I'm not sure what I expected, but Wreg's eyes lit up, taking me aback.
"You've been through this too, right?" Wreg said, still watching me, a sharp light of hope in his eyes. "...The waking up part, I mean. The possessiveness thing? Nenz told me you had all of that fairly early on with him, too..."
"Did he now?" I said, giving Revik a mock questioning look, maybe in an effort to lighten the mood.
"Could you just explain to him that this is normal?" Wreg said, as if I hadn't spoken. "Maybe if he just remembers that you went through all of the same––"
Revik clicked loudly though, cutting him off.
I glanced up, a little surprised when I saw him glance sharply between the two of us. I saw the faint worry in his eyes, though, especially when his eyes met mine.
"No. It's just...I don't know, Wreg." He focused directly on the other man, his voice apologetic. "Jon doesn't feel all that stable to me right now. Neither of you do, brother, if you want the truth. Are you sure he won't hurt my wife?"
I looked at Revik, giving a startled laugh. When I saw his eyes, though, I realized he wasn't in any way joking. He continued to look at me, that vague worry more prominent in his gaze.
"Maybe we could send Balidor," Revik suggested after a pause. "Or one of the others? Yumi, perhaps? They are friends, are they not?"
Wreg's eyes hardened to coal. "No. Are you kidding me? Fuck, no. That bitch already wants to get into his pants..."
I sighed a little, rolling my eyes. "He's gay, Wreg."
Wreg glared at me. "Respectfully, Esteemed Bridge, he's seer now...do you really think those distinctions matter all that much any more?"
Revik cut us both off, giving me a warning look. "Maybe I could go," he said. "Honestly, I'm not okay with it being Allie. Definitely not if she went over there unexpectedly...but not even if we warned him. I'm not willing to risk it, brother. Do not ask me to. Please."
I found myself staring at Revik again, but I could tell from his expression that he was dead serious. He'd never interfered in anything between me and Jon before, so that uncompromising look on his face threw me. I considered trying to find Jon with my light, but Revik blocked that, too, giving me a harder look. His light had a thread of apology in it again, almost a pleading woven in with the warning, but his expression didn't budge.
"Please, Allie," he said, quieter. "I'm making a formal request."
I blinked at him, startled again. I could count on one hand the number of times he'd played that card with me. He really didn't want me going to Jon's room.
"Can you feel him?" I said. "Is it really that bad?"
"I felt enough," Revik said. "...Before he kicked me out of his light. He's irate that Wreg's even here. In fact," Revik said, glancing back at the other male. "We really should go down to the bar. Let him feel you there, with Jax and some of the others. Then I'll go talk to him, if you want. But I think if we do anything before that, he's going to lose his shit. Really."
I found myself listening to all of this with that same thread of disbelief.
"This is Jon we're talking about," I said. "Right? I mean...Mr. Level-Headed? He was always sanity guy with this stuff. With relationships, I mean."
"Not anymore," Revik said. He looked at Wreg. "Your light. You noticed the changes, didn't you? Since Argentina, I mean?"
Wreg nodded, his expression looking miserable again. He combed his fingers through wet hair, and I found myself staring at him, and at his light, until Revik shoved me back almost roughly, his eyes a hard glare on mine.
Stay away from him right now, he sent, sharp. ...I mean it, Allie!
I felt my face grow hot. I'm trying to help.
And I'm trying to keep you from getting shot by your own brother, Revik returned angrily, even as Wreg let out a clicking exhale. I was too lost in Revik's words to hear the first part of what Wreg said.
"...on the plane, I admit," he said, sighing again. "I was too busy trying to keep him together after that Cass thing...but yeah, I noticed. I never got a chance to talk to him about it..."
"Noticed what?" I said, again feeling about ten steps behind everyone else and starting to get angry because of it. "What happened to Jon?"
"Some kind of acceleration," Revik said. "I don't know if it's because of what Shadow did with the disease, forcing the timeline faster, or if it's something to do with us..."
"Us?" I repeated. "Like...you and me?"
