Surrender

by Kitty Thomas

  Julie refused to let herself process it or to decide on an emotion to have about it. She was doing all she could to hold onto the one emotion that made her feel like a normal human being: anger.

  There was another large box of toys near where she stood. Gabe was so lost in his own pleasure he hadn't heard the door open. Before she lost her nerve, she grabbed a dildo out of the toy box and hurled it at Gabe's head. It missed her target and hit his shoulder instead. She'd chucked it so hard at him, it made a loud thud when it made contact. It might leave a bruise, an idea she found ridiculously satisfying. This sense of contentment did not last long, however.

  Gabe rounded on her, his eyes blazing. But she was still too angry and shocked by what she'd walked in on to process the fact that maybe she should be afraid right now. Maybe she should have been demure and sweet and waited and hoped he stayed nice to her. So what if he was perving on her. It wasn't like it was the worst thing that had happened the past few months. And it was Gabe. He was hot. She'd liked him. Liked—past tense—being the key word, here.

  "I can't believe you would spy on me!" she shouted, more to fill the increasingly distressing silence than anything else.

  He stared at her for another moment. Julie paused to consider her options; the smartest one seemed to be running. Maybe she should have put on shoes after all.

  "Pam, stop," Gabe said. The girl at his feet hadn't slowed down during all this.

  She finally pulled back. "Yes, sir."

  Julie started to back away, inching toward the door, while Gabe zipped himself back up. Then he turned off the machine and started to undo the other girl's bonds. He didn't look up from his task when he said: "Julie, if you run from me, you will regret it. Don't move another inch."

  Julie stopped, frozen in place. There had always been something about Gabe. When he told you to do something, you did it. She couldn't explain why. It still made the most sense in her head to run, but Gabe said don't move and she found herself unable to go against him. She couldn't be sure if it was fear, or an emotion far more subtle. She'd always responded this way to him. So despite everything inside her screaming to run, she stayed.

  "Pam, you can go. Lock the door on your way out. I don't want to be disturbed."

  "Yes, sir." The girl spared Julie a look on her way out the door that made Julie want to run even more, but Gabe was stronger and faster, and he might not shoot her, but what the hell was wrong with her? Why had she gotten so angry? Because she'd stupidly trusted him. Though she'd known how foolish it was, she'd trusted him when he'd said he would protect her and that he wouldn't hurt her. But he just wanted to use her and toss her aside like all the others had. He wasn't going to like sex with her when he did it. She hadn't been very popular at Dmitri's house with the other men. She saw no reason why that should be any different with Gabe.

  The door clicked shut, and he slowly crossed the room to her.

  "Were you aiming for my head?" he asked.

  "Yes."

  "Be glad you missed. Sit."

  "W-where?"

  "My chair is fine."

  Julie crossed the room and sat in the chair he'd vacated. This was so weird. This whole thing was so weird. Sure, she hadn't thought past the initial thrill of throwing the first thing she found at his head, but this almost business-like reaction was freaking her out.

  Gabe paced back and forth and sighed. She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but this wasn't it. For a shocking moment right after the dildo had hit him and he'd rounded on her all fury and shock, she'd been sure he would jump out of the chair and pounce on her like a wild animal. But this calmness was more frightening. It was the behavior of someone who knew he had the upper hand and that he could take his time meting out whatever retribution he decided on. He was calm and calculated like Dmitri and that scared the shit out of her.

  "I can't believe you did that," he said finally.

  Julie stayed quiet.

  "Not even going to apologize?"

  "I'm not sorry."

  Gabe's eyebrows rose the slightest bit. "I know you're not a stupid person, so can I assume you're really brave?"

  Julie's hands started to shake, and she put them on her lap in an attempt to still them. She shrugged.

  Gabe moved closer and put one hand on either arm of the chair she was sitting in. He leaned in so close she could smell his shampoo.

  "Look at me."

  She looked up. Some of his anger had melted away. That was something at least. Maybe now she could go back to the be nice and sweet plan and all would be forgotten and forgiven.

  "I told you I wasn't going to force you to be my slave. But I still paid half a million dollars..."

  "You said that was ransom. You said I wasn't your property."

  Gabe pushed off the chair and took a few steps back as if he needed to put some distance between them. "Fuck it. I lied. You are mine. Yes, I wired up your room for surveillance. Half to keep an eye on you in case you needed something, and yes, half because I wanted to look at what is mine."

  Tears began to roll down Julie's cheeks. She'd expected another lie at least. He couldn't have the decency of shame about it?

  "Don't do that. You threw a fucking dildo at me. Don't do the pathetic crying routine."

  "So everything's a lie. You're going to take what you want from me and prostitute me and who cares because I'm just a whore anyway, right?"

  "Oh, for God's sake. No! I didn't lie to you. I lied to myself. I thought I could separate things out fully, that I could think of the money as a ransom and see myself as some big hero rescuing you. But that's not realistic. I do want you. You are mine. And yes, I know how creepy it is that I wired your room up. And if you want me to say I plan to unhook it and stop watching you-well, I won't. But I'm not going to force myself on you. And if you think I would share you with anybody else in this house or elsewhere, then you don't know the first thing about me."

