Separated

by Jessica Frances

  I should let her sleep and rest. My anger isn’t going to help her. But it’s hard to contain my rage right now.

  Conner whips off the sheet and moves to stand in my way, blocking me from pacing further. Then he holds out his hands and rests them on my chest. “Just try to calm down. Getting worked up about it isn’t going to help anyone.”

  “She’s my baby girl,” I croak out, my throat burning at just the idea of someone hurting her.

  “I know she is.” His voice is gentle as he moves to cup the side of my face before he runs it through my hair. The relief I instantly feel from his touch is addictive. “I know you like to fix things, but you aren’t going to be able to fix anything at ten o’clock at night.”

  “She gave me a few names. I’ll look up their parents and get their phone numbers and—”

  “Rocky,” Conner interrupts, his voice sharper. “It’s ten o’clock at night; you’re not calling anyone. You’re going to stop wearing out your carpet, and you’re coming to bed.” He drops his hands away from my hair and grabs both of my hands, pulling me over to the bed.

  “I can’t sleep when I’m like this, Conner. I need to do something.”

  “Then focus on helping me sleep. Remember the whole reason I’m staying over tonight?”

  I blink, reality crashing in on me.

  “Shit, I’m fucking letting everyone down. I can’t help River, and I can’t fucking figure out who is—”

  “Just shut up, Rocky!” Conner growls, pushing me onto the bed.

  If I didn’t feel so out of sorts, I might have been able to keep my balance, but I just fall onto my back.

  Conner rounds the side of the bed and crawls in. “This is not your fault. None of these things are your fault. Now, just shut up, wrap me in your magic arms, and help me get some decent sleep again, okay?”

  “You don’t want me to fuck you?” I know I sound frustrated, not exactly a sexy disposition.

  “Are you saying you’re in the mood for that?”

  I grimace, because I’m truly not. Not when I can’t get the image of River crying out of my head. Fucking Conner won’t help relieve the heartache I’m feeling.

  “Then give me your arms and, although it’s probably impossible, just try to shut that brain of yours off. A good night’s sleep is what you need to make the right decisions.”

  I shake my head at not just Conner but at this whole fucking situation. “Fine. Come here,” I grumble.

  As he slides against my body, I’m sure I’ll kick myself later for having him like this and not taking advantage of it.

  Once the bedside light is off, we both lie still. It takes Conner a lot longer to fall asleep. And though I’m still fuming, it’s nice to have him with me. I don’t feel so alone in this.

  I haven’t felt this way in years. In fact, maybe I’ve never felt this before.

  Chapter Seven

  Sitting outside my office, I take a long, deep breath, which does little to calm the rage still storming inside me. I just got back from dropping River off at school, making the trip into Paxton today after deciding I needed to have a strong word with River’s teacher and school principal.

  I glance down at my clenched phone and see several unopened messages from Conner.

  He knew what I was going to do when I suggested to River that I would drive her into school today. I avoided his gaze when I dropped him back off at Love’s after I made sure everything was fine and there were no more threatening letters or vandalism left behind.

  He slept deeply once he finally succumbed to his much-needed slumber. I, on the other hand, had a piss-poor sleep. I only lightly dozed, and those times never lasted more than a few minutes. By the time he woke up, I was still fuming about what River had told me. Conner could tell and tried to talk to me several times, but I blew him off, which I know probably upset him.

  I glance again at the three unopened messages next to his name in my message app.

  I thought talking to the principal and Mrs. Bull would make me feel better. I thought they would be as outraged as me, and that those girls who have been tormenting River would be severely punished. All I got was a discussion about bullying as a whole, about how to handle such things as a parent, and a promise that they would keep a closer eye on River, as well as have a talk with the girls and their parents.

  They perhaps said the right things but, as a parent, it didn’t feel good enough. I want justice for my little girl, and I want to be sure that nothing like this ever happens again.

  I didn’t get that assurance, which left me still feeling antsy and on edge.

  How the hell am I supposed to protect River when I can’t stop what happens to her when I’m not with her? I can’t control the world around her, and that pisses me the hell off.

  I click open Conner’s messages and read them one by one.

  Conner: River will not appreciate you going behind her back and doing whatever it is you’re gonna do.

  Conner: Rocky, you need to be calm before you act. Think this through with a clear head.

  Conner: You’re just going to ignore my messages? Seriously?

  That last one was sent an hour ago.

  I glance at the time, seeing that my meeting with Mayor Fuller starts in just five minutes. However, something tells me that putting off Conner any longer will not be good.

  Instead of replying, I call him.

  And he does not answer.

  This could be a coincidence, or a sign that he’s really pissed off at me.

  Seeing Mayor Fuller approaching my office, I put my phone away and make my way into the small space.

  “Sheriff Green, lovely to see you,” she greets me warmly.

  I’ve always liked June Fuller, not just because she’s friendly and a good person, but because she’s fiercely protective over Midsummer. She loves this town, maybe even more than I do.

  “Mayor Fuller,” I murmur as I shake her hand.

