by Soranna O.
I want him to see that other men want me too, just in case he forgot.
After so many years together he takes me for granted.
Julian used to think that I would never look at another man let alone have sex with someone else.
So, he had the shock of his life when I told him about Sebastian.
His first instinct was to go kick his ass but I stopped him.
It's not Sebastian's fault.
The only one to blame is my husband and if he doesn’t change, he would soon lose me.
As much as I love my husband, I am living in hell.
I prefer to move on and lose him forever rather than cry every single day and wonder where my husband is when he forgets to come home some nights.
My plan seems to work because my husband spends all nights at home now.
He is scared that if he leaves to meet one of his girlfriends, I will leave the house too.
He doesn’t want me to go out and meet Sebastian.
I told him that from now on I will do everything he does.
We are equal, after all.
If he wants an open relationship, we will have one.
I wasn't surprised to find out that my husband didn’t want to share me with any other man.
Deep down, I always knew that he loves me.
But even though he stopped looking for other women, they didn’t stop looking for him.
This drove me mad with jealousy.
So, when I saw a text he received, I packed my bags and left the house.
I left him a note saying:
Check your phone and you will see why I left. I can't do this anymore. I guess you will never change.
For over one month I didn’t give any sign and my husband had no idea where I was staying.
Friends and family called to let me know that he was desperate to find me.
In the end I've contacted him to ask him to stop bothering people.
Of course, he managed to convince me to meet in a public space for a chat.
I was surprised to see how sad he looked.
I could clearly see that he didn’t have much sleep lately.
We met at a coffee shop but this didn’t stop him from kneeling in front of me and asking me to be his wife again.
This time he said that he doesn’t want any other people in our marriage.
Two is enough, we are enough, he said before kissing my lips.
Never Again
Chapter 1
Working with your ex is not easy. But when that ex was the love of your life and if you might still have feelings for him, then your life is torture.
Things can get even more complicated if your ex is actually your boss.
I have no idea why I let this happen.
I could say that I really need this job and I can't afford to quit but that would be a lie.
Sure, I love what I do and if I quit I doubt I would find a better paid job in the city but that is not the real reason why I am still Raul's personal assistant.
I just love to be around him. I can't imagine not seeing him every day.
I know it sounds pathetic and I would not admit that to anyone.
It's my naughty little secret.
Raul is always on my mind even when I spend the night with another man.
I have tried to forget him by sleeping around.
I know, it's not how a young lady should behave but I was desperate.
I would have done anything to get over Raul.
He broke my heart in little pieces and even though it's been two years since the last time we made love, I still fantasize about him.
Alice, my best friend, keeps on sending me to these blind dates.
She even created an online profile for me.
Alice is doing her best to find me a great match.
She is in a happy relationship and I guess she wants the same for me.
Even though I don't like to talk about it, she knows the reason I can't move on with my life is because I am still in love with Raul.
When I first met Raul, I was just graduating and I was looking for a job.
I lost count of how many rejection emails and phone calls I received.
All the jobs I applied to wanted people with experience.
All except for one.
Raul was willing to give me a chance.
At first, I thought it was because he could see my potential but he later admitted that he was attracted to me.
Knowing that I got the job based on my looks was both thrilling and offending.
I've decided to go with thrilling.
Also, I was head over hills in love with him too ever since I first saw him.
So I couldn’t really act offended or blame him.
The heart wants what the heart wants, right?
Chapter 2
Raul showed up at my place on my birthday with one hundred red roses.
I was speechless.
There he was: my sexy boss with my favorite flowers and his amazing smile.
I melted.
When he kissed me that night I felt like all my dreams had come true.
I thought that was my happy ending.
I have found the prince my mom kept talking about. Of course, the fact that he was a billionaire didn't matter but it didn’t hurt either.
I never knew how it felt not to worry about money.
Things were perfect for a while but like all good things, it was over before I knew it.
One day I was out shopping with Alice when I saw a happy couple kissing.
My heart dropped to my feet when I realized why the man looked so familiar.
It was Raul…
He was kissing passionately a beautiful woman.
Of course Alice assured me that I was much more beautiful than that other woman but as my best friend she is supposed to say this.
Alice wanted to go there and give them a piece of her mind.
She was just as angry and hurt as I was.
