Chef

by Throsby, Lynda

  The police have just been after I called them again this morning. They said there isn't anything they can do about Reid because I have no proof he’s the one that’s been watching me or that he was the one that spoke to Dixon. I'm scared because Reid has to do something to me before they will investigate. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Just hide away and hope he goes away? Why do these shit things keep happening in my life? What did I ever do to deserve any of this? I've always just been quiet, never bothered anyone, and just got on with what I loved to do, which is cook and bake.

  As I walk around the corner of Casper’s, heading towards the back, I stop dead. Reid is there, leaning on the wall with a cigarette hanging from his mouth like he always does. I'm not around the back of Casper’s yet, so he has every right to be there, and I start to shake. I can't control it because he terrifies me. The looks he's giving me now are pure evil like he wants to pounce any minute and kill me. I can't move. I'm frozen to the spot, as he pushes off the wall and steps towards me. I keep looking at him, trying to gauge what he's going to do. I can't read him at all. I finally pluck up the courage to speak, “What do you want with me, Reid? What have I ever done to you? Why are you doing this?” My voice is all quivery from my fear.

  He doesn't speak — he rarely speaks, just circling me, eyeing me up and down. He must be able to see me shaking. He circles me a couple of times.

  “Reid, what do you want?”

  He's behind me, and I feel him close in on me. I feel his breath on the back of my neck where the hairs are standing up with the fear. He moves in close to my ear. “You,” he grits out right into my ear before he sniffs my hair and nuzzles into my neck.

  I swing around to push him away, but he grabs my wrists in his hands. He pulls me into his chest, tightening his hold on my wrists. He's hurting me. He's so close in my face that he must see my fear. I screw my eyes shut, terrified.

  “You have a kid? Does the boss know about that? Is that why you ran out of his place crying last night, whore?”

  My eyes fly open searching his face. It was him watching me. He's just confirmed it. “Why are you doing this, Reid? I don’t know you. You must have mistaken me for someone else. Please leave me alone. I haven’t done anything to you?” I plead with him.

  He grips me tighter into his chest, licks my cheek, then suddenly pushes me backward, and I lose my footing, stumble, and fall on my ass. He moves and hovers over me. “You stay away from him. Do you hear me? You belong to me now that I know. You. Are. Mine. I will be back for you both.” He then marches off, leaving me on my ass, shaken and petrified. He just threatened us.

  I sit on the freezing floor, my knees pulled up to my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs and my head resting on my knees. I’m shaking with fear. I hear footsteps. I freeze. Has he come back for me? The footsteps stop and then move quickly in my direction. “Macen, Macen, look at me. Macen are you hurt? What are you doing? Did you fall?”

  It’s Caspian. Of all the people it had to be him. I can’t look at him. I feel so ashamed. Ashamed about how I reacted last night and about being on the floor like a pathetic little girl — shit scared. “Macen, look at me.”

  He’s being nice. I can’t take it, and I cry. He sits on the floor with me and pulls me onto his lap to get me off the cold floor. He’s rubbing my back and has my head cradled in his neck. “Macen, baby, are you hurt? Has someone hurt you? Shhh, I’ve got you.” I feel safe in his arms, here on the floor. I know if Reid were to come back now Caspian would sort him out. I can feel the anger in Caspian as well as the worry.

  After a few minutes, I manage to look at him. “I'm okay now, Caspian. Thank you.”

  He holds my face and searches it, moving his hands over my head and down my body, searching to see if I'm hurt anywhere. He looks at me intensely, trying to figure out why I'm sitting here crying. “Macen, what happened?” I don’t know if I should tell him? He will go mad.

  “Something happened, Macen, You don't just sit on the freezing cold floor crying for nothing, so what the fuck happened?” He's angry. I know it's not at me — I think it's more to do with him wanting to protect me.

  I smile, lift my hand to his face and run it down his cheek. Then I lean in and gently kiss where my hand was. He frowns at me — probably thinking I'm some crazy woman. He's ranting at a crying girl, and she just smiles and kisses him. "I'm okay now you're here. It was Reid."

