My Mother in Law's Lover

by S M Mala

‘Isn’t she a bit young to be hanging out with the rigamortis crowd?’

  ‘Not exactly.’ I can see Maggie’s looking slightly ill at ease.

  ‘Spit it out Maggie?’ I walk over to the fridge to see what’s worth nicking.

  ‘She’s with Hal.’ I don’t say anything for a few moments but I feel the muscles in my neck tighten.

  ‘How nice!’ I open a container of olives and start eating them very quickly.

  ‘Haven’t you spoken to him?’ she asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

  ‘No, why should I?’ I curtly reply.

  ‘Not friends anymore?’ she says and I look at her closely from behind the fridge.

  ‘He likes screwing chaff flaps, so what can I do? I had some fun, managed to wind up the old bag and, now, I’m back to where I should be. Alone.’

  I know, I know, I sound pitiful but I have a right to feel sorry for myself. Now I’m bigger and better. Yes, I’ve put on nearly half a stone but frankly, I don’t care.

  I walk into her living room and watch telly for a while, waiting for the return of my daughter but I feel tense and check my reflection.

  Horrible!

  I really hope I don’t see Hal. I hear the door open and it’s her voice.

  ‘I know, calm down Beth, you’ll make yourself sick,’ Joan says.

  ‘If she’s sick over your shoes I’m not paying for it!’ I shout out. There’s some whispering and I can hear Beth’s footsteps running to the room.

  ‘Belle!’ Beth shouts, giving me a big hug. I always realise how much I miss my child when I see her in the flesh.

  ‘Hello, I missed you.’ My heart is surging with love.

  ‘Great!’ is her reply as she pulls away. ‘Guess what?’

  ‘What?’ I say, smiling at her beaming face.

  ‘We went to the animal restaurant and it was really good. I had-.’

  ‘Burgers?’

  ‘No,’ she says, looking at me as if I’m stupid. ‘Noodles.’

  ‘Nice,’ I say but knowing there’s something going on outside. ‘Why don’t you get your things and we can go.’

  ‘Do I have to?’ Never ever, in her little years has the child wanted to stay with Joan. I’m beginning to think she might have been drugged.

  ‘She had a fun day.’ It’s Hal.

  I glance from the corner of my eye and he’s standing there, looking all laid back and … I hate to say this, bloody gorgeous. His hair is shorter, his jeans extremely tatty and you can see his tanned thigh through a rip.

  His smile, oh shit!

  My heart is going all a flutter, I feel all hot and sweaty.

  ‘I got a toy!’ Beth announces, showing me a stuffed lion. ‘Good or what?’

  ‘Beth, speak properly,’ Joan says, walking past Hal and coming to see me. ‘You look a mess.’

  ‘Thanks Joan,’ I say, standing up. ‘We have to go. Come on Beth, get your stuff.’ She pulls a face and I give her one of my looks that shows I mean business. She walks out, dragging her feet. I see Hal stroke her head as she leaves the room.

  ‘Why don’t you let her stay if she wants to?’ Joan is hovering around. Talk about feeling excluded from this little club. ‘I’m going to get changed.’ Soon as she leaves the room, Hal closes the door.

  ‘How are you?’ he says, walking up to me. ‘You look well.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Have you sorted your head out?’ he asks.

  ‘Yes.’ He’s too sexy. No wonder I’ve had to buy a new vibrator since I last saw him. The other one just buzzed off and died on me at a very vital moment. The new one is called ‘Hal’. I named it in his honour.

  ‘I wanted to call,’ he says, putting his hands in his pockets. ‘But I thought you’d say no.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘Meeting me when I’m in town?’

  ‘For sex?’ The man is such a dog on heat!

  What am I complaining about? I should count my lucky stars he remembers me.

  ‘What else?’ he says, smiling provocatively.

  ‘I’m not getting involved with men who have wives or lovers,’ I say. He has the bloody nerve to think my pants would slip off so easily.

  ‘My divorce came through. See, no ring.’ He holds up his hand.

  ‘At least she has seen sense after all this time, mind you you’re the sort of man to wear the ring as a babe magnet’ I reply, seeing he’s looking at the floor and smirking.