I couldn’t move or say anything for a few seconds. It was like I wasn’t even in my body anymore.
This can't be true, I kept repeating to myself.
Raul would never do this to me.
But the truth was right there, a few feet from where we were standing.
I grabbed my friend's hand and asked her to go.
I couldn’t face Raul in that moment. I needed a moment to process what I just saw.
I couldn’t find excuses and say that maybe I didn’t see right, maybe it was just my imagination.
Alice was there too and she saw the same thing.
Raul was kissing another woman.
I knew what I had to do.
That very night, I went to his house and I broke off the relationship.
I also quit my job but I accepted to come back to work as long as he promised to keep things professional.
I knew Raul was what people call a bad boy.
He loved to be the center of attention especially if that attention was coming from hot, beautiful women.
However, I hoped that I was enough for him.
When Alice warned me about men like him, I told her that he just needed to find real love and that he found it with me.
I could give him everything in bed and outside of bed. Why would he look somewhere else?
Why would he need another woman?
I was so wrong…
I guess my naivety is to blame for all the pain I am still feeling even now, after two years.
I tried to show Raul that I've moved on.
That I wasn’t still thinking about him.
I think I've succeeded.
He saw me with other men and I could clearly see this made him jealous.
His jealousy gave me at least some satisfaction. Revenge is indeed sweet.
However, I tasted my own medicine when I saw him with other women too.
Chapter 3
Even when he was dating other women, Raul was still trying to get me to forgive him
and give our relationship another chance.
He told me that he was stupid to ruin what we had and that I am the only woman he ever loved.
But how can I trust him now?
He probably says the same thing to other women too. No, I couldn’t allow him to hurt me again.
I had to keep my distance even if I still had to work with him almost every single day.
A part of me still hated him for the way he ruined all my dreams.
I was hoping to have a family with him. He was my first love and I hoped the last too.
Now I hope I get to love another man when I feel ready to open my heart again.
For now, I would love to make him feel what I felt the day I saw him kissing that woman.
My opportunity for revenge came when I least expected.
James is one of his friends and he often comes by his office.
I know James likes me because he undresses me with his eyes every time we meet.
I think James is the only man who can make me feel naughty without even touching me. I am sure he is very good in bed too.
I know I shouldn’t be thinking about this. He is Raul's friend.
But then again, Raul did betray me. I owed him nothing.
Raul gets so jealous whenever he sees a man show any interest in me.
I wonder how he would feel if I would start dating James.
Thinking about this makes me smile.
Just in that moment, James looks at me and I blush.
Now he thinks I am smiling at him.
He smiles back.
Well, this is what I wanted after all.
On his way out, he stops by my desk and asks for my private phone number.
I hesitate for a second but then I write it on a piece of paper.
My hands are trembling and I hope he didn’t notice. I don’t want to seem shy or insecure.
He promised to call me and then left in a hurry.
Raul saw us talking and he asked me what did he want.
He knows his friend only too well.
He is a playboy too and he is not surprised when I tell him that he asked for my number.
What is surprising to him though is the fact that I actually gave him my number.
Raul is angry and I can see the fire in his eyes. But he has no right to tell me what to do and he knows this.
We are not together anymore and he is the one who cheated on me.
I can't believe how happy I am to see Raul get so angry and jealous.
I don’t want to get my hopes up but I think this means he still feels something for me.
Maybe I am not the only one obsessing about what we had. What we could still have.
If only he could show me that he changed…
But it's all in my head.
People don't change, that's what my mother used to say.
Chapter 4
The more time I spend with James, the more I start to like him.
I can see he is a good man and I love that he is always helping people.
James is not like those rich snobs who only care about themselves.
It feels so good to just enjoy the moment with a man and not think about the future.
With Raul I always wondered if we will ever get married.
I was obsessed with him. I still am if I am being honest with myself.
James is a good distraction though. I can't complain. He asked me one day what was the deal with me and Raul.
My first instinct was to say that we dated for a while but that it was nothing serious.
This might be true for Raul but for me it was very serious.
I couldn’t lie to James. I told him that Raul broke my heart and that I am still thinking about him.
I also said that I would understand if that means he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.
What man could accept a woman who is in love with another man…
But James surprised me once again.
He told me that he knows exactly how I feel.
He took a very long time to get over his ex too.
If it's true love you can't just move on.