"The Four, Esteemed Bridge." Wreg met my gaze, his eyes apologetic that time. "The scriptures say that having the Four together, in one room like that, speeds everything up. Varlan told us that Stanley is different now, too...if we can believe that fuck," he grunted, sounding almost like his old self again.
"So Jon's speeding up?" I said. "...Again?"
"Enough to form a preliminary bond structure with Wreg," Revik said, wincing a bit as he looked at me, even before I had time to react with an expression. "...I saw it on the plane, Allie," he added quickly. "I would have told you, I swear to the gods...you were asleep."
But something in my chest had gone cold.
It wasn't only about the Wreg and Jon thing, either. It was me. I was missing too much.
I'd known that for awhile, somewhere in the back of my mind, but it hit home somehow in those few seconds after Revik spoke, in a way that actually scared me. I was missing a lot more than I had any right to be missing, given everything going on right now. I'd been missing too much for weeks now...which made me wonder how gradually the realization had crept up on me. Maybe it even started before. Maybe even as far back as when I left the Lao Hu.
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got for ignoring it up until now.
I'd been in my own damned world, using sight from dreams, from Feigran, from things Revik and Jon and the others said...or, before he died, from Vash. I'd probably been leaning on Revik a lot more than I realized, too. Maybe I was only noticing this in the first place because Revik’s sight was injured.
A pain hit my chest at the thought.
Shit, maybe that had always been the case.
After all, Revik had never been injured like this before. Not since I’d known him...not in terms of his aleimi. Remembering the dreams I'd been having lately, the flickers of China still lingering behind my eyes, I frowned, biting my lip hard enough that I tasted blood. When I glanced up next, Revik was watching me, a worried look on his face. I didn't answer the implicit question in his eyes, but gave him a neutral look.
"How far along is it?" I said. "As far as you and I were, after Seattle?"
"No," Revik said, shaking his head. "Well...it's different. For one thing, they're already sexually involved, so it's happening differently. Anyway, you and me...we were kind of a fluke, Allie. Usually it doesn't happen like that. I mean, it's not unprecedented, but it's rare. Usually a bond like that forms in stages. Each individual in the couple generally has a sense of resistance to the bond. Each of those resistances gets resolved, sometimes one by one before the energetic connection to solidifies into a true connection like ours. Ours just...fell, I guess," Revik said, his face reddening slightly. "...The resistance part, I mean. At least on the energetic side, if not on the emotional or mental side. Probably because we'd been mates in previous incarnations. If you believe the scriptures, anyway..."
I knew Revik was still a little leery with me around his religious beliefs, so I didn't answer other than to nod. Once I had, I glanced at Wreg.
"You haven't talked to him about it?" I said. "Jon."
"Once," Wreg said, turning to look at me, his eyes still apologetic. He shrugged with one hand. "But we didn't talk."
"So he doesn't know anything's changed?" I said, looking at Revik again. "Could that be why he's freaking out? I remember how you and I acted in Seattle..."
I trailed when Revik nodded, his expression unmoving.
I saw his eyes returning to mine a little more often though, and could tell he was still trying to figure out what was going on with me, and whether he'd
caused it, maybe by putting his foot in his mouth by blurting out the thing about the Wreg-Jon bond, or by refusing to let me go to speak with Jon personally. I knew I was shielding from him, too, but I didn't lower my guard, keeping my mind still even behind the shield.
"You should talk to him, Revik," I said. "I can meet the three of you at the bar later. I shouldn't go down there with Wreg, for the reasons you said. Just ping me when you think Jon's going to be okay with seeing me."
"You're all right with that?" Revik asked, wary.
"Sure," I said. "Of course."
"Where will you be?" he said, his eyes and voice still wary.
"I have something I need to do up here," I lied. "It won't take long. I'm sure I'll be done before you." Seeing the scrutiny in Revik's eyes intensify, I blew a warm wave of light in his direction. "It’s fine. I'm just a little thrown at how much of this I missed, that's all."
That part was true, at least.
When I glanced back at Wreg, he was staring at me, too, right before his eyes shifted between Revik and me.
