I smile and shake my head.
“I want to hear you, watch you come apart with my voice. I need you so bad and this is the best we can get.”
If I ever planned to do this with him, there’s no other time possible. I’ll be unmistakably pregnant soon and then I definitely can’t.
I grab my laptop, shut off the light hoping to hide the bump I have now, and head toward the bed. “I’ve never done this.”
“Me either, sweetheart, but I’m dying and I want to do this with you. If I can’t touch you, I need to see you and feel you in my mind.”
With just the dim light from the setting sun, I glow. I smother my nerves and take my top off. I watch his pupils dilate and hold on to that to keep my confidence up. My heart races as I watch him settle into his bed. “I’m not going to be the only one naked, am I?” I ask.
Liam grins and removes his shirt. My mouth goes dry as I see the sinews of his muscles move. I want to touch him so badly. My hand reaches toward him, but all I can do is close my eyes and imagine the feel of his skin beneath my fingers. “Remove your bra, sweetheart.” Liam’s voice is hushed but full of heat.
I watch Liam as I move my hands behind my back and stop. Instead, I move my hands to my shoulders and slowly drop the straps down. “Like this?”
“You’re so beautiful,” he rasps.
Slowly, I remove my arms from the straps and then reach back and undo the clasp. When my bra falls, the moan that escapes him causes heat to flood my core.
“If I was there, I’d touch you. My hands would be everywhere. Do you wish I was there?”
“Yes,” I breathe and my eyes flutter. This is the most erotic thing I’ve ever done. He’s thousands of miles away and still makes me feel sexy. Liam’s voice drops low as he groans when I push my hair back, giving him a full view.
“Show me how you want me to touch you, Lee. Where do you want my hands on your skin?”
My fingers move from my stomach to my breasts. I close my eyes and listen to his voice as I imagine it’s his hands on me.
“I’d latch my mouth on your breasts. Suck each one and let my tongue roam over your gorgeous tits.” His husky voice drawing out a moan.
“Liam,” I whimper.
“My mouth would be over every inch of you. I’d kiss you, touch you, lick you . . . I’m so fucking hard imagining how you taste.”
I open my eyes and need to see him. I don’t care that we’re through a computer. All I need is him. “Show me,” I request.
Liam stands and removes his shorts and boxers. He doesn’t move, allowing me to see every bit of his body. I long to touch him, feel his body in my hands. “I wish . . .”
“I’m there with you now, Lee. I’m right in front of you. Tell me,” he commands.
“My fingers would be on you.” My voice is breathy as desire courses through my veins.
“Where?”
“I would trail up your arms,” I close my eyes and mirror the movement on my own skin. “Making sure I feel every muscle. They remind me how strong you are and how safe you make me feel.” Liam moans and it emboldens me to go on. “My fingers would glide across your shoulders and to my favorite part of you—your chest.”
“You’re killing me, sweetheart.”
I open my eyes and look at him as his hand grips his cock. He pumps it slowly with his eyes closed and his head back. I want to crawl through the screen. I’ve never been so turned on in my life. Watching him jerk off to the sound of my voice and the promise of what I’d do is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
“I would kiss each part of your chest. Slowly trail my tongue down your torso but keep my hands on you. I’d go slow over each ridge and dip in your skin. Feel how your muscles tense when I touch you before taking you in my mouth.” Liam stops and his eyes are molten lava.
“Take your clothes off, I need to see you.”
I remove my pants and underwear. We’re both naked and so far apart, but right now, we’re together in every way.
“Are you wet for me? Show me,” he prompts. The heat in his eyes makes me want to give him whatever he wants. I lie back on the bed and hope the camera angle allows him the visual he wants but still trying to hide a little. “Fucking hell, Lee. What I would do to you right now.”
My skin is on fire. I slowly touch my breasts as they’re weighted and very sensitive.
“That’s it. Touch yourself for me,” Liam encourages. “Go slow and pull at your nipples. Yeah,” he moans and I imagine him touching himself. “Glide your fingers down to your pussy, sweetheart.”
