by Jani Kay
Bless the kid.
“Whoa, there’s more work to be done. The bar should be restocked. You know how you boys can drink at a party.” She pointed to a stack of cartons standing by the side door. “Logan, will you be a sweetheart and take care of that?”
How could he refuse her sweet smile? Of course, the prick agreed. I smiled as he took a hike over to the stack of boxes near the bar area. It got him out of my way for a while.
I high-fived Jamie. “You’re a genius, little man. A real fu . . . um, Malone.” I lifted the boy onto my shoulders. He was getting more and more confident perched up there. What had I started?
Lexi chuckled. “Oh Lord, the cocky gene got transferred.”
I grinned widely at her, indicating between her and me with my hand. “Just wait for our own little biker boy. He’s gonna rule the fucking world.”
Lexi raised an eyebrow. Fuck, she’d told me to stop cursing in front of the kids. I shrugged a sheepish apology.
“Our biker boy? You seem pretty sure of that.” She ducked her head so I couldn’t see her eyes. “Anyway, I don’t want kids, remember?”
25 — Lexi
Razor took a step closer and invaded my personal space. Pheromones or something fucking bounced off him because my pussy kinda went into a spasm and sweat broke out on my skin.
My head buzzed and I took a step backward. I didn’t like the way he affected me. The man was dangerous, because the need for him I’d been suppressing was rearing its head and I didn’t know how to handle it.
“I’m not smart like my cousins. Jade the lawyer and Rebecca the business woman, they’re smart and sassy, and I can’t fault them for it. As for me, I have one talent. I know how to make men feel good. I’ve kinda always known how to do it naturally. I saw the way the Irishman looked at me and I knew what he was thinking. I decided to use that to my advantage, giving you space. I don’t know what exactly I expected you to do, seeing as you were on the floor with your head gaping open and blood all over you, but I had faith you’d come up with something. Anything to save us. I’d never needed saving like I needed that night, and you rescued me.”
“You’re a fucking hero, Razor. You don’t believe it, but I do. You’ve done something awesome that nobody else could manage.”
“Yeah? I got the Irish—”
“No, you idiot. That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?”
“You got my heart to open to love. You showed me that I was worth loving. Nobody has done that for me before. I love that you did.”
26 — Razor
Cobra hobbled into the clubroom with crutches supporting him and Mia right beside him, where she belonged.
My brother brought something intangible into the room with him. It was the admiration and support of his peers and all the men who looked up to him as their leader. I was proud as fuck of Cobra. He’d endured more than his share of shit and still he was a hero.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and clapped. Cobra grinned at the spontaneous applause, his pleasure clear in the way he pushed his chest out just that little bit further.
“Hey, bro,” I said as he stopped to greet me.
Holding Jamie’s hand on her left and Bella’s on her right, Mia’s hair covered her face like a sheet as she dipped her head. I hadn’t seen her for a while and I couldn’t stop staring at her thin body, the outline of her ribs visible under her white shirt. Where had all her curves gone? The jeans that once sat snuggly covering a nice round ass hung like a sack from her frame.
I smiled weakly. She looked frail and tired, and not all that happy. I leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Hello, Mia. You okay?”
“Yeah,” she greeted back, a barely-there smile on her lips that didn’t reach her eyes.
The vivacious woman had melted away in a matter of weeks and for a moment it left me speechless while worry gnawed at me. The ordeal they’d been through clearly took a toll on them both.
Should’ve killed the fucking Irish. He doesn’t deserve to breathe.
Fuck, I hoped like hell that Cobra and Mia were okay within their marriage. They both looked strained and oddly a little out of place. It was strange that such a thought came to me and I wondered how much truth was in it. I couldn’t imagine a world where Cobra and Mia weren’t together.
Mia scooped Bella into her arms and kissed her daughter. She was best when she had her kids close. Jamie stuck to his dad like glue, beaming from ear to ear. He was a great kid and I was glad I took more attention of him while his father was away.
