Shattered (Shattered #1)

by D'Agostino, Heather

  “Avery Southerland I never thought I’d see the day. Logan was such a player. I hope you’re protecting yourself. No telling what he might have caught from the cheerleading squad.”

  “Oh trust me...I’m being very careful,” she winked. “Several times a week sometimes.”

  “Avery,” I gasped.

  “Hey…when you and Nick finally work your shit out, come find me. I wanna know what it’s like to do it on his desk,” she elbowed me and grinned.

  “I think my days of sleeping with Nick are over. Sorry to disappoint you,” I shook my head and stood. “I gotta get to bed. First day tomorrow and all. I need to get some sleep, although after what you just told me I don’t know if I’ll be able to.”

  “Sweet dream Leah. Tell Nick I said hi when you see him tonight,” she teased.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you Avery,” I groaned as I made my way into my room.

  As I undressed and climbed into bed, I knew sleep would evade me. I knew that Nick would permeate my thoughts just like he had the last five years. After seeing him this morning, and getting a visual of what I’d missed, I knew my dreams would be that much clearer. Nick no longer looked like the nineteen year old I’d left. His body had grown into the man I once knew he’d become. Tonight was going to be a long sleepless night.

  Chapter 5

  Leah

  The next day seemed to go by in a blur. The fact that I’d had so little sleep the night before hadn’t caught up with me yet. With the agreement that I’d signed with the high school, all I was committed to was coaching. As unfair as it may have seemed to the other faculty, I wasn’t required to actually teach any classes.

  As I sat in my office that afternoon waiting for the final bell to ring, I had begun putting together a practice routine. I had no idea what I’d be working with, and I wanted to get a feel for each team member. The stats from the previous season were scattered on my desk, and I had charts tacked up on the wall of who did what for the team. There were a few standouts that seemed to be all over the place. Chelsea Tucker had qualifying times in both distance and sprinting events, which made no sense to me. When a runner trains, they usually do one or the other…not both. I picked up my clipboard and made a note to talk to her about this. Another runner that stood out was Jessi Marron. She was a freshman that already had colleges scouting her. I’d heard the name mentioned from some of the trainers I’d worked with and was blown away at the fact that she was so young. I mean…this sounded like the next version of me.

  As I paced the small office writing down notes, I could hear Nick down the hall on the phone in his office. When I had arrived at the school this morning, I’d found out that Nick taught a weight lifting class along with coaching the varsity football team. Football always had been his dream, and I guess he was pretty successful at what he was doing. His team had made it to the conference championships last season, and he had a good chance this year of returning. Spring training had been going great so far.

  I sighed and groaned as I flopped down in the rolling chair behind my desk. I had to get my head in the game. I could not keep letting Nick invade my thoughts. I obviously wasn’t in his. I mean…I’d been in here all day, and he had yet to even stop by and say welcome.

  ooooooooo

  Nick

  “Stay away, stay away, stay away,” I kept chanting this as I sat at my desk studying playbooks. She was right there. Right down the hall, and nobody would be coming in here for another thirty minutes. I could sneak down the hall and into her office, and no one would even know what we were doing. “Get it together Sutter,” I chastised myself. Leah was not going to ruin what I had going here. This was my job, my career that I’d worked so hard for. I’d already had a couple of colleges send me letters asking if I’d consider moving up to the college level. I mean that would be a dream…to get out of here and coach for a team like UNC.

  I shook my head to clear it as I glanced back down at the playbook. After staring at the same page for the next twenty minutes, I decided to make my way outside. It would be okay to watch track practice, right? As long as I didn’t interrupt what was going on it would be fine, right? What was I saying? Leah was turning me into some lovesick kid again. I needed to stay away, but the more I told myself that the harder it was becoming to follow through.

  ooooooooo

  Without really paying attention to what I was doing, I found myself standing under the bleachers spying like a horny teenage again. Leah was about fifty feet away with the girls track team. They were spread out in a circle in the middle of the track stretching, and she was right there with them.