  He tenses under me so much that I feel him go rigid. “FUCK!” he shouts. “What did he do to you? I'll kill the fucker. I told him to stay away.”

  “He was here just now. I think waiting for me to arrive.”

  He suddenly pulls me into him and hugs me, kissing the top of my head. He's shaking. I don't know if it's from the cold or the anger. “Macen, he's dangerous.”

  I nod my head.

  “To you, I mean. He was warning me this morning to stay away from you, saying that you belonged to him.”

  I pull back to look him in the face, and I see the pity there. I don't want pity. I never did, even when it was all I ever got from the people helping me after my attack. I start to get up off his lap, but he holds me to him, not letting me go. “Macen, we need to call the police. What did he do to you? Why were you on the floor?”

  I tell Caspian about my suspicions that it has been Reid watching me, and how Reid actually confirmed he was watching me at Caspian’s place last night. The only thing I left out were the parts with Dixon in them. I can’t go there just yet. I told him about the police visits and that they couldn't do anything without proof.

  He looks around us. “No CCTV here. He knew the place to wait so he wouldn't get caught with you. And the CCTV from Casper's has no sound — they will just say he's a disgruntled employee. Shit.” He looks at me, and I can see the anger, sorrow, and what looks like awe or adoration on his face. I stroke down his cheek again. “Thank you, Caspian, for helping me.”

  “Hey, don't ever thank me for looking out for you. If he lays a finger on you again, I’ll kill him, Macen. I swear I will kill him.”

  He means it as well. We get up off the floor and head around the corner to the back of Casper’s. He has his arm around me, and I find it comforting. The problem is that there are employees coming and going and they all look at us strangely, some even snigger. Well, Caspian obviously doesn't care, so why should I. I'm still shaking from the ordeal.

  It turns out that Caspian had left for the day so he didn't run into me because he didn’t want me to feel awkward after last night, but he came back because he forgot some paper's he needed, which is when he saw me on the floor. To be honest, I'm grateful it happened that way as it broke the ice from last night. We’ll need to talk about it though, at some point. I get stuck into my work so that I can forget what happened, which is at least a distraction.

  The rest of the day goes by quickly. I love being a pastry chef, and I find I thrive in this section, but it’s the end of the night, and I'm dreading walking round to 5th Avenue to get a cab. What if Reid’s waiting for me? What if he's at my home waiting for me to get out of the cab there? I start to go into a bit of a panic. I know Caspian isn't around, and Tommy left not so long ago because he doesn't know what's been going on and Louis is now on a different shift to me. I brace my hands on my workstation and start to take deep breaths. I can't do it. I can't leave on my own. I’m shaking; my eyes shut tightly as I try to talk myself out of a panic attack. “Breath, Macen, just breath.” I’m gripping the worktop so hard that my nails hurt.

  “Macen.” I look up at Caspian. “Macen, what's wrong? You're shaking and sweating, and you’re very pale?”

  I try to smile at him, but it's feeble. I feel faint. “Hey, what's wrong? You don't look well? Are you sick? Has something happened?”

  I shake my head, no as I try to take in some deep breaths. He rubs my back. I'm still braced against my station. He gently pries my hands from the worktops, standing me up straight, as I take more deep breaths. He gets a towel and wipes my forehead a
nd face. He's very gentle. God, why is life so hard? He pulls me into him and rests my head on his chest — he must feel me shaking. “Hey, it’s okay, Mace. I've got you. Do you want to tell me what brought this on?”

  I shake my head, no. I feel pathetic. He's going to think I'm so unstable. I wonder why he's here — maybe to close up, or check on the cleaning crew. I'm sure I'm the last to leave.

  We stand like that for what feels like ages. I'm taking comfort from him, wrapped in his strong arms, and I’m hugging him back. I look up into his face. He’s beautiful. Why am I in his arms? Why does he seem to want me as I want him? He looks down at me and smiles. “You okay now? You've stopped shaking at least. Do you want a drink and to tell me what happened?”

