First Down

by Paula Mabbel

  “You will always be good enough.” Tessa argued.

  “You are very sweet my belle but that does not ease my soul. I have been thinking a great deal about our situation and I have decided I’m going to leave for work.” He said.

  Tessa could tell from his tone that there would be no changing his mind, but she tried desperately anyway. “There is no need for you to go anywhere. We’re perfectly fine as we are.”

  “I’ve made up my mind.” Liam said with a shake of his head. “I leave first thing tomorrow.”

  “When will you be back?” Tessa asked and she tried to hide the small sniffle that was rising up in her chest.

  “Not until I’ve made our fortune.” Liam said.

  “But I need you.” Tessa said weakly. “It’s Christmas in one week and you propose to leave me here to go seeking a fortune, when all I want is you?” She said added.

  “Please don’t be sad, my southern belle.” Liam said softly and then he stroked his thumb gently up her cheek, so that it could wipe away the tears that had started to fall silently down her cheeks.

  “How can I not be sad?” She asked him.

  “You must think about the life we will live once I am home.” He said with a reassuring smile.

  Tessa tried to match his optimism, but she couldn’t. She desperately didn’t want him to leave but she couldn’t think of any way of making him stay. She wanted him to be happy and she knew that he never truly would be until he felt as though he was providing enough.

  *******

  Tessa lazily opened her eyes and stretched her arms across the bed. It was Christmas morning and the air held a chill that turned Tessa’s breath into thin veils of mist in front of her face. She pulled the covers up further so that they rested just below her chin and she thought about the day that lay ahead.

  She hadn’t fully understood what Clara had meant when she had said that her days had turned into long windows of time, until Liam had left. Now she understood that sentiment more and more with every day that passed. She wanted him to come home. She missed him desperately, but she knew that he would not return until he had earned his fortune and she knew that might take many years to achieve.

  She sat up in her bed and wondered how she might survive years without him. It had only been a week, but already it had felt as though she had served a lifetime in prison. She slid her legs out of bed and then her hands shot to her stomach when a pain coursed through her body. She cried out for a moment in to the silence and then she tried to stand up but she couldn’t.

  She waited until the pain had calmed down and then she forced herself up. She felt sick and for a moment she headed for the toilet, before she realized that a doctor was what she needed. She pulled on her long coat from the rack beside the door and stumbled out onto the porch.

  The sun had already started to brighten the horizon and she looked out to the small village that the doctor lived in. She frowned as she realized it would take her some time to get there, even if she took the journey on horseback and then she started to hurry as the pain came flooding back and she felt its crippling grasp inside of her.

  She managed to get to the horses tied to the side of the house and she fumbled with the rope that attached them to their post.

  “Are you going somewhere, pretty lady?” Liam’s voice asked from behind her.

  She turned around as the pain disappeared for a moment and then found the floor racing towards her as she fell down. She put her hands to her stomach again and wretched.

  “What happened?” Liam’s voice asked, but it sounded distant to Tessa as she felt her eyes growing heavy and darkness taking over.

  Tessa opened her eyes slowly and blinked. Her heart started to race when she realized that she didn’t know where she was, but then she heard a voice that instantly soothed her.

  “Will she be alright?” Liam asked from somewhere behind the door.

  “She’ll be just fine.” Someone replied and Tessa assumed it was the doctor.

  “I feel so guilty for leaving her.” Liam said.

  “You weren’t to know. I doubt even she knew. You just go in there and take care of that pretty wife of yours.” The doctor said in a reassuring way.

  Tessa listened to the sound of the door being pushed open and she smiled when her eyes met Liam’s. “I’ve missed you.” She said and was surprised to hear such a croak behind her voice.

  “I’ve missed you too.” Liam said gently as he stroked her hair.

  “What happened?” Tessa asked him as she looked around the room at the strange metal instruments that gave her the creeps without knowing what they actually did.

  “You passed out. You’ve been working too hard and our babies thought it was about time that you took a break.” Liam said with a warm smile.

  Tessa nodded and for a moment the information didn’t sink in. “I’m sorry, what?” She asked when she realized fully what he had said.

  “The doctor says you’re about five months pregnant.” Liam said and happiness was glowing in his eyes. “He also said that he thinks there are two of them in there.” He said and he gently put his hand on her stomach and stroked it with his thumb.

  “I don’t know what to say.” Tessa said as she tried to soak in all of the information. It was enough of a surprise to see Liam back so soon, without also learning that there was to be two new additions to their family.

  “You don’t have to say anything.” Liam said and then he bent down and kissed her softly on the forehead.

  “How are you back so soon?” Tessa asked with panicked filled eyes over the idea of him leaving again now that she was carrying.

  “You will never believe the story.” Liam said and his bright green eyes sparkled with excitement. “I’d only travelled a few towns over, when I happened to stumble across the sheriff in passing. He invited me to stay the night and I accepted, as I’d been travelling a great deal. When we spoke after dinner he told me that he’d been looking to bring in some bandits who had been causing his town and some local to it a great deal of trouble. He told me that there had been a reward set for their capture, dead or alive and believe me, Tessa, it was quite some payment.”

