Silvertongue

by Sidney Wood

  About twenty minutes later, Luke’s mom and her boyfriend showed up.

  “Perfect.”

  Noah gritted his teeth and answered her questions the best he could, but when she started in with accusations, he walked outside for some air. On the sidewalk, he played the evening out, over and over, getting angrier with each passing minute. “How did I not see this coming? Why didn’t I check on him sooner? Is it really a big deal that we eat together?”

  Noah needed someone to talk to, but he couldn’t face his parents. They meant well, but to say they were judgmental was too kind. Rather than help, they would pick every action apart as if anyone else could have found a better way to handle it. They were not an option. Not now. Instead, he dialed his brother.

  A veteran, like Noah, his brother would be there for the right reasons; no doubt. Rob didn’t pick up. When it transferred to voice mail, Noah ended the call.

  The automatic door slid open and Noah turned to see his ex-wife’s boyfriend walking out to join him. Noah steeled himself, unsure if he could keep from hitting the asshole if he spouted off.

  “Hey, Noah?” he said. “I just wanted to say I’m really sorry. She’s uh…just scared, you know? I don’t think she means it. Look, I can’t even imagine what’s going through your head, but I know you’re a great dad and Luke loves you. He’s going to be okay man, and uh…you didn’t do anything wrong.”

  The wind went right out of Noah’s sails and he nearly lost it; tears threatened to come bursting out. A frown and a nod were the best he could manage.

  The boyfriend pointed toward the door with his chin. “Why don’t you go back in and be with your son. I’ll hang out in the lobby and let you guys be.”

  Noah nodded again, trying not to tear up or give the guy a hug. He returned to the room where nurses were drawing blood and checking Luke’s vitals. His ex-wife sobbed. Seeing their little boy unconscious and hooked up to machines pushed Noah over the edge. Tears boiled down his cheeks and he walked over to his ex-wife, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. “I’m sorry,” he cried. “I’m so sorry.”

  Chapter Thirteen (Mid-October)

  Chuck wanted sex.

  He left for the gym half an hour ago, and Miranda had a birthday sleepover at a friend’s house. For the longest time, Ulie dreaded gym nights and Chuck’s animalistic needs after, but tonight would be different.

  Ulie lay in a warm, soapy bath shaving her legs. When her husband came home looking for a routine quickie, things were going to turn around. He wouldn’t simply take charge and leave her unsatisfied; not this time. Ulie intended to rock his world.

  Her lips turned up in a knowing smile as warm water lapped at her thighs. She had rocked Noah’s world…repeatedly. Truth be told, her world had been rocked even harder, and she hungered for him more than she cared to admit. The two of them had synced perfectly, as if they were made for each other. Her body tingled as she recalled the feeling of his skin against hers. Oh, how she craved that sensation. She left Noah’s bed with all her desires fulfilled.

  Ulie planned to do that for Chuck if he gave her a chance.

  Since her trip to Alaska, Chuck hadn’t even mentioned sex. When he mentioned the gym that afternoon, Ulie surprised herself by not blanching.

  “I’ll be gone for about two hours. I’ll see you after?”

  Ulie took it in stride, eager to try some of what she had learned. “Of course,” she said. “I’m looking forward to it.” For the first time in years, she had confidence in her abilities. Chuck’s behavior had worn her down, and at times she believed their problems in the bedroom must be her fault. She began to think she wasn’t any good at sex. During her tryst with Noah, she discovered things about herself and about making love that could make things better with Chuck…maybe.

  Ulie winced. Thoughts of Noah pricked her with guilt for what she intended to do; cheat on her lover with the man she married.

  It seemed wrong, guilt for performing a traditional duty of marriage. Had she completely fallen off the rails and twisted things around? Ulie paused, taking stock of her feelings. “Do I love Noah, or am I a fool, placing fantasy and lust above my vows to Chuck?” Ulie shook her head. “One afternoon of lovemaking can’t be worth tanking my whole marriage.” She lingered on memories of that magnificent day. “An afternoon…is that all?” It felt like they made love for days. “Could it really only have been one afternoon?”

  Ulie closed her eyes, reminiscing about their time together. Every kiss, every touch, every second her body had been pressed against his…pure bliss and magic. If she could recreate that with Chuck, even a little bit, maybe she could save their marriage. She found it strange to think that infidelity could heal their marriage instead of ruining it.