I hesitate for a second, but the need to ease the build is too much. My hand moves from my breasts down past my stomach. I pause, thinking of the baby for a moment, thinking I should tell him, but Liam speaks again.
“I love you, Lee. Let me love you with my voice.”
It’s not the time and this would surely kill the mood. “Tell me, Liam.”
“I’d go slow, driving you crazy with need. I’d push your legs further apart so I could see all of you. Watch you pulse as you crave me. Then, I’d lower my mouth to your pussy and take one long lick.”
I swear I see stars. His voice is thick and full of promise and I could come apart right now. My finger presses against my clit and I rub small circles.
“It would just be beginning as my tongue would push inside of you and I’d fuck you with my mouth first. There’d be no finesse, just pure passion. You taste like heaven and I’d want to stay there forever.”
“Oh my God,” I groan as I climb higher and higher.
“When I feel you tighten around my tongue, I’d stick my finger inside and twist until you were gripping me so hard that your body is begging for my dick.”
“I’m begging now,” I moan.
“I know. Make yourself come. Show me how bad you want me.”
My pace quickens as I listen to his grunts and groaning. I lie on my bed imagining it’s his hands, his mouth, and his touch.
“Only you, Natalie. Only you can make me this fucking hard. Make it this impossible to do anything but think about being with you,” Liam coaxes me as I writhe. “I’m touching you. Wishing it was my hands on your beautiful body. My tongue would be in your mouth as I sink into you, claiming you with each stroke as you come apart on me.”
I explode. My body shakes as I have one of the strongest orgasms of my life. I cry out and my breath comes is short gasps. I turn my head and catch Liam last second as he follows me over the edge. He moans my name and cleans up.
“Well, that was the best fucking Skype of my life,” he smiles, and I flip onto my stomach hiding myself.
“It was interesting for sure,” I blush.
“Hold on, someone’s knocking,” he says and gets dressed quickly.
I suddenly feel very naked. I grab my robe and throw it over me. I hear him arguing with Quinn for a few minutes before the door slams.
“Hey,” he looks irritated. “Sorry about that.”
“No worries. Kind of glad he didn’t come knock a little earlier,” I giggle.
Liam doesn’t respond right away. He wipes his hand down his face, “I don’t even know how to tell you this, but I have to go back out. I’m going to be gone a few days or more, again.”
“I thought you guys were on a short break.”
I know he has no control. But these missions are killing me. I worry and wonder when I don’t hear from him. So far, I’ve been able to keep my mind from running rampant, but at the same time, the fear can come out of nowhere.
“We were supposed to be, but Quinn just came here to let me know we needed to start gearing up. This isn’t like me.” He looks off and lets out a deep sigh.
I’m not sure what the hell he means. “What’s not like you?”
“This stressed out, pissed off, ready to go home guy. You broke me,” he laughs. “I worry about you and Aarabelle. I wonder if you’re okay and if you need anything. It consumes me. You consume my world. I don’t know how these married guys do thi
s.”
He seems so forlorn I wish I could take it from him. I give him my best shot. “I know the job you have. I have a very small advantage than some new SEAL wife. I’ve walked in these shoes. You have to remember who you are when you’re there. You’re not Liam Dempsey. You’re Dreamboat. If you don’t do your job, you don’t come home to me. So do your job and do it well. Then when you come home you can suck up.”
“How did I ever get so fucking lucky?”
“You loved me at my lowest. You healed me by being the man you are. I’m the lucky one.”
“I’ll call you when I’m back and we can start planning another Skype before homecoming,” he grins and leans in close. “And I mean a repeat of today, sweetheart.”
“You better earn it,” I smile and scoot forward. “Or next time I’ll point the camera at the ceiling.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Oh, wouldn’t I?”
“I’ll be seeing all of you very soon,” Liam smirks.
“We’ll see about that.”