It takes time.
James promised to help me forget about Raul.
He is not asking for anything in return.
I just hope he is not falling in love with me.
I told him that I want to keep our relationship casual.
Just friends with benefits.
I am sure no man would say no to that and James was no exception.
He's happy with our agreement.
Alice told me to be careful because I can have a powerful effect on men.
Without any modesty, I know she is right.
I only wish I had this effect on Raul.
Apparently he was immune to my charms since he could cheat on me without a second thought.
Chapter 5
Ever since I started dating James, he doesn’t come by the office anymore.
He and Raul had a falling out because of me.
James confirmed that Raul could not accept to see me with him.
He is jealous and even though I am not his girlfriend anymore, he doesn’t want to see me with any other man.
This should make me angry.
Raul seems to think that I am his property.
That he can sleep with half a city while I wait for him to come to his senses like a good girl.
Well, turns out that I am not such a good girl.
In fact, James tells me that I am a very bad girl.
We are great together and he is an amazing lover.
Of course, Raul is also very good and just because I have feelings for Raul, our sex is even better.
But James is all I have so I won't complain.
In a way I think a relationship without love is much better because then there is no drama, no tears and no broken hearts.
This is the reason why I asked James no to fall in love.
The last thing I want is to hurt him.
I know I could never love him.
Not the way I love Raul.
I am attached to James but I can't promise him that my feelings will ever change.
James assured me that his heart is closed.
He doesn’t allow anyone to hurt him. This makes me feel better.
I wish I could be more like him. Maybe in time I will close my heart too.
Raul keeps asking me to stay overtime and he's assigning me more and more projects.
He doesn’t want to admit it but I know this is his way of sabotaging my new relationship.
If only he knew how I really feel… But I can't tell him the truth.
This would make him feel that he has some power over me and I can't allow that.
He deserves to feel this way and revenge feels so good.
Raul told me that I could at least find someone who is not a friend of his.
I know this was not a very nice thing to do, but I was so angry.
This has helped me start to forgive him.
Now we are almost even.
One night, before I left work, Raul stopped me and without a word, he kissed me.
I forgot for a moment about the world around us.
I forgot all about what he did and about James.
Then suddenly it all came rushing back and I stopped the kiss.
It was painful to push him away.
For a moment, I felt like my heart was whole again.
I had to stop it though.
Raul was probably just playing with me.
Or maybe he was in some competition with James and he wanted to show him that he could take me away from him.
Of course I never told Raul that my relationship was James wasn’t serious.
I let him believe that we were in love and happy.
This was the part that was driving him crazy.
I've dated other men since we broke up but he knew I wasn’t in love with any of them.
This time I acted like I was head ove
r hills in love with James.
Chapter 6
I couldn’t wait to tell James about what happened with Raul.
We were dating but he was also a good friend and I felt like I could talk to him about anything.
What I didn’t expect was to see that look on James' face. He looked hurt and sad.
I had no idea what was wrong.
I thought maybe he had some problems I didn’t know about.
He then told me that he was starting to have feelings for me.
How was that possible?
I thought his heart was closed.
Just like Raul, he could have any woman he wanted.
A different woman every night if that was what he wanted.
For a while he did just that.
But ever since he met me and he saw how much I love Raul, he realized that's what he wanted too.
I thought maybe he just wanted love from a woman.
Any woman.
This didn’t mean that he wanted me.
But James was sure of his feelings.
He said he felt that way for a while but he waited to tell me because he wanted to be sure.
I never made any promises so he knew that I was not over Raul.
Maybe I will never be. James didn’t have any hard feelings towards me.
He was just angry because he knew Raul didn’t deserve my love.
I knew he was right but there was nothing I could do.
Also, lately I was starting to think that maybe Raul had changed.
He stopped dating or at least I didn’t see him with any women.
He was focused just on me and he did his best to earn back my trust.
Just when I was starting to consider going back to Raul, James blind sighted me with his feelings.
Now I was feeling confused. I told James that I needed some time alone to think.
I told Raul the same thing.
Maybe I just needed some time with myself to sort out my feelings.
Since James told me that he loved me, I kept thinking about him.
Suddenly I felt butterflies.
Did that mean I was falling in love with James too?
But what About Raul?
I was sure that I still loved him too.
One thing was for sure.