  I nod, yes. He pulls away from me, and it's only now I realize he's only in a very tight white t-shirt and jeans. He’s got lots of tattoos all up his arms, and I can feel his biceps. He takes hold of my hand and walks me toward his office. We stop in at the employee room to grab a bottle of water each, and he drops the towel he used on my head into the laundry bin. Then he retakes my hand and leads me to his office.

  I sit in my usual chair, but Caspian stands in front of me, perched on the edge of his desk and looking down at me. I feel so stupid and humiliated. Twice today, he's found me stressed out. “Hey, Mace, tell me what happened.”

  I love him calling me Mace, but I feel so stupid right now. I lean back in the chair and hide my face. “I feel embarrassed, Caspian.”

  “Why?”

  I look at him through my open fingers. “I lost it because… because I started thinking about going home.” I rush the last words out.

  He continues to study me with a furrowed brow. “You don't want to go home? Do you live alone? Are you scared? You can stay at mine anytime you want, Mace. I have a spare room. I could give you your own key card, and you can come and go as you please?”

  I shake my head. “No.”

  His face drops. I didn't mean to say it abruptly.

  “No, sorry, Caspian, I don't live alone.” His shoulders seem to deflate, and his whole posture changes. Shit. “Oh, sorry, Macen, I didn't realize you had a boyfriend. That makes what happened last night even worse. No wonder you acted the way you did. I’m so sorry that I overstepped the mark. I should have asked you first.”

  I shake my head and stand up taking his hands in both of mine. “No, Caspian, I don't have a boyfriend. I live with my Grandma and —"

  “Phew, I thought I screwed up royally then,” he interrupts just as I'm about to tell him about Dixon. “So why did you panic about going home?”

  He’s now holding both my hands and rubbing his thumb over my thumbs. I watch his movements while I speak.

  “I started thinking about walking round to 5th to get a cab and panicked in case Reid was waiting for me, there or at home. My thoughts became out of control, and I guess I just had a panic attack. I bet you’re wondering what on earth you've done, hiring a stupid girl like me.”

  He squeezes my hand to bring my attention back to him. “No, Macen, far from it. Hiring you is the best thing I've ever done. I’m also worried about your situation. I came back here to take you home —to make sure you get home safely, and I will do that every day until Reid is no longer a problem. I have my driver outside waiting for us. I will ride home with you and make sure you get into your place safely. I'm not taking any chances that he can get to you. I want you to phone my driver when you are ready to leave home for your shift, and he will drop you off at the front. And I don't want you using the back entrance on your own.” He smiles down at me then brings my hands up to his face and kisses the backs of them.

  “Why, Caspian? Why are you doing this for me? The way I was last night should tell you to stay away from me. So why?”

  He kisses my hands again. “Because I happen to think you’re worth it, Mace, and I want to make sure you're safe. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you. I don't care about last night. You have your reasons for your reaction, and I hope you will tell me one day. If it's because you don't want me, then that's something I will have to live with, but it won't stop me wanting to protect you. I have feelings for you, Macen. Feelings I have never in my life had for anyone. I just want you to know that as much as I try to fight it, and know it's not good for my business, I’m struggling. My head is saying no but my heart wants you.”

  I go to speak, but he puts a finger to my lips to stop me.

  “Don't say anything. Let's get out of here and make sure you get home safely, okay?”

  I just nod. I'm speechless. This guy in front of me is so different from the cocky, arrogant man I've known. He’s caring and genuine, and I can see the sincerity in his face and in the way he’s looking at me with those beautiful eyes.

  I stand on my tiptoes, and I gently kiss him on the lips. “Thank you, Caspian, for everything. Please be patient with me for a little bit, and I promise, I will explain everything to you when I can.”

  He nods at me, takes my hand, and leads me out to the waiting driver. As soon as we get to the car, I feel it — I'm being watched again. I look around, and Caspian looks with me, but we don't see Reid anywhere. We stand by the car, he takes my face in his hands, and he leans in and kisses me on the mouth. Not a passionate kiss, but a loving, ‘I’m here for you,’ kiss. He’s making a point to Reid. To tell him to fuck off. To tell him he can't chase either of us away.