  Even if she couldn’t perform that miracle, perhaps rekindling something with Chuck could save her from needing Noah with every cell in her body.

  Ulie doubted it.

  Part of her didn’t want to try. “Why should I save it?” A person should be allowed to say enough is enough. For some people, quitting is never an option. Ulie wished she could remember thinking that way. “Is that the answer then? A married woman is never allowed to quit?” Ulie resumed her preparations. The water, Ulie’s oldest lover and friend, soothed her and calmed her spirit.

  When her legs were as smooth as silk, Ulie finished her bath. She stepped out of the tub, gently patting her skin dry with a soft cotton towel before applying lavender scented lotion. She selected Chuck’s favorite perfume, blotting it sparingly to her neck and wrists then browsed her closet for something to wear. She settled on a new set of black lingerie that she purchased after returning from her trip. “Noah would love this,” she mused as she slipped the lacy black panties over her curvy bottom. In front of the mirror, she donned the matching bra, smiling as she recalled the way Noah’s fingers had expertly removed the bra she wore to his house.

  Aroused, Ulie let memories of Noah ignite her inner fire. She needed Noah’s smell, his skin, and his kisses to get past the resentment she bore against Chuck and his sweaty, unloving ways.

  Ulie checked the clock. He’d be home soon. Walking to the bed half-naked, Ulie climbed on top of the covers and waited for her husband. She rubbed herself, coaxing her body to an excited state when she heard Chuck’s car door slam shut. By the time he reached the bedroom, Ulie’s nipples pushed out firmly against the cups of her lacy bra and her flower was dewy and ready for Chuck’s attention.

  ****

  Ulie sobbed on the couch, hugging her knees while Chuck snored in the bedroom upstairs. Physical pain accompanied each shoulder bouncing sob, yet she couldn’t stop, couldn’t overcome her grief. “What is wrong with me, that he thinks it is okay to act that way?”

  Ulie recalled the cold dodge of her first attempt to kiss Chuck. He frowned and turned his head in refusal. Silently, he grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face away. With hands he hadn’t yet washed, he rubbed her butt cheek and slid a finger under her panties. She gagged, remembering his words as he slid his finger up her crack.

  “Oh yeah, baby. I like that ass.”

  His cold, sweaty legs pressed against her thighs as his erect penis bulged through his damp shorts against her bottom. Chuck yanked her panties aside to gain access.

  Ulie tried to turn back toward him, to slow things down. She moved to kiss him again and offered to take him in her mouth, but Chuck ignored every word. He took her by the hips and forced her to face away. He wanted her from behind. He focused on it, laser sharp, with no room for deviation. He didn’t even take off her bra. She dry-heaved when he spit on his hand then used it to lubricate his cock before pulling her panties aside again and jamming into her. He had never done that before.

  “Where’s this coming from?” She tried to reason, but speaking had been pointless. He ignored her as if she only existed from the waist down. Ulie fumed, shaking with unbridled hatred. Her eyes burned as he pounded away at her.

  The hatred turned to fear and whit
e-hot pain as Chuck spit again, directly on her rear and penetrated her anally. She cried out at first, but then tried to accept it. Ulie hoped that if she endured it, even for a little while, she could still guide things to a better ending. She fought to hold on, gripping the bedding in white-knuckled fists.

  Ulie whimpered. “Stop. Please, stop.”

  The mousey words were lost beneath Chucks grunting and heavy breathing. She tried pulling away, but where could she go? He had her pinned against the bed. Ulie let herself drop, hoping to fall to her knees, but Chuck held her firmly by the waist and kept thrusting until he finished.

  Collapsing on top of her, he pulled out and hotly kissed the back of her neck. “Thank you. You were great,” he hissed in her ear as his sticky semen oozed out of her. Chuck left Ulie trembling and hurting and went to take his post-sex shower.

  Ulie thought of Noah, wishing she could call him and let it all out. A good man like Noah would be generous and help her through anything, but she couldn’t burden him with her troubles. It would just add to his worries. Noah had confided in her about his vindictive ex-wife and the trouble he had with Luke. It made Ulie love him even more. He tried so hard to be a good dad in the face of terrible adversity. She wished she could take that heartache away from him. She couldn’t unload on him. Not yet.

