by Aidan Wayne
“Hey,” Marcus said in a rush. “Sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to make, like, a scene and interrupt the class, so I figured I’d just hide in here for a little bit.”
Taemin peered out of the office. Jamal and Roshen had gone over to Preeti, looking eager. Preeti made an unimpressed face and shrugged. Taemin turned back to Marcus. “You’re free to stay in here if you want to avoid your fan club. But you also didn’t have to come by, if it was going to be a bother for you.”
Marcus shook his head. “It’s not. At all. I wanted to. I just ended up going out to dinner with some people from set, and it ran late. I wanted to be here.”
He kept saying that. But it had just been established that Marcus was simply that kind of person, who was kind and genuine and gave things his all. Taemin tried to smile. “You’re always welcome.”
Marcus blinked at him. “Are—what’s the matter?”
“What? Nothing.”
“I—okay. If you say so.”
Taemin cleared his throat. “I’ll send Preeti in to say hi, if you’d like? I know she was looking forward to seeing you tonight.”
“Oh, uh, sure. If you don’t mind.”
“Of course. Give me a minute.”
“HEY,” PREETI said, coming into Taemin’s office. She was in full sparring gear, minus her mouth guard. “Looks like you aren’t up for sparring tonight, huh?”
“Sorry,” Marcus said. “I was out later than I thought. I didn’t have time to grab any workout wear.”
She nodded. “It’s okay. But you know, you didn’t have to, like, come by. I know you’ve got stuff to do. You could’ve just sent an apology text. I would’ve gotten it after class.”
“Yeah, I know. I wanted to, though.”
“So you could… sit here in Master Choi’s office?”
Marcus shrugged, unsure of what to say. That he wanted to check on Taemin because he’d been worried? That he wanted to see him anyway, regardless? That the academy felt like home and that Marcus wanted to be a part of the life of the man who ran it?
He waved an idle hand. “I just wanted to see him. And you, of course.”
She tilted her head, expression calculating. Marcus was good at expressions. “Of course. Well. I’m getting back out there. Since someone decided to not show up ready to challenge me, I’m going to have to get some semblance of a workout from my students.”
Marcus saluted her. “Have fun.”
She saluted back and then left, her ponytail swinging behind her.
Alone in the office now, Marcus sat back and took a good long look around. There were certain things he recognized, like certificates and awards, and some things he didn’t—mostly pictures of students. There was a whole wall nearly papered in pictures of kids and adults alike holding up medals or trophies or wearing new belt colors with old ones hanging around their necks, Taemin in all of them, standing to the side and looking proud.
As he followed the line of photos, they got older and older looking, and Taemin started looking younger. Then he came across one that made his breath catch.
It was him. At thirteen, wearing his junior black belt, holding his old bodan belt in his hands. A twenty-two-year-old Taemin had his arm slung around his shoulders, and they were both grinning at the camera. After all these years, after all the students who undoubtedly had to have come and gone… Marcus was still up there.
Marcus reached a hand out as if to touch, then pulled it back, his emotions in turmoil. Was he—was he right in wanting to pursue Taemin? After all this time? When they’d started out as student and teacher? Or would he alienate him by even suggesting it?
He didn’t know how long he’d stared at the picture when his phone beeped with a message from Billy: Schedule update, the cast read was moved to nine. Please confirm.
Got it, Marcus sent back. His phone beeped again almost immediately.
How are things? Did you go back to the school like you planned to?
Yeah, Marcus wrote, I’m here now. Went over after I was done with dinner.
Okay? If you’re texting me, you’re there but you’re not with him. What’s going on?
Nothing, Marcus sent back, feeling bitter. Just reevaluating my life choices.
His phone rang. Billy. Marcus glanced out of the office to see that class was still going strong, and answered. “Yeah?” he said quietly.
“Reevaluating what?” Billy demanded. “You’ve been in love with this guy since you were a kid.”
