Rain Must Fall

by Deb Rotuno

  Freddie pointed to the poem on the opposite page. “Be still, sad heart,” he read, nodding a little. “Behind the clouds is the sun still shining…”

  Smiling, I kissed his cheek. “Do you have any idea how many times your dad has said that to me?”

  He grinned, swiping at his face. “Lots?”

  “Tons.”

  He reached down and pulled the dog tags from the page, tossing away the tape that held it. Straightening the chain, he lifted it over my head.

  “He’d want us to keep fighting,” he said wisely. “He’d tell us it won’t always be so bad.”

  Staring at my beautiful, smart son, I nodded. “You’re right, he would.”

  “And he promised.”

  “He did, baby, but…”

  “I’m not dumb, Mom. I know what could happen. I just think he’d be mad if we gave up.”

  Grinning, I broke into a chuckle. “A little bit, yeah.” We stared at each other for a moment, and I sighed, running my hands through his hair. “So…we hang on?”

  He nodded, folding that picture of us and tucking it into the pocket of his jeans.

  “You know those hugs you promised?”

  He nodded, falling back into my arms, and I wrapped him up tight but curled up on my side in the bed. I closed my eyes, taking a minute to simply hold my son. The fact that he’d quoted Jack’s poem to me brought memories flying to the surface of my mind.

  God, I just missed my husband. I missed the silly things he’d say and do just to hear Freddie and me laugh. I missed pancakes on Sunday mornings, messy bathrooms, and cartoon marathons on the couch. I missed being able to let out everything that was stressing me out, only to have him smile at me, lift me in a hug, and kiss me until I forgot what had originally upset me. And as much as everyone was doing their damnedest to keep us safe, it came nowhere near how Jack made me feel.

  Freddie’s fingers twirled a lock of my hair from my ponytail, and slowly, reality blurred away.

  Sandy, Oregon

  8.5 Years Prior

  “Let me see you,” Jack whispered, pulling me into the bedroom of the cabin. He sat on the edge of the bed, situating me to stand between his legs. “I just wanna look at you, Shortcake.”

  “You’ve looked enough already,” I teased him, squealing when his long fingers dug into my sides, tickling without mercy. “Jack! Stop!” I begged in a fit of giggles, trying to get away, but he merely tossed me on the bed and pinned me with his body.

  His smile was glorious and a sight for sore eyes. He’d barely been home long enough to drive to my house, much less come straight to the cabin. Our long-awaited honeymoon was officially here, not to mention he was home safe from his last tour and I’d just finished my last class.

  My breathing was heavy, but his gaze made my heart race faster. It raked all over my face, as if he was memorizing it. Finally, he looked to my left hand.

  “You got it sized okay?” he asked softly, kissing the ring from the palm side.

  “Yeah, like a week after you left,” I said with a nod, looking at his ring next to it as he threaded our fingers together.

  The rings matched and had been bought the day of our quick wedding. They weren’t fancy, nor were they all that expensive in the great big scheme of things, but they meant everything to us. We’d picked them out together, though Jack had promised me diamonds later. I didn’t care. Just having something that said we belonged to each other meant the world to me. The simple bands matched his emotional and spur-of-the-moment proposal and the quick courthouse wedding with just our family in attendance. I loved it all, everything about it.

  “What’s making you smile so pretty, Sara?” he asked me in a sing-song voice as he bent to my neck to press kisses to my skin. It was soft and sexy and soothing all at once.

  “You’re home safe. I’m done with college. We can…truly start…just us.”

  He grinned and nodded at my throat, not even bothering to pull away. With every kiss, he spoke softly against flesh, making me want him with each push of breath along my neck. “Be still, sad heart,” he quoted, lips dragging and tongue tasting. “Behind the clouds is the sun still shining.” Pushing himself up a little, he gazed down at me. “I told you, Shortcake, the bad times, the hard times don’t last forever. They may seem like it, but the rain stops eventually.”

  I cupped his handsome face. “I love you.”

  His smile said it back without the words. “I want everything with you, Sara,” he said instead. “All of it. The house, the kids…the dog.”