  Usually, June is a hugger, something I’ve learned over the years. You cannot avoid her hugs when she wants one. But, in professional situations like this, she accepts nothing but formal gestures.

  “It’s quiet in here,” she notes as I lead her through the main area and into my private office. “Any luck hiring someone to replace Deputy Smith?”

  “I had some interviews last week. I offered the job to one, and she accepted.”

  “She?” June asks with an approving smile. “Excellent. I look forward to meeting her.”

  After June’s ex-husband did his best to overpower her and control her life, June has loved empowering women and giving them a chance to shine. While she’s always maintained fairness, she has also surrounded herself with strong, successful women. I like that River gets to see so many women in power and in control. They’re great role models.

  “What can I do for you today?” I ask once she’s settled into the seat opposite mine.

  “I wanted to touch base with the Sunshine Carnival set for two weeks’ time.”

  I barely stop my eye roll from happening. This is the same every damn year.

  “It’s an annual event. It works like clockwork.”

  “I know, but I want this year to be extra special. Conner will be recording it, so I want it to look as exciting as possible. I’ve hired more rides and spoken to some of the neighboring farmers who have animals. They’ve agreed to set up a temporary pen for the children to see their animals and ride horses.”

  I nod, still not sure why she’s telling me this. “Sounds great, Mayor.”

  “James said his hotel is already full for the weekend. Our website is receiving hundreds of views a day, and I’ve already been contacted by neighboring towns, asking us how we’re managing to increase our social presence so flawlessly.”

  I wonder if her ex-husband, the mayor of Paxton, also made that phone call.

  “Conner is our secret weapon who is not exactly so secret anymore. I’m worried he might be lured to other towns and other places.”

 
; A fear I also share, even if our reasons are different. “I’m sure he’s had many offers.”

  Panic settles over her features before she’s able to compose herself. “I need to be sure he won’t leave us.”

  I wait for her to elaborate, but she just gives me a pointed look.

  “What are you asking me, exactly?”

  “I’m just making sure that your priority is Conner’s safety. Love has informed me of these threatening letters. I’m sure other towns would love to have him stay with them to film their towns instead of ours.”

  “You think one of the other towns is sending him hate mail to lure him away from Midsummer?”

  “I wouldn’t put it past them,” she admits before she leans forward in her seat, lowering her voice, though my door is closed and there’s no way anyone would be listening. “Love also informs me that our playboy sheriff has made a proper move. I’m happy to hear this, but I warn you not to mess this up.”

  I laugh in shock, yet there is no humor behind it. “Are you ordering me not to fuck up with Conner?”

  “Yes. I know you’ll be rusty, but a lot more rides on this than just your feelings. I want him happy here.”

  “With all due respect, Mayor Fuller, my relationship with Conner is none of your business. I don’t appreciate the demand or the pressure you’re putting on this. My private life has nothing to do with you or this town, and it never will.”

  She cocks her head but doesn’t appear angry with my words, just assessing.

  “Fine. Sorry I overstepped. Now, about this carnival …”

  ***

  “I hate you!”

  “River …” I grumble after her, but she pointedly ignores me, tapping her foot by our front door while she waits for me to let her into the house.

  I unlock the front door but wait before I open it. “You’re seriously not going to talk to me?”

  “Nope.” She exaggeratedly shakes her head.

  “Not even to tell me what I did wrong?”

  Her sharp glare is enough to know that whatever happened at school after I left has clearly traumatized her. Or, at least it has in her dramatic, everything-is-the-end-of-the-world, ten-year-old view.

  “Can you at least tell me if you’re okay? You didn’t have trouble with those girls, did you?”

  “Why do you want to know? So you can rat me and them out?”

  I sigh, assuming the teacher must have spoken to them. I was assured any talk would be confidential and that River would be protected.

  “Riv”—I reach out to touch her cheek, but she pulls back from me—“you know I love you, right?”

  “And I hate you.” She charges through the door, knocking past me.

  I listen to her stomping feet up the stairs and, soon after, a door slamming.

  Over the years, River and I have had our disagreements, and she sure threw some epic tantrums when she was little, but this feels different. It feels like this one isn’t going to just blow away after she has time to calm down.

  I frown as I close the door behind me and march my way into my downstairs study. I put my gun away in my safe then move into the kitchen to grab a beer.

  I drink half of it down in two gulps before I move into the lounger I have outside under a patio.

  River blasts her music from upstairs, and I suppose I should be grateful she’s too young to listen to any emo music, which likely matches her mood. She just has Ariel something screeching through her speakers. I can’t keep up with whoever is popular or not in the tween circles.

  I almost want to tell her to turn it down, but it isn’t too loud outside, and it’s early enough that I assume neighbors won’t be bothered with it. I’ll give her until dinner is ready to calm down.

  I pull out my phone and check to make sure I haven’t missed any calls or messages from Conner. I haven’t. I guess he’s another person who is pissed off at me right now.

  Almost as if I conjure him, his name pops up as he calls me.

  “Conner?” I answer immediately, worried something might be wrong.

  “Hey, sorry I missed your call earlier. Everything okay?”