“Exactly,” Marcus said in a furious whisper. “Since I was a kid. He saw me as a kid.”
“But you’re not one now.”
“I know that. I know that, but I—I don’t want to ruin a good thing. Being around him is enough. It’s enough.”
“For chrissakes, of course it isn’t. You’re pining. You don’t pine. You are in love. It’s not worth it to see where things could go?”
“And if I mess it up? You of all people should—” He cut himself off; that was not something he had the right to bring up, especially not now. “—I don’t want to ruin it,” he ended up repeating. “I don’t want to lose what I have now.”
Billy blew out an angry breath. Marcus could picture him raking a hand through his hair. “Fuck, just—fine. Fine. Don’t tell him. But I want to say one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“If this guy really is as special as you think he is, even if he had to turn you down, I don’t think he’d want you out of his life. That’s—that’s worth keeping in mind.”
Marcus turned to look back at the picture. That Taemin had kept up, all these years. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
AFTER CLASS had been dismissed and the last of the stragglers had left, Taemin and Preeti both went to change into street clothes and then met back in Taemin’s office. Marcus looked up from his phone when they both came in.
“Hey,” he said, offering up a smile. “Thanks for letting me stick around.”
Preeti raised an eyebrow. “Because it was so much trouble, you holing up in here?”
Marcus shrugged. “Still. I’m here in your space, and it wasn’t as if I was doing anything productive.”
Taemin frowned. “Please don’t think like that. You don’t need to be doing something here. I’m happy to have you just be in the office.”
At that, Marcus’s lips quirked up. “Even if you’re not in it?”
“Well, I can’t say I wouldn’t prefer that I was there with you, but yes. Even then.” He loved the academy. And he knew Marcus loved it too. Whatever time Marcus wanted to spend here, Taemin was happy to let him.
Preeti looked between them. “Well,” she said after a second, shouldering her backpack. “I should probably head out. Early class tomorrow. Speaking of early.” She nodded at Marcus. “Don’t let him stay out to late. Wednesday is a sparring morning.”
“Got it,” Marcus said, looking altogether too serious for what was obviously just a playful joke.
“Preeti, honestly.”
She held up her hands. “Hey, I’m the one leaving. So I’m not the one keeping you up.” Then, before he could say anything else, she said, “G’night sir, g’night Marcus! Text me!” And she turned tail and fairly ran out of the office.
“Let me know when you’ve gotten home safe!” Taemin called after her, the only reply being the bells over the door jingling as she left.
Taemin blinked in her wake. Preeti didn’t usually linger too long on Tuesday nights because it was true, they both did have early mornings, but she usually didn’t leave in quite such a rush. He looked to Marcus, who made a helpless gesture. “Don’t look at me,” he said. “For all I know, she’s like that all the time.”
Taemin chuckled. “She’s something all right. I’m lucky to have kept her on.”
Marcus nodded. “It seems like she really looks out for you. She and Mr. Avi both.”
Taemin sighed. “Sometimes too much. I endure a lot of mother-henning.” Though that did remind him…. He went and grabbed one of the boxes
of snacks that had been left for him and pulled out a strawberry-flavored protein bar. Eating. He should do that. “Do you mind if I eat something quickly?”
Marcus shook his head. “No, please. And I don’t want to keep you from your real dinner or anything. I just, you know. I wanted to see you one more time today. See how you were doing.”
“Oh,” Taemin said. “Thank you.” He turned the protein bar over in his hands. “I appreciate it.”
“Of course.” Of course. Said so easily. Matter-of-factly. As though Marcus really didn’t want to do anything else but be with him.
Reading too much into things. And he needed to stop.
“Well,” he said, trying for bright, “I think we both do probably need to head out. I can walk you to your car.”
“Do you mind if I stay while you close up?” Marcus sounded so caring.
Taemin had to look away. “Of course not.”