  Coach Wilson had never actually run or stretched with the girls, but I knew Leah would be right in the mix. There was no way that she would stand on the sidelines and let the girls workout without her.

  As she paced in a large circle around them, she began scanning the clip board in her hand before tossing it to the ground. “Alright,” she shouted. “We’re going to do a few warm-up laps and then we’ll break into groups depending on what you’re hoping to do this season.”

  As I stood there watching her, I was amazed at the way she commanded these girls. The respect that she demanded they show her was nothing short of a miracle. Leah, my Leah, was standing there in a pair of stretch pants and t-shirt looking like just another student in group, but the confidence that poured off her made her stand so much taller than the girl I knew five years ago.

  ooooooooo

  Leah

  As I walked by the water cooler, I tossed the clip board I was holding to the ground. I wanted to see what these girls were made of, and I knew I’d need speed to do it. A few stood there watching me as I pulled my t-shirt over my head and draped it on a nearby bench. The tank I was wearing underneath, clung to my body like a uniform. I normally only ran in a sports bra and bike shorts, but I figured that wasn’t really appropriate attire for a high school practice.

  “Ready?” I glanced over my shoulder at the wide eyes and open mouths of my team.

  They nodded silently as they watched me stretch one final time before heading the starting line on the track. Most of the girls were humbled by the fact that they had a once Olympic hopeful coaching them. Everyone except for Chelsea. The one girl who seemed to have made it her mission to put me in my place. She’d began barking orders to the team when we started stretching. It was obvious that she had been last year’s captain, and still thought she was in charge. I explained to her that we were all starting fresh this year, and I wanted to speak with her about her events. She was all over the place in her training, and this was going to cause a lot of trouble for her to be successful. You simply can’t train to be a sprinter and a distance runner at the same time, they require different workouts.

  “Let’s go!” I motioned for them as I took off in a light jog.

  Several of the girls just stood there staring, so I turned around and starting jogging backward. “Come on,” I waved at them. “Extra laps after practice if you don’t get your butts up here and run with me.”

  A few bright smiles began to spread across the faces I was staring at, mainly the younger students. Jessi had totally fan-girled on me when practice had started, and she seemed to be leading the charge now. Chelsea was the only one who was lagging behind.

  I slowed my pace until I was at the back near Chelsea, “You know if you want to be Captain this year, you have to lead. Leading means being at the front of the pack.” I pointed to the front of the large group. Chelsea rolled her eyes at me and began making her way around the group to head to the front where Jessi was currently residing. “If you want me to respect you, you need respect me,” I shouted as I followed her. “Now run!” I barked behind them. “I’m outta shape and injured, I shouldn’t be able to keep up with you guys…run!”

  A few of the girls let out some laughter until they saw I was being serious. It felt good to run again. Those days at the rehab center jogging on the treadmill were nothing in comparison to b
eing outside on pavement. The wind whipped through my hair as the bun I’d piled it into fell loose.

  We were rounding the last bend and coming back up on what would be the finish line when Jessi glanced over at me. “Race ya,” she giggled and took off full bore.

  The competitive side of me was not going to let her win. As I cranked it up a notch, I heard her gleeful laughter as our feet pounded the pavement. It felt good to let go, but I knew I’d be paying for it tonight. My ankle was still pretty sore from my last surgery, and I really didn’t wrap it that tight today. I hadn’t expected to feel like this again. Being back here on this track where it all started…the only thing that was missing was Nick cheering in the stands.

