Sanguine

by Carolyn Denman

  Noah’s affectionate laugh brought back a wealth of childhood memories as he pulled me up off the rotting log.

  ‘Somehow I doubt that he’d complain too much,’ he snorted as he began to lead me back to the farm.

  A young black and tan kelpie greeted us at the gate to the home paddock. Noah said her name was Wendy. Apparently Tessa had picked the name in the hope that if she wandered off to Neverland she might eventually find her way home again. Unlikely, but couldn’t hurt.

  ‘What happened to the second pup we ordered?’ I asked.

  ‘Snake bite.’

  I leant down and whispered in Wendy’s ear. ‘If you find Neverland, don’t ever come back,’ I advised. She ran a circle around me so I played with her until Noah got annoyed at how heavily it was raining, and pestered me to go inside. Tessa was waiting for us at the front door.

  ‘Wow, Tessa. That’s amazing! Look at you. You ate the whole moon!’

  She looked sideways at Noah, who beamed back at her with a proud expression. How long had I been gone for? They’d only just started going out when I left. A baby. Incredible. I hugged her and then gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She looked back at me like she’d just been doused in icy water.

  ‘Um, Lainie, careful. Try to remember what we talked about.’ Noah said.

  Right. Kissing. I wasn’t supposed to kiss people without asking first. That would take getting used to. We moved to the lounge room and I sat down as still as I could on the edge of the armchair to avoid doing anything else wrong.

  I had only met one pregnant woman in Eden. She lived in a village quite far from ours and a bunch of us had travelled to visit her. Everyone treated her like a queen because she was growing a baby. That was very special. I had seen only three children in all my time there and they were completely doted on. Nothing was too much trouble when it came to pleasing a child. They were spoilt rotten, and in Eden there was no downside to that.

  Tessa smiled, taking my cold hand and placing it on a particular part of her swollen belly. Something tickled my fingers. The baby was moving! This was so exciting. I would watch her as she grew the baby. I would get her anything she desired. I would sing to her. I would play my flute. No. My flute wasn’t here. I would sing then. And give her chocolate. And fruit before she could even ask for it.

  A car pulled up outside and I jumped up to follow her down the hall. How could I watch her if she kept moving? It was so hard to see with so many walls everywhere. All in a rush to help, I squeezed past her just as the door opened. Aunt Lily stepped inside, with tears sparkling in her blue eyes and her short blonde hair looking frizzy from the rain.

  ‘Lainie!’

  She swept me into a massive hug, kissing me all over my face. It was so confusing. She hadn’t asked permission. Perhaps I was the only one who was supposed to. I breathed in the familiar scent of her starfruit shampoo and sweet memories came flooding back with it. I had missed her so much. We both began to cry as we clung to each other. Tessa was teary too. Noah came out into the hall and fiddled with the door handle while he waited for us all to stop blubbering.

  ‘Er, can I get anything for any of you? Some lunch, maybe?’ he asked, probably looking for an excuse to leave.

  ‘Vegemite crumpets!’ I sobbed happily. He fled to the kitchen.

  A little while later Aunt Lily drew me a bath. She helped me to strip off what was left of my flimsy clothing and eased me into the steamy hot water. It felt delicious. My cuts were stinging but it didn’t matter because I finally felt properly warm again. I soaked in the lavender-scented water for a long, long time and refused to let my aunt leave. She examined the clothing I had wrecked, looking fascinated by the bright colours. It had been surprising to me too, at first, when I realised how innovative the culture was in Eden. The people there were human—just as clever and resourceful as on this side of the Boundary, but with much longer life spans to perfect their skills. That had led to a richly diverse society, with unbelievable inventions that made German engineering look as simple as a Lego set. It wasn’t what most people would consider ‘modern technology’, yet in many ways it was even more sophisticated. The main differences were that they didn’t destroy the planet to make what they wanted, and they only made things that were beautiful and practical. No mass production of any sort, and nothing was wasted. Pity I couldn’t show her my sleeping hammock with its nifty blanket spreader. All I needed to do when I felt too cool was press that lever with my foot …

  The shampoo bottle made a rude noise, disrupting my thoughts, and then my aunt started to massage my scalp deliciously.

