Burner's Absolution (Devil's Riot MC Book 8)

by E. C. Land

My gut tightens at the severity of most of them. What gets me the most is the one word carved into her body multiple times. Cutră, which I knew to mean whore is cut so deeply into Ally’s skin, not even a tattoo would be able to cover them properly without them being noticeable through the ink. Being a tattoo artist, I’d never even try to place a tattoo over those scars.

  Motherfucker, that ass is a dead man when I get my hands on him. No one should have to endure all that she has. Ally not only lost her family, she was raped constantly through the years and lost children that under any other circumstances she’d have wanted. She’s also suffered more than most men could handle.

  A simple death wouldn’t be good enough for a man like this one. No, he needs to experience all the pain my beautiful Ally has gone through.

  “Now that you all know what I’ve been through and what’s to come, can you please leave? I don’t want anyone hurt. If he takes me, he’ll leave Lynsdey and Emerson alone. Neither of them should have to go through any more pain than they already have. Not when I can sacrifice myself for them,” Ally says, holding the shirt to her front.

  Silence descends upon everyone in the room as they process her words. All but me. “I don’t give a fuck the reason why you were gonna do something like sacrifice yourself. You don’t get to make that decision alone. Not when you have a family. Not when you have me. You’re mine, Ally, and I’ll be fuckin’ damned if I’m losing someone else I love to some psychotic asshole who thinks they can simply take what they want without a fight. Think again, Firefly. You try and you’ll find yourself cuffed to my bed where I know you’ll be safe,” I bite out right before slamming my mouth to hers.

  I refuse to allow Ally to put me through the same pain I had with Janey. I thought I had died with Janey, however, this woman in my arms, I know she will be my undoing.

  Chapter Seven

  Ally

  “You’re mine, Ally, and I’ll be fuckin’ damned if I’m losing someone else I love to some psychotic asshole who thinks they can simply take what they want without a fight. Think again, Firefly. You try and you’ll find yourself cuffed to my bed where I know you’ll be safe.” Burner’s words spin around in my head. I barely register the first part as his mouth consumes my own.

  By the time Burner pulls away, I’m panting for breath. “Don’t think I’m gonna let you get away from me,” he rasps.

  “Can we finish this shit up? You can finish your make-out session later after we figure out what the fuck we’re gonna do,” Horse grumbles.

  Embarrassed by Horse’s remark, I try to back away from Burner, but he doesn’t let me get far. No, he pulls me against his chest as he turns us to face the group of men staring at us, their facial expressions varying from pitying to furious, all directed at me.

  “Ally, can you put your shirt back on, please?” Hades mutters, his and Uncle Hammer’s eyes diverted away from my direction. It’s then I realize my shirt is still off.

  Crap!

  Glancing down at the floor, I see my shirt laying right by my brother’s feet. How it got all the way over there, I have no clue. I’d taken the thing off without thinking so they’d understand this is what I’m trying to keep from happening to the women who belong to these men.

  They don’t need to suffer more than they already have. After hearing each of their stories, I knew I couldn’t let them go through what I had.

  Leaning down, I snatch my shirt off the floor and quickly put it on.

  I’d hoped Burner would let me move away from him after I’d put my shirt on. Nope, he draws me back against his chest where he holds me tight. My mind is a complete chaotic mess where Burner’s concerned.

  Why did he have to do this to me? I don’t understand these emotions nor the way my body heats at his touch.

  Better yet, why all of a sudden does he want me? He’s always said no one would take Janey’s place in his heart. What’s changed? And honestly, do I want to even be with him?

  My heart says yes, but my mind is screaming no because Burner has the power to destroy me.

  “Ally, I’m sorry you went through all the shit you have in your life, and I commend you for wanting to save our ol’ ladies from the pain you went through. You should have brought this to our attention the moment you opened this letter,” Twister says, holding the letter up between his fingers.