  When everyone had come to a stop and gotten a drink of water, I divided them up based on what they had run last year. “If you’re interested in doing something different, let me know,” I panted lightly as I worked to catch my breath. “I’m willing to help you in any way I can to get you where you need to be to be successful. We’re going to have a winning season. I can already tell,” I laughed as I paced. My ankle was already throbbing, and I knew I’d be taking an ice bath after practice.

  ooooooooo

  Nick

  As I watched the girls finish up their workouts and begin to head home, I stood frozen as Leah continued to pace. She seemed to have a slight limp to her gait, but she was trying hide it. Why I didn’t know, but Leah was never one to give into pressure or pain. Stand up and fight for what you want had always been her motto. I watched her compete injured more times than I care to admit. I’m sure that she knows deep down that she shouldn’t have run with the girls today, but it’s like it’s burned into her.

  Just as I start to turn and head back in the direction of my office, I see her turn and start jogging again. Is she nuts? I just watched her limp around and now she’s pushing herself harder? She released an angered growl as she sped up and ran full out around the track. That was the Leah I remember, the one that flew like the wind.

  When she came to a stop, she picked up her t-shirt, clip board, what looked like a whistle off the ground, and began heading in my direction. Knowing that I was spying, and she’d kill me if she knew I was here, I turned, and jogged back to where I had come from. I wanted to get back into my office as fast as I could. How would I ever explain why I was out here if she caught me?

  ooooooooo

  Leah

  As I made my way back toward the gym, my ankle was on fire. It was pulsing in pain at this point, and I was just hoping no one would be in the trainer’s room right now. I knew what they had in there, and I knew how to use it. I had broken this same ankle my sophomore year, and had used the ice baths many times that season. I had some of my best times that year running on a broken ankle of all things.

  Shaking my head as I stopped by my office, tossed my whistle and clip board on my desk, I turned, and made my way down to the trainer’s room before I released the sob that I was holding in. It hurt like a bitch, and I didn’t really want a lecture right now from anyone. No one would understand why I did it. Why I would push myself that hard. Coach Stallings was the only one who ever got the fact that I would run injured. For an athlete, competing with an injury is nothing as long as you’re not doing permanent damage.

  After letting the door close behind me, I went over to where the freezer was and started scooping ice into the tub. After filling it halfway, I turned the water on and let it begin to fill. Memories of the last time I’d been in here tried to surface, but I pushed them down. Nick had occupied enough of my time the last two days.

  Once the tub was filled enough that I could submerge my foot completely, I stripped off the stretch pants I was wearing. As I stood there in only a sports bra and bike shorts, I hobbled up to the tub and placed my foot in the slurry of ice water. A yelp escaped me as the cold clashed with the heat of my sore muscles. It had been a while since I’d had to do this. A chair was pushed up against the wall near me, and I reached for it so I could sit. No telling how long I would need to be in here. I had planned to go home right after practice. Avery and I were going to hang out and talk about my first day. Too bad my stubborn pride had other plans.

  As the ice bath began to numb the pain, I closed my eyes and let my chin rest on my chest. I was just about to nod off when the creaking of the door jolted me awake. I glanced up wide-eyed. It was Nick, standing there in all his glory. A pair of mesh shorts hung on his hips and a black tank top stretched across his chest. I swallowed as I scanned his form. He looked good enough to eat. Heat pooled in my belly and I felt my nipples tighten behind the fabric of my sports bra.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you’d left.”

  “What are you doing here?” I stammered.

  “I was coming in to get some tape for my wrists. I was working out in the weight room,” he shrugged as he turned and began rummaging through a drawer. “I’ll leave you alone.”

  “You don’t have to go,” the words were out before I could stop them.

  Nick turned and squeezed his eyes shut like he was fighting an internal battle, “Yeah…I think I do.”

  I pulled my foot from the ice bath and hobbled over to the table on the other side of the room. I knew I needed to give my foot a rub down and then wrap it before I headed home. I knew the routine, I’d done more times than I cared to admit.

  “Can you hand me that?” I pointed to an Ace bandage that was on the counter near where Nick was standing.

  He nodded, grabbed it, and turned in my direction. When he reached the table where I was sitting, he placed the wrap in my hand and quickly jerked back like I’d burned him. I averted my eyes from him as I began to massage my ankle. The jagged scar that ran across the top of my foot was still quite sensitive.

