess.” He said and his head slowly fell between left and right. “I have to think about the people who come in here and they don’t hold you in much favor.”

  “I understand.” Tessa said and then she turned to leave. She stopped when she felt his hand grip onto her shoulder and she turned back in surprise.

  “You can stay here if you like though.” He said. “You can pay me room and board, when you find yourself some work and then you don’t have to go to the streets.” He added.

  “It’s quite alright.” Tessa said pridefully, “I don’t expect to live for free.” She finished with her nose tilted slightly in the air and then she shook his hand off of her shoulder and made her way back to the door.

  Her stomach churned with worry when she stepped out into the fading light and realized that she had nowhere else to turn. The evening was dropping cold and the thick plumes of smoke coming from the boats on the Mississippi river were blocking out the little sunlight that was left. She shivered as she pulled her coat around her body and tried to think of a plan.

  “Excuse me.” A woman’s voice said from behind her.

  Tessa didn’t show any signs of hearing the woman. She was sure that she was only speaking to taunt her about her failed marriage and she had no interest in listening to the opinions of others.

  “Excuse me.” The woman said again.

  This time Tessa turned her eyes to the woman. She could hear warmth in the woman’s voice that led to Tessa’s guards dropping slightly. “What is it?” She asked sharply, but without the intention of doing so.

  “I’m sorry to bother you.” The woman said after flinching slightly at Tessa’s words.

  Tessa examined the woman for a moment. She was well dressed in a light green fitted dress that must have been specially made to fit her. She had dark brown hair that was pushed back with a clip into a bun on her head, but loose curls had fallen and were framing her delicate face.

  “I’m sorry, please pardon my rudeness.” Tessa said when she realized that woman was no threat to her.

  “It’s fine.” The woman said, shaking her head. “It’s quite understandable considering the day that you’re having.”

  “I understand then that you know who I am?” Tessa asked.

  “That I do.” The woman nodded.

  “Then might I be able to learn who you are in return?” Tessa asked curiously because she had never seen the woman around the city before, but the woman clearly knew her.

  “I’m Clara.” The woman said with a small smile that seemed to only lift up the right half of her lip. “And I have a proposition for you.”

  *******

  Tessa walked back onto the main road with Clara. There as promised was a carriage waiting for them and Tessa waited for Clara to climb in herself before following her. “What is your proposition?” Tessa asked when the carriage started to move down the street.

  “I know of your situation and I know of your character from the way you acted when you were offered charity.” Clara said.

  “I doubt that you really know much about either.” Tessa said before she could stop the words from coming out her mouth. She shot Clara an apologetic look and scolded herself internally for being so rude.

  “I know enough.” Clara said with a warm smile. “I earn my money through travelling the country and finding perfect matches.” She started to explain.

  “Perfect matches for what?” Tessa interrupted.

  “Perfect matches for hearts.” Clara said and her eyes glowed with purpose.

  “So you arrange marriages?” Tessa asked her.

  “I suppose you could say that.” Clara said with a small, mystifying tilt of her head. “But I like to think I do a little bit more than that. I don’t just arrange marriages based on value or worth, I find marriages based on what the person’s heart wants.” She said.

  “How does that even work?” Tessa asked her curiously.

  “I have clients who seek my services. I ask them about their needs and hopes for their marriage and then I scour the country, until I find them perfect other halves.” She said with a glistening smile that clearly showed that she loved what she did.

  “Are you married?” Tessa asked her.

  Clara looked surprised for a moment by Tessa’s question, but then she collected herself. “I’m not.” She said after a moment.

  “So, how do you suppose that you can match others if you’ve found no match for yourself?” Tessa asked her. She wasn’t meaning to be rude. She was simply curious to know how Clara might know what love looked like without finding it herself.

  “I was married.” Clara said and glimmer of pain shone in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, I did not mean to intrude.” Tessa said quickly. “You have no need to explain.”

  “It’s okay.” Clara said softly.

  It was in that moment that Tessa realized that she trusted Clara completely. The pain in her eyes was real, and if it had been Tessa’s pain to carry, she doubted very much that she would have been so willing to share it with anyone who might ask.

  “He passed away three years ago and he was the love of my life. I loved him so greatly in fact that the idea of remarrying seemed quite out the question. At first, after he’d left me, I didn’t know what to do with myself. The days just seemed to stretch out before me like an endless window of time that just wouldn’t leave me to rest. I was empty and cold and my life had no purpose to it anymore, so I had to make myself find one. I figured that love once made me happy and if I should have to live without it for the rest of my life, then surely I could help others find it and find happiness in that instead.” Clara explained with a soft voice.

