About a Woman, a Zombie Chronicles Novel

by Mark Clodi

  She picked out the hammer and then noticed the circle of wire. Nodding to herself she pulled it out and tossed it up into the vent. Laying the grate sideways and flat she pushed it into the vent as well before crawling in herself. Once inside she ignored Paige's requests about what was going on and contorted herself to get turned around.

  'Funny how the pain in my neck isn't bothering me that much now.' Dora thought to herself as she moved around. She then ran the wire through the slots of the vent, threading the one loose end through the mounting bracket so she could get a good grip on it. Working quickly she slide the grate out and turned it up the right way, then used the wire to pull it close to the vent opening. It didn't line up perfectly, but it was close enough. She twisted the rest of the roll of wiring around the other mounting bracket and let go of it, the grate sagged a little, but stayed in place.

  Looking over her body she told Paige and Mike to be quiet, very quiet, because the infected were getting into the room. Paige, who had been watching Dora closely, told Mike to stop working and stand still. Then whispered to Dora, "Are they in?"

  Dora nodded, she kept her eyes glued to the hole in the wall, which was now big enough for someone to crawl through. She saw bits of the naked woman trying to get through the wall, then the suit wearing zombie made a play to get past her, trying to worm his way into the room. He wasn't successful and was pressed sideways by the fat woman and it was she who finally was the first to crawl through the hole, coming through the opening like a maggot going through meat. The others could hear the noise as fatty knocked over a chair and slipped around on the books and binders on the floor, finally standing she shifted weight and her bare foot came down on the porn magazine Mike had been so infatuated with earlier. The glossy magazine proved to be a slippery surface and she went down again. The suit chose that time to scramble into the room, crawling right on top of and then over the woman. It was all Dora could do not to laugh. On the one hand she was more scared than she had ever been, on the other the scene was comical, who could be afraid of such a fat woman and her little shrunken companion? She held her breath and didn't let out a peep, watching as both zombies righted themselves and stood up.

  Their brains may have been rotting, but they both still seemed to realize that with no other exits in the room their prey should still be there. Slowly their eyes tracked the walls, checked out under the desk and then made their way to the grate set in the wall.

  The fat woman lifted her arm to point at the grate in the wall.

  'No way!' thought Dora, 'No way she can see me and the wires were too small to be noticed that quickly. It's like they have some sort of x-ray vision or maybe a strong sense of smell.' Dora could smell the sweat of 'teenage boy' and 'fat woman' quite clearly. Well, there was nothing to do about it, except try and help Mike clear the way onto the roof. Dora backed up and ran into Paige.

  "Mike through yet?" she asked the woman.

  "No you told us to quiet down." said Paige.

  "Oh yeah." said Dora, "Don't worry about being noisy now, they know where we are. Get that vent open Mike!"

  "Uh, okay. I dropped my screwdriver." Mike told her.

  "Well pick it up, it's not like it could go far in the vent, right?"

  "It slipped out of my hand, went through the hole onto the roof."

  "Shit! You are aware that we are fighting for our lives here right? I won't die because you fat fingered a screwdriver, get the fucking vent opened so we can get out of here before they get in!"

  Mike mumbled something under his breath then shifted position in the vent until his feet were up against the hole he had been enlarging near the seam.

  "Oh, I got this little hammer too, if you think it would help." Dora called to him.

  Mike was straining, pushing with his legs up against the edge of the vent, the seam gave away slowly and steadily, until it hit a supporting bracket on the roof, then it would give no more. The hole was still too small. Dora might fit through it, but only if Mike were pushing against it and she crawled through at the same time.

  To Paige, Dora said, "We are going to get close and personal real quick, honey. Try not to get your stink on me, okay?" and then she wrestled by the woman to get close to Mike. "You push and I will get through and try and get something from the outside. On the count of three, ready? One. Two. Three!"

  The fit wasn't that tight, Dora made it through with hardly a scrape and she felt good to be out of the confines of the stuffy office and into the bright morning sun. She took a deep breath and stood up. When she did so, she caught sight of several other infected people coming towards the restaurant. Leaning over she called back in, "More of them are coming. We gotta get you guys out of there."

  "Dora?" called Paige, "They are at the grate."

  "Which one do you see there Paige?"

  "The woman, the big woman."

  "Oh then that is alright, she is fatter than you and I don't think she will fit through the hole. If you see the small guy up there give me a scream."

  "And then what?"

  "Well, I will know you two are fucked and can leave off trying to get you out. Shut up and let me think here a minute."

  Paige shut up and Dora looked around the roof. The top was lined with large stones, not pebbles, but pretty hefty rocks. She bent and picked one of those up and started pounding on the bracket that was preventing the vent opening from getting any wider. The rock broke into two after about ten hits. "Jesus Christ! They don't make rocks like they used to."

  She heard a banging from inside the vent. "What is going on in there Mike?"

  "They are hitting the vent. I think the fat woman is. It's bending."

  "Gotcha!"