  “So, you captured the bandits?” Tessa asked him with wide eyes.

  “How could I not when it meant I could come straight home to you.” He said with sincerity.

  “Wasn’t it dangerous?” Tessa asked with concern.

  “Very.” Liam grinned at her.

  “That’s not funny Liam. My life would be over if I didn’t have you in it.” She said with such truthfulness behind it that Liam stopped smiling and pulled her in almost instantly for a hug.

  “I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I never meant to worry you. I just wanted to give you the life that such a beautiful spirit like you deserves.” He said. “You told me once that you could never love a person with your heart because you were supposed to, but only if you were meant to. Well, I am meant to look after you and I know that with all my heart and that is what I went out there to do.” He said in a reassuring way. “It was never dangerous for me because I had something to fight for. I had you to come home to…. and I would never leave you waiting.”

  *****

  THE END

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  The Cowgirl’s Child

  Missy pushed past the young men that stood in her way. She didn’t look back in spite of one of them calling out something after her. Something about her being too pretty to be in such a hurry.

  Well maybe if you gave me a reason to slow down I would be more willing to hear what ya’ll had to say.

  She was walking quickly, but her thoughts were interrupted by her breath
less friend.

  “Why you in such a hurry today, young Missy? That there could have been your next best lover.” Amy Lee playfully nudged Missy in the ribs.

  “You know how the last one went. I don’t know why I can’t seem to find any decent man in this entire town. I mean, you would think that any man would want a woman that was willing to speak her mind, knew what she was talking about, and had an education.” Missy slowed her pace a bit so her friend didn’t have to hurry so badly, but she still felt impatient.

  “Ah, well that’s just it. Not every man out here has been able to go to college, let alone the best school in all of Missouri. They are probably intimidated by you is all.” Amy Lee looked longingly at the sweets that were on display in the baker’s window as she spoke, and Missy rolled her eyes.

  “Frank certainly didn’t act intimidated. It was more like he was trying to be intimidating.” Missy put a lot of emphasis on the last part of the word, but she could see that her friend’s mind was more on the apple fritters than it was on them getting their errand done.

  “Frank was a brute and you knew it,” Amy Lee said, tugging Missy’s arm as she went into the baker’s shop. “That is why he spends most of his time in the whore house anyway.”

  “Ugh! Don’t remind me! He still makes me so mad, and I haven’t seen him in over a month!” Missy crumpled the paper that was in her hands, Amy Lee was too busy paying for her fritter care.

  “A girl like you doesn’t have any business in that part of town anyway.” Amy Lee said when they were back on the street, but the sting of all the memories still wrenched in Missy’s heart from time to time.

  She nodded, and said nothing. There was nothing to say. Missy knew what she wanted, and to her, it didn’t seem like too much to ask. Her sister had been able to find a decent man when she was younger then Missy was now, and her sister didn’t even go to college to do it.

  Missy didn’t want to admit it, but part of her was jealous of that fact. Jealous that her sister had always had everything in life just handed to her. Jealous that she had already accomplished in life what Missy wanted most… Marriage to a fine man, and raising fine children.

  “And we have reached the post office!” Amy Lee announced, breaking into Missy’s thoughts once more. “Why are we here again?”

  “I told you, I am running an ad in the paper.” Missy said, a little shorter than she meant to sound to her friend, but Amy Lee didn’t seem offended by her tone, she seemed confused.

  “But wouldn’t you be better off running the ad in the general store? What kind of ad is this anyway?”

  “I don’t want to run it in the general store because I don’t want it to run local, and it is a mail order bride ad.” Missy made an effort to make it sound like it was no big deal, and that everyone was putting up ads for husbands, but her tone didn’t change the reaction Amy Lee had.

  “Are you nuts?! Missy! You could hear from anyone… Anyone! Think of the men that you may hear from… think of the man that you could marry! Are you sure this is a good idea?” Amy Lee was talking so fast, Missy didn’t have time to answer her in between the questions.

  “I can’t find anyone worse than who I am already finding, besides, I don’t have to see these ones before we meet, so I might be able to avoid another run in like Frank.” Missy finished the note she was writing, and handed it to the man that was behind the counter.

  “That will be a penny for the month, Miss,” he said.

  Missy dug in her coin purse, and pulled out a penny. Without hesitation, she handed it to the man, thanked him, and left.

  “Listen Amy, I want to get married, and I want to have children. I want a decent man, but they just don’t seem to exist in this town. At least the ones that do exist are already married, or they wanted my sister.” Missy rolled her eyes when she said the word, and Amy Lee laughed.

  “Oh come on, you can do way better than Eric. He is charming, to be sure, but I declare, that man doesn’t know the front of the horse from the back of one, and your sister isn’t far behind!”

  Missy pretended to be horrified, but she couldn’t help but laugh, too. Amy Lee always had a way of comparing things in the most humorous manner, and she was right.