  ‘Have you been happy, Lainie?’ she asked far too softly, as if she was afraid to upset me. I stopped blowing bubbles under the water and looked at her.

  ‘Eden is a wonderful place, it’s hard not to be happy there.’ There was so much I wanted to tell her, about the profiterole berries and star spiders and the underground trees, and the River and the Living Fruit. I yearned to share with her all the incredible experiences I’d had, but my throat felt suddenly tight and I couldn’t speak. The guilt felt horrible, like I was tied up in a thousand elastic bands. I couldn’t tell her anything.

  ‘Did you find your mother?’

  I nodded, fighting to find words that would work. ‘Annie is healing, finally. She’s much happier now.’ Well, she would be if I could get Dallmin back in time. Without a second thought I started to jump out of the bath to go and look for him but Aunt Lily pushed me back down.

  ‘Wait, Lainie, I need to finish your hair,’ she chided.

  It was a shock to be manhandled, even gently, and I flinched away from her.

  ‘Whoa, now. I just need to condition it, it won’t take long. Then I’ll help you get out.’

  She spoke to me like I was a yearling filly getting her feet trimmed for the first time. I sat still while she tried to comb the conditioner through. It took ages. She sighed when I became restless again. ‘Never mind. It’ll probably take a few sessions to get all the tangles out. This will have to do for now,’ she said, rinsing it out. My hair had in fact been glossy and tangle free just a few hours earlier—it wasn’t like there weren’t any hairbrushes—but I couldn’t tell her so I didn’t bother trying. I jumped out as soon as she was done and ran down the hall. She ran after me with a towel.

  Tessa had prepared us a lovely meal. It tasted strange after Eden food, yet not unpleasant. It looked very simple and it was filling. Pasta. I remembered pasta. It used to be my favourite. It wasn’t very pretty though. I would make something for Tessa tomorrow. I would show her what I had learnt. Wait. No. Tomorrow I needed to look for Dallmin. It was so hard to stay focused here. I used to think it was Eden that made me lose focus, but maybe it was the transition between the two worlds. They were so different that it was hard to adjust.

  Taking my bowl to the sink, I started to wash it until Noah took it from me and put it in the dishwasher, so I sat back down again feeling a bit awkward. Since when did we have a dishwasher? My chair creaked when I fidgeted and so I began to smooth my fingers against the wooden table, feeling comforted by its familiarity. The amazing kitchen table. It had been the centre of many difficult conversations in its time.

  Tess and Aunt Lily had been waiting patiently for me to speak, but Noah kept crossing his arms and looking at me, and then uncrossing them again and sighing when Tessa glared at him for it. He did it again once the table was cleared. I hadn’t yet told them why I’d returned, because it was a bit complicated. I ran my fingernail along a groove in the wood, mentally checking if I would be allowed to say what I wanted.

  ‘Someone crossed over recently, from Eden. His name is Dallmin and I need to get him back before he learns too much about this society, otherwise he won’t be allowed to return.’ They all nodded. Turned out it wasn’t that complicated after all. Just a bit embarrassing. ‘I stuffed up. I didn’t realise he wanted to come here or I would have
tried to convince him not to. It isn’t like our job here, Noah. We can’t force anyone to do—or not do—whatever they want. We can only try to distract or dissuade them. I guess I misread his intent. Sorry.’

  ‘I think I felt him arrive,’ Noah said. ‘Last week. Tuesday afternoon. I didn’t feel like there was any threat to Eden so I didn’t follow it up too well. I guess I stuffed up too.’

  ‘What day is it today?’ I asked. I would have to start keeping track again.

  ‘Today is Friday. He’s had a ten-day head start. Do you have any idea where he might have gone?’

  I bit my lower lip. ‘He wants to learn how to fly. He’s the one who saw us hang gliding and he’s been a bit obsessed ever since.’

