A Staten Island Love Letter- The Forgotten Borough

by Jahquel J.

  “How you doing, Dr. Lopez?”

  “I’m good. Are you available to come in for a conference today? It’s pretty urgent and doesn’t need to be held over the phone.”

  “I’m actually free right now and not too far from the school. I can be there in ten minutes,” I replied as I nodded to both Shakira and Free, and headed out.

  “That would be great. See you then.”

  I knew they probably found out about Kiss being pregnant. At the end of the day, they couldn’t kick her out because she was carrying a child. With how much money I spent on that school, they better had offered to baby sit the baby when he came. I wasn’t trying to hear shit about her being expelled or dismissed from school. It took me under ten minutes to make it to the school. I signed in at the front and was brought to Dr. Lopez’s office. When I walked into the office, Kiss was sitting there with tears coming down her face. I rushed over to her and kissed her on the forehead before wiping her face. I hated to see any of my nieces hurting.

  “What happened?”

  Dr. Lopez closed his office door and sat down behind the expensive ass wooden cherry oak desk. He took a seat and then looked over at Kiss. “Here’s some tissue, Ms. Mooney,” he handed her a tissue box.

  “Why she crying? And why I needed to come in right away?” I questioned.

  He sighed and handed me an iPad. I looked at the iPad and I wasn’t prepared to see my niece fucking on the bleachers inside the gym. I quickly handed him the iPad back and looked at Kiss. She couldn’t even look me in the eyes.

  “Mr. Mooney, we pride ourselves on being the best of the best. Every month we go through the surveillance in the school to assure everything is in top shape. We came across this and wanted to bring it to both of the student’s attention. The teacher that was in charge, Ms. McGurry, has been terminated effective immediately and we want to apologize for not being aware of this sooner,” he apologized.

  I should have been worried about Kiss fucking, but I was more focused on what he had said about Justice. “Why was the teacher fired?”

  “I understand that you’re not able to stomach watching the rest. In the ending of the film, Ms. McGurry walked in on the students and said nothing to us. She didn’t alert the parents or anything of that nature. It’s been brought to my attention that Kiss is pregnant. While we won’t dismiss her from school, we will send her home for the remainder of her pregnancy with online courses so she can stay up to date on work.”

  “Why can’t she finish coming to school until she’s due?”

  “Mr. Mooney, we have a reputation to uphold and having a pregnant teen walking around our campus can hurt that very reputation we have built. I hope you understand.”

  “Nah, I don’t. The pregnant black girl gotta go home and hide, but the captain of the football team was just on the news for getting a DUI and I see he’s still playing the field.”

  “I want to do classes at home,” Kiss said. “Can we just go now?” she gathered her bags and stood up.

  “Very well. Thank you for understanding,” he smiled.

  When me and Kiss got outside, I wanted to whip her ass like when she was a child. “Not only are you pregnant, but you fucking in school now?”

  “He wanted to have sex and I couldn’t tell him no,” she replied and got into the car. As a parent, have I failed these girls? I tried to teach them so much about boys so they wouldn’t get played. I wanted them to know every move a nigga would make so they never had to play the naïve chick role.

  “Is that your baby’s father?”

  “No, damn. Why you keep stressing it? He doesn’t have a father. I’m fine raising him on my own.” she snapped and crossed her arms.

  “You got some fucking nerve to have an attitude when you were the one fucking in school.” I shook my head and started the car.

  “You don’t think I know that?” she sobbed. “I got an innocent teacher who was just trying to help me out fired. So, please save me the speeches, I already feel like shit.” she turned in her chair and looked out the window as I drove us home.

  I had two days to simmer on seeing my niece busting it open in the gym at school and the shit still made me sick to my stomach. Each time I thought about it, I wanted to slap the shit out of Kiss for even doing some shit like that. I knew some of what her mother instilled in her had to be there. In the two days, I also had time to think about Justice and hit her up. I stood on the hood of my car in the parking lot near Midland beach. Justice had agreed to meet me here. On the real, I just wanted to stop by her crib and have a few words with her nigga. I saw her jeep pull up and she hopped out. She was dressed in sweats with no make-up and her weave was pulled into a tight ponytail. Even dressed down she still looked so beautiful to me.