At least for once I did something right.
I wanted a family like Cobra’s. I wanted my kids to adore me the way Jamie and Isabella did their parents. And I wanted an old lady.
Not just any wife. Only one would do.
My mind spun. What would my life look like without Lexi in it?
My bed empty, deprived of her soft body under mine. Her sassy mouth, not only absent from my cock but never giving me grief again.
What if Lexi fell for another man and produced his offspring. I wanted to punch something just at the thought.
Could I live with it? The question roiled in my gut. I didn’t want to think about it, but it wouldn’t go away. Images of a life without Spitfire looked bleak. Fuck, I had my answer. I just needed to be willing to see it. Act on it.
What had happened that night was nothing compared to the emptiness I’d feel for the rest of my life if I didn’t fix this thing between us.
There wasn’t another woman for me. Lexi was everything I wanted and more. Was I going to let my stupid male ego and pride stand in the way?
The past was over. It was time to move forward and own my fucking life. Live for what I wanted.
Fuck, it had taken Cobra and his family to make me see what I really needed. I didn’t want to wait for it any longer. I had to grab my chance with both hands or watch the love of my life slip through my foolish fingers.
Ryder stepped forward and embraced Cobra in a man hug. They slapped one another’s backs while somebody whistled. Of course Ryder would be there, he always was. I smiled at Jade and watched her hug Mia then Cobra before Ryder pulled her into his side with a wide grin.
“Cobra, welcome back,” Hammer said warmly, pulling a chair out for his president and Mia.
“Thanks brother,” Cobra said as he cautiously turned to sit down at the main table Lexi had decorated with such flair.
Jamie danced around excitedly. “Look Dad, me and Lexi made that banner. And Razor helped us hang it. It says ‘Welcome Home’ and Bella and me colored it in.”
“And I put glitter on, too,” Bella said, holding up her chubby little hands.
Everyone laughed.
My eyes narrowed and rested on my brother. He wasn’t the same man I’d known and looked up to all my life. Something had shifted and I couldn’t quite figure out what it was yet.
Yeah, he was still my number one hero. Always was and always would be.
As far back as I could remember, I’d thought of him as strong and invincible. All knowing. Powerful. The rule maker. The punisher. In other words, I fucking worshiped him.
Cobra was God.
At least in my eyes he was perfect and the man I wished to be when I grew up.
Cobra was just a man. A man with fears and hurts and insecurities like any other.
He was like me. Fallible. Made of flesh and blood. It didn’t take away any of the love I had for him, in fact it was his humanness that made it easier to respect him.
In that moment, I learned something I hadn’t quite understood before.
I too, was just a man. I made mistakes like everyone else. And it was okay.
I didn’t have to be fucking perfect to be worthy. I just had to be real. Own who I was and be proud. It hit me like a splash of ice cold water.
I am worthy of love. Everybody is.
Searching for Lexi, I found her standing at the back of the room, kinda stuck away. The fucking Aussie kid was all ove
r her again and she was grinning up at him and touching his arm playfully. He planted a kiss in her hair.
“Fuck,” I breathed, the green-eyed monster overtaking my common sense. I whistled hard. Everyone quietened down and turned to me, surprise evident on their faces.
“Hey, Scorpio Stingers,” I said, my gaze wandering around the room, “we have many reasons to celebrate today.” I took Bella from her mother and raised the little girl in the air, sitting her on my right shoulder. “First is Isabella’s turn. It’s her third birthday and I need to warn all the boys out there that her uncle has already got his gun waiting, just in case. Those youngsters are gonna have to go through her father and her uncle to get to her, and that ain’t gonna be easy.” I smiled up at the beautiful kid. “Happy birthday, Bella.”
She giggled with delight at the fuss everyone made of her. She already had everyone eating out of her little hand.
I waited for the crowd to settle down before I spoke again. “Second, we have Cobra and Mia back with us. This is a great day for the club. I don’t have to tell anyone in this room what those two people have been through. I doubt any other couple deserves as much happiness as the two of them.”