  Laughing, I nodded. He’d said it before, in letters while he was gone and on the rare phone calls he’d been able to make while in Iraq. Now that we were married, he had no shame in stating it over and over.

  “Me too. Dog?”

  He chuckled sexily, kissing my lips, the tip of my nose, and forehead. “Maybe. Just…keep an open mind, Shortcake.” He kissed my lips again. “I’ve put in for a more permanent position at the base, baby, so if you want that house you told me about—the one in your dad’s neighborhood—then we’ll talk about it, okay?”

  “No more overseas?” I asked him, my mouth hanging open.

  “I can’t promise that, but the likelihood is slimmer now, Sara. You know there’s always a possibility, but since we’ve gone over twice…” He shrugged, grimacing I was guessing because he couldn’t promise me something.

  “I’ll take what I can get.”

  He laughed, his head falling to my chest. “God, I’d give you anything, Sara. I owe Derek my life for stopping for that beer…”

  Giggling, I pressed my head into the pillow behind me. “Maybe we owe Brody for acting like an ass…”

  “Don’t remind me,” he growled low, skimming his nose along my cheek. “I could’ve killed that fucker that night for daring to touch you when you’d said no. Besides, he’d interrupted me asking you out…”

  “Moot point, Jack,” I said haughtily, wiggling my fingers at him before raking them through his hair. “Wife.”

  “Fuck, that sounds so sexy,” he purred, his eyes darkening to almost black. “Which brings us around to the real point…why we’re here…in this bed…for four whole fucking days…”

  “What point?” I teased, biting my lip and laughing lightly, but he chose that moment to grind into me, so my laugh broke off into a long moan. “Oh my God, I’ve missed you.”

  His kiss was searing and almost harsh but filled with love and need. It was claiming and all-consuming, showing me that he’d missed me, too. It seemed we couldn’t get close enough or naked enough to be able to truly feel. But when he finally slipped inside me, I finally felt safe, finally felt at home.

  “Freddie? Sara?” I heard through the foggy curtain of sleep. When I cracked an eye open, it was dark in Freddie’s room, but Derek knelt beside the bed with a lantern. “I brought you guys some dinner,” he said, and Freddie shifted from my arms.

  “Gosh, Freddie,” I said through a wide yawn. “We kinda crashed out, huh?”

  He nodded, rubbing his face, but sat up to face Derek, who was handing him a plate.

  “We were lucky that Carol had covered the fish,” he said softly, grimacing a little.

  “What time is it?” I asked but then gasped. “Oh, I was gonna help with cleanup…”

  “Don’t sweat it,” he said, handing me a plate as well, and he reached out to brush my hair from my face in a gesture that was too familiar, so I pulled away a little. “It’s done. And we um…We buried Carol and Leo in that open spot on the bank.”

  My eyes were already scratchy from crying earlier with Freddie, so the tears simply burned my eyes, but I nodded, poking at the fish with my fork. Derek’s rough hand covered mine, urging me to eat, a calloused thumb rubbing across my knuckles. When I looked to his face, his gaze was locked on to the dog tags Freddie had put on me, which were still around my neck. He quickly pulled away and rubbed his face, but his expression was unreadable when he met my gaze with a smile that didn’t quite reach hi
s eyes.

  “How’s Brody handling it?”

  “The black eye I gave him or Leo?”

  “Yeah, sure…”

  “You gave Brody a black eye?” Freddie gasped through a mouthful of food.

  “Chew!” Derek chuckled but looked to me. “He helped with cleanup and then with the graves, but he’s been holed up in your dad’s cabin ever since.”

  Nodding, I ate without saying much, and I didn’t want to see what was happening with Derek. I loved him as family, like a big brother, but I could see where things could become muddy. We’d grown closer, for sure, but I ignored the new looks, the easy touches, and the overprotectiveness that Derek hadn’t always had. My heart, my mind, my soul was still with Jack—wherever that may be—and I knew that would never change. I didn’t think I’d ever feel like I could see another man the way I felt about Jack, and I hoped Derek wouldn’t push that.

  I finished my food, kissing Freddie’s head. “You better now, buddy?” I asked him, and he nodded.