  “Hey,” she greeted.

  “How are you?”

  “I’m good. I know you’ve heard by now and I’m sorry. I should have told you, but with Kiss being pregnant, that seemed more important at the time. Honestly, I forgot it even happened. Todd was on the phone hollering at me about something in the apartment and I just wanted to go home. I should have reported it,” she started rambling on and I walked closer to her.

  Placing my lips on hers, I held onto her and kissed her so deep and hard that I never wanted to let go. When I pulled away, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “Why you crying, Ma?”

  “Because in the short time we’ve been hanging out, you distract me from my life. I love being around you and your nieces. It’s a beautiful distraction from my life,” she admitted.

  “Justice, I don’t want to be a fucking distraction from your life. I want to give you a life so good that you don’t need a distraction from it. I want to make you whole again. Any and everything you need, I want to provide that for you.”

  More tears fell down her cheeks as she looked up at me. “In a perfect world we would be together. I wouldn’t have had to kiss so many ugly toads because my prince would have already been by my side.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I’m a fucking King that needs a Queen, Jus. I need a woman like you that understands me. For the first time in a long time I felt whole being around you. I didn’t feel like I was winging life, I felt like I was actually living it and doing everything right.”

  She held the side of my face. “I care for you, a lot.”

  “Come with me real quick.” I pulled her hands and opened the passenger door of my Jeep. I was riding in my Wrangler today.

  “Why is it so high… what size wheels are these?”

  “I don’t know. I told the man the biggest he could get.”

  “And where’s the roof, Priest? It’s February.”

  “I like cruising and feeling the breeze. It’s nice tonight.” I hopped into the driver’s seat and pulled off. I headed toward the Verrazano bridge and played music from my sound system. All I Do Is Think of You by Troop came blaring through the speakers as we cruised our way to the bridge.

  “Wow! I thought this was B5!” she laughed.

  “Nah, this that real old school,” I smirked and held one hand on the wheel and one on Justice’s lap.

  We crossed the bridge and she held her hands up and out the roof singing along to the song and laughing. I hit the Belt parkway and continued speeding and taking in the view. I didn’t have a destination in mind. When I was stressed, I would hit the streets and drive while listening to music. It helped clear my mind and made me feel like everything was going to be alright. I got this shit from Sandy. She was always one to listen to music when she was going through something. Music had been a staple in our home for every emotion. We listened to it when we were sad, happy or mad. Come Closer by A Boogie and Queen played next and she clapped her hands.

  “This is my favorite song right here!” she squealed and rapped along with him. I turned it up and we bumped music as we continued to scroll the streets.

  Kiss must have added this shit to my system. “This your shit, huh?”

  “Yes. I felt everything
she was saying…. If you ever try to play me, you’re a whole dub,” she sang and swayed her hips in the seat.

  “I would never.” she cut her eyes at me and smiled, then continued to sing the song. Seeing her smiling and enjoying something as simple as riding in a car and singing made me happy that I could put that smile on her face.

  The song ended and then one of my old school jams came on and she laughed. “Yo, how old are you? Why you got so many old jams?”

  “What you know about Freddy Jackson? This my shit.” I chuckled. “I wanna know what’s been going on in ya life… talk to me baby,” I sang to her.

  “So much has happened in my life since we parted… what about you? Now that I’ve got myself together, I know what I want. And right now, I know that it’s you,” she sang back and looked me in the eyes.

  “Who old now? You know the words.”

  “I have my old school moods. I didn’t think you would be into old school music.”

  I switched lanes. “I like the old school shit better than some of this new shit they call music.”

  “For real,” she agreed.

