Shattered (Shattered #1)

by D'Agostino, Heather

  After several hours in the weight room, I finally had worked out most of the anger that I’d harbored toward her. If I was being honest, I still loved her. It was fear that was keeping me away. Fear that if I let her in, she’d break me all over again. I knew I sounded like a pussy, but I didn’t care.

  After placing the free weights back in their spots, I grabbed a towel and began rubbing the sweat off my face. It had been a long day, and all I wanted to do was go home, and take a nice hot shower.

  As I began walking down the hall heading in the direction of my office, I noticed the lights to the trainer’s room were turned off. I released a sigh of relief knowing that Leah had left. At least I hoped she had left. When I got to my office door, it was cracked open. I didn’t remember leaving it that way, but sometimes players would come by and forget to close the door when they left. I figured someone brought me something, and just didn’t pull the door closed when they came back out.

  As I approached my desk, I saw a small piece of paper taped to computer screen. Upon closer inspection I recognized the hand writing. I would never forget the way she wrote my name.

  Nicky,

  I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. Can we talk? I mean really talk? Meet me at our old spot at 7? I’ll be waiting…

  L

  I held the paper out in front of me again as my hand trembled. She was the only person I let call me Nicky, and she knew that was what she needed to do to get to me. This day just kept getting even more stress-filled as it went on. What could she possibly want to talk about, and was I dumb enough to go? The answer was easy, yes. I needed to find out what she wanted and close the door on this uncomfortable reunion as quickly as possible.

  ooooooooo

  Leah

  Was I crazy? After what just happened in the trainer’s room, was I crazy to try to get him alone again? I want, no I need to fix this. He’s still attracted to me that much is obvious, but for some reason he won’t give in to it. “Lay it out there for him Leah,” I mumbled to myself as I walked into the front door of my house and headed for the bathroom.

  Once inside the bathroom, I began stripping off my sweaty clothes and tossing them into a pile. After turning on the water, and stepping into the spray, I began to relax for the first time all day.

  “Knock, knock,” came Avery’s voice as she barged in.

  “I was hoping to get some quiet time,” I sighed as I began washing my hair.

  “Yeah…ok,” Avery snickered. “If you think I’m going to leave you alone after you spent the day with Nick, you’re crazier than I thought.”

  “I didn’t spend the day with him,” I rolled my eyes. “We work in the same building, that’s all.”

  “Yeah, you work ten feet from each other, and you used to sleep together,” Avery giggled. “You can’t tell me that it was a normal day.”

  “Can I get like five minutes alone?” I groaned.

  “No…what do you need five minutes for? You thinking about him and need to take care of something?”

  “Avery! No!” I shrieked. “Get out! Please!”

  “I want deets girl. Did you see him?” she continued to push the issue.

  I knew that if I didn’t give her what she wanted, she would never let up. Sighing I relented, “He kissed me.”

  “What?” she squealed.

  “You heard me.”

  “It sounded like you said he kissed you. Did you kiss him back?”

  “Um hmmm,” I grumbled. “He kissed me…like he used to. Then he ran in the other direction as fast as he could.”

  “He still loves you,” Avery got a wistful sound to her voice. “He’s afraid you’re going to hurt him again.”

  As I stood under the water letting the soap run down my body, I couldn’t help but let Avery’s words soak in. He loved me? Could she be right? The Nick I knew would never let someone get to him like that. That was what had kept me from dating in him the first time around. He had been such a player. If Cam hadn’t convinced me to give him a chance, we probably would have never gotten together.

  “You should talk to him,” Avery broke into my thoughts. “Tell him you’re here for good. That you want to fix things. Start over…” she trailed off.

  “I’m trying,” I let it escape before I could stop it. I slapped my hand over my mouth as a blush spread across my cheeks.

  Before I could react, Avery jumped up and yanked back the shower curtain, “How?” she grinned mischievously. “What have you got up your sleeve?”

  Anger and embarrassment coursed through me, “Do you mind?” I pulled the curtain closed blocking her out.

  “Oh come on Leah. I’ve seen you naked,” she giggled. “Make sure you shave the girly bits before you meet up with him.”

  I stood there momentarily stunned. How did she know I’d planned to meet up with him?

  “What are you talking about?” I shouted as I reached to turn the water off.

  “I know that there is no way he could have kissed you today, and you not do something about it. You’re going to meet him somewhere tonight, I just know it,” she shrugged as she disappeared through the door and left me standing there in a total daze.

  Was I that transparent? As I stepped out of the shower, and began toweling off, I only hoped that Nick would show up. I had used my secret weapon, I’d called him Nicky. I know it was cruel, but that always got me what I wanted back when we were kids. Now all I needed to do was remind him of what we had.

  ooooooooo

  As I turned off the road, and parked in the dirt lot, I glanced around. Not much had changed since the last time I was here. Heat flooded my face as I thought about this spot. Nick had found it one night when we were driving around. It was secluded and off the beaten path. No one ever came out here, and it made for the perfect make-out spot. Our first time had been about twenty five feet from where I was standing in the back of his truck.