  Dragging herself back upstairs, sore and full of anguish, Ulie took a shower and went to bed in Miranda’s room. Sleep didn’t find her until just before dawn.

  “Want some coffee?” Chuck asked from her bedside.

  Ulie flinched, eyes popping open. “What?”

  “Coffee, do you want some?” He sat down next to her.

  Anger from the night before set Ulie on edge and she nearly shouted at him to get out. Instead, she shook her head no and stayed tucked safely beneath the covers.

  “Suit yourself.” Chuck stood and walked out.

  Ulie’s emotions ran the gamut from fury to sorrowfulness. “I fucking hate you,” she whispered, wetting her pillow and hair with hot tears.

  When Chuck left for work, Ulie went downstairs to the couch. She dialed her mom’s number.

  “Hi sweetheart,” her mother answered. “It’s early, is everything alright?”

  “Hi Mom.” Ulie tried to hold on, but immediately broke down, sobbing. Her mother listened as Ulie vented and wept.

  “I don’t know what to do, Mom. I’m so unhappy.” Ulie held a box of tissue in her lap. She took another piece and blew her nose, wadding the tissue and tossing it onto a growing pile next to her.

  “Ulie, you’re a strong and capable woman. If that son of a bitch can’t pull his head out of his ass, you don’t need him. I’m sorry this is happening sweetie, but you and Miranda are always welcome here- always.”

  Ulie teared up again. She had expected her mom to tell her to hang in there and to keep trying to work things out. “Thank you, Mom,” she cried.

  By the time Miranda returned home, Ulie’s spirits had lifted. She did some searching online and had the number of a reputable family law attorney. Soon, she’d ask them to walk her through the basic steps of filing for a divorce. She wasn’t ready to tell Miranda anything, and she had no idea what she’d do for a job, but she had to start planning.

  “Hi, baby girl. Welcome home!” Ulie said from the doorway. She gave Miranda a long hug. “I missed you.”

  Miranda paused, giving her a concerned look. “Are you okay mom? Geez, I spent one night away.”

  Ulie forced a laugh. “I know. I’m just a little sad. You’re growing up too fast.”

  “Okay, well, I’m hungry,” Miranda dropped her backpack and b-lined it to the fridge.

  “Go toss your dirty clothes in the laundry and I’ll whip up something yummy.” Ulie watched Miranda skip out of the room and typed a quick message to Noah.

  “I miss your arms around me, Noah. Promise that you will always be there when I need you.” Send.

  The bubbles at the bottom of the screen danced for a long time before Noah’s reply came through. Ulie puttered around the kitchen, checking every few seconds to see if he had finished writing his book.

  “I will always be here for you, Ulie. I miss you too.”

  Ulie ignored the brevity of his reply and breathed easy. He cared. That’s all she needed.

  “I need you now,” Ulie whispered.

  “Who do you need?” Miranda asked.

  Ulie jumped, not realizing her daughter had returned. “Um…Nutella!” she lied. “I need some Nutella, like right now!”

  Miranda laughed and grabbed two spoons from the silverware drawer. “Me too!”

  Chapter Fourteen (November)

  Choosing the right time to tell your mate that you’re leaving is an impossible task. Ulie and Amy tried to hash out a plan, but nothing fit. Eventually, Ulie told Amy she needed more time, and they put it to rest.

  “There’s no such thing as the right time, but there’s definitely a wrong time,” Ulie decided. She hugged Miranda as they watched a Hallmark movie on the couch.

  Chuck snored loudly from his recliner. Hallmark movies were never his thing, so his early departure to dream land didn’t surprise her.

  Ulie tried to tune out the noise. Lately, everything Chuck did irritated her, and she couldn’t stand being near him. She found it difficult before he hurt her; now unbearable.

  That night, as she tucked Miranda into bed, Ulie wondered if her daughter had matured enough to understand and cope with something as complex as divorce. “I doubt it,” she thought. Adults were terrible at navigating life changes, so how could she expect a child, even a smart girl like Miranda, to fare better.

  “Goodnight Miranda.” She kissed the top of her daughter’s forehead and inhaled her sweet fragrance. “Sweet dreams.” Miranda slept soundly as Ulie quietly closed the door.

  Chuck lay silently under the covers when Ulie walked into their bedroom. He quickly locked his phone, looking a bit startled. Ulie ignored it. She could care less if he watched porn or texted someone else. She had no desire to invest any more time or energy into a partner who treated her poorly. Ulie went straight to the master bathroom and shut the door.

  Ulie took her time getting ready for bed. She combed then brushed her hair, washed her face with three kinds of soap, brushed her teeth and flossed, and plucked her eyebrows in the mirror. Eventually, fatigue got the better of her and Ulie opened the bathroom door. She listened quietly for Chuck’s snoring.

  Nothing. Ulie frowned.

  Shutting off the bathroom light, she climbed into the spacious bed, burrowing under the blankets and sinking down until the bedding covered her head to toe. “Goodnight,” she said out of habit.

  “Night,” Chuck replied from the far edge of the bed.

  They each hugged their edge of the mattress, leaving a wide gulf between them. It used to bother Ulie; now she welcomed it. She wished she could build a wall down the center. She didn’t want to see him, talk to him, or be touched by him. “I’m so lonely in this bed,” she thought.

  Ulie ached to clear her conscience, but she couldn’t make herself say any words. “Come on, it’s like ripping off a Band-Aid. It hurts at first, but then it gets better.” It wasn’t that she cared about Chuck’s feelings; she didn’t, not anymore. Ulie feared his reaction. She worried that he might become violent. “But he wouldn’t, would he? I mean, he hasn’t hit me yet.” Ulie shuddered as she recalled him grunting behind her as she laid bent her over their bed. Chuck was a horrible, selfish person, but she doubted he’d hit her.

  “Chuck?” she tested.

  “Hmm?” he replied, obviously groggy.

  “Are you awake?” After a long pause, she heard Chuck sigh.

  “Kind of. What’s up?”

  Ulie could tell that he had turned his head to look in her direction as he spoke.

  “I…,” Ulie couldn’t make the words come out. She tried, but they bunched in her throat, choking her. “Just say it!” screamed a voice in her head, but she couldn’t speak, no matter
how important the words.

  “Spit it out,” Chuck growled.

  His callous tone gave Ulie the tiny push she needed. Screwing up her courage, Ulie blurted, “I don’t love you Chuck. I want a divorce.”

  Her pulse beat loudly in her ears as she waited for him to blow up or ask why. An eternity passed in silence. At last, Ulie turned to face him, but he had rolled back over to face the other direction.

  “Chuck?”

  “Leave me alone,” he growled in a lowered voice. “In fact, get out of my fucking house.”

  Ulie could hear the tension in his voice. She considered reaching out and touching his shoulder but changed her mind. “Are you sure?” she asked. An icy chill crawled down her back. She hadn’t expected to be thrown out; to leave in the middle of the night.

  Chuck turned and Ulie could see the veins in his forehead bulging. She saw unbridled hatred in his eyes. Through clenched teeth he hissed, “I said, get out of my FUCKING house!”

  Trembling, Ulie nodded. “Okay. I’m leaving.” She slipped out of bed and retrieved a suitcase from the closet. As she packed for a short stay at a hotel, Ulie fell apart. Her fingers turned wooden and she fumbled her clothing items as she tried to fold them. She gave up and stuffed them in the suitcase. Once her overnight necessities were zipped inside, she approached Chuck. “What about Miranda?”

  “What about her? You don’t have a job or a place to stay! You want out so bad? Go!” He pointed to the door. “Miranda is staying here!” Chuck started to shout.

  “I don’t have to go tonight, Chuck. We can talk about this.” Her voice faltered.

  “Get the fuck out!” Chuck hissed, sitting up. He looked ready to jump over the bed and physically throw her out.

  Ulie fled, crying as she dragged her suitcase down the stairs. Her heart broke at the thought of leaving Miranda behind, but she had no choice. If she didn’t leave willingly, Chuck would force her out, and Miranda would probably wake up to witness it.

  As she passed through the kitchen and into the garage, an unexpected feeling of relief crept in. Still crying, panicked and afraid, an incongruous hum of excitement resonated in her body. She was finally leaving him.