"I'm sorry, Wreg," I said, meaning that, too. "This is my fault. I should have talked to Jon about some of this before...”
The Chinese-looking seer shook his head. "Forget it, princess," he said. "It wouldn’t have done any good. How do you prepare someone for this? You can’t.”
I didn't answer when he lowered his head to his hand. A whisper of fatigue left his light, along with more of that grief, truthfully almost more than I could stand that time, at least not without touching him, or trying to comfort him in some way.
But I pulled back instead, keeping my light well out of his.
Revik clapped him on the back, as if to pull Wreg's mind back to the room, rubbing his shoulder. Only a few seconds later, he also rose to his feet. That time, Wreg followed him without protest, heading for the door under Revik's prodding hands.
Revik glanced at me a last time, his fingers resting on the handle of the door.
"I won't be long, Allie," he said, watching my face.
I nodded, keeping my expression still.
I didn't move until the door had already closed behind them.
I TOOK THE service elevator to the basement.
I didn't run into anyone, which struck me as strange until I remembered that more than half of our team was probably asleep. It wasn't until I reached the last stretch of corridor before the control room that I saw or felt another soul. Then I got an immediate ping from Garend.
I felt another from Tenzi less than a second later.
Both of them felt more than a little surprised when they realized who I was.
I showed them enough of my aleimi that they knew why I'd come pretty much right off. So when Tenzi poked his head out of the locked booth, he looked nervous already, his eyes bright, and yeah, tired-looking.
"Esteemed Bridge,” he said. “What are you doing here?"
I laughed a little. "Didn't I just show you?"
The seer appeared to be briefly stumped. “Well, yes,” he said.
"Is Balidor around?" I scanned lightly as I said it, but I had little doubt 'Dori would have insisted on overseeing protocols for this particular prisoner personally. Therefore, I was a little surprised when Garend clicked his tongue, shaking his head and gesturing a 'no.' His brown hair had gotten long, I noticed, almost as long as Wreg's new hair cut.
I couldn't help smiling ruefully at the thought, wondering just how much the Seven and Adhipan and ex-rebels were all rubbing off on each other.
"You just missed him, Esteemed Bridge," Tenzi said, brushing his black hair back from his own strong, Asian features. Looking at him, though, it struck me that all of the seers were looking a bit more 'New York' these days and less Asia.
No wonder Wreg cut his hair.
Tenzi added, "I think he went to see that seer he's dating...the one from Seattle? He said that further interrogation of prisoners, even this one, could wait. His exact words were, 'let him stew a bit'..." At my faint smile, Tenzi shrugged, his eyes growing more tense when he added, "Anyway, he thinks we have a new problem..."
"What problem is that?" I said.
"He thinks Ditrini is Shadow’s,” Garend broke in. “He told him what was happening in Beijing, and that fucker barely blinked...”
Seeming to realize what he’d said, he blanched a little.
“...Pardon my language,” he added.
I smiled wanly. “I hang out with Wreg, Garend.”
The Eastern European seer grinned at me. Even so, I felt my stomach tighten as I turned over his words, remembering fleeting pictures from my dreams of that morning. I only nodded though, keeping my light and my expression blank.
"I'd like to see those transcripts, if you don't mind," I said neutrally.
Garend's expression turned wary. He exchanged a look with Tenzi. "Respectfully, Esteemed Bridge...but why?" he said.
“I need to go in there,” I said. “To ask him a question.”
Garend just stared at me a moment.
Then he and Tenzi exchanged another look, both of their faces pale. Finally, after what might have been a silent conversation between the two of them, Garend faced me once more, shaking his head slowly. The clicking sound he made held an apology, but I couldn't help but hear the harder tone beneath.
"Esteemed Bridge," he said, softer. "Adhipan Balidor doesn’t want you going anywhere near this prisoner. Balidor was concerned about you even seeing the transcripts, to be honest. He doesn't want the Sword to look at them, either––"
"...Because he's afraid he'd kill him," Tenzi added, his voice blunt. "This Lao Hu fuck already got 'Dori to lose control and hit him...maybe a first. He never even did that with your husband. You know...Syrimne, when he was bad..." he finished lamely.