  “Where have you been?”

  “Love took me on another hike. It was awesome, but we lost cell service for a while. We’re just back on the road now.”

  “You shouldn’t be going to places with no phone service while you’re getting threats,” I reprimand.

  “Geez, Dad, I’m sorry for having fun,” Conner teases.

  I smile, even though I don’t appreciate someone else hating on me. “Did you have fun?”

  “Hell yes!” Conner’s enthusiasm is contagious, and I feel a laugh bubbling in my chest for him.

  “I’m glad. Got some good footage?”

  “I sure did. You guys have some amazing treks out here. And you know what the best part was?”

  “What?”

  “No dead bodies!”

  Now I do laugh. “I’m happy no one died. Maybe Midsummer is turning over a new leaf for you.”

  “Yeah, hopefully. I swear the fresh air up there is just amazing. You guys should bottle it up and sell it!”

  “You propose it to Mayor Fuller, and I bet she would be on board.”

  Now Conner laughs. “You might be right. I have this long-ass email from her about the Sunshine Carnival. She left me a bunch of messages while I was out of reach, and then I guess she couldn’t be bothered waiting and wrote everything she wanted to say down. That woman is crazy.”

  “You might be right about that. She basically read me the riot act about making sure I don’t hurt you. I’ve known that woman for years and serve the same town that she lives and breathes, but I’m the one being put on notice!”

  “My own guardian angel,” Conner teases, his smile clear through the phone line.

  “More like your own she-devil.”

  “Now that doesn’t sound as nice.”

  There is a lull in our talking before I bite the bullet. “Listen, about not replying to you earlier. I—”

  “It’s okay, Rocky. You don’t have to apologize. I guess I was just feeling a bit sensitive because of the last time you ignored my messages and calls. I know you weren’t trying to upset me, and River is your daughter. Of course you’re going to do what you think is best. I don’t get a say in that.”

  “Maybe you should,” I say with a sigh, relieved that he’s not angry with me but still on edge since River is.

  “Shit. What happened?”

  “You hear this?” I hold my phone up in the air, taking another sip of beer with my free hand, before I pull the phone back to my ear.

  “Is that …? Is that Ariel Autumn?”

  “River currently has her blasting from her bedroom.”

  “She doesn’t strike me as the type to blast music.”

  “She’s usually not. But, right now, she’s furious with me.”

  “Uh-oh. What did you end up doing?”

  I sigh. What I did wasn’t so bad, was it?

  “I just went in and spoke to her principal and teacher. I told them who had been bullying her, and I told them I wanted it stopped.”

  “And so they then pulled the girls aside, and they got in trouble, which then pissed them off more, and now they’re really gunning for River?”

  My spine snaps straight while my jaw tightens. “You think that’s what happened? I have no idea what went on. River isn’t talking to me, except to inform me that she hates me.”

  “Aw, shit. I’m sorry. That must suck to hear. You know she doesn’t mean it, right?”

  I huff as I deflate back in the seat. “Yeah. It still hurts to have her say it.”

  “You want some company?”

  “Not really, but I would love your company. And it might be good to have a witness with me in case River tries to stab me with her fork tonight at dinner.”

  Conner scoffs. “You sure know how to make a romantic offer. Love and I are still on the road. Think you can protect yourself for another hour?”
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  “I’ll try my best. Then again, I’m not sure if my ears will still be willing to hear again if I have to keep listening to this crap.”

  “I’ll have you know Ariel is a musical genius.”

  “I’ll have to take your word for it.”

  “Just hold on until I get there.”

  “You must like me if you’re willing to put up with the wrath of River.”

  “Don’t put too much stock into it. She’s not pissed at me.”

  I grunt as he laughs before he hangs up. Then I settle my phone on my lap, finishing off my beer.

  I stare out over my backyard, noting I need to mow the lawn and pull up some weeds in the corner flowerbed.

  Before Conner, I would have felt dread at how River was mad at me. I would have felt frustrated and useless as to how to make things better. Add in my job that is always stressful, and all the shit around the house I want to do but never seem to have the energy or the time and, right now, I would be overwhelmed and maybe even feeling a little sorry for myself. Instead, eclipsing most of that is excitement that Conner is coming over.

  For some reason, I just know that he’ll either know the right thing to say or be able to give me the right piece of advice to fix this. And even if he can’t, just having him here will help.

  I’ve never had that before. Not with Sophie before she left and not with anyone since she left.

  Is that what everyone feels who’s in a relationship?

  ’Cause this feels damn nice.

  Chapter Eight

  “River, you need to come out of your room. Your dinner is getting cold.”

  “I’m not hungry!” she yells through the door.

  “You don’t get to skip meals, River. Not in this house,” I argue back.

  “I said I’m not hungry!”

  “Don’t make me come in there and get you!”

  “This is my room, and you’re not allowed in here. I hate you!”

  I want to roll my eyes at her words, even as they cut deeper every time she yells them.

  “Let me have a try,” Conner suggests, squeezing my hand before he passes me to stand in front of her door. “River, it’s me.”