  As I watched the sun descend over the trees, I couldn’t help but remember. I was so naive and in love. To think that back then I thought we’d be together forever…what a joke.

  “Are you sure about this?” Nick panted as he fought for control. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.”

  I nodded against his neck as I began to place soft kisses along his jaw. “I’m ready,” my voice trembled. We had snuck out and driven to meet each other here in the woods. This spot held so many memories. It was where we had our first kiss, where we said I love you, and now where we’d share our most intimate moment.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he sighed as I ran my hands down his back.

  We were in an awkward position. Me with my skirt pressed up around my waist, him with his jeans around one ankle. Both our shirts were tossed somewhere nearby, and Nick was currently tugging at my panties.

  “You won’t…just go slow,” I whispered as I craned my neck to seal my lips over his.

  As the kiss deepened I felt him relax and begin to kiss me back. Both of us shifted slightly as he moved to slide my panties down my legs. When the cool night air hit me for the first time, a shiver ran down my spine. It was really happening. Finally, after all the times we’d almost done it…it was finally happening.

  “Don’t stop,” I begged him as he trailed his hand back up my inner thigh.

  “Never,” he mumbled against my lips as he began to slide a finger along my wetness.

  “Oh fuck baby…you’re so wet,” he groaned as he added a second finger.

  My hips thrust forward on their own accord as my head lolled to the side. Indescribable pleasure shot through me. Nick’s mouth made sweeping motions down my body as he trailed kisses from my neck down to my breasts.

  “Nick,” I moaned as he sucked a taught nipple into his mouth.

  “I know baby…I don’t want this to hurt. You’re not ready yet.”

  “What?” I lifted my head thinking he was calling a stop to this.

  “Relax,” he ran his palm down my side, past my ribs, and gri
pped my hip.

  I wasn’t sure what he was doing at first, but as soon as I felt his mouth on me, I flew apart. My hips rolled toward the sky as he chuckled creating a vibration down there. His tongue was taking long so laps at me as his hands held me in place. As my first orgasm began to subside, he began moving back up my body, kissing every inch along the way. When he met my mouth again, I almost pulled away. Something about what he’d done sent a twinge of uneasiness through my head. Before I knew what was happening, he closed his mouth over mine and plunged his tongue in. I groaned in pleasure, more turned on than I’d ever been.

  Before the kiss could go too far, Nick pulled away, and rocked back on his heels. Embarrassment flooded my features as I thought I must have done something wrong. Here I was with my boyfriend who had loads more experience than me, and he was pulling away. Panic set in, and I propped myself up on my elbows.

  “What’s wrong,” I gasped.

  “Need this,” he held up a foil packet.

  I had completely forgotten about protection in my lustful haze. I reached for it, “Can I do it?”

  Nick swallowed and handed it to me, “Just do it quick ok?”

  “Does it hurt?” I looked at him confused.

  “No,” he snickered. “Waiting hurts.”

  “Oh,” I blushed as I tore the packet with my teeth. “Like this?” I grinned as I began rolling it down his shaft.

  Nick’s head dropped back as his eyes rolled closed, “Leah,” he moaned.

  “Hmmm?” I moaned. I knew exactly what he was feeling. I was feeling it too at the moment. I reached up and grabbed his shoulders pulling him down on top of me, “Make love to me.”

  Nick grinned and leaned in to kiss me again. I curled my hips toward him as an impatient groan bubbled up. Needing no more encouragement, Nick rocked his hips forward into me.

  “Shit you’re tight,” he ground out as he stilled. “Relax baby.”

  “Nick?” I ran a hand down his back and clutched his ass in an iron grip. “I love you!”

  “I’m sorry,” he panted as he gave a quick thrust forward. White hot pain shot through me causing me to flinch as a tear trickled down the side of my face. “I’m sorry,” he uttered again.

  As he stilled, the pain subsided and pleasure made its’ way to the forefront. “It’s ok. Move…please,” I begged. When Nick noticed that they pain had abated, he began to move slowly at first.

  “Oh baby, you are so sexy,” he groaned as he began to move faster. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too,” I panted as I felt a change in him. He was moving with a purpose now. His muscles began to tense as he reached between us and used his thumb to rub small circles on my clit. “Nick,” I shrieked. This was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. I was experiencing this feeling of complete bliss, and something so indescribable I didn’t have words.

  Nick’s hand drifted to my hip as he lifted my rear off the bed of the truck and created an even better angle. A few thrusts at this deeper penetration was all it took to send him over the edge.

  “Leah,” he roared as his climax wracked his body. He slumped down on me as he mumbled in my ear. “Please don’t ever leave me. You’ve totally wrecked me for anyone else. I think I might die without you.”

  “I won’t,” I whispered. “You and me…forever.”

  “Forever…yeah right,” I grumbled as I watched the sun disappear for the night. I stood there leaning against my car waiting. Waiting for Nick to show. Hoping he’d show…praying I wasn’t too late.