I felt my face grow taut. I looked between them, folding my arms.
I knew Ditrini. None of what they'd said surprised me, but it gave me what was probably a much-needed reminder of who I was dealing with.
"I understand," I said.
Garend looked relieved. "I appreciate that, Esteemed Sister..."
"...Yet Balidor still works for me," I added without changing tone. "I understand his concerns. I respect all of his choices, always...but in this case, I'm afraid he doesn't have all of the information. Therefore, since he is not here for me to brief in person, I'm afraid I'm going to have to overrule his orders in his absence."
Garend paled. "Does the boss know you're here?" he said, his voice lower.
I knew who he meant that time, and fought to keep my irritation from showing on my face.
"If you mean my husband," I said coldly. "Well, technically, he works for me, too. I wasn't aware I needed his permission to interrogate one of our prisoners. Am I mistaken on the chain of command, dear brother? If so, please illuminate me."
I used formal Prexci that time, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by either of them.
"Of course not, Esteemed Bridge," Garend said, sounding appalled. He bowed when I didn't answer, even as Tenzi did the same. "...Your every wish is ours to fulfill, beloved sister."
"I appreciate that," I said. "I really do. Can you tell me what's been done so far with him? Have preliminary scans been completed on his light?"
"Yes, Esteemed Bridge,” Garend said hastily, still keeping his face below mine. “Balidor oversaw all of that himself. Ditrini has been drugged as well, at high levels...pretty much since his system was checked for overdose limits and tolerance...”
“And how is it?” I said. “His tolerance?”
“High,” Tenzi said at once. “Not like your husband, but maybe the closest we’ve found. The Lao Hu must teach that skill as well..."
"...Or Shadow," I muttered, folding my arms tighter as I grimaced.
The two seers fell silent, but I saw them exchange looks.
Tenzi still looked nervous, but he'd fallen into a more subservient posture, as well.
"We have the gas rigged in there too, Allie," he said, forgetting my title bri
efly. Seeming to realize what he'd said, nerves crossed his expression, even as he made a respectful sign with one hand. I saw the apology there, even before he spoke. "...A thousand pardons for our questioning your wishes in any way, Esteemed sister," he said. "And a thousand pardons for what I'm about to say now...but the Sword will kill us if we let you go in there. You must know that. Chain of command or no, he would expect us to risk any amount of personal hardship to protect you, even the wrath of your most respected person..."
He used the formal Prexci that time, too.
Damn it.
I smiled at him, making a reassuring gesture with one hand. "I understand your concerns, brother...really, I do. I'll make sure that he doesn't hold either of you responsible. In fact, I will inform him, as you have me, that it was believed that a short period of questioning the prisoner would be perfectly safe, given the thoroughness of brother Balidor..."
Looking between them, I sighed, more inside than out.
"I do not enjoy bullying my brothers,” I added. “...But I am making this an order. So unless you refuse to honor my rank due to the kind protectiveness of my husband, I suggest you proceed to do whatever it is you need to do to assure yourselves that you will be exposing me to no danger whatsoever when I enter that interrogation room..."
Seeing the confused look rising to both of their faces, even before they exchanged another set of glances, I added, "...I am also ordering you to keep Barrier silence for the duration of the interview. I have my own reasons for this. I will do you the courtesy of telling you that they do not pertain only to protecting my husband from his own fears..."
When I saw Tenzi and Garend hesitate again, I sharpened my voice for the first time.
"I shouldn't have had to say that," I said. "But I would rather if my wishes on this front were clear...in the event any repercussions ended up being required later."
That time, I saw both of them pale, even as they exchanged another worried look. Then both seemed to make up their minds in the same set of seconds. Tenzi stepped forward once they had, making the respectful sign of the Bridge.
"We do not need to do anything further, Esteemed Bridge," he said, his head below mine now, maybe in case the hand signal hadn't been clear enough. "...The prisoner is secure. You may go in whenever you wish. Do you wish the transcripts first?"
Allie's War Season Three Page 104