“Kiss Aarabelle for me and get her potty trained,” he smiles.
“I will. I love you.”
“Love you more. We’ll talk soon.”
I nod as my throat becomes thick with emotion. I miss him and I don’t want to hang up. But I know he has to go and I need to be strong for him. Liam disconnects the call, and I hold my stomach and start counting down until I can talk to him again.
“Aaron, it’s fine,” I say to him for the tenth time. He’s upset that I’ve decided to work solely from home. But this was the best choice. I don’t want to work side by side with him every day, and this gives me a chance to stay home with Aarabelle and the new baby. I’m now nineteen weeks and starting to feel self-conscious around everyone.
“Something’s going on with you.” He walks over to where I am and looks at me.
Shit. He’s going to know. I’ve been extra careful about dressing in baggy clothes and keeping everything hidden.
This is Aaron, the SEAL interrogator. The one who knows every trick in the book. He and Liam are cut from the same cloth. The last two weeks, Aaron and I have gotten along really well. Our divorce is now final and we’re both free to move on. We’ve promised each other, for Aarabelle’s sake, to not be hateful. He knows where my heart lies, and I know he needs to find his.
He’s not a bad guy and he never was. He was a confused man who made some bad decisions. Unfortunately, for him, it cost him greatly. Cost all of us. Even with us not being together, he’s proven to be a phenomenal father to Aarabelle. Each week he comes and has dinner with us, and every other weekend he takes her.
“Please don’t Jedi mind trick me. I just have a lot on my mind.” I try to brush him off.
“No, that’s not it.”
“I need you to stop, please,” I implore him. I don’t want him to know before Liam. I don’t want him to know at all, but there’s no avoiding that. I’m starting to show a more defined bump, but today I have a sweatshirt on. There’s no way he can see my stomach.
“I’m just worried.” Aaron stops and waits.
My cell phone rings, stopping this awkward and very uncomfortable conversation. I look at the number and I don’t recognize it.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Natalie?” A man’s voice I don’t recognize asks.
“Yes, who is this?”
“This is Aidan Dempsey, Liam’s father. I have your number from Liam’s emergency file he sent before he left.”
“Oh, hello, Mr. Dempsey.” Concern sweeps in. “Is everything okay?”
Liam’s father sighs and takes a long pause. “I’m sorry to call like this,” he stops again and sniffs, “I just—I don’t know what to do,” he says and my heart plummets.
I clutch my throat and Aaron is at my side in a moment. “What’s wrong?” I barely get the words out.
“My wife,” he stops and catches his breath. “She was in an accident. And the doctors . . . they aren’t saying anything yet. But the accident was bad.” The pain is evident in his voice and I feel both relief and tension. It’s not Liam, but this won’t be any easier.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I need him to come home.” He begins to cry and my heart splinters into a million shards. My legs start to shake. I need to sit. “She’s not going to make it, and they said to get the family here, but it’s just me and Liam left.” His Irish brogue grows thick as his emotions swell.
“Is he?” Aaron says, and I shake my head.
“I can help. I need some information from you. He’s out on a mission, but I’ll do everything I can.” Tears well in my eyes as I think of how badly this is going to wreck Liam. His sister died and that was horrible, now his mother is barely hanging on.
Liam’s father gives me all the information about his mother’s condition and where she is. I write everything down, and Aaron rests his hand on my shoulder in silent support.
His father lets out a deep breath, “I can’t tell him.”
“It’s okay, Mr. Dempsey, I’ll get Liam home.”
We disconnect and Aaron looks at me with empathy. It gives me a tiny amount of hope that we can all find a way to get along. “This is going to break him, Lee. When Krissy died, he almost lost his mind. I was there.” Aaron reminds me.
He went with Liam to his sister’s funeral. Aaron told me when he got back from Ohio how bad he took it. How the guy who would laugh and joke could barely smile. Even now, it’s difficult for him to talk about her. She developed a blood clot that killed her in her sleep.