  Derek watched us closely, taking our plates, but he nudged my son. “I heard what you did, Freddie. Taking out the infected to protect your mom and Janie? Dude, that’s some big-time brave stuff. You okay?”

  Freddie looked to me but smiled back at Derek. “Yeah, I’m okay. I did everything you told me to,” he said proudly.

  Derek grinned. “Thatta boy!” he praised, ruffling his hair.

  We both laughed at Freddie when he ran his fingers through it trying to fix it. He rolled his eyes at us but cracked his knuckles. He was Jack’s clone in that moment, and I loved him with a sickness. I knew Derek saw it too, because he sighed deeply.

  “C’mon, you two,” he said, standing up. “We’re gonna need to sort some stuff out after today’s events.”

  The front door of the cabin slammed open, and Tina rushed to Freddie’s doorway. “Aw, hell, guys…We got headlights coming up the road. We need you out here.”

  “Shit,” Derek hissed, setting the plates down on the nightstand.

  We ran out of the cabin to meet up with Josh, Martin, and Janie at the table and fire. The pit was burning low inside the high wall Derek and Martin had built around it.

  Josh handed me my gun, which was fully loaded, as Derek snatched up his compound bow. We were all on edge as headlights bounced in from the long drive. Brody was still absent, but I didn’t expect him anytime soon.

  “Freddie, I want you and Janie inside Grandpa Rich’s cabin. You wait until I come get you. This is different than a pack, buddy, so don’t argue. Okay?” I asked him, and he didn’t argue, but he did take his rifle with him anyway.

  Once the door closed behind the kids, Derek stood next to me. “We’ll stand our ground, Sara. Just like the ones from the trip up here, we won’t back down or give up what we’ve been able to salvage. Got me?”

  We had about a minute or two before the vehicles would reach the camp, but we jumped when a slam echoed behind us. My eyes narrowed on Brody, who was swaying on the front porch of my dad’s cabin.

  “Jesus, is he drunk?” I asked, my eyes falling to his hand where a half-empty bottle of liquor sloshed. “Where the hell…”

  “Fuck me to tears,” Derek hissed under his breath. “You know, the bastard could’ve shared.”

  Snorting, I smacked at him, but I knew what drunk Brody could be like. If he was an asshole stone-cold sober, he was even worse when he’d been drinking.

  “Oh, look!” Brody sang with a laugh. “We’ve got company!”

  “I’ve got him,” Martin stated, keeping his shotgun draped across his shoulder as he walked to Brody.

  “Can’t we just…shoot him?” Tina muttered.

  “Tempting, but no,” I sighed, shaking my head and facing the road again. “Hopefully Martin can stuff him in a closet until this is over.”

  Two pickup trucks and two large RVs pulled into the lake’s clearing. Tina, Josh, Derek, and I all stood with weapons at the ready. I could still hear Martin trying to persuade Brody to go inside or give up the bottle, but I was pretty sure neither would be happening.

  The door to the pickup opened and slammed, but I couldn’t see beyond the bright headlights, just the silhouette of a tall form.

  Derek engaged the shotgun in his hand. “Hold it right there, asshole. That’s far enough. What’choo want?”

  The legs stopped in midstride, but I heard footsteps behind me, and suddenly Brody had me spun around, his grip hard on my arm.

  “Brody, you need to let go,” I hissed at him. “If you can’t tell, we’ve got a bit of a situation here.”

  “I gotta know, Sara…Did you? Did you let them at my dad on purpose?” he yelled. He got right in my face and screamed, “Did you let them kill my dad?” He was whiskey and anger and grief.

  “Brody, let go of me,” I growled, finally bringing my knee to his groin, hard and fast.

  He doubled over, groaning and cursing me, but when he looked back at me, there was nothing but pure hate. The bottle in his hand smashed against the trunk of the tree next to him, but before anyone could react, he was pressed against the same tree, his neck in a firm grip.

  “Brody Matthews, I won’t shoot you, but I can damn well tie you up to this tree to rot. Am I clear, son?”

  My mouth fell open at the familiar voice and even the familiar threat. “D-Daddy?” I barely breathed aloud. “Dad?”