  “That’s incredibly noble of you.” Tessa said. “You must have a very kind heart.”

  “I have a heart full of love.” Clara said and then her hand wrapped around a small gold locket that rested on her chest upon a long golden chain.

  Tessa said nothing, but she assumed that it held a memory of her husband who had passed. The carriage went on for some time with both women sitting in silence, before Tessa finally thought to break it once more.

  “I assume then that you believe I am a match for one of your clients?” She said quietly, so that her voice breaking the silence didn’t frighten Clara.

  “You assume correct.” She said with a smile.

  “Might I inquire about him?” Tessa asked and then she looked out of the window at the sun that was setting beyond the dusty horizon.

  “You might.” Clara said with a smile that was full of energy and out of place for such a time in the evening. “His name is Liam and he lives on a small ranch just over the border of Texas. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not the richest fella out there, but he’s certai
nly a true gent and I sense that you’d like that in a man.” Clara said.

  “I have no interest in money.” Tessa said with her eyes fixed on Clara’s.

  “I already know that. I knew that the moment you refused the Inn keeper’s charity at the tavern.” Clara said. “That’s why I knew that you would be perfect. Well, you’re also astonishingly beautiful and yet seem to carry a quick wit. I can assure you that those two qualities are not often found in the same girl.” Clara said warmly.

  “Are these things that Liam has asked for?” Tessa asked Clara?

  “Not exactly.” Clara said a little cryptically.

  “Then how do you know that he’ll be happy with me?” Tessa asked a little panic stricken over the idea of crossing over into Texas and then having no one and nowhere to turn to.

  “I just do.” Clara said with a dainty shrug of her shoulders.

  “I’m going to need a little bit more than that.” Tessa pushed.

  “Well, he only told me that he was searching for a wife who would love him completely, but I could tell from his personality that he was looking for a girl like you.” Clara said as though it was as simple as the rain falling from the sky.

  ******

  The carriage pulled up with a small jolt that sent both Clara and Tessa forward in their seats. Tessa was glad for the journey to be over though, as the country roads that had been their main route had been bumpy and had caused her a great deal of backache.

  She waited for Clara to leave the carriage first and then she followed her with her eyes wide open. The view was spectacular. It was like nothing she had ever seen before. She had grown up in the City of New Orleans and it was dense and cramped there. There air had always been thick with pollution from the river and the many factories. That wasn’t what she was seeing now though. In fact, the only thing she could see breaking the horizon was the small ranch, which she figured belonged to Liam and if she squinted, she was sure that a small town sat a few miles away.

  The ranch wasn’t very big, but it had been well looked after. The building had been made out of fine red timber that blended with the dusty earth that surrounded it. There was a small porch built onto the front of the house and Tessa could see three horses tied to a post at the side. She looked at Clara to take the lead and then followed her, as she approached the house.

  Tessa watched as Clara knocked on the door loudly, and then there was a moment of pause in between the knocks ending and footsteps walking towards the entrance. Tessa could feel her lungs holding in her breaths as she waited to see Liam for the first time. She wasn’t wholly sure that she bought into the concept of what Clara did, but she had very little choice about what else she could do now that even the taverns wouldn’t take her.

  The door opened slowly and Tessa found it almost painful, as she waited to see the man who was potentially her future husband. Finally, the door opened and Tessa found herself examining a tall, slender man with sandy blonde hair and a five o’clock shadow that really brought out his rugged cheekbones. She let her eyes flicker up to his and saw that they burned a deep shade of green that reminded her leaves just before they started to turn red for fall.

  “Liam, I’ve brought someone for you to meet.” Clara said with the same excitement in her eyes that she had shown back in the carriage.

  Tessa watched as she stepped aside so that Liam could take a look at her properly. She stood in silence for a moment as his eyes took in everything there was to see. She could tell from the way that his lips were curving up that he was impressed with what she had to offer so far.

  “I’m Tessa.” She said and then she gave him a small curtsey.

  “I’m very pleased to meet you.” Liam said in a wistful voice.

  “I’m sure that the standard response is to reply with your own name.” Tessa laughed.

  “You might be right about that.” Liam said and his smile travelled away from the corners of his lips as it slid all the way across. “I just wasn’t expecting Clara to bring me such a beautiful southern belle.” He lifted Tessa’s hand to his lips and gently kissed it.

  Tessa felt his eyes burning into hers as his lips brushed against her skin, making her whole arm tingle. She could feel the smile on her face. It was a stupid smile full of foolish hope and she tried to pull it back, but found that her lips were unwilling to obey. Liam had in the very short time that he’d know her, shown her more attention that George had in three years.