  "But you said you weren't monogamous."

  "I didn't mean I would pass you around."

  "So you want to play around with others, but won't let me do the same?"

  Gabe's eyes narrowed. "Really? You want to play around, Julie?"

  She looked down at the floor. "No."

  "That's what I thought. And I was clear that if we were in a relationship, it wouldn't be equal."

  She decided to move right past all that. She didn't want to be in a relationship with Gabe Griffin. Or she shouldn't want to be in one. And she didn't think she could handle it anyway. "Are there cameras in the bathroom?" she asked.

  "No."

  "Are you going to put them in the bathroom?"

  "No."

  "Fine. I'll change clothes in there, then."

  "Fine." He moved back to her and held out a hand. "Come with me."

  "Where are we going?"

  "I'm taking you to the dungeon to punish you."

  Julie drew back—not that there was anywhere she could go with him looming over her that way, but she made a solid attempt. "I-I thought you said..."

  "You want to know the full truth?"

  "No." She absolutely did not. She was ninety percent sure the less she knew about his plans and intentions the better.

  A small smile crept across his face and then disappeared again, yet the amusement lingered in his eyes. "Tough. I'm telling you anyway. There is nothing I want more than to put a collar around your throat, force you to call me master, and start training you in the finer points of pleasing me. But I do care about you. Deeply. I have for months. And my feelings did not alter even a little bit when I saw you at Dmitri's. The way I want things to be between us is not because of some shame you're carrying around over what happened to you. I wanted these things on our first date. But I don't want an unwilling victim. I want you to come to me on your own."

  "That's not going to happen. I'm not like that. I don't want the same things you want. If you want me in your chains you'll have to take it because I will never..."

  "Give it some time.
You might change your mind."

  "I won't."

  "Be that as it may, you threw a dildo at my head. I may not be planning to enslave you against your will, but I sure as shit am going to punish you for what you did. You want to stay safe from my whip? Then don't assault me."

  "I'm sorry. I promise, I won't do it again."

  The smile on his face this time was grim. "I know you won't. But you're still not getting away with it this time."

  "But I thought you cared..."

  "Julie, if you don't get up out of that chair and come with me peacefully now, I will throw you over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carry you down. And then your punishment will be worse. Let's go."

  She stood up and his fingers threaded through hers, then they walked quietly from the room, down the hall, through the foyer, and to another more narrow and darker hallway. Annette and a few others watched from the foyer. Julie couldn't quite decipher the looks on their faces, but she was pretty sure that Pam girl had told everybody upstairs what she'd done. And now they had to all know what was about to happen to her. Julie's face flamed.

  After a few moments they were moving down the darker narrow hallway and out of the eavesdropping range of the other girls. "You don't have to do this," Julie whispered.

  Gabe chuckled. "Oh, if you knew me at all, you would know that is not true. I'm known as the nice one around here, but that doesn't mean I'm a pushover. Be glad I'm not Brian. I can't imagine what he would do to someone who did what you just did."

  The hallway ended with a set of stairs. Gabe led her down them. The floor and walls down below were stone with several doors on either side with windows and bars on the windows. It definitely looked like what she imagined dungeons would look like. At the end of the hallway was a larger wooden door with no window. The door opened and Mina stepped out wearing jeans and a dark purple tank top, her feet bare. She looked much less like a spy now.

  Mina looked from Gabe to Julie and then back to Gabe. "What could she have possibly done in this short a time?"

  "You don't want to know," Gabe said.

  "Oh, but I do," Mina replied. "Given what you told me, what could she have possibly done to warrant-I mean-you know how I was when I came here-even Brian would never..."

  "You didn't throw a dildo at Brian's head. You were too terrified to remotely defy him. That's the difference."

  Mina muffled a laugh and slipped past them and up the stairs. From the top she said, "You can use cell A. It's unlocked."

  "Thanks."

  "And Gabe?" she called down.

  "Yeah?"

  "Go easy on her. Different people react in different ways to trauma. You might not like the behavior, but do you really want to kill that fire?"

  Julie didn't exactly love the two of them discussing her like she wasn't there, but at the moment she preferred Gabe forget she was there. And she'd take anything that might help smooth over the situation she'd gotten herself into.

  "Mina, stay out of it. She will get the punishment that is warranted, and if she's smart she won't ever do it again."

  "Hey, I don't care what you do. I just don't want you to fuck this up. For your sake." Then she was gone.

  Gabe led Julie through the door marked A and locked it behind them. Inside the room were a couple of large boxes with mystery contents—but Julie had at least some idea by now. There was bondage furniture all throughout the room as well as a few large poles that went from ceiling to floor and had some sort of metal attachments on them.

  Now that they were down here, scared didn't begin to cover what was going through her head. Where was that stupid anger from before? As terrified as she'd been at Dmitri's house, it was nothing compared to right now. As bad as all that had been, she'd learned pretty early on that nobody was going to beat her, and if she didn't try to escape they wouldn't kill her.

  And as horrible as what she had to do was, she could play mental games in her head to make it sort of okay. Sometimes. And there were the other girls with her. But right now she didn't know what Gabe was going to do to her-what he was capable of. And with the surroundings in this room, things didn't look hopeful.