The crowd agreed, patting both of them on the back to more applause. Fuck, now I was on a roll and I realized I wasn’t half bad at making speeches, I had more to say. “All of this was organized by my gal and I gotta say, I’m proud as fuck of her.”
Mia gave me a kick in the shin. “Ouch,” I yelped, “what the fu—”
She kicked me again.
“Language, Razor, or I’ll have to wash your mouth out with soap.” Mia hadn’t lost her feistiness, thank fuck.
“Yuk,” Jamie said, pulling his face as if he could taste the suds.
“Anyway, Lexi, babe, come up here.” I commanded, wanting her standing next to me and far from Logan. She shook her head, frowning.
Fuck. That wouldn’t do. It wasn’t like her to be coy, so it definitely wasn’t shyness that stopped her.
“Go get her,” someone shouted.
I strutted toward where Lexi stood, her lips parted and her eyes wide as if she couldn’t believe I’d make such a spectacle in front of everyone. She ducked her head as I reached her, refusing to meet my gaze. What was up with Lexi? She wasn’t one to shun attention.
“I’m gonna make a bet with you,” I said, my tone confident and cocky.
Her head jerked up and she narrowed her eyes at me. “What? You can’t be serious.”
“I’m very fucking serious.”
Her hands went straight to her hips. She pursed her lips and shook her head. “No fucking way.”
“What’s the bet this time?” Hammer laughed.
“That next week this time, Lexi will be engaged to me.”
“Holy shit,” Axel called out.
“You kidding?” Lexi said, her voice a little shaky and her eyes wide. She hooked her hand through Ox’s arm as if she needed the support. Spitfire was fucking adorable and I kinda just wanted to kiss the shit out of her, right there.
“Nope. You know I’m not one for losing, baby.”
I looked around at the crowd. They were loving it. The risk was all mine. I could be the one left being the fool if Lexi refused me. Again.
But this time I was going all in, balls deep.
I nodded my head toward Ryder and Jade where they sat watching with amusement. Each held a baby in their arms, rocking the bundles swaddled in pink and blue blankets. “I’m upping the odds. I’m betting Lexi and me will be married before Ryder and Jade.”
For once I wanted to be first.
Anyway, what the fuck was the point of waiting? I wasn’t going to change my mind any time soon. The sooner she wore my ring and was Mrs. Malone, the happier I’d be.
Lexi gasped and stared at me as if I’d grown a pair of horns. She folded her arms across her chest. “What if I say no?”
“You can’t,” I told her. “Not an option.”
Her eyebrows raised. “Yeah? Why’s that?”
“I already have your name inked on my cock, baby. That’s worth more than a wedding ring. It’s forever.”
The guys howled with laughter, the younger ones hooting and slapping me on the back as if I was some kind of idol.
“You’re a fucking champion,” Axel crowed. He got the hairy eyeball from Mia. “Um . . . sorry.”
“You’re crazy,” Lexi huffed.
I chuckled softly. “I am. Crazy about you. I want to marry you, Lexi Clarke.” His eyes bored into mine. “Say yes.”
“Say yes!” Jamie echoed, clapping his hands together and making everyone laugh. Bella started clapping too, “Say yes! Say yes!” she chanted.
“Jesus, you’re a bossy biker,” Lexi said. Her eyes gleamed and there was a trace of a smile on her lips she couldn’t hide.
27 — Lexi
Razor Malone had swept me off my feet.
All night I’d hardly given Ryder a second glance, except to admire how good he was with the babies. Surprised by my reaction, I stood watching him with Jade and their twins for a while and came to the conclusion that what I felt for the gorgeous man was nothing but a crush. His handsome face was easy on the eye, his strong muscled body lust-worthy, and his rugged no-bullshit manner endearing.
But that’s where it ended. I’d confused lust with love.