  I drove all the way to Queens and then turned back around to head back to Staten Island. Kiss had the girls, so I knew they would be situated and in bed. With her being home it worked out well. She was able to make sure that the girls were taken care of while I was out. Mirror agreed to pick them up for me during the week, as long as I dropped them off in the morning because she didn’t do mornings. Since she was in Jamaica this week, I had been picking them up and dropping them off. When we approached the bridge, she sighed.

  “I wish we could continue to drive for the rest of the night.”

  “I would if I could,” I admitted.

  “I know,” she rubbed my hand that was on her thigh. Tonight, wasn’t the night to apply pressure to her life. I wanted to tell her to leave that nigga and come home with me, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t add extra stress into her life. When she left him, it had to be on her terms, not mine. I only prayed that she came to that decision sooner than later.

  11

  Freedom

  “Why are you stressing me, Zoe? I told you nothing is going on between me and Ghost!” I yelled and walked away from him.

  “Then why the fuck was his Bentley parked outside here the other night? Then you hugging the nigga on the block. You trying to make me look stupid, huh?” he snarled.

  This was a different side I had never seen from him and it frightened me. I wasn’t stupid, I knew that it would get back to him that I had hugged Ghost on the block. I also didn’t think Ghost would be all over me like he was. It was the main reason I ignored Zoe’s calls. I knew he would want to talk about it and that wasn’t what I was in the mood for. I didn’t need a nigga acting like he was my father when he wasn’t. The fact that the hood was talking about me and Ghost was what pissed Zoe off the most. It didn’t matter what everyone thought, I knew what it was and that was all that mattered.

  “You need to chill. Last I checked I’m grown, and I’m allowed to hug an old friend.” I walked by him and grabbed some clothes for Somali.

  I really needed to finish getting my house together. The kids still refused to come home. I think they were just spoiled from my mother cooking for them every morning and night. Then, she made them special lunches, whereas I would hand them twenty bucks and a kiss.

  “An old friend that you used to fuck. You didn’t think I would do my research on ya’ll history?”

  “The fact that you did makes this conversation even crazier. Me and Ghost were together years ago. If I wanted him, I could have him. Except, we are both past that and have grown up. We’re friends, that’s all.” I bypassed him again went into Samaj’s room.

  “I don’t want you around him. Dead whatever friendship y’all got now.”

  “Zoe, I’m not going to do th—”

  WHAP!

  Zoe slapped me so hard that I felt like my neck snapped. I held my face and turned to look at him. “Nigga, you lost your fucking mind!” I dropped Samaj’s stuff and went into the kitchen. I grabbed the biggest knife out the butcher block and headed right towards him.

  He blocked as I swung the knife around dying to just stab him once. A nigga had never put their hands on me and today wasn’t about to be the day. “Yo baby, my bad. I got so ma—”

  “Zoe, get the fuck out of my house now! You got ten seconds before I fucking do something I can’t undo!” I screamed and lunged toward him.

  He backed away and headed out the door. I slammed the door and then went into the bathroom to look at my face. He had busted my damn lip. What nigga slapped women?

  I shook the thoughts off of what happened a few days ago with Zoe. It had been three days since that all happened, and it was still fresh on my mind. I tried my hardest to try and cover up my lip, but it was noticeable. We had been in Jamaica for three days and I had managed to keep my distance from Ghost. He had been preoccupied with the girls. Since Marisol didn’t come along, he was doing everything for them. Mama Rae loved her grandchildren, but she was soaking in everything that Jamaica had to offer. Mirror had been to all the resorts party every night since we had got here. The resort had bungalows on the water and we all had one. Ghost shared a two bedroom one with the girls and Mama Rae, and me and Mirror shared another two-bedroom bungalow across from theirs.

  The resort was so beautiful and there was so much to do. All I did was work and lay on the beach with Mama Rae. She was applying pressure for me to tell Ghost. I didn’t know how I would tell him that he had two kids. How did you come out and tell someone that? Things between us were good and I wanted it to remain that way. Still, I knew that Mama Rae would only keep the secret for so long before she told Ghost. Not only did I rob Ghost years with his kids, I did the same to Mama Rae, Mirror and Staten.