I look at Aarabelle and my emotions flood like a dam that opened. I imagine being that mother and entering her room. Seeing her asleep and knowing I was right there. It becomes overwhelming and I start to sob.
“It’s too much,” I cry out.
Aaron crouches down and grabs my hands. “I can’t believe I’m saying this . . . but you need to be strong. He’s going to need you. I can handle Aarabelle for a bit if you need to go. I would offer to go, but I don’t think we’re quite there yet.” Aaron looks away.
“Are you sure you can handle her for that long?”
He sighs, “I’m sure, and if not, I’ll get help.”
“I’m not trying to be a bitch, but I don’t want her around our daughter.”
Aaron looks away and then back at me. “I was never with her. I said it to piss you off.”
“Great.”
“I’m sorry,” he says with shame painting his face.
He lied. Again.
“I need to get an AmCross in.” I stand and head over to my binder. The American Red Cross has to put the information in and then it goes to his command. Being that it’s his mother, I can’t see his command denying him the chance to come home.
Once I get the message in, Aaron and I sit quietly. Aarabelle is asleep and I wait for Liam or his father to call. He’d fly into Virginia, and then I don’t know where we go from there.
Aaron clears his throat and I look up. “I can stay here if that’s okay with you,” he offers.
“I appreciate you helping out.” Throughout these past few weeks, we’ve grown as friends. There’s no spark or connection, at least for me, but the friendship that was always there is still strong.
“Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll stay here and if something happens, at least I’ll already be here.”
I nod and look at my phone. It’s been hours and still no call. I know these things can take some time, but it’s not something we have the luxury of. Every minute is precious and I feel like we’re waiting for the clock to stop ticking.
Once in my room, I lie down and my mind won’t quit. I’m distraught over the fact that Liam will have to endure any pain. I love him and know what it feels like to lose someone you love. I would never wish that on anyone. The hands of time haven’t been fair to either of us. We’ve both endured immense pain, but through it found the beauty in each other.
I close my eyes and clutch my phone waiting for his call. I
don’t know how much they’ll tell him, but I hope Mason knows enough to let him call me after. Hopefully, in less than twenty-four hours, we’ll be together, where I can be the rock he needs.
I awake with the sun shining and leap out of bed. Glancing at my phone, I see there are no missed calls. That makes no sense. He should’ve called home by now. It was an emergency. No matter if he was on a mission or not, he would have communication with the base unit.
Aaron will know. I rush down the stairs where he’s drinking coffee while Aarabelle plays with her toys. “Morning,” he says and takes a sip.
“Hey, I’m worried. He didn’t call.” I waste no time explaining my fear.
“If they’re out in hostile territory, he won’t be able to. He may have to finish out the mission and then come back. He’ll get in touch when he can. Sucks he was out and not at base,” Aaron tries to reassure me. “I know this sounds fucked up, but we know the risks when we deploy. We know we may never get to say goodbye to someone dying. We miss births of babies and a lot of holidays. It sucks but it’s also the way we live.”
“Do you miss it?” I always wondered this.
When he got out of the Navy, I always felt it was more for Mark and Jackson. Jackson was the leader and he was the first not to take another commission. Mark was enlisted and he followed suit. But Aaron wavered. He wasn’t hurt in the firefight like they were. Aaron came back different though.
“No, I’m not going anywhere again. I have my daughter, and I wouldn’t ever put you through something like this again,” he says and looks away. The tone in his voice makes the underlying message clear.
“What does that mean?” I can’t help but ask anyway.
“It means that I wouldn’t choose deploying over you. I’m here, Lee. I’m not going to leave, or get injured, or die. I’m here.” Aaron’s voice is low and pleading.
“You did leave, get injured, and hell, you died too. You weren’t active then. Don’t use this against me,” I warn.
He stands and looks at the ceiling. “This is our house, Natalie. It’s where we made a home. We conceived a child here, had fights here, made love here, and I thought we’d grow old here.”
Conviction (Consolation Duet #2) Page 15