What I felt for Razor was something on a different level altogether. Just his presence in the room stole my breath away and my heart beat like crazy when he even glanced in my direction. I lusted after his body, I wanted to kiss his face, but I also just wanted to be myself when I was with him. He brought out a part of me I’d hidden—the yearning to really fit in and belong somewhere. I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than by his side.
Elated by his words, I kinda just wanted to jump right into his arms and kiss the shit out of him. But that was too easy. The bastard had to grovel for making me doubt myself and question if what I’d thought had sparked between us was real.
“You heard the kids,” Razor growled with a puzzled look on his face when I didn’t respond. “Is it a yes, baby?”
Exhaling a long breath, I tilted my head slightly and gazed up at him.
“What’s the rush to suddenly marry me, biker? Your bed not warm enough?”
He said he was crazy about me. That didn’t mean he loved me.
I was crazy about a lot of things . . . chocolate, black nail polish, leather on a man, kickass boots, dancing . . . the list was long. Didn’t mean I couldn’t survive without them if I had no other choice. They were nice to have, but not essential.
Crazy wasn’t cutting it for me. I needed more.
“I miss you, Lexi. I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life.”
“Get a dog,” I huffed, crossing my arms over my breasts. “Sounds like that’s what you need. Just saying.”
“Lexi,” he warned, a smirk on his lips, “don’t test me.”
He grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me closer so that I smacked right into his hard chest. He lifted my chin between his thumb and index finger so that my face was inches form his.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me that’s not what you want either.”
“You want the truth?”
“Of course.” His heartbeat slammed against my palms.
“I don’t want to marry you.” My voice was crisp, clear, unwavering. Loud enough to be heard in the North Pole.
Silence fell over the room. It was as if everyone was holding their breaths at the same time. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the satisfied smile on Logan’s face. Jade’s jaw had nearly dropped to the floor and Mia’s eyes were wide and questioning. She mouthed something that looked like “Are you really doing this?”
I would have laughed if my damn knees weren’t so weak.
Razor let go of me so fast that I nearly fell backward. The gap between us widened.
His voice was brusque. “You don’t?”
“No. T
he man I marry must want more than a bedwarmer.” Logan’s smile had become a cocky grin. Ha.
“What the fu— um what does that mean, Spitfire?” Confusion reigned in his eyes.
“I want love, Razor. I’m not settling for anything less.”
“Love? Didn’t I just say that when I told you I wanted to marry you.”
I shook my head. “No quite. Plus you told me, you didn’t ask.”
He looked at me in disbelief. “You want me on my fucking knees and swearing undying love like they do in those stupid chick flicks?” He said it as if it were a contagious disease.
“I do.”
“Fuck me.” His breath was a pant.
“No.”
“Lexi. I’m going to pull you over my knee and spank your ass.”
Little Jamie looked at his uncle in disgust. Mia shook her head and pulled Jamie onto her lap, whispering something into his ear until he smiled.
Jade pursed her lips and I could practically hear her voice in my head. That’s what happens when kids are raised around rough bikers. They hear things they shouldn’t. Boy, was she in for a wild ride with these men and two kids.
“I’m not marrying you anytime soon, Razor Malone.”
“Ahhh, you just fucked up, Spitfire. You don’t mean no, you just want me to beg you. That’s it, isn’t it?”
I folded my arms again. “Don’t be ridiculous. No means no.”
Both Jamie and Bella nodded, their eyes wide. I’d heard Mia use that line on them and I thought it was fucking genius.
Razor fell to his knees. “If this is what you want, this is what you get. I’m not too proud to beg, Lexi.”
In a million years I didn’t think I’d see Razor do something like that in front of everyone. I blinked fast and swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling like a damn fool.
“Tell her you love her, asshole,” Ox grunted. “Stop fucking around.”
“Language!” Razor and I shouted at the same time.
Ox held up both hands. “Easy. I think the two of you should take this somewhere private.”
“Best idea I’ve heard all day,” Razor said with a groan. Next thing he was on his feet, scooping me up into his arms. “Excuse us, we got some business to take care of.”