  He turned to face me, and he looked exhausted and like he’d aged ten years, but he was the first true glimmer of hope I’d had in what seemed like forever.

  “Jesus, Hank,” Derek gasped.

  “Yeah, sorry it took so long,” Dad said, dropping Brody to the ground, where he stayed in a heap.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I sobbed, finally letting my guard down.

  “Aw, baby girl, I’m sorry,” he said, and I found myself in the best of hugs. “Baby, where’s…where’s Freddie?”

  “He’s okay, he’s okay,” I chanted, nodding to Tina that it was okay to let the kids out of Rich’s cabin.

  My dad gazed around, signaling to someone behind me, but focused back on me. “Any…Um, Jack?” he asked, but I shook my head no.

  “Not yet.”

  “Okay,” he sighed, rubbing his face. “What’s that fool babbling about?”

  “We were attacked today. Huge pack came through. We lost Leo and Carol North while Brody and Martin were off—at Brody’s insistence—getting food from the traps.”

  “Aw, hell,” he groaned, pulling me into a hug again. “I’m sorry, Sare. I tried to come sooner, but things got out of hand back at home. A pack came through, and somehow they got inside the nursing home. There was that and finding fuel to get here. I brought who was left.”

  He kissed the top of my head but turned me around. There were faces I recognized, but some I didn’t. All of them looked road-weary. If I had to guess, I would’ve said there were ten or twelve.

  “We emptied Sandy of supplies and made our way here. Took about a week, but…Those with the RVs will stay in those. Some will have to bunk up until we can figure out other arrangements, but…I couldn’t leave them, Sara.”

  “No, no,” I said, shaking my head. “Of course not. The more, the safer…I mean, we were struggling as it was.”

  Dad nodded but looked down when Freddie sneaked up on us.

  “Oh God, Freddie!” He scooped my son up into his arms, and my tears started all over again.

  “Grandpa Hank…Have I got lots to tell you!”

  If anything could break the emotional moment, it was that.

  “Buddy, let me get these people safe and settled, and then I’m all yours,” Dad promised, and I could tell his smile was wavering. There were emotions there that he’d never allow to surface, but I’d have been willing to bet he hadn’t known exactly what he’d find once he’d arrived at Clear Lake.

  “Good, then you can stay with us!” Freddie commanded, and I actually agreed with him, nodding up at my dad.

  “Please,” was all I added.

&
nbsp; He kissed my forehead. “You got it, kiddos.”

  Chapter 8

  SARA

  Clear Lake, Oregon

  3 Months & 3 Weeks after

  Hurricane Beatrice

  DREAMS WERE BLURRY SWIRLS, then vivid colors and faces. My heart ached yet carried hope. I shifted, trying to grasp hold of reality and reaching for Freddie at the same time, only to come up empty.

  Sighing, I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. It didn’t take long to get dressed, considering I rarely undressed completely at night. It helped when emergencies popped up in the middle of the night. And my gun was never farther than arm’s reach.

  Stepping out onto the cabin’s porch was surreal. There were new faces and now two large RVs parked along the side of the lake. I knew I needed to meet everyone, since the night before had been chaos. Between the pack of zombies that had come through, the loss of Leo and Carol, Brody’s drunken behavior, and my dad’s arrival, everyone was just about to collapse under the weight of it all.

  As promised, though, Dad had told the people who’d come with him to settle in, keep watch, and that all introductions would be made the next morning. He’d then sat with Freddie for what seemed like hours, giving us both his undivided attention. Only when Freddie was yawning every other word did Dad finally urge us to bed, opting for the sofa in my cabin for himself.

  Glancing down at the wildflowers by the porch, I sighed and picked two small bouquets. Before I joined anyone for breakfast or started anything for the day, I needed to pay my respects.

  I found two makeshift crosses up on the hill overlooking the lake. Derek had picked a good spot to put them, with plenty of shade and sun throughout the day, pretty flowers on either side, and a stunning view of the entire camp. Kneeling between the two mounds of newly turned soil, I set the bouquets up against the crosses.

  “You shouldn’t wander off alone,” I heard behind me, which made me smile, reach behind my back to my waistband, and set my gun beside me on the ground.