  Chapter 7

  Leah

  I stood leaning against the side of my car as the sun dipped lower on the horizon. It was now almost seven o’clock, and still no sign of Nick. I silently wondered if he would stand me up just to get back at me for some of the pain I’d caused him over the years. I didn’t think so, but after some of the things Avery had told me I wouldn’t put it past him. Avery and I had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning the night before, and she’d divulged some of the things she’d done for Nick over the years. Guilt and sadness permeated my conscious as I sat there and listened to her stories. I knew Nick had loved me, but I hadn’t realized at the time how deep it really was. I mean…wouldn’t he have come with me if he really loved me that much?

  As I glanced down at my watch one last time and saw that it was now after seven, I heaved my body away from the car and moved to climb in. I assumed that Nick was blowing me off, and anger began to boil inside me. I made up my mind right then that I was going to give him a piece of my mind the next day when I went to work. How dare he kiss me like that and then not even give me the courtesy of a conversation.

  Before I could start the car, I looked up, and saw headlights approaching in the distance. Releasing a deep breath, I pushed the door back open, and moved back to my previous position. As I stood there, I could hear the loud rumble of the truck’s engine. It came to a stop right in front of where I was parked, the lights blinked off, and then the engine cut. Nick shook his head silently to himself before he climbed out.

  As he made his way around the front of the truck, I stood there drinking him in. He was wearing a worn pair of jeans that were frayed in just the right spots, a black t-shirt that was so snug it showed every ripple and dip of his chest and abs, but the real kicker…a Nike baseball cap that I hadn’t seen since the last time we were together was sitting on top of his head. His sandy hair was sticking out from the edges, and curling around his ears and nape. He had the cap pulled low on his forehead covering his eyes in the shadow that the bill created. An impassive look was plastered on his face as I watched him stand there and stare at me.

  “Nice hat,” I shrugged as I pointed at it.

  He nodded at me as he stepped forward. His eyes scanned my face with a look of sadness in them at first, but he quickly hid it. “What do you want Leah?”

  I swallowed at his direct and unaffected approach, “I just want to talk.”

  “Un huh,” he nodded again. “About what?”

  “Us,” I mumbled as I twisted my hands in front of me. He was not going to make this easy that much was obvious.

  “There is no US,” he rolled his eyes at me and held his hands out to the side. “You made sure of that when you ran out of here five years ago without looking back once.”

  “I’m sorry,” tears began to well in my eyes. “I’m sorry…I don’t know what else to say to you.”

  “Would you do it again…if you had the choice? Would you leave all of this,” he spread his arms in front of him, “for another chance at gold?”

  “If I knew it would turn out like this? Probably not,” I sighed.

  He shook his head at me like he just couldn’t fathom anything I was saying. “So…if you didn’t get hurt…would you have ever come back?”

  “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I mean…I’m sure at some point… my family’s here and…” I trailed off.

  “See…that right there,” he pointed at me “That is why there is no us. I’m like this thing to you. I’m not a person, I’m just someone you used to see while you were biding your time to get away from here.”

  “That’s not true. I loved you Nick,” I began to cry. At this point I was so torqued up that I had begun pacing in front of him. “I still do,” I ground out between my teeth. “I still do.”

  “Yeah…well…” he stopped himself before he could say anything else.

  My head jerked in his direction and I glared at him, “You can’t tell me that you’re happy here. That you wouldn’t leave the first chance you got.”

  “No, I can’t, but I can tell you that I would have never made that decision without talking to you first. It would have been a joint decision Leah. It wouldn’t have been taken lightly either.”

  “You think I didn’t agonize over this for days?” I tossed my arms in the air. “I was only given five days to decide. This decision was life altering. It was my one shot at Olympic gold. Those chances don’t come around more t
han once.”

  “You sound like your parents,” he groaned. “I think you wanted out of here so bad, that you jumped on the first chance you had. You didn’t care about what it took to do it, or who you stepped on along the way. You saw me as something that was holding you back,” he turned and began walking back to the door of his truck.

  “That’s not true and you know it!” I shouted at his back. “If you really loved me back then, you would have understood what that offer really was. You would have supported me!”

  He stopped mid-stride and stiffened before shaking his head, “You have no idea what I did for you. None what so ever.”

  I crept up behind him and placed my hand on his shoulder lightly before whispering, “Tell me.”

  He spun so fast, I had to step back to keep from getting knocked down. “I had several scouts come to see me before I graduated. UNC, Clemson, Virginia…” he threw his hands out to the side. “We’d only been together for a little over a year. I thought what we had was special,” he spit the words out as if they left a bad taste in his mouth. “I turned them down…all of them…for YOU!” he glared at me. “I wanted to stay here and be with you,” he pointed a finger at me as he stepped closer. “I took a job I hated, and stuck around here to keep building something that I thought you wanted too. I knew I’d never be NFL material, but I could have gotten a free education.” At this point he was so close to me I could feel his warm breath feather across my face. “I musta been a damn fool to give all that up.”

  My mouth dropped open at his admission. I knew UNC wanted him, I knew others did too. Back then as a sophomore, I had no idea what he was giving up. I took him for granite. He was right. “I’m sorry,” I begged. “You’re right. I didn’t deserve you.”