  She took several steps back until she ran out of space. Oh good. Smart. Let's stand in a corner like a dumbass where there's nowhere left to run. Not that there was anywhere for her to run anyway. The door locked with a key, and that key was in Gabe's pocket. And otherwise, besides the bondage equipment and big boxes of nightmare fuel, there were just four solid stone walls.

  "Gabe, please. Be reasonable. Please don't hurt me. I swear I'll be good. I won't do anything like that again, I promise. Please."

  He crossed the room to her, and now there really was nowhere to go. He pressed his thumbs gently against her face and wiped the tears away. "Breathe. I'm not going to do anything to you that you can't take. I'm not going to do anything sexual to you so you can stop worrying about that. But there are consequences to behaviors in this house."

  "C-can't I have a warning? Just this once? I swear I will never do anything like that again."

  "Arguing about your punishment will make it worse. You don't have to accept my collar or sleep with me or anybody else in this house. You don't have to call me master or submit to any kinky whims I have...unless, of course...you accept my collar. But there are rules, and you will be punished if you break them. The rules are: no physically or verbally abusive behavior toward me or anybody else in this house. And no disrespecting me."

  "What does no disrespecting you mean?"

  "It means be polite. If you have a problem with me, keep it private between us. Don't make our business other people's business and don't start fights or arguments in public. I might not have Brian's reputation in this house, but I do have at least some reputation. You can't undermine me in front of the other girls. You are being punished not just for what you did, but also for doing it in front of someone else. Our business is our business. It's not a show for the other people in this house. Understand?"

  "Yes."

  "Good."

  She half expected him to make her call him sir or something like that other girl had. But he made no comment on lack of address. She already knew what word he wanted her to use, and he could keep on dreaming. As if anything he did in this room was going to endear her to him.

  "Gabe, I-I know you have the power here and can do what you want, but if you want me to do anything with you willingly ever, then you won't do what you're planning because I promise you I will never willingly do anything you want if you do this."

  He laughed. "I see we've moved to the bargaining phase. I'll take that as a challenge. Let me warn you now that negotiation is over. It's time for acceptance."

  She'd started crying again as he pulled her away from the wall and led her to one of the poles. And now she was shaking again.

  "Are you cold or scared?"

  "You know the answer to that."

  "I'm just checking. You're about to be naked."

  "What?" By this point, Julie was sure this was all a bad dream. Maybe it was the tea. Could peppermint tea cause strange dreams? She was sure she was still upstairs napping and only thought she'd woken up. Maybe this was all part of the dream.

  "Raise your arms."

  The stupid part of her brain that couldn't ignore his demands caused her to raise her arms over her head. Gabe peeled the white T-shirt off, and she shivered.

  "It is a little cold down here." Gabe stepped over to the wall and raised the thermostat a couple of degrees. "Let me know if it gets too hot and I'll turn it down."

  Why did he care about the temperature? He was about to hit her. What the fuck was wrong with this guy?

  He opened one of the boxes and pulled out a long strip of black cloth. Julie flinched and took a step back but he caught her by the wrist and pulled her back to him. Then he used the cloth to blindfold her. He pushed the shorts down over her hips and removed her bra and panties. She just stood there. It was like that first night in the house with Dmitri when h
e'd wanted to ensure she hadn't marked herself up with tattoos and piercings.

  She remembered how she'd closed her eyes, as if it could shield her from his gaze. Was Gabe giving her space with the blindfold? No. She couldn't let herself ascribe kind motives to him. Gabe wasn't kind. He was no better than Dmitri. And possibly far worse. And to think she'd spent months praying and imagining Gabe somehow finding and rescuing her. Him finding her was the last thing she should have wished for.

  He put soft leather cuffs around her wrists and ankles and then attached her to the pole.

  "I wish I didn't have to do this to you," Gabe said. "Especially so early."

  "Nobody's making you," she said, not sure if that would rile him up more.

  He sighed. "If you really knew and understood me you would know I can't let something like this go. You don't have to be my slave, but you have to show basic respect, and these kinds of power struggles are not okay with me."

  She could feel him getting inside her head. As if this was normal and okay. As if she somehow deserved what he was about to do. He'd started this shit. He'd spied on her. He could lie all he wanted, but he had plans for her, plans she'd told him repeatedly she wasn't interested in participating in. And she was the bad one in need of punishment? He was in need of a jail cell, like all the men back at Dmitri's house.

  She jumped when Gabe's large warm hand pressed gently against her back.

  "This is going to hurt. There will be welts, but I won't break your skin. And you will only get ten lashes. Count them. Let's get this over with so we can enjoy the rest of our evening."

  She thought about arguing with him or saying something snide, but his tone was so utterly serious and-different-that all she could bring herself to say was, "Okay."

  There was nothing she could do to get out of this. All she could do was hope that he kept these promises. If he didn't-what then? And if he did-what then? He said he liked to whip women, so if he liked it, why did he act like this pained him somehow?

  A solid strip of leather snapped hard against her back, taking her breath away for a second.

  "Count, Julie. Or I have to start over."

  Sure he did.