  Caspian

  WE'RE IN THE car, heading to her place. I wish it were for other reasons than to just drop her off and make sure she gets in safely, but this will do for now. That fucker, Reid, needs sorting out. I'm holding her hand, stroking the back of it with my thumb. Every now and then I see she's drifted off in thought, so I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it. She turns to me each time I do and smiles. She never objects to me touching her. Maybe she's coming around to the idea. “Penny for them?”

  She smiles at me. “I was just thinking how messed up it is that since I started my dream job, my life has been a nightmare. Wondering how it got to this. I don't even know Reid. I don't know his name or him. I'm so confused and terrified of him, Caspian. I think he’s unstable and you never know what an unstable person could do.” She looks away out of the window, as we approach her home. Fuck, why does it have to be such a short journey? I want more time with her. Just being with her and being able to protect her is all I want. Well, it is right now anyway.

  I give her a kiss on the mouth again. Nothing too passionate, but just enough to give her a taste for me, then I watch her enter the building. I’m not sure if these are apartments or houses. The price of property in this area is high, so maybe her Grandmother owns the place? There’s so much I want to know about her. She’s an enigma to me. Maybe that’s what the attraction is — the mystery of Macen Donald. Or is it because I’m used to women throwing themselves at me, and Macen hasn’t done that?

  I also know I shouldn’t be going there with her. This could jeopardize her career completely, and I find all I want to do is help her with it. She does remind me of me in so many ways, work-wise. She turns and waves to me, and I wave back before she shuts the door.

  Back at my apartment, Derek, the doorman, greets me as usual. “Mr. Kade, you had a visitor tonight, sir. I didn't let them up to your apartment.”

  Strange, I usually know if anyone is coming around. “Who was it, Derek? Did you get a name?”

  He shakes his head, no. “Sorry, sir. It was a tall man in jeans and a black biker jacket with a hat on his head. He asked what floor you were on, and I knew straight away that if he knew you, then he would know the answer to that question. I asked for his name to see if he was on the authorized person list, and he mumbled it didn't matter and walked out.”

  Fuck, now he's trying to get into my place. Thankfully, we have security cameras all over the building. “Can I see the security footage of him please, Derek?”

  He takes me to the little office behind his desk and rewinds the footage.

 
; Yes, it's Reid all right. I thank Derek and head up to my apartment.

  I must have fallen asleep again on the couch as I wake up in a sweat. These fucking nightmares are starting to take their toll on me. I’m so tired during the day because of them. I think I’ve decided to contact my poppa as well. Maybe he can give me some more info on my childhood. I feel like I’m lost because my life has been a lie. I need to know more.

  I also need to try and find out what we can do about Reid. If the police won’t do anything because there is no proof he’s doing anything wrong then maybe I need to hire a private investigator to get the evidence we need. I have to do something. The state Macen was in when I got to the restaurant was bad, and that was just because of thinking about getting home safely. I meant it when I said she could stay here.

  Macen is on an early shift today, and then she’s got Thursday and Friday off because she’s in over the weekend. That means we just need to get through today. I’ll take Thursday off and sort out the stuff from my childhood and phone my poppa. I have the meeting with my lawyer on Friday about the Vegas proposition, and I have some LA papers to get filed as well, which I need him to sort out for me, then if Vegas goes ahead, I’ll put a hold on Canada, for now.

  Up to Macen starting work for me, I had my life mapped out. My restaurants opening were my only real worry. Now I feel like my head is in turmoil, not knowing what to tackle next. To be honest, Macen is a priority to me. I never thought I would utter those words, ever — that a woman could be a priority over my restaurants, which are the loves of my life — what a turnaround.

  I'm heading to Casper's, and as I round the corner, he's there again, with a cigarette in his mouth.

  “Do you have a fucking death wish, Reid?”