Push & Pull

by Allie York

  “Meredith, I need you to listen,” I stroked her hair, “I’m not arguing this with you again. You are mine. The only way for me to prove it is to just do it, so I will. I’m thirty-two, Doll, and like you said I fucked up, but I’m not a fucking child, so stop telling me what I want,” she laughed a little, “I know everything is so fucked up right now, you can’t seem to catch a break, but if you give me some of these issues, I can handle it. I want this so bad. So, you keep pushing, and I’ll just keep pulling you back, and eventually, you’ll see.”

  Before Meredith could answer, a doctor poked his head in, “Oh, do you need a moment?”

  Meredith shook her head, wiped her eyes, and sat up, “No, sorry, today just scared me.”

  “Very understandable. So, I understand you had a fainting episode. With diabetes, pregnancy, and all the changes happening to your body makes glucose regulation very difficult. Sometimes it’s too high, other times it bottoms out, and it doesn’t matter that you have done everything right. Everything looks fine as far as vitals and such, but you are going to need to test more frequently, and possibly change dosing a little. Any sign of a headache or dizziness, and you need to check your levels again. Your A1C is pretty unstable I’m guessing, but it’s not unmanageable and once you deliver, I would highly recommend a pump,” The doctor took a breath and Meredith nodded, “Now, you need to follow up with the OB as soon as possible. I also don’t recommend driving for the next few hours, or showering alone. And if you feel like this again, definitely don’t get behind the wheel. A fall or an accident would make the problems worse. I’ll get your papers together.” Well, that was quick.

  “Thank you,” Meredith whispered as the doctor left us alone again. I kissed her temple, “I told you this is a mess, Beck. A big ugly mess, and I don’t want you dragged into it.”

  “You’re my mess, now get that ugly gown off and let’s get back to your birthday celebration.” Meredith rolled her eyes, but did what I said and kissed me as soon as she was dressed. Eventually, she would learn that pushing me away was pointless.

  Chapter Eleven

  Meredith

  By the time I signed the papers and met Beck out front, I was so ready for a nap it wasn’t funny. I wanted to sleep for an hour and wake pretending it was morning and start the day over. Unfortunately, I walked out to the lobby for a screaming match between my mother and Beck that had everyone’s attention. I hung back for a minute, watching the whole ER lobby stare at the drama like an episode of Maury. Cori tried to jump in, but Griff kept pulling her back, telling her to let them work it out. It was like walking into my own made for TV drama for everyone to see.

  “I’m not losing her again! Not to another drug addict, not to anyone!” My mother’s tears sucked, but the pain on Beck’s face broke me. He wasn’t an addict, but slinging around the insult had to hurt him. He looked like my Mom had slapped him.

  “I’m not taking her anywhere! I live here, I work here, and she’s an adult. She’s not stupid either, why is everyone treating her like she can’t make a damn decision without her hand being held?” Beck screamed back.

  “They wouldn’t let her mother back because her husband was back with her! You lied about being married, or it better be a lie!” Mom wiped her face and I came between them, stepping next to Beck, “Are you married, Meredith?”

  “No, but I asked him to go back with me and they wouldn’t have let him otherwise. You need to stop, Mom, please. I just want to go home and rest.” I tried to keep from crying, but my birthday was awful and I needed to cry. I felt completely better, not even a headache until I walked out to the waiting room.

  “You have no idea what you put us through Meredith, none, and now you’re doing it again. You have no business being in a relationship, especially not a serious one and with someone like him!” The whole lobby stared, and Mom turned to stick her finger in Beck’s face, “What do you even want with her? That baby isn’t yours!”

  Beck tightened his grip on my shoulder and his jaw ticked, “I think I should go,” I started to argue, but he kissed me, “Call me later, Doll. Happy Birthday.” Beck made it out the door to the sidewalk and out of sight before I tore after him, leaving Cori screaming at Mom in the ER waiting room with Griffin trying to pull her back toward the exit. I knew the mess I made, the hurt I caused, but it wasn’t Beck’s fault and I needed him. Thankfully, I was feeling better because I ran after him, catching him at the driver’s door of his car.