  ‘I’ve thought about you,’ he says ignoring my comment.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I like you.’ Hal moves closer and kisses me gently on the lips. My stomach flips over several times but I step back. ‘You make me laugh.’

  ‘Is that when you reminisce having sex with me? Apparently it wasn’t that good, so I’m told.’ I say narrowing my eyes. ‘Then there’s Joan, we can’t forget about her, can we?’

  ‘Same deal applies as it did before. An open relationship,’ he smiles. ‘And you know the sex was great between us.’

  ‘Just give it a rest. Use your five finger shuffle when you think of me.’ The door opens and Joan comes swaying in, eyeing the pair of us suspiciously.

  ‘Where’s Beth?’ she asks, walking to the sofa. ‘I expect she’s crying her heart out, being forced to leave. Belle, you really are an inconsiderate so and so.’

  ‘I’ll go and see her,’ I say, heading off to find my child. She’s in Kai’s room sulking. I start helping her to pack as she slowly hands me her things.

  ‘Can’t I stay a bit longer?’ Beth sniffles and I can see the tears are coming.

  ‘I can’t leave you here and Joan’s got company.’

  ‘But I want to stay with Hal. He’s funny and makes me laugh.’ Then it begins, the tears, the little sniffs that will eventually turn to sobs.

  ‘Nana wants to stay with her friend, I’m sure they’ve got things to do,’ which makes me wonder if my child hears her granny’s grunts in the night. What do I care?

  ‘Nana says I could stay the night, she wants me to, she said-.’

  ‘She says a lot!’ I snap back and then see Beth has progressed to the sob stage. She starts to howl. ‘OH Beth, don’t start.’

  ‘I want to stay!’ she yells, and in a matter of seconds, Joan appears and Beth has run into her arms.

  ‘Did mummy upset you,’ Joan says, glaring at me. ‘She’s good at that.’

  ‘Beth-.’

  ‘Let her stay and I’ll bring her back tomorrow. You really can be a stubborn. . .’ She then mouths ‘bitch’ to me. ‘Beth I love you so much.’ I’m losing the battle with my daughter and Joan enjoys seeing me stumped.

  ‘Fine, you can stay another night.’ I say in defeat. This makes Beth turn and look at me with a bright smile on her face. The bloody little actress!

  ‘Go and tell Uncle Hal. I need to have a word with your mother.’ Joan lets go of Beth who runs out screaming for Hal, then she closes the door, walking towards me.

  ‘I want her back by lunch,’ I say, looking closely at Joan.

  ‘Thank you,’ she gently says and grabs my hand. What the hell is she doing? She’s being nice and I don’t like it. ‘I need to speak to you.’

  Oh, here goes! She is about to tell me about Hal and her. I really don’t want to know but my curious side takes over. I nod, waiting for her to say something.

  ‘I’ve got something to tell you?’ she says.

  ‘You’re pregnant?’

  ‘Belle,’ she says, ignoring my last remark. ‘I appreciate the time I’m allowed to spend with Beth, it means a lot to me.’

  ‘I don’t allow you. She fits in with your schedule.’ This woman twists things to make me out to be the bad person. It’s so bloody annoying.

  ‘What I’m going to say isn’t normal so I’ll cut to the chase.’

  ‘Okay.’ I stand there and look at her with a fixed expression on my face.

  ‘I don’t mind if you see Hal, you know?’

  ‘Come again?’

  ‘I have no
problem with you seeing Hal now and again if it keeps him happy.’ Her head is held high. ‘I know he’s not a one woman man so I can share.’

  ‘Pardon?’ This is surreal.

  ‘Oh cut the confused look out,’ she says walking to the bed and flopping on it, her nice side disappearing. ‘You look like you’re gagging for it from him and he likes … well girls like you,’ she says, her hand pointing towards me in utter disgust. ‘At least I know that’s no real competition and he’s going through a weird phase.’

  ‘I don’t get this.’ I’m scratching my head, slightly confused about this conversation. ‘You don’t mind if I sleep with Hal because at least you know he’s not going off with someone better?’

  ‘I wouldn’t have put it like that,’ she says, her shoulders slumping. ‘You’re not actual competition, are you?’

  ‘Not so long ago you belted me across the face when you found out I slept with him and now it’s okay? You want me to shag your man?’ I say trying to catch my breath. ‘And you don’t mind?’

  ‘He says he likes you and you’re up for a bit of fun,’ she says in disbelief. ‘He’s far more attentive when he’s got other balls in the court.’

  ‘You mean when his balls are banging someone else?’

  ‘You’re very crude, do you know that?’

  ‘You must love him very much to let him screw me,’ I say stepping a bit closer amazed at the conversation.

  ‘If he’s happy, then I’m happy. Anyway he always gets bored sooner than later and comes back to me,’ Joan says triumphantly.

  ‘Why would you let him spend time with me other than making sure his sacks don’t get overloaded?’

  She gets up and walks slowly towards me with a fixed smile.

  ‘Well at least I’ll know where he’s been and it’s nothing for me to worry about,’ she says walking past.

  ‘You can’t stand me at the best of times so something’s not right.’

  ‘Whatever,’ she dismisses and walks out.

  This is a very strange situation. Best I slope off and go to sleep. It must be a bad dream.

  I was fast asleep at home when the phone rings but to my horror it’s Hal.

  ‘Is Beth all right?’ I ask, immediately in a panic.

  ‘Don’t worry everything’s fine! We had a great evening.’

  ‘So what do you want?’

  ‘You,’ he laughs.

  ‘Go away.’

  ‘Did your mother in law speak to you about us?’

  ‘Us being a threesome?’ I shudder at the thought.

  ‘I think she’s being very liberal about the whole thing which is more than I can say about you.’

  ‘Why would I want to be liberal with you?’

  ‘You have been before,’ he sighs.

  ‘I was a little unstable but I’m fine now. Leave me alone and go shag the old crow.’

  ‘Come and stay with me over the weekend?’

  ‘I am not having a threesome!’ I bark.’I don’t know what kick you’re getting out of this but it has to stop.’

  ‘Will you come?’ he sighs.’It’ll be a lovely couple of nights away in the countryside and I won’t lay a finger on you… I promise.’

  Fourteen

  After driving through some winding green roads, we pull up at this large house and there are people scattered all around, laughing and chatting. I wonder how many guests he has invited. How many women will he be sleeping with? Not that I will be participating, no way.

  We get out, take our bags and go through the door, where a nice lady greets us.

  ‘Oh, I’m so pleased you’re here. Mr Elliot said to keep an eye out for you. I’ll take you to your room,’ she says.

  ‘Are we late?’ I ask, wondering why I’m getting singled out.

  ‘No but he wanted to make sure your daughter was in time to join the other children for an adventure.’

  ‘An adventure?’ Beth says excitedly and looks at me.

  ‘Yes,’ the woman says, smiling as she leads me to the room and Beth follows looking pleased as punch. ‘He’s good at arranging entertainment for the children, just to give their parents a little break.’

  ‘I bet he is,’ I mumble knowing that’s when he can get to fumble with the yummy mummies.

  There’s a four-poster bed and a single by the window. I wonder if I’m going to regret this. There’s a piece of paper on the side table. The kids are going on a horse and carriage ride in the country then they’ll be taken for tea. The adults are requested to join the host for cocktails before dinner at seven.

  After a few clothing changes from Beth, I take her downstairs and hand her over to the friendly helpers who are whisking off five kids but not after they are grilled by me on their whereabouts and how I can contact them.

  I don’t like the idea of her going off with strangers but the lady who met us as we came in, Veronica, has assured me they are in safe hands. A moment of hesitation crosses my mind but I’m told they’re qualified. I let my daughter go off for her bit of fun.

  ‘Don’t worry, she’ll be fine,’ a voice says behind me. It’s Hal.

  ‘Did I look worried?’ I ask, knowing I can’t hide anything and wringing my tissue in my hand doesn’t help the look.

  ‘Do you want to come with me so I can introduce you to the others?’ he asks, smiling at some woman walking past and checking her out. Some things don’t change with this man.

  ‘No, I’m going back to the room, I’ll see you later.’

  ‘Not before I see you.’

  I’m in my room when there’s a knock on the door. Hal’s leant up against the frame, looking slightly smug.

  ‘What do you want?’ I ask, as he waltzes in past me.

  ‘What do you think? I’ve come to check you’re all right.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Do you like your room?’

  ‘It’s a lovely house and the room is beautiful,’ I say. ‘Whose is it? Another lonely pensioner?’

  ‘Very funny,’ he smirks. ‘I did it up and I’m using it for a few weeks before the new owner takes over.’ He shuts the door.

  No way, I’m not going to let him get one over on me. I know he’s up to something as he’s looking at me up and down.

  ‘Go away.’ I’m a bit worried here but I better not show it. I also feel self-conscious. ‘Go on, bugger off!’

  ‘You’re not being nice,’ he says, walking to the bed and sitting on it. ‘I thought I’d take you for a little tour.’

  ‘No,’ I defiantly say and stand there with crossed arms but something’s making me smile inside. This is worrying.

  ‘What are you scared of?’ he asks, now tilting his head as if he knows the answer.

  ‘Nothing,’ I snap. ‘I need to shower and change then I’ll join you for the grand tour.’

  ‘I’ll wait.’

  ‘No you won’t. Can you please go?’

  ‘Belle, it’s not like I haven’t seen it all-.’

  ‘Belt up and move your arse out of my room.’ Something is making him laugh. I hope I’m not smiling at him. ‘Fine,’ he sulkily replies. ‘I was only trying to be hospitable.’

  ‘Yes, well, you’ve succeeded on one thing.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘You’re ‘trying.’ I watch him walk out of the room and slowly close the door.

  Relief sweeps over me. I can’t get in a one to one situation with this man. I find him too attractive and, from the gormless expression on my face which I catch from the reflection in the mirror, he probably knows it.

  I run a bath as I empty our cases and hang up the variety of outfits for my daughter and a three pieces of clothing for me. This bag is stuffed with all her accessories. I’m surprised I could get my toothbrush into the bag. Her packing system is similar to Joan’s. Everything has to go in ‘just in case’.

  The bath is much larger than mine at home, so I take the opportunity to relax without worrying if Beth has set the house on fire while out of my sight. I c
lose my eyes and think of nice thoughts, like what’s for dinner tonight and how many calories I’ve consumed today. This was a good idea to come away, even if it is with Hal and his bunch of cronies but the pleasure of having a leisurely bath is unbeatable. Relax. Calm. Serene.

  ‘You look chilled.’ My heart suddenly leaps into my mouth from the shock of hearing a voice. I sit up so quickly, a tidal wave occurs in the bath and splashes on to the floor. Hal is standing at the bathroom door.

  ‘Get out!’ I scream, covering my floating boobs and scurrying for a flannel to stick over my nether regions.

  ‘I didn’t mean to make you jump,’ he apologetically says.

  ‘What do you want?’ I ask, looking around for something to hide my blushes and bush.

  ‘Here,’ he throws me a towel and it falls into the bath. I flash him a dirty look as he grins then I quickly stand up, covering my body in the sodden piece of material.

  ‘I don’t know why you’re suddenly getting all shy because-.’

  ‘Put a sock in it!’ This man is a pervert. ‘That was then and this is now, so stop insinuating you know what the goods look like because you’re not going to get to un wrap this package.’

  ‘I don’t have to, I can see right through your towel.’ I look down and yes, you can see everything but I’m not going to get shy because that’s exactly what he wants.

  Quickly getting out of the bath, I march past him and grab some dry towels as I head into the bedroom. I notice a dressing gown and put it on, taking the towel off and aiming it for his head. The towel falls short and he begins to laugh.

  ‘You have no respect for me, do you?’ I say, wrapping a towel around my dripping hair. ‘Barging in when it suits you! If I knew you were going to do this, I would never have come. I thought you were going to be nice. Did I say that? You? Nice?’

  ‘Is there a problem?’ Hal grins and pushes his hand through his hair.

  Is that all he can say? That infuriating piece of shit! My heart is beating so fast I think my head’s going to explode. Calm Belle, relax, think serene thoughts.

  ‘Could you just go,’ I say quietly. ‘I need to get changed.’

  ‘The only reason I came in was to ask you if Beth had any special dietary requirements. Some of the kids can’t eat dairy or wheat.’