  “Looks like it still hurts,” he mumbled.

  “Yeah…it does,” I muttered. “It’s nothing in comparison to other injuries though.” My broken heart was by far the most painful injury I’d had to date.

  I continued to work the muscles loose and avoid making eye contact. I could feel Nick’s eyes on me, but fear of what he’d see in mine kept me staring at the floor. I moved so I could wrap the bandage around my ankle, but it kept slipping. I fought an aggravated sigh as I tried for the third time to get it right.

  “Let me help you,” Nick sighed as he squatted in front of me.

  I glanced up at him before relenting and placing my ankle in his lap. His fingers feathered across it almost reverently as he traced the scars from the accident along with all the surgeries I’d had. Pain marred his face when his eyes darted up to meet mine.

  “I’m sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve to go out like this,” his voice wavered as if he was trying to hold his emotions in check.

  I nodded in understanding. I didn’t think I could respond verbally without breaking down. When Nick finished wrapping the bandage and secured it in place, he released my foot and stood in front of me. He nodded in acceptance and started to turn and walk away.

  “Wait!” I called.

  He turned with a pained look of his face as he watched me stand and limp over to him.

  “Thank you,” I whispered as I rose up on my toes and placed a light kiss to his cheek.

  The moment I made contact, I felt him stiffen. It was as if we were complete strangers and didn’t know each other’s bodies at all anymore. I began to lower myself back down, but Nick suddenly turned his head and crashed his mouth into mine.

  As his lips moved across mine, it was as if the last five years had never happened. His tongue snaked out and ran along the seam of my mouth forcing it open. The kiss grew urgent as if he was afraid I’d suddenly disappear. Our tongues battled one another as he reached down and grabbed me behind my thighs, lifting me up, and spinning us so my back was to the wall. He leaned in with this hips and pinned me there as he continued to ravage my mouth. My head spun out of control with lust and desire for this man. Just as I reached down to p
ull his tank up his abs, he wretched his mouth away, released me, and took several staggering steps back. I stood there in a haze fighting to find my equilibrium. What had just happened?

  “I’m sorry,” he panted as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry,” he tugged at his hair and turned his back to me. He yanked the door to the trainer’s room open and stepped through it before uttering the words that would break my heart all over again, “I can’t do this.”

  Pain, confusion, and utter disbelief surged through me. What had just happened and how had I let it? I reached out and fumbled towards a chair as I clumsily sat. I leaned forward placing my elbows on my knees as I let go for the first time today. My body rocked back and forth as the sobs rolled out if me. I could not go through losing him again. I was not going to let Nick Sutter break my heart for the second time.

  Chapter 6

  Nick

  I can’t believe I just did that. What is wrong with me? Kissing her? Was that the best idea? No, of course not. Leah had shown me five years ago that I was not her top priority. She’d agreed to go to Atlanta without even thinking about how it would affect us. What it would mean to me. Now she seemed to be working her way back into my system slowly one day at a time. I needed to stay away. I could not go through that again.

  As I added more weight to the bar, I continued to berate myself, and laid back down on the bench. I’d already done more bench presses than I should have, but I needed to get her out of my system. The more I thought about her, the angrier I was getting. How dare she kiss me like that. How dare she come back here and think that she can just pretend like nothing happened.

  I lifted the bar off its supports and released a hiss, “one” I need to stay away. “Two,” maybe I just need to give in. “Three,” she looked so good in those shorts. “Four,” her legs wrapped around me were definitely my undoing. “Five,” I need to get her out of my system. “Six,” this is going to kill me… The more lifting I did, the more worked up I was getting. Anger and desire were fighting back and forth. One voice telling me to find her, push her up against the wall again, and make her beg me to take her. The other voice telling me that nothing but pain was going to come from this, she didn’t care about me, and I was wasting my time.