  I was beginning to feel incredibly guilty. What if we were responsible for someone losing access to the Garden of Eden? It was a horrendous thought. The entire history between God and Man revolved around humanity’s fall from grace. Had we just let it happen again?

  Chapter 12

  About an hour out of Nalong, Bane’s nausea finally let up and he became positively chatty. Tim wasn’t sure which was worse. He watched Bane crawl over the back seat to reach his toothbrush and water bottle and then lean out of the window to freshen up. He refused to let Tim pull over. The dashboard lights announced that it was nine thirty-six, and yet Bane still kept trying to point out landmarks in the dark, as if he actually believed that Tim might be interested in seeing yet another grain silo.

  The endless tree-scape flicked shadows across the windscreen while Tim squinted ahead, trying to predict when the next roo would jump out, or wombat waddle across his path.

  Bane looked exhausted and yet he was getting more animated by the minute. It had apparently been some months since he’d last been anywhere near his home town, and the excitement was clearly getting the better of him.

  ‘If you look at the speedo one more time I swear I will turn this car around and drive you back to Adelaide,’ Tim said through gritted teeth. ‘I am doing the speed limit and not a smidge more.’

  His friend fidgeted but looked away, and then after a few moments he fiddled with his hair in the mirror. Again. Tim wondered if perhaps it would be best to keep him talking after all. Reclaiming the rear view mirror so he could drive safely, Tim decided his friend looked cheerful enough for him to risk another attempt at finding out what was going on.

  ‘I must say, I’m kind of looking forward to meeting this girl. She must be something special to get through to the Master of Serious Expressions. Many have tried, all have failed. You haven’t even told me her name.’

  ‘Her name’s Lainie. She is special. Heavenly, even.’ He looked like he was trying to suppress a smile. ‘And keep your sneaky paws off. She’s not for you.’

  He wouldn’t have dreamt of it.

  ‘Tim, could you please do something for me?’

  ‘If it involves getting some dinner, sure. Now that you’ve stopped putting me off food altogether, I’m kind of starving.’

  ‘Sorry. It’s not too far now. I’m sure Noah will find you something to eat. He loves to cook.’

  ‘And a bed? It’s a four-hour drive back to the airport. I’m kind of hoping you have a plan here.’

  ‘Of course, we’ll sort something out. That’s not what I was asking. Actually, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind arranging to send me the rest of my stuff? I’ll pay for everything, of course, but could you please pack up for me?’

  ‘What stuff? I looked around your flat, Bane. It’s like a hotel room. You don’t even have a pot plant. The most personal item I saw was your guitar.’

  ‘I have clothes.’

  ‘No. You have uniforms. And a couple of things for work. And maybe a tracksuit. They don’t count.’

  ‘Good point. Don’t bother, then. Give them away to the guys.’

  Tim nearly choked as his meaning sank in. ‘Seriously? Are you trying to tell me you’re giving up the Reserves? What about your ADFA application? Don’t you have an interview coming up?’

  Bane didn’t reply. He just started messing with his hair again.

  Tim turned off the radio. ‘Listen. I’m thrilled that you’ve turned into a real boy. No more Mr Botox. That’s great. A bit weird, but great. Still, mate, don’t you think you’re being a bit hasty? I mean, you haven’t even seen her yet. You have no idea how it’s going to go.’ He took a deep breath, bracing himself for a bad reaction. ‘What if she leaves again?’

  Bane’s fingers gripped the door handle, his knuckles white, and his voice contained a deep echo as if every last part of him was speaking. ‘I’m not going to stuff this up again. I’ll make her want to stay.’ His eyes stared out the window at some memory in the dark.

  ‘And how are you going to manage that?’

  Bane turned to him, his eyes dancing. ‘It’s called flirting, Tim. Someone told me girls really respond to it. You should try it sometime.’

  Chapter 13

  Everyone rushed to the front door, summoned by the sound of tyres on loose gravel. I was terrified. I knew who it would be. Barely breathing, I stayed on the far side of the kitchen table, my hands clutching the bench behind me as I heard the door open. The bowl of fruit on the table looked meek and friendly, so I started cataloguing what it was offering me, trying not to think about what was about to happen.