  “With that said, Burner’s right, you will now have around-the-clock security until this fucker is taken out,” Horse says right after Twister. It’s eerie how Horse and Twister can finish speaking for each other. Guess that’s why they make a good team as President and Vice President of their charter. Then again, what do I know about clubs? I may have lived at their clubhouse, but that doesn’t mean I hung around all of them.

  Nope, I stayed secluded to my room. It’s what I’m used to when I wasn’t being forced to servicing the leaders or whoever they deemed rewarding with having the Chosen underneath them.

  Unable to hide the shiver running through my body, Burner draws me further into him. The heat radiating off him soothes me more than I’d like to admit.

  “I got you, Firefly, just remember that,” he murmurs into my ear.

  Shaking my head, I want to tell him no, but words escape me.

  “Ally, do you know if the marriage was legally binding?” Uncle Hammer asks.

  “I don’t remember signing anything, though this all happened within days after being taken. So, if it were documented, it wouldn’t be valid right? I mean, I was barely a teenager,” I say, ducking my head down to stare at the floor, my cheeks burning in embarrassment at pretty much informing them of when I’d lost my virginity.

  I’m sure most of these guys lost there’s when they’d been in their teens. However, my daddy and even Uncle Hammer told me never let a boy do anything I wasn’t ready for until I knew they were the one for me. I remember my momma rolling her eyes at the two of them. They’d said all this after I asked my dad to run to the store for me because I needed personal products and he’d gone without complaint. When he got home, he had everything I needed along with a bag of chocolates, joking that my momma trained him right.

  God, how I miss them both. I used to cry myself to sleep screaming for my dad, though that stopped soon after due to the beatings I endured several times a day. On the nights I cried for him, I received harsher beatings.

  “I’ll look into it when I get back to the clubhouse. If there is any documentation, I’ll find it,” Gadget states.

  “Do you mind if we take the journals with us, Ally? We can go through them there more thoroughly than here and without you worrying about what we will think of you.” Even though I know it was more of a statement from Twister, it was nice of him to have at least put it as a question.

  Without looking up, I nod my head. “Okay,” is all I say.

  “Good, I’m calling church first thing in the morning at nine. Burner, I’m gonna assume you’ll be with Ally tonight. Bring her with you to the clubhouse tomorrow when you come,” Twister orders.

  “You got it, Prez,” Burner says.

  As most of the guys head out, Hades steps toward me. “Ally, don’t you worry about this fucker. I didn’t protect you when we were kids as I should have, I won’t let that happen again,” he declares.

  While I want to protest what Hades said, I can’t. If I speak up, he’ll end up staying here longer and arguing with me, so I merely nod my head. I just want everyone to go home and leave me alone, including Burner.

  I need time to myself to process all that has been said.

  Prying myself out of Burner’s arms, I head toward my room. “Lock the door behind you as you leave. I’m going to take a bath,” I say, waving my hand nonchalantly at the door, dismissing anyone else still here.

  In my room I close the door, not locking it, and head to the en suite where I strip out of my clothes and start the bath, picking out a bath bomb. It’s the one luxury I’ve allowed myself to enjoy since the day I helped my brother escape.

  “You didn
’t think I’d be leaving, did you?” Burner’s voice startles me as I drop the bath bomb into the water with a splash as I attempt to cover myself with my arms.

  “What are you doing here, Burner?” I ask.

  “We never got to have our conversation. Figured now would be as good a time as any, Firefly,” he says, moving further into the room.

  Is he seriously expecting me to have a conversation with him while I’m naked? Following his movement, I watch as he sits on top of the lid to the toilet.

  Yep, that’s exactly what he thinks. Eying the water filling the tub, I quickly debate with myself on whether I want to give up my bath or not.

  “Just get in the bath, baby. I’m not gonna do anything unless you say. All we’re doing now is talking,” Burner says.

  Well in that case, I’m definitely getting in my bath and I’ll merely tune him out.

  Yeah, right, like I could ever ignore his presence.

  Damnit, I’m screwed.