  “Wait,” I grabbed his shoulder, but he didn’t turn to face me, “Some pretend husband you are. You left me with them. You always throw your fake wife to the wolves?”

  He finally turned around and I backed him into the car and pressed against him, “I can only take so much, and you getting sick again was it for today.”

  “It’s my birthday.”

  “It is, Doll. What do you want to do?” He finally wrapped his arms around me, and I laid my head on his chest, thinking up an answer, “Whatever you want.” Beck promised.

  “Call Briggs,” I looked up at his confused expression, “Tell him to leave work and meet us at the courthouse,” His light brown eyes went wide and his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, “Unless you don’t want to, or don’t want him there.”

  Beck tipped my head up and kissed my forehead. A pit opened in my chest when I realized he was about to reject me, “I don’t like your reason, but who am I to question your decisions?” I smiled and bounced on my toes, “Call Cori, I like her being on my team, and she’ll go back to hating me if I marry her sister without her there,” I jumped up to kiss him and was lifted off the ground, “You are insane and I love it,” Once my feet were on the ground, I ran to the passenger side and opened the door, “Tell her an hour, we need to find a jewelry store first.”

  We landed in the seats at the same time, and I kissed his cheek, texting Cori to meet us downtown in an hour. He called Briggs, and we peeled out of the lot, “Are you sure? I know you’ve said it, but I figured you were joking until Dad said men don’t joke about getting married.”

  Beck glanced at me, “We don’t, and I’m positive,” He took my hand and kissed the back, then shifted lanes to get to the nearest jewelry store. Broadway Jeweler was halfway between the hospital and the old courthouse in an old brick building. It was one of those staples of the community that lasted through the years, never being affected by the fancier jewelry stores or box stores. He pulled me across the seat and kissed me hard, “You sure?” I nodded and Beck smiled, “Then we need rings.”

  “How can I help you?” the perky sales woman greeted us as soon as we walked in.

  “We need wedding bands,” Beck looked down at me, “Do you need an engagement ring?” I looked between the lady and my future husband and shrugged. I didn’t care either way. Beck and I could get married with a knot of string and I’d be happy.

  “Of course, she needs an engagement ring. When’s the big day?” She tipped her head for us to follow her to the counter, “I’m Stella.”

  “Beck and Meredith. The big day is in an hour. So, let’s see how good you are at your job.” Stella whipped around to look at Beck and he winked at her.

  “Alright, Beck and Meredith,” Stella laid a black ring display box on the counter, “Here are the ones we have that are bridal sets. It has the matching engagement and wedding bands. Sizes?” Stella was a woman determined, not about to lose a quick sale.

  “Six.” I answered quickly.

  “No idea, Stella,” Beck nudged the box toward me and I scanned the choices while Stella figured out Beck’s size, “Whatever you want, Doll.” I blushed and scanned the box. Lots of diamond solitaires of different qualities filled the box, but if we were being crazy, I wanted something different. My eyes landed on the perfect ring. The wedding band was just a thin gold band with diamonds along the top, but the engagement ring was a diamond, maybe half a carat, nothing too big, set in gold with a pink stone on either side. Beck and Stella had moved down to the next case, so I p
icked it up and slid it on. I stared for a minute, tears stinging my eyes. Maybe it wasn’t going to be fancy, but having Beck willing to be a pretend husband made me want him as my real one. There was nothing extravagant about the rings, and it was a little girlie for my normal taste, but it was too pretty to pass up. I never was the kind of girl who imagined what my engagement and wedding rings would look like, but once I saw it on my hand, I was sold.

  “Oh, it’s stunning on you,” Stella appeared across the counter and Beck stepped next to me, “That’s the one.” I nodded and wiped my eyes.

  Beck slid a hand around my waist and flashed me his left hand. A dark metal band looked sexy as hell on his ring finger, “Does marriage look good on me?” He took my hand and studied my ring, “It looks damn good on you.” His right hand rested on my stomach and he kissed my ear.

  “Marriage looks perfect on you,” I took the rings off and handed them to Stella, “I’m buying his.” Before Beck could argue, I whipped my card out and handed it to Stella. Beck handed her his card, and kissed the top of my head.