  “Why you always over here getting drunk and working?” Ghost’s voice scared me. I turned and stared at him. He was wearing a pair of Burberry swimming trunks, white Tee and a pair of matching slides. He slid onto the stool beside me and waved over the bartender. “Let me get that good rum.”

  The bartender went to get him some rum and then he paid his attention back my way. “You gonna tell me how you got that busted lip?”

  “Somali busted me in the lip when she was getting something under the sink. Why you worried?”

  “That’s how it happened?” I could tell he was skeptical and didn’t believe what I had just told him. Still, I continued with my lie.

  “Yeah, that girl’s head is hard as bricks,” I chuckled and continued pecking away on my laptop.

  “When you gonna let me meet your kids? Where they father at?”

  “Dead.” I blurted. Why did I just scream out that the twin’s father was dead when I was looking him in the face.

  “Dead? How that happen?”

  “Freak accident at work.”

  “Word? What did he do?”

  I rolled my eyes. “What’s with the twenty questions, Gyson?”

  The bartender gave him the rum and he took a sip as he looked me in the eyes. “Wanna know something?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I never took you for the type of woman that allows a man to beat on her,” he responded, and I looked away.

  “I tried to stab that nigga and end his life. I’m not that type of woman. I will never be that type of woman, I’m raising a daughter and would never want her to think that’s okay.”

  “Zoe did this shit?”

  “Yes, he claims he’s sorry, but I’m done with him. No nigga gonna put his hands on me and think it’s cool. If he put his hands on you once, he’ll do it again. I keep telling Justice the same thing,” I continued to ramble on.

  “Don’t worry about him. I’m gonna handle him,” I told her.

  “See… no. I don’t need you getting involved. He realized he fucked up and knows not to fuck with me now. I bet his ass stay away from me now.”

  “That nigga is known for putting hands on w
omen. He put his hands on the wrong one,” he pulled his phone out and I sighed. When Ghost was worked up, it was nearly impossible to stop him.

  He walked away and then came back when he finished his conversation. “Justice getting her ass beat?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “And you not trying to help her?”

  “We’ve all tried to help her, and she continues to go back. Justice is grown and when she’s ready, she’ll leave him alone,” I sighed.

  “You need me to body that nigga?” he asked me. I could tell he was serious from the way he was staring at me ready for me to give him the word.

  “As much as I would love that, I don’t need that on my conscious. When Justice wants to walk away, she’ll do that.”

  “I hear that.” he nodded and finished his rum. “Anyway, continue telling me about how your kid’s father died.”

  I thought we had gotten away from the situation and here he was bringing it back up again. “He was a crane operator and the crane toppled over and he was one of the ones killed,” I continued to lie.

  “Word? I can probably pull up an article of the incident… I wanna know more. Where it happened at?”

  “Gyson, did you take account how hard that was on me and why I don’t want to talk about it?”

  “You right. My bad,” he apologized and signaled for another two drinks. “Here, have a drink with me.”

  “Rum? That shit is too strong and you gonna have me drunk as hell… where did your mama go with the girls?”

  “She went to take them to swim with the dolphins. It’s all that Summer been talking about since we got here.”

  “Your daughters are so cute. You’ve been blessed.”

  “I know. Some way or another I feel like being blessed with them two were karma. Two daughters? Man, the blood that will be shed if someone fucked with them.”

  Part of me felt bad because he actually had three daughters. Somali would be so excited that she had a father. I spent many nights wiping her tears when she couldn’t go to the father and daughter dances back in Georgia. In her prayers she would ask God to bring her a father. While I saw my baby girl hurt, I sat there and withheld information about their father. It wasn’t like Ghost was a bad man or wouldn’t take care of his children, I was afraid. I was afraid of the backlash that I would face behind him finding out. I had always been the sparkle in his eyes. It didn’t matter that I left him high and dry years ago, I still saw that sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me. I feared that once he found out about the twins, he would lose that sparkle and he would hate me. I could face and take many things, but being hated by Gyson Davis wasn’t something that I ever wanted to feel.