Return of the Dwarf King

by Charley Case

  “I know you don’t believe in fate,” Finn held his hand up to forestall her, “but you have to admit that fate or luck or whatever you want to call it has played a huge part in us getting here. We picked up the radio and TV signals that no one else did, we had just enough in the Anthem’s tanks to get us here, then the first place we get dropped off, there is a woman looking for someone who reads dwarven because her friend is missing? Come on! Something is pushing us together. Besides, it’s not like we have much choice. We need to find a Huldu and get the Anthem back online, and this woman needs to find someone that our scanners would have no problem picking out. Fate.”

  Penny furrowed her eye ridges but nodded in agreement. “Sqee, sqee.”

  Finn smiled. “Okay, I’ll keep my head about me, and you keep an eye out for anyone who’s using magic. There has to be someone on Earth that still knows how to tap into the energies.”

  “This way,” Mila called behind him.

  Finn turned and realized he had walked right past the second door. He smiled and walked back. “Sorry, I was lost in conversation.” He gestured at Penny, who bobbed her head in apology.

  Mila’s eyebrow raised slowly. “She can talk back?”

  “Of course. Penny is one of the smartest people I know.” He held up his fist, and Penny bumped it with her tiny one.

  Mila just shook her head and walked through the door. “This is crazy.”

  Finn followed her in and stopped when the lights came on automatically. The room was two stories tall, and large enough that an elephant could walk around without hitting a wall. There was a long table in the center covered in artifacts that ranged from old, rusted weapons to pottery with vibrant paintings encircling them. At least twenty artifacts were in various stages of being cleaned and documented on a second table, and the walls held shelves upon shelves of objects of all descriptions.

  Mila walked to a desk that was immaculately clean and organized. She opened a drawer and pulled out an envelope and a pad of paper, then plucked a pen from a mug full of writing utensils. She brought them to a clear spot at the center table and set them down.

  “Okay, that’s the original letter. If you can translate it for me, I’ll answer any questions you have.” She pulled a tall stool over for Finn, then went to the corner and started filling a coffee urn with water. “You want some coffee? I need to wake up. I have a feeling I’m not going to sleep much tonight.”

  Finn had no idea what coffee was, but he agreed to a cup and sat at the table to get started on the translation for her.

  By the time the room was filled with an earthy aroma that made Finn’s mouth water, he had the translated note written out for Mila.

  “That smells amazing. What is it?” Finn asked, taking the cup she offered him.

  Mila’s brow furrowed. “It’s coffee. Don’t tell me you’ve never had coffee. What are you, Mormon or something?”

  Finn took a gulp to avoid having to answer.

  “Whoa! Calm down there, you’re going to burn yourself!” Mila shrieked, making Finn jerk and take a bