The Bad Boy's Secret Romance

by Jessie Gussman

  “We have to see how it can work. Otherwise, there’s no point.”

  “There’s no point in me telling you how I feel about you? Are you saying it doesn’t matter? You don’t want me to show you with my hands and lips the words and feelings that are in my heart?”

  The tingles in her finger turned to heat, spread up her arms and down her sides. Her breath came in unsteady puffs.

  Of course, she wanted that. But she couldn’t trust him. Not because it was Thad. But because he was a man. She couldn’t give him that power over her when this secret that they had could be exposed and blow up her life.

  She stepped closer, until there were only inches between them. Her hand went to his chest.

  The finger that had been touching her chin twisted until his hand cupped her face, sliding into her hair. She tilted her head, pressing into it.

  He covered her hand on his chest with his own, his fingers thicker and rougher. The calluses on his palm scratched her skin. He squeezed, lifting her hand and taking it to his mouth, kissing the inside of her wrist.

  She closed her eyes and forgot to breathe.

  “I’m scared,” she said.

  She hadn’t meant to utter those words aloud. Hadn’t meant to become so vulnerable. But she couldn’t help it. Couldn’t do anything but give in to his tenderness. If he’d been demanding, if he had used his strength to bully her, if he had used his anger as a weapon to push her down and dominate her, she would have fought him. But she couldn’t fight this.

  She’d lost the will to even want to. She couldn’t remember why it was so important to protect herself, because it felt safe to be vulnerable with him.

  She didn’t know what she had expected him to say or how she had expected him to respond to her unplanned statement. But she was surprised to hear his words.

  “I’m scared too.”

  It was exactly what she needed to hear. She stepped closer, closing the final distance between them, and their bodies touched. He let go of her hand, and she put her arms around his neck. His hands settled on her hips and the small of her back, gently pulling her close to him.

  Their eyes met, and they stared at each other, breathing fast together, their breath mingling in the night air that took it away, flowing sweetly between them, brushing their skin like the touch of an angel’s wing.

  Up until that moment, she would’ve said the worst thing in the world that they could do would be to kiss. At that second, it was the only thing she wanted.

  But Thad didn’t move, he didn’t lower his head, he didn’t move his hands up her back, but just stood holding her and allowing her to hold him.

  It felt right.

  But she still wanted more.

  She couldn’t stand the silence or the suspense any longer. “Aren’t you going to kiss me?”

  “I want to.”

  She felt the ache of those words flow up her neck and out her jaw, but he still didn’t move.

  “Then do it,” she said.

  “I don’t want you to regret it. I don’t want you to hate me. I want to kiss you more than anything. Except I don’t want to risk losing what we have by being selfish and greedy and wanting more.”

  His words gave her pause and made her think. They didn’t take the heat away, didn’t take the tingles, and didn’t take the desire to be closer, but it did something to her heart to know that he valued their relationship, her friendship, more than he wanted any temporary physical satisfaction.

  “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

  “Don’t say never. It’s dangerous.”

  She ignored him. “There won’t be any regrets either. Not for me.” Her lips lifted a little. “I don’t want you to have regrets either.”

  His lips twitched as well. His head nodded slowly. “No regrets. I don’t care what happens. I couldn’t regret this. It’s one of the most beautiful nights of my life.”

  “Maybe kissing me would ruin that?”

  His breath huffed out. “It would move it to the top.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  “Maybe I just wanted to enjoy this a little. I know I never thought I would touch you like this. I just need some time to start to believe that it isn’t a dream.”

  She could be content with that answer. And she could stand here and enjoy it too. Except it wasn’t enough.

  She stretched out and put pressure on the back of his head, tugging him toward her. “You’ve had enough time.”

  His lips curved up, and they didn’t try to hold a smile back. “Never enough time. Never.”

  But he gave in to her pressure and lowered his head, touching his lips to hers.

  Chapter 10

  Thad wasn’t sure exactly how that happened. He’d gone from being jealous and angry, and wanting to hurt Justice the way she’d hurt him, snubbing him at the church and acting like they barely knew each other, to never wanting to let her go. Wanting to hold and cherish and keep, and this feeling that he’d do anything for her, anything she asked, was almost overwhelming.

  His blood burned from their kiss, and his lips tingled and wanted more, but he pulled away after what seemed like an embarrassingly long time of being unable to get close enough to her, and he ended up leaning back against the rock, his legs spread out on either side of her, with her body tucked into his.

  They stood like that for a while.

  He found it funny that he hadn’t even wanted to let go of her long enough to get her up on the rock to sit beside him. He’d rather stand than move away. This was crazy. He’d gone from being unable to stop thinking about her to being unable to stop touching her, too.

  It might not be love, but it was definitely an infatuation.

  The L word caused his stomach to leap backwards. He didn’t want to think that way. It was definitely dangerous. He couldn’t even get her to talk to him in public.

  But he wanted more; he just couldn’t tell her. Couldn’t tell her that he didn’t care about her family or his or what they would think. He just wanted her. He wanted to be able to tell everybody that she was his, and he wanted everyone to know that his loyalty was to her.

  He’d definitely be scaring her off if he told her all of that, even if he could find the words. Feelings weren’t always easy to articulate. Although, after the way he kissed her, he hoped she knew. How could she not? He certainly never kissed anyone else like that. Not until he was trembling and so weak he could barely stand.

  Her head rested under his chin, and her arms held tight around his waist. One of his hands stroked her hair, which was just as soft as it looked. And one of them wrapped around her hips, holding her close. The way he wanted her.

  He lost track of time, but it had to be after midnight. Above them, on the flat rock, Beau slept through everything. But he shifted and whined now.

  As much as Thad didn’t want to admit it, they needed to separate and go home.

  Against him, Justice stirred. She lifted her head. “I don’t want to move. I absolutely don’t want to leave. But we have work; tomorrow’s another day.”

  “Pretty sure tomorrow’s today.”

  Her soft answer contained a little laugh. “You might be right, I don’t know. I don’t know anything, really, except all I want is to be with you.”

  “It seems to be all I want too. We can find a way to make this happen.”

  “I know you’re right. Let’s just take it slow, okay?”

  Slow wasn’t what he wanted. But they’d already been doing slow; he could keep doing it. He just didn’t want to. He wanted everything. Right now. Because he didn’t ever want to have to see her disappear inside a building with another man again.

  “Let’s try.”

  She let him hold her hand as they walked back to the parking area, Beau trotting along beside. Unused to midnight walks.

  They stopped at her car, and he put one hand on her hip and one hand on the roof. “Has our relationship progressed to the point where I can ask you when I’m gonna see
you again? Or do I have to just come here and hope?”

  Her hands touched his stomach and slid around the sides. His breath puffed out, and he almost didn’t wait for her answer before he kissed her.

  “I’ll be here tomorrow, tonight, but will probably be late. Almost dark.”