  “When are we talking about the logistics of this? My wife won’t be living in a different house.” Beck whispered in my ear and I shrugged. He took his card back, handed me mine, and took our bags.

  “Thank you, Stella!” I waved back at her as the door closed and Beck dragged me to the car, “Will your mom be upset?” He opened my car door and jogged to his side. I had given zero thought to living arrangements or talking to his mother. I just wanted Beck to know it didn’t matter what Mom called him, or what happened before me, I chose him. I wanted Mom to see Beck and I were a good thing, a wonderful thing, and not a mistake. Maybe I needed to prove it to myself too. Marriage seemed like the best solution until I started thinking too hard.

  “No way. Ma will be thrilled, but your mom is going to go on a killing spree,” He turned the car over, “You gonna answer me, Doll?”

  “I don’t want to think this through right now. I want to go marry you and deal with the rest later,” I leaned over to kiss him again, “Besides, you bought me a mini fridge, what else do I need?”

  Beck merged into traffic, “I’ll get your stuff moved this weekend, and your name changed Monday. I’ll call HR about insurance and changing my benefits around,” Beck had thought it through much more than I had which made me think he was serious from the beginning. “Why didn’t you marry Zeke? You two were together for years.” I watched his jaw tic and his grip on the wheel tighten.

  “He never asked, and I wouldn’t have anyway. I thought I loved him, but it was all infatuation. I obviously knew it then, deep down, that it wasn’t love,” He glanced at me, nodded once, and gripped the wheel tighter, “Beck, it’s not fair for you to get upset about Zeke.”

  “I’m not upset... Ok, I am, but not in a jealous way. Not much at least,” He parked at a meter a few blocks from the courthouse, “I just hate what you went through.” Beck leaned in and slid his hands into my hair. His forehead touched mine and both of us closed our eyes, “If you aren’t ready for this, don’t do it. I’d wait forever, but I am the happiest motherfucker on the planet right now.”

  I let his words fill me before touching his face gently, “Let’s go get married.” His lips touched mine, softly, then with more force. He nibbled my lip and slid his tongue into my mouth, when a knock on my window made us both groan. Cori jerked my door open and handed me a little bouquet of flowers.

  “You’ve lost your mind,” The voice behind Cori made me shove my middle sister. Arianna smiled at me, matching bouquet in hand, “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not missing my baby sister getting married, no matter how insane this is,” I hugged her, tears filling my eyes again, “Just take care of her, Beck Layton, or I will bring a whole lot of crazy women to your doorstep.”

  Beck took my hand when I let go of Ari, “I’ll take care of them.” She smiled her approval and we all walked up the wide steps to find Briggs waiting by the door. He smiled, shook his head, and held the door for us, mumbling about us being crazy, and Beck always getting what he wants.

  We went through security, took the stairs to the officiant’s office, and sat to fill out paperwork. Beck kept his arm around me while I filled out the forms, writing in birthdates, our mutual address, and blood types. We turned the forms in, Beck paid the fees, and we waited for our turn. The couple ahead of us came out, looking happy as hell, and a nervous knot formed in my stomach. Marriage meant forever in my mind, and I hoped it meant the same for him.

  “I don’t believe in divorce,” Beck whispered in my ear, “So, back out now if you aren’t sure, Doll.”

  “Me either,” Beck smiled at me, “Oh, and I’m the jealous type, so be prepared.” I winked at him, trying to ease my own nerves.

  “Me, too. It’s like we’re meant to be,” The old man opened the door and called our names. Beck stood first and offered his hand as the gravity of what we were doing spread over me. It seemed like a good idea just an hour before, but suddenly it scared me to death. I took his hand and Beck pulled me to him, “Don’t think too much, Doll. I love you. I love the baby and won’t let a single day go by that you don’t hear me say it.”