Closing up only consisted of Taemin gathering all the attendance cards together and setting them on his desk to deal with the next day, putting on his shoes, and then grabbing his duffel bag and hitting the lights, Marcus following while Taemin locked up.
They faced each other in the dark of the parking lot. Taemin felt the need to say something, but he wasn’t sure what.
After all, what could he say?
“Have a good night.” He reached out to touch Marcus on the shoulder. “Drive safe, okay?”
Marcus touched his hand with his own, fingers curling around Taemin’s, before he stepped back. “Yeah. You too.”
Taemin smiled at him before going over to his own car. He gripped his steering wheel and took a deep breath before he started his car and drove to his apartment. He focused on the drive, tried to keep a lid on the thoughts churning in his head. He wanted….
He wanted.
He got to his complex, parked his car, and headed up the stairs. Kicked off his shoes and dropped his duffel. What was wrong with him? He shouldn’t be feeling like this. He shouldn’t be wanting Marcus like this.
But—
But today had definitely solidified his feelings. He’d needed someone and Marcus had been there, offering. And had gone the extra mile then, coming by the academy to check on him one more time.
All Taemin wanted out of someone to love was someone to have. To talk to, to come home to. To hold and be held by.
It’d only been a week.
God, it felt like so much longer.
He forced himself to go about his nightly routine but eventually found himself sitting up in bed staring down at his phone, scrolling through the text conversations he’d had with Marcus over the last several days. Even just reading the messages made him happy. Something about being with Marcus made Taemin feel light.
He set down his phone and lay down, pulling up the covers. Tried to will himself to sleep.
And not think about what Marcus looked like when he smiled.
MARCUS GOT home to his short-stay apartment and flipped on the light, surveying the bland modern decorations before he sighed. Taemin’s apartment was so much brighter. So full of life, and of him, and everything he cared about and stood for.
Marcus had gotten to go to Taemin’s apartment to hold him today. And he’d been thanked for it. So many times, so quietly, that it felt like Marcus had taken something he shouldn’t have.
If this guy really is as special as you think he is, even if he had to turn you down, I don’t think he’d want you out of his life. That’s—that’s worth keeping in mind.
Billy knew what he was talking about. Taemin wasn’t the sort who would be… disgusted. Confused maybe, taken aback for sure, but he wouldn’t—he probably wouldn’t tell Marcus not to let the door hit him on the way out.
It’s just—it’s not like Marcus could help it. Taemin was so… kind, understanding, encouraging—
Beautiful.
He had a smile that lit up the world, and a drive to help others so fierce that he’d built his life around it. He was strong and graceful and gorgeous, and Marcus couldn’t help but be in love with him. It was so easy. Too easy.
Fuck, Billy was right. Marcus needed to stop waffling. He had made the decision a week ago, when he first saw Taemin back on that mat and everything had slammed into him, that he was going to do something about his feelings. He had made the decision over the weekend that he was going to ask Taemin out. He just needed to wait for the right time.
And he had made the decision hours ago that he wanted to be there for Taemin whenever he could. Hold him close, kiss his hair, tell him things would be okay.
Okay. Okay, okay, okay. He could do this. He would do this. He was a fucking leading man in the movie industry. He was famous, successful, and wealthy. He had scores of people dying to date him.
And none of that mattered to Taemin.
Marcus rubbed a hand over his face. Okay. He was going to try to woo the most genuine, down-to-earth human being on the planet. In fact, he didn’t have to woo, because this wasn’t some fucking romantic flick; this was real life, with a real human person, and one Marcus cared about so much that the idea of messing up and doing the wrong thing was terrifying.
He could do this, though. He just needed to start small. All he had to do was ask. That was it.
“I’m interested in you,” he said aloud, trying to get a feel for the words. “I’d like to date you. Maybe see where things go, if you felt like I was someone you might be interested in.”
Simple, easy, to the point. Things Taemin would appreciate. He hoped.
WEDNESDAY WAS so busy for Taemin that he barely had any time to deal with inner turmoil, which was a nice upside to the fact that he was in constant motion from five in the morning to near ten that night.
He worked steadily through, managed a nap after working with the homeschool co-op, actually remembered to eat something when he woke up, and then it was time to go back to the academy to get ready for that evening’s classes.
His phone buzzed just as he was unlocking the door, so he pulled it out to check it as he stepped out of his shoes, thinking it might be Mr. Avi, who worked Wednesday nights with him.
It wasn’t; it was a message from Marcus, saying, Hope the day’s been treating you well so far. I’ve been in script reads and character prep all day. Some actual physical stuff too, though, which has been nice. Please tell me no if I’m being a bother, but I was hoping maybe I could come by tonight after class? I know you must be beat by then, and I promise I won’t take up too much of your time. I just wanted to see you.
I’d be happy to see you, Taemin replied, even as typing it twisted him into knots. Maybe if he were a stronger person he’d be able to put some distance between them, but he couldn’t help wanting to see Marcus again.
Just—just wanting him close.
Classes passed a little slower than they usually did, and by the adult class, Mr. Avi was eyeing him with an expression Taemin knew to recognize as concern.
“Is something wrong, Mr. Avi?” he asked as they waited for their students to get on their sparring gear for the last fifteen minutes of class before cooldown.
“No, sir,” Mr. Avi said after a moment. “Nothing much. How’s the week been for you so far?”
“About the same as it always is. Busy, but positive. How’s Julia? Is she feeling better?”
“Oh yeah, right as rain now.”
“Good to hear.”
“Yeah….” Mr. Avi seemed to consider something, then asked, “How did Sunday go?”
“Sunday?”
“Yeah, when you went out with Marcus. He actually talk you into slowing down a little?”
Sunday they had met for coffee and had ended up talking for so long that they went out to lunch too. Marcus had gotten recognized three times over the course of it, and he’d apologized each time, like he was the one being the burden when it was someone else intruding on their time. He’d also insisted on paying again, which Taemin only allowed because of how much it seemed to make Marcus happy. They
’d only said their goodbyes when Taemin couldn’t put off leaving for Detroit any longer, if he hadn’t wanted to be late. “It was a very pleasant way to spend some time,” he ended up saying.
“Good to hear. He tell you about how his work is going?”
“It hadn’t really started when we met on Sunday, but we talked a little about it Monday, and then yesterday. It seems to be going well. Apparently filming will be starting this coming Monday.”
Mr. Avi glanced at him, then turned back to the students who were starting to line up. “You’ve seen him a lot this week, huh?”
Taemin nodded, tried not to think too much about it. “I think I said before that it’s been very nice, him making so much time to see me.”
“Uh-huh.” The last of their students had gotten back into the line, standing at attention, so the conversation was dropped to referee and have teaching matches.
MARCUS TRIED to time his arrival at the academy just as classes let out so he wouldn’t be too much of a distraction but still didn’t show up too late. He was lucky in that he bowed into the building as everyone else was grabbing up duffel bags and backpacks and heading out. A bright side to the adult class: most of them didn’t have to wait around to be picked up.
“Hey,” Mr. Avi said, coming over to him. He was holding the large push broom used to sweep the mat. “Nice to see you again.”
Marcus smiled at him, trying to mask his nerves. “Thanks.”
“Master Choi’s going over attendances in his office,” Mr. Avi said, nodding in the direction of the open door. “He probably didn’t hear you come in over the noise of everyone else leaving.”
Okay. Marcus didn’t want to disturb him while he was working. He could say hi in a minute. Instead, he motioned at the broom. “Want me to take that off your hands?”
Mr. Avi’s eyebrows went up. “You’re a bigshot now and you want to sweep?”
“Hey, I’m not that much of a bigshot that I don’t care about where I came from.”
“All right, all right.” Mr. Avi handed over the broom, and Marcus got to work.