  Paige picked up the hammer and looked at the bracket, the hammer was tiny and the bracket was huge, large enough to hold the ductwork steady in the high winds that tore through the city from time to time. She gave it a couple of hits anyway but nothing happened. Picking up the screw driver she told Mike to back his feet away and started pounding it through the thin metal alongside the bracket, then she pounded the metal down and had Mike push it back up, doing this several times they weakened a line of the metal and made the opening about six inches wider and Mike didn't have to hold his feet against it either. Looking at the hole Dora thought that would be enough.

  "C'mon guys get out now. It's wide enough."

  Mike didn't need to be told twice, he slithered through the opening quickly, while Paige lined herself up for her attempt.

  "The guy is there, they got the grating off, but it is still bent around and hanging by the wires you used, so he is having a hard time." Paige thrust herself up through the hole, then stopped as her belly halted all forward progress. She could not push through. To make matters worse the metal sides acted as a trap, preventing her from ducking back down into the duct so they could make the hole wider.

  "Hm. This doesn't look good Paige, push harder." Dora told her.

  Sweat broke out on Paige's face as she pushed with her legs as hard as she could. "I can't do it!"

  "Bullshit bitch, stop fucking around and push!" Dora grabbed one of the woman's hands while Mike grabbed the other and they all three strained with the effort of pulling Paige through the hole.

  Paige let out a shriek, "Something touched me!" then started frantically kicking and jerking about, her uniform top was soaking through with sweat and she finally gave an adrenaline empowered thrust that popped her out of the vent sending all three of them onto the rooftop in a heap.

  "God you two reek! And, Paige starting now you are on a diet. No more chips or candy for you until you are size six again."

  "I skipped size six." Paige mumbled, checking the scrapes on her stomach.

  Mike rolled away from the two women and approached the vent cautiously, Dora propped herself up on her elbows and watched Paige examining her belly.

  "God my gut hurts, it's gonna be bruised." Paige said.

  "Hey c'mere!" Mike said.

  The women got to thei
r feet and looked into the vent, it was empty. Dora saw the little man's head pop up at the far end in the office. She wrinkled her face and said, "Shit he wasn't even in the vent yet! You just freaked yourself out. Good thing though, I don't think we could have gotten you out otherwise."

  Paige blushed, "I swore I felt something grabbing my legs."

  The other two looked at her pants and shoes, expecting maybe a rip or a tear, but her pants looked fine to them.

  Shrugging Paige said, "Meh, no big deal, we are out. Let's pound this thing back down and put a bunch of rocks on it."

  "The rocks won't hold it." said Mike.

  "Duh. The rocks are so if they are all quiet like we will hear them fall off and know they are coming out this way." Dora tapped the side of her head, "I got brains in here, I use 'em too. Try using yours once in a while smart boy."

  Mike flushed and Paige rose to his defense. "Are you always this much of a bitch?"

  "Only to my friends." Dora smiled, "See? You two are moving up in the world, to have a friend like me."

  Shaking her head Paige went to look at the parking lot and try and figure a way to get down from the roof. More infected were coming towards the building all the time, they were slow and they all went into the building when they got there, she could not tell how many were inside. Mike and Dora bent the metal back down into shape and then piled about fifty rocks on top of it, until it started to sag down into the vent, when they were finished they went to stand by Paige near the back of the building.

  "We can get down here, make it to my car." Paige said.

  "You got a car Mike?" Dora asked, eyeing Paige's dilapidated old beater.

  Mike shook his head. "My dad dropped me off for my shift, my clutch is getting fixed."

  "Well then I guess we go with Paige's plan. How are we going to do this dear?"

  "The dumpster is right there, we can walk on the grease vat, its lid is solid and then climb over the wall and drop down and run to the car."

  "Does your car work okay? I mean, in the movies they always run to the car and it doesn't want to start, then there is a big suspenseful scene where it catches at the last possible moment. I would rather do things without the drama if we can."

  Paige's lips moved slowly mouthing 'Without the drama' a couple of times, before she shook her head, as if to clear out some random thought, "It got me here today."

  "How's the fat? You gonna be able to make the drop and run?"

  "I'm fine." Paige answered brusquely, turning from Dora in embarrassment.

  Dora reached out her arm and turned back to face her and Mike. "It wasn't an insult. If you can't run you better let Mike or me go and start the car, then pull it closer to the building. I don't want you to hit the ground and crumple. I don't think Mike and I could carry you."

  Flushing even deeper Paige looked Dora in the eye and said, "I am fine, it's just bruised."

  "Okay, let's do this then." Dora sat her butt on the edge of the building, then rolled over onto her stomach and lowered herself down. She dropped onto the grease container and walked across it to the red metal fence that blocked it from the parking lot view. Mike did the same and Paige came down without any problems. The three of them had not gotten the attention of any of the infected moving towards the building yet. Before they vaulted the gate, Dora held her hand up and turned to Paige.

  "Get your keys out."

  "What? Why?"

  "First, so we know you have them and they are not in your purse inside, and second so you can get the doors unlocked when we get to the car."

  Paige fished around in her front pocket and came up with an electronic key for her car. She pressed a button on it and the car's lights flashed and they all heard the sound of it unlocking. Unfortunately some of the infected either saw the lights or heard the sound too, a group of them were shambling towards the car now.