  “Let’s do this.” We were all led into a room with a tacky arch and fake flowers by the old man who looked like he could have married my grandparents sixty years ago. Beck pressed his ring into my hand and we stood where we were supposed to, facing each other. The man started by asking my sisters and his brother if we were in love and all of them agreed we were. We were in love, or certifiable, probably the latter. He went on about commitment and what marriage means. He talked about partnerships and taking care of each other. We may not have been an equal partnership, but Beck and I needed each other, more than either of us would admit. He saved me, over and over, with every kiss and every smile, every trip to the ER. I grounded him, gave him a reason to keep going, and made him the man he was supposed to be. Maybe we aren’t as crazy as I think.

  The man went through the worn-out line of richer or poorer, sickness and health, and I slid Beck’s ring on with my shaking hand, “I do.”

  The old man repeated the same line for Beck, but I didn’t hear it, I only saw Beck staring at me with the biggest, goofiest smile on his face. He pushed the rings on my finger, “I do.” Before we were told to kiss, Beck had his arms around me and I was dipped back into a kiss straight from the movies. Briggs whistled, and Beck jerked me back upright.

  My sisters were both crying and hugging everyone, keeping Beck and I together to hug us, “You two are completely insane, but who am I to judge. Just don’t run off, Mere.” Ari kissed my cheek and led our group out of the tacky room and we grabbed our marriage certificate and other paperwork before Cori shoved us outside.

  Cori snatched my hand up and sighed, “This is beautiful, Mere,” She hugged Beck, “Party is in two hours, I need to go get ready. See you two in a while?” Cori had a hand on either of our shoulders.

  “I can’t miss my own party, Cori. Thanks for coming,” Cori ran down the steps and Ari chased her, promising to see us at my party, “What now?”

  “Go tell Ma before someone else does,” Briggs patted Beck on the back, “Congratulations, man. Took you a third the time it took me.” Briggs tucked his hands in his pockets and jogged down the stairs, leaving us alone on the courthouse steps.

  “Believe me now, Doll?” Beck kissed the top of my head and I sighed, “I don’t like your reason for being impulsive, but I got everything I want out of the deal, so I won’t call you out on it.”

  I shook my head, “I guess the final test comes in February, but you married me knowing I was a plus one.”

  “Can’t wait,” I got that sexy smirk and swooned a little, “Now, let’s go tell Ma and check out your presents, Mrs. Layton.” I almost forgot it was my birthday. Fortunately, my weird blood sugar spike was short-lived, and I recovered quickly this time. Beck walked us back to the car, opened my door, then closed it for me. I called my doctor back on the way to his h
ouse, our house, and made an appointment for Monday. Beck called work to tell his boss that I was fine and he would need off for my appointment for my ultrasound the next week. Beck rested a hand on my knee and we rode in silence to his house, him fiddling with the rings on my finger.

  He parked on the curb and tipped his head at the driveway. My mouth fell open and I quickly covered it with my hand.

  BECK

  “You bought me a car?” Meredith shrieked, whipping her head between me and the red CRV in the driveway. I even put a bow on it, “Beck, please say you didn’t buy me a car.”

  “I didn’t buy you a car. I had a new windshield put in it, had it tuned up, put four new tires on it, and had it detailed. So, no, Doll, I didn’t buy you a car,” She stared at me with her mouth hanging open, “Did you think I could let my wife be without a car? How are you going to get the baby all over town?”

  Then the tears started, “Oh my god, Beck. You didn’t have to do that. Can we go look?” She didn’t let me answer before she had the door open and was running toward the car. Meredith brushed her hand over the hood to the driver’s door, “Beck,” I got to her and she threw herself in my arms, “I can’t believe you did this.”

  “Let’s go tell Ma and then you can drive us to Griffin’s,” I dipped my head and kissed her. Meredith gave it back, grabbing the back of my neck to pull me closer. Maybe we were crazy as hell, but if it kept my Doll by my side, then getting married on a whim was the perfect choice. Not like I could get her pregnant to keep her with me, so getting married and raising the baby she was having would have to do. My mind shut off entirely when her tongue teased my mouth. My dick jumped to attention and I pressed her back into the car. I ran my hand into her hair and tugged lightly, “You’re all mine now, Doll,” I nipped down her neck and she pulled me closer, nodding, “I’m gonna have you under me every chance I get, giving you those proper fuckings you’ve been missing.”