  Chapter Eight

  Burner

  Locking the door as my brothers leave, I lean my head against the cool wood. Closing my eyes, I can’t help but feel like a piece of shit for not realizing there was even more hurt and pain underneath all that Ally has allowed anyone to see. Yet she’s stronger than any woman I’ve ever met, including my Janey.

  As shit as that sounds, it’s the truth. Where Janey grew up loved and spoiled by me and her family, Ally went from growing up with loving parents and a brother to living in hell and being abused every day of her life. It takes a woman with strength beyond what most have to suffer the way she did.

  Sucking in a breath, I lift my head from the door. Ally thought she was getting rid of everyone. She must not have been listening completely when Twister stated I’d be here the rest of the night. Tonight, and every other night. I’ve wasted enough time pulling the stick out of my own ass to lift the blinders from my eyes. Yes, Janey will always hold a huge part of my heart, but the dreams are right— I can let Ally in as well. Honestly, I don’t think I could withstand not having her near me even if I tried. She wormed her way in without even realizing it.

  Glancing at the door to her room, I can hear the faint noise of water running. A smirk crosses my face as an idea comes to me. We still have one more conversation to have and what better time to have it than when Ally is soaking in a tub filled with hot water.

  Moving through the house, I make sure all the windows and doors are locked up tight and make my way to Ally’s bedroom door. Turning the handle, I find it unlocked. I’d figured she’d have locked it but damn if she didn’t. Pushing through the door, I make my way toward the entrance to the bathroom, surprised to find she’d left this one open too. Then again, she probably thought no one would enter her space.

  Inwardly chuckling, I lean against the door frame and stare at the beauty that is Ally. Though I saw each scar on her back and chest not even an hour ago, her lower half is just as bad if not worse with the scars marring her skin. Some might say the marks go against making her beautiful, but to me, they make her Ally, the strong, beautiful woman who survived hell and helped her brother escape.

  I continue to stand there for a good minute watching as Ally picked through the bath bombs I know she loves. In fact, I’d bought her several of them when she first came to the clubhouse. She admitted to me one night she used to love taking baths growing up but hadn’t had one since before she was kidnapped. The only time she’d been allowed to shower was once a week unless it was a special ceremony about to happen. Though I hadn’t asked about those, I could only imagine. Now, I wished I’d asked her about them.

  You can’t change the past, so no reason to dwell on it. Janey’s words pop into my head. It was one of her favorite things to say. That and whatever that shit was from The Lion King.

  “You didn’t think I’d be leaving, did you?” I finally ask, causing her to jump halfway out of her skin as she drops the bath bomb into the water to try and cover herself from me.

  “What are you doing here, Burner?” Ally asks nervously. If you couldn’t tell with the way she was standing there, you’d have heard it in her voice with the way she stutters. It’s a telling sign of hers I’d learned about early on in our friendship.

  “We never got to have our conversation. Figured now would be as good a time as any, Firefly,” I say, shrugging my shoulders as I stand straight from the door frame to step further into the spacious bathroom. As I’d been taking in the sight of Ally, I hadn’t realized how big her bathroom was. No wonder she bought the small little house. This room is twice as big as the ones at the clubhouse.

  Moving across the room, doing my best to keep from reaching out for her, I sit on the toilet lid and brace my arms on my knees as I glance up to meet Ally’s gaze. “Just get in the bath, baby. I’m not gonna do anything unless you say. All we’re doing now is talking,” I say softly to calm the unease I notice in her hazel eyes, the same color eyes that have tormented my dreams that I thought were Janey’s. Yet seeing Ally without her guard fully up, I realize they were hers.

  Fuck, how have I been so dense to not grasp onto what my own subconscious was trying to tell me?

  As confusing as my thoughts want to become, I refuse to not have this conversation with Ally. I want this woman as mine, I know that much for sure. I won’t go another day without her hearing just how much she means to me.

  “You wanted to talk, so talk,” Ally says, breaking the silence that had descended upon us after she’d slid into the tub.