  Three oranges on top. Four bananas.

  Voices funnelled down the hallway, and a stranger introduced himself as Tim.

  Two red apples, one green.

  What if Bane was angry? He used to always be angry at me. Downright mean, even.

  Four kiwi fruits.

  Breathe, Lainie. If he gets angry, do not cry. Just breathe. He wasn’t always angry. A vivid memory of him smiling at me as he taught me to play our old piano eased some of my fear. His smile was adorable and made my heart dance, but suddenly the short time in which he had been friendly to me seemed like so little compared to the years in which he’d hated me.

  A bunch of green grapes. One grape had escaped and was hiding down on the table away from its family. It looked lonely, so I climbed up onto the table and sat next to it with my legs crossed.

  Someone was practically skidding down the hallway and then Bane appeared in the doorway and froze, staring at me with eyes as grey as shadowed snow. He was really there. His face looked just like the photo. Almost. I picked out an orange from the fruit bowl and noticed that my hands were trembling. I had no idea what to do. How could I tell if he was angry at me? And was he mad at me for leaving? Or for returning? What did he want? He wasn’t moving a muscle, not giving me any body language that I could use to read him like I had learnt to do in Eden. His face looked tired and pale, and I knew that was entirely my fault.

  ‘You look shattered,’ I said, holding the fruit out to him. It wasn’t the right sort, but he looked so unwell that I had to give him something.

  He breathed out a tired laugh, his lips curving upwards and lighting up his whole face. ‘And you look even more stunningly beautiful than I remembered.’

  The sound of his voice, so familiar, so … Bane, completed a circuit in my brain that had somehow been shorted out, and then the fruit bowl was in the way so I clambered over it and launched from the table into his reaching arms. He buried his face into my neck and I could feel his hot tears. The orange fell and rolled across the floor. I was home.

  Chapter 14

  Three faces were squashed against the lounge room window, fighting for space. Tessa was about to resort to playing her ‘I’m pregnant and need more room’ card when Lily shooed them all away and closed the curtains, blocking the view of the couple standing outside in the dim porch light that spread across the lawn.

  ‘Don’t you think we should give them a bit of privacy?’ she chastised them.

  ‘Not really,’ Noah replied, opening the curtains again.

  Lily growle
d under her breath. ‘Noah, think this through please,’ she said as she tugged them closed again.

  Tessa sighed. She was right. Lainie had sustained some minor injuries coming back from the cave and the last thing they needed was for Tim to witness a healing. Reluctantly she took Noah’s hand and led him away from the window. They had been waiting for this moment for so long and now they weren’t allowed to even watch.

  She turned to the newcomer. ‘So, Tim, can I get you a beer?’ He looked like he could use a drink.

  ‘Actually, I hate to ask but do you have anything to eat? I haven’t eaten since lunchtime.’

  It figured. He would have had no chance of convincing Bane to slow down long enough to grab anything.

  Noah tilted his head towards the kitchen. ‘I’ll heat you up some pasta. Honey, you sit and rest.’

  With a grateful sigh, Tessa stayed in the lounge room and put her swollen feet up on the sofa so Lily could rub them. ‘We need to make certain they’re clear about … you know. When would be an appropriate time for a chat, do you think? How much can Lainie deal with?’

  Lily looked pained. ‘We can’t risk waiting. They need to know. Do you want me to do it?’

  In the kitchen, Noah was chortling way too loudly at something Tim said.

  Tessa snuggled down into her pile of cushions. ‘Nah. I think it’s Noah’s turn.’

  Chapter 15

  I held on to Bane as his dizziness eased. He’d swayed alarmingly after healing my bruises so I’d made him sit down, which was just as well because healing the trail of blackberry scratches along my thigh nearly toppled him. I wasn’t certain that was just from the vertigo. It was starting to drizzle again and the grass was wet but I had no desire to go back inside. I needed to stay there, holding him, for as long as he would let me. I wanted to kiss him too, but I remembered what Noah had told me.