  “I’ll be waiting.” He lowered his head and spent an awful long time kissing her goodbye.

  ~~~

  Justice sat across the big mahogany desk beside Andrew, facing Barry, the owner of the trucking company whose contract she coveted.

  She’d already lost focus at least three times and had to force herself back to the present. Her eyes were a little dry from being up too late. She had dabbed concealer on the dark circles beneath them this morning when she crawled out of bed.

  But she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. A silly grin. She never had trouble containing a sappy look before, but she was fighting it now.

  Every time she thought of last night, every time she thought of Thad’s kiss, heat went up her spine, and her neck pricked and tightened. Her fingers clenched, and she longed to be able to rub her palms over the ridges of his back.

  She ached to grab her phone and see how many more hours until tonight. She’d been doing that a lot today too.

  “Justice?” Andrew’s voice contained nothing but annoyance. “You have that information in the folder. Are you going to get it?”

  Right. She was here with Andrew, meeting Barry on business. This wasn’t about the contract, but bank business. About the new shop Barry wanted to open and the additional units he wanted to add to his fleet.

  She had a list of the information that she needed from him; she’d already scanned and emailed it. But Barry had wanted to talk about some of the items.

  She knew all this information front and back, if only she could concentrate long enough to get it out of her mouth.

  Barry had already tentatively told her the contract for the weld shop was hers. Not hers exactly, it was going to go to the all-female garage that she had personally financed and was opening next week.

  They didn’t have anything in writing yet though. Because he hadn’t made the official announcement. So the contract hadn’t been offered. She didn’t want him to see her incompetence today and decide to give the contract to someone else.

  Shoving thoughts of Thad completely out of her head, she put on her most professional smile, straightened in her seat, and tapped a few buttons on her iPad.

  She turned it around to face Barry. “This is the first item you wanted to discuss. I pulled all the information that I had.” She continued talking, determined not to be sidetracked and lose the plum opportunity for their bank. Even though she was financing the shop, she had every intention of moving up the ladder at her job, too.

  The meeting lasted just under two hours, and Bernice, Barry’s wife, came in at the end as they were standing around the desk, making small talk and gathering their things up.

  They chatted for a bit.

  “I hate to break the party up,” Barry said. “But I have another appointment that’s supposed to start in five minutes.”

  “Of course, darling,” Bernice said to her husband. She patted Justice’s arm, tucking her hand into her elbow and walking slowly beside Justice to the door. “We’ll chat later, sweetheart. Barry is having his lawyer draw up the contract right now. It should be announced this week.”

  Shots of excitement tripped in Justice’s chest. This was a dream come true. She had a meeting with the ladies who were starting the garage directly after work today, which was why she had told Thad last night that she would be late. She was pretty excited that she should have news for them. And an approximate date.

  Bernice waited while Barry opened the door, still in deep conversation with Andrew. Justice was pretty sure they were talking about golfing, not that she knew anything about it.

  She and Bernice followed them through the door while Bernice chattered about the cruise that she and Barry were taking soon. Justice listened and nodded, not that interested. Maybe someday, she’d be interested in a cruise, but right now, she had too many things she wanted to accomplish. Taking a cruise would just derail her work goals. Personal and professional.

  She had successfully not thought about Thad for a good five minutes, but as she stepped out of the door, nodding at Bernice, her eyes lifted and met the dark eyes of the man that she had been kissing under the stars not that long ago.

  The shock of attraction she always felt when she saw him ripped through her first. Followed closely by surprise.

  Years of playing the perfect businesswoman probably helped her school her features after a few seconds of open-mouthed shock.

  He stood with who could only be his brother, they looked so similar. His eyes were on her.

  She shivered and had a hard time pulling her own gaze away. But she did. She didn’t want anyone to know.

  Even though she wasn’t looking at him, she could feel his eyes continue to follow her as he moved and shifted, stepping over to the receptionist’s desk and standing while his brother spoke. She had a hard time following Bernice’s conversation. Hopefully, she wasn’t agreeing to anything crazy.

  She wished with all her heart she could enjoy that look. Because it was hot and possessive and everything she never thought she wanted but was absolutely thrilled to have. Only, she couldn’t have it. Because it would be hard for anyone to look at his face, see who he was looking at, and not know that there was something between them.

  Plus, with just that one look, everything that had happened last night came rushing back. She wanted nothing more than to walk into his arms and feel them close around her again.

  “Wouldn’t you agree?” Bernice asked as they stopped in front of the receptionist desk, just a few feet away from Thad and his brother.

  “I must say, I do.” Justice had no idea what she agreed to. Hopefully, it was wallpaper color or the type of tile Bernice was putting on her kitchen floor. She was pretty sure that’s what Bernice was talking about before her eyes met Thad’s and all rational thought fled.

  Bernice nodded and started talking about plumbing fixtures. Good. At least Justice hadn’t given away any bank secrets or agreed to an unreasonable contract.

  Now she just had to get her heart and lungs working in tandem again, instead of fighting each other, because it was making her dizzy.

  Or maybe Thad just sucked all the air out of the room. For her anyway.

  Barry had invited the two of them into his office, and Thad’s brother passed her first. He barely glanced at her. Whether that was because he was completely uninterested, or because he knew she was a Hopkins, she wasn’t sure. But when Thad got beside her, he bent down and picked something up off the carpet.

  “I believe you dropped this,” he said in a low tone, straightening. It sounded heavenly, hitting her deep in all the right places. He held out a small square of paper.

  She looked down at his fingers, remembering the gentle touch on her chin last night. Her eyes slid back up to his, and they held for just a moment. Vaguely, she realized Bernice’s prattling had stopped, and she seemed to be staring at Justice, probably wondering why she didn’t take the piece of paper or say something.

  It took a few more long, slow seconds before she could tear her eyes away from his dark gaze and look back down at the paper. Her hand came up, and her fingers took a hold of it. For just a second, they held it together, her fingers slim and white, his blunt and darker. She wanted to study the contrast. She wanted to touch them and hold them. She wanted to do a whole lot of things she’d never considered before. Particularly not in a company’s boardroom, with people staring at her, wanting to know, wondering why she was acting so oddly.

  Probably wondering why her heart was beating so loudly too.

  “Thad?” A male voice came from the other room. It must have been his brother.

  It snapped her out of her foggy haze.

  She grabbed the paper, glancing at it one more
time. It said raft tonight.

  She’d never seen his handwriting, but this was definitely a masculine scrawl. Odd, since she had not seen anything on the floor. It was almost like he scribbled a note for her. She hadn’t been watching him. In fact, she had been deliberately avoiding watching him, so she supposed he could have scratched something down quickly.

  She’d ask later.

  “I didn’t see anything on the floor. Although someone must have dropped it, unless that’s yours?” Bernice looked inquiringly at the paper in Justice’s hand.

  “It just looks like a scrap of paper. Probably a piece of trash someone threw away and missed the can.” She crumpled it, throwing it into the trashcan.

  Andrew waited for her by the door, typing something on his phone, his thumbs flying. She adjusted the folders and iPad in her hand, thanked Bernice, and walked over to Andrew. They hadn’t ridden together because Justice planned to stop and see the Baxter girls and Rachel on the way home. Andrew hadn’t needed to wait for her.

  They walked out together, making a few comments about how the meeting went and exchanging notes on what the large loan would entail, parting once they reached their cars, and going their separate ways.

  Andrew wasn’t a bad-looking man, she supposed, but after being with Thad, he seemed almost feminine and definitely self-absorbed. A great guy for someone, maybe, but not her.

  She got in her car, a little bemused. She’d never considered having a steady guy. Casual dating was fine. It was fun to go out to eat and nice to have a companion to do things with, but she didn’t want that commitment, and she didn’t want to give someone, particularly a man, any control over her.

  But somehow, those things were seeming less and less important. And more and more she was liking the idea of being part of a couple, of a team. Just Thad’s joking about Beau, and how they were co-parenting, made her feel good to be working with him on something even if it was a dog.

  She followed her GPS to the girls’ garage and got out, ahead of schedule by ten minutes.

  She’d visited the building several times. It wasn’t exactly brand-new, but it was nice and sturdy, and had everything they needed.