  Letting my gaze roam over her body as she focuses on my face, I do my best to control my breathing. That and my dick wants to jump out of my jeans. He’s wanted in her body for a long fuckin’ time and I’ve constantly taken to leaving the clubhouse whenever the temptation became too much for me. I’d go to Outlaw Racks, find a hookup, and take them behind the building. I never took them anywhere else.

  Sure, I could have crooked my finger at any of the clubwhores, but I didn’t want to throw my fucking others in Ally’s face. Besides, she didn’t need to hear that shit coming from my room.

  “Umm, are you going to sit there staring at me or say what you needed to,” she says sarcastically, drawing my thoughts and gaze back to her face.

  “Yeah, Firefly, I’m gonna talk,” I say, rubbing my hands together. “I know you think I’ve been avoiding you the past few months, only really speaking to you at Devil’s Ink when needed.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You haven’t been avoiding me,” Ally mutters, diverting her eyes away from me, but not before I saw the flash of hurt in her eyes.

  “Don’t lie to me, Ally,” I growl, standing up from where I was sitting to kneel directly in front of her. “I was an ass toward you, though you did nothing wrong, I couldn’t be around you. Not until I got my head on straight.”

  “I . . .” I hold my hand up to stop Ally from saying any more.

  “Let me finish,” I murmur. “I’ve told you everything about Janey and how I swore I’d never let anyone replace her. Nor would I allow myself to think about being with another woman in the same way. However, I was wrong. See, you have wormed your way into my heart and I can’t let you go. Not now, not ever. You’re mine. I will do everything, including giving my life for yours, to keep you safe. I refuse to lose you the way I did Janey and to be honest, as much as I loved her, I will admit to you as I’ve finally done myself, I love you more.”

  Ally stayed quiet as I finish speaking, though she seemed to want to interrupt me several times. Thankfully, she let me get it all out. Now, I’m just waiting for her to have her turn, to tell me whatever is rolling around in that head of hers. I know I just dropped a huge bomb on her but fuck if she didn’t need to know how I felt. How she made me feel. The way she’s consumed my heart without even trying.

  “You love me?” she asks, seeming baffled, her brows furrowing as she shakes her head.

  “Yeah, Firefly, I do,” murmuring, I lift my right hand out to cup her cheek.

&n
bsp; “How could you love me when I’m damaged? You can’t, Burner. You can’t love someone like me. I’m not good for you,” she says as she removes her cheek from my touch and immediately stands from the tub on the other side and wraps a towel around herself. The whole time she rambles on and on quietly to herself. Though I can barely hear her words, what I do catch pisses me the hell off.

  Stepping around the tub, I grip ahold of her upper arm and turn her to face me. Holding her to my chest, I use my other hand to cup her chin and tilt her head to meet my gaze. “Let me ever catch you calling yourself a breeding machine or whore again and I will make sure you feel my hand against your ass. You are not what those motherfuckers constantly called you. You, Ally, are the strongest woman I’ve ever met. So get that shit out of your head right now, because I’m telling you now, you are worthy of love and I intend to love you for the rest of my life,” I say right before slamming my mouth down on hers.

  I’ll be damned if I’ll let her think anything hurtful about herself. No, not fuckin’ happening. If she doesn’t want the words, then I’ll just have to show her another way.

  Chapter Nine

  Ally

  Oh, shit on a stick.

  My mind is becoming a puddle of mud right now as Burner’s lips work their magic on me. As I wrap my arms around his neck, I want nothing more than to do things I’ve never done willingly. I don’t know if I can though. From the tingling sensations running through my body, I know I want to, yet my mind is holding me back.

  He might be saying all the right things, but he doesn’t know the depths of all I’ve been through. I can’t let him see the extent of the scars.

  With as much willpower as I can muster, I slide my hands from around his neck and push away, breaking the kiss.

  “We can’t do this,” I murmur, shaking my head as I clutch the towel to my chest to keep from reaching for Burner.