  Dora vaulted the fence like a pro and was halfway to the car before Mike or Paige had even gotten over the fence. She pulled open the front passenger door with a yell of "Shotgun!" and had it shut just as the other two were getting down from the fence. Despite the adrenaline surged rush, the infected were far too slow to catch them. Paige slid into the driver's seat the same time Mike scrambled into the back. They both shut and locked their doors and Dora told Mike to lock the other rear door as well. Paige pressed the ignition button and the car coughed to life. Dora noted with some satisfaction that the car had half a tank of gas too.

  Both Mike and Paige turned towards Dora and said, "Where to?" at the same time.

  Chapter 7

  "Pull out of here first, before those guys get any closer. Get onto the street, take a left. We can go crash at my place, it's like a mile away. I don't have any cloths that will fit you Paige, but could scrounge something up for Mike."

  "Thanks. Clothing was my first concern." said Paige sarcastically.

  "Well it should be, plus we all need showers, we're filthy!"

  Mike stammered, "I should call my dad."

  "I ain't stopping ya."

  Paige, still driving, asked, "Okay where do I go from here?"

  "Fairmount Estates. You know the way?"

  Paige just looked at her, "You live in a gated community?"

  "Yes darling, now speed us along, I wrecked my car and my nerves are just shot this morning. Get me home Paige."

  "Rich bitch." Paige muttered under her breath. Dora heard, as she was supposed to and just smiled and nodded.

  In the back seat Mike was talking to his frantic father, the conversation was not going well. Mike got off his phone and said, "I need to go home."

  "Me first, Mikey. We are almost there now. You can call your dad again after that."

  Mike looked out the window and didn't say anything. Paige pulled her car up to the security gate and looked over at Dora for the pin number to open the gate up. Dora smiled and said, "I can't give it out to you. If I did that everyone would have it! You know your face looks very ugly when you do that. I am just kidding of course, just winding you up a bit. The pin is one four three two, which is also my street number, very not clever, right? I am surprised we don't have more robbery's here, I really am. Plus to get out just takes making the motion sensors go off, you could get in by throwing a basketball over the gate and waiting for it to open automatically. Stupid really."

  Paige snorted, "Geez do you want to tell me where you hide your spare keys to get in too?"

  "Under the stone in my potted plant on the front stoop. I mean, really I could leave the door unlocked, with all the heavy security around here anyway."

  They drove about two blocks into the community with Dora calling out directions in a haphazard way, which required a trip around the block to arrive in the correct driveway.

  "So. Here we are." Dora looked at Paige, who looked back.

  "Yeah, get out." said Paige.

  "What?"

  "You're home, Mike needs to be brought home, so you need to get out."

  "I thought we would stick together during this time of crisis? Don't you dare abandon me Paige Lynn!"

  "Paige Lynn? My middle name is not 'Lynn'."

  "Oh? You look like a Paige Lynn to me. Anyway the TV said to get into your home and stay there, I thought we could crash here."

  "Us? With you?"

  "Sure I saved your lives already, so I am useful. Plus I have organic eggs and probably some good beer, oh and a virtual cellar full of very good wine." Roger would hate it if even one bottle were drank, which is why Dora was planning to foist as many off on her guests as she could.

  "I'm twenty, Mike is seventeen, we can't drink yet. Not legally."

  "In my house, you follow my rules, don't you worry about the law in times of crisis."

  "You seriously think you can bribe us to stay here with alcohol?"

  Mike's door opened and he got out. He looked sheepishly away from Paige as she looked angrily out the window at her. "Besides we should keep our heads about us, we got infected people running around and, and…
"

  "And what?" asked Dora getting out of the car.

  "And… the governor said not to break any laws!"

  Dora threw back her head and laughed through the open car door. "Oh honey, that's great. Now shut off the car and come inside so we can decide what to do."

  Still mad Paige shut off the car and followed the other two into the house.

  Dora waited until Paige came inside then said, "Lock the door honey, we don't need any baddies getting in."

  Fuming Paige turned and locked the door behind her, "We are only here for a few minutes, I have to get Mike home. Right Mike?"

  "Ah, maybe…" he mumbled.

  "Relax, we are all safe here, don't rock the boat any Paige dear. Mike call your dad, you too Paige if you need to I still have an old fashioned land line. I'll go upstairs and find you something to wear. Turn on the cable when you are done and by all means help yourself to anything to eat or drink. Don't pilfer the silverware or steal any trinkets." With that said Dora headed upstairs leaving them alone.

  "Call your dad, then lets blow, she is fine here." said Paige after Dora was out of sight.

  "No, I would rather stay here, my old man, he is fine."

  "You'd rather stay here with her? You've got to be kidding."

  "She's funny."

  "A stuck up bitch is more like it. What's so funny about her?"

  "She thinks she is right about everything. That's funny." said Mike.

  "How exactly?"

  "Oh knock it off Paige! I saw you laughing too, when we first ran into her. You're just pissed because she is ordering us around."

  Paige thought for a minute before answering, "I still don't like her. You should call your dad anyway, let him know you are safe. I'll call my parents and try and get ahold of my roommates."