  “Won’t you both come in and have something to drink?” Liam asked as he stepped back from Tessa so that he could address them both.

  “Actually.” Clara said with a sly smile. “I must travel on and book a room at the Inn in town, but I’ll leave Tessa so you both might get better acquainted.”

  Tessa watched as Clara turned on her heel and walked away from the porch and to her carriage. She wondered whether she should follow her. She could feel herself growing worries over the idea of being left with a stranger so soon after meeting them.

  “Would you like to come in?” Liam asked.

  Tessa turned away from Clara’s carriage that was now pulling away from the ranch and back to Liam. She let her eyes find his and held them there for a moment. She nodded. “It would be a pleasure to.” She said.

  The ranch was quite impressive on the inside. Tessa could tell that most of the furniture, however had been there for many years and was probably not something that Liam had brought into the place himself. She followed him through the house and into the kitchen. The kitchen was a large open space that looked out onto the endless horizon that seemed to span out in all directions.

  “I should tell you something.” Tessa said when Liam passed her a cup of chicken soup.

  “What is it?” He asked with concerned eyes at her abruptness.

  “I was married once before.” She said because she felt it was only fair. She was unsure whether Clara knew his preference, but she knew that most men preferred for their women to be untouched by the hands other men.

  “Did you love him?” Liam asked.

  Tessa thought about Liam’s question. She could see a fierce intensity burning in his eyes and she could tell that the answer she gave meant a lot to him. “I loved him with my mind, but never with my heart.” She said finally.

  “And what would you say is the difference between?” Liam asked her curiously.

  “To love a person with your mind is chosen. I chose to marry him and take a vow to love him and so, I loved him with all my mind would allow, but he never touched my heart. To love a person with your heart is to love them for no reason other than love. It’s something that happens without your intention or planning. It’s something you cannot refrain from, even if you feel as though you truly must. It’s when you connect with another person, not because you are supposed to, but because you were always meant to.” Tessa explained.

  “Then I don’t think that your previous marriage should be an issue.” Liam said with a gentle smile.

  ******

  Six months had passed since Tessa had first met Liam, but it didn’t feel like that to her. To Tessa it felt as though the past since months had happened in the blink of an eye and at the same time, she could not remember a time before Liam was in her life. It was like he had the ability to wipe away all of the dark memories and shadows that had plagued her mind and had replaced them with nothing, but peace.

  They had married soon after meeting. The wedding had been small and much simpler than Tessa’s first, but it had touched in her in a way that her first wedding never could have. She had no doubt in her mind that she loved Liam. She truly loved Liam with all her heart and when she promised her vows to him, they weren’t tasks that were set out before her, but willing sacrifices that would ensure her husband’s happiness.

  They had settled into their new lives quickly. Tessa had found out quickly that Clara has been right about Liam’s interest in a girl with wit and she found herself laughing with him often. She had wondered when they had first wed whether it w
ould turn into the marriage that she had shared before. She worried that perhaps he would grow bored of her or that he would start to spend his nights in saloons rather than with him, but Clara had been right in every aspect of her description and he was a perfect gentleman.

  There was one problem though that hung over their marriage. It was a problem that Clara had not foreseen and had cast many shadows onto their otherwise happy life.

  ******

  Tessa could feel a frown growing on her forehead as she watched Liam in the kitchen. He had decided to cook the evening meal, but for the past half an hour had passed, all he had managed to do was slam pots onto the table and loudly curse whenever he dropped something.

  “Do you want some help?” Tessa asked him, when another loud crash made her wince.

  “I don’t need any help.” Liam said and his voice sounded sharp and full of agitation.

  “You need to tell me what’s wrong.” Tessa said firmly.

  “There’s nothing wrong. I’m fine. You’re fine. Everything is fine.” Liam said and then he moved a large bowl from one side of the table to the other.

  “Or there’s something wrong and you’re just not telling me?” Tessa suggested softly.

  Liam stopped what he was doing and looked at Tessa. Tessa could see his eyes soften as they met hers and she smiled at him gently. “You need to tell me what’s wrong.” She said and she watched as he nodded and walked over to sit beside her.

  “I feel as though I don’t provide enough for us.” He said as he looked down at the floor. “I want for us to have a family. I want for us to be comfortable. I want you to have everything that you deserve. Your last husband could give you so much and I so little.” He said sadly.

  Tessa shook her head at his words. “You have given me love that I can feel in my heart. That is more than I have ever deserved and all I will ever need.” She said and she placed her hand on his cheek and turned it so that he was facing her. She moved slowly towards him and gently kissed him on the lips in the most reassuring way that she could.

  “It’s not good enough, though.” Liam said and he shook his head.