  “I hope you find your Prince Charming,” Amy Lee said, in a more serious tone, “and I hope he got a degree at Princeton.”

  Missy smiled, and playfully pushed her friend. “Race you back to your place!” She said, but all the while she was thinking,

  I just hope he deserves me.

  *****

  Missy eagerly watched the mail to see if there were any replies for her ad, but day after day it turned up nothing. She told herself that it was a national posting, so it was apt to take a while for her to hear back from anyone, but it was still frustrating to her.

  Finally, three weeks after she posted the ad, she got two letters. One was postmarked in Boston, and the other was out in the west. Wyoming, to be exact. Missy noticed the difference in handwriting for them, and she eagerly tore them open.

  It was hard to pick which one to read first. There was something precise and business like about the letter from Boston, but there was also a deliberate and self-assured look to the way he formed his letters.

  Missy started with that one, which read:

  My Lady,

  Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Matthew Cartwright, and I reside in Boston. I work my living at a bank, dealing with hundreds to thousands of dollars every single day.

  I must admit that your ad in the paper did catch my eye. I have been desirous of a wife that knows her wit, and uses it. I am impressed that you are educated, and I would very much like you to come down to Boston to be my bride.

  I will treat you kindly, and you are free to study as you please. A pretty bride is all I need to make my life complete, and I am eager to hear of your acceptance to my proposal.

  Sincerely,

  M. Cartwright

  Missy’s heart thudded in her chest. There was something so refined about the way he spoke. It was almost as though the letters themselves were speaking. Missy imagined a medium sized man, in a suit with a bright red tie, and glasses.

  She imagined him to be very smart, and handsome. She closed her eyes for a moment, and pictured what life would be like with him, at least what she imagined it would be like. They would have sons. Three of them.

  They would be handsome and smart like their father, and they would all go to school and get their own degrees. She imagined herself as their mother, and how they would one day thank her for all of her hard work in raising them as they spoke to crowds upon crowds of people.

  Missy was shaken out of her daydream by the sound of the pot on the stove whistling. She had forgotten that she had put some water on the stove to boil, and she got up to pour some tea. She prodded the fire in the stove, and her eyes fell on the second letter that was on the table.

  She had already opened it, but she hadn’t taken the time to admire the lettering as she had done with the other one. Now, she took the letter in her hand, and sat down with her tea. As she sipped at the hot liquid, she studied the lettering on the front of the second letter.

  The author of this letter didn’t have the same deliberate style as Mr. Cartwright, but there was still that same confidence. His lettering had larger swoops to it, and his I’s were dotted with a dash that was thrown across the paper, almost like a sharp breeze.

  Missy pulled the letter out of the envelope, and studied the contents.

  Ma’am,

  I saw your ad in the paper this morning, and I couldn’t help but smile. You sound like a young miss with a good head on her shoulders, and a sense of freedom.

  I think you would love it out here in Wyoming, and it would do me a great honor if you would consider coming out here to be my bride. I would love to treat you like a lady, and take you for long rides on my ranch.

  I will show you where the fields sing, and where the sky turns to gold. I’ll teach you how to listen to the son
g of the wild, and how to appreciate the fine things in life.

  Anyway, I don’t have a fancy degree or anything, but I am kind and I am genuine, and I would love to get to know you.

  Yours Truly,

  Caleb Ryder

  Missy was lost in the letter. Her eyes clung to every word that she read, and re-read. There wasn’t anything in this letter that stood out to her in particular, but there was a sense of wonder that she found in it that held her attention.

  This man was enchanting, and his home sounded mesmerizing. She could almost feel herself there, in a soft green field surrounded by flowers and trees, the lush green grass brushing against her arms and face.

  She imagined that she would be lost out there for hours. Lost, and not wanting to be found. Lost, and loving every minute of it. She could see her and her husband… what was his name? Caleb…

  She imagined that he was tall, with strong arms and strong hands. A kind smile and eyes that you could lose yourself in for hours. Dark hair, and a sharp mind. A mind that was able to keep up with her own, but also a gentleman that treated her like a lady.

  Missy could feel a tingle of excitement rush down the back of her spine, and she shivered with anticipation. She didn’t even need to ask Amy Lee what she thought, or which one she would choose. With eager hands and trembling fingers, Missy pulled out her finest stationary and nicest pen.

  She copied the address from the envelope, then spritzed some of her perfume on the paper she was using for the letter. As soon as it dried, she pressed her pen to the paper,

  Using her best hand writing, she started her reply to Caleb Ryder.

  *****

  “Missy, have you lost your mind? You can’t go all the way to Wyoming to meet a man that you have never even seen before! What if he isn’t what he says he is, and what if he hurts you?” Elizabeth cleared the cake dishes off the table, and carried them over to the sink.

  Missy wondered for a brief moment why she had bothered coming to tell her sister about Caleb. She knew from the start that her sister wasn’t going to approve, but then again, her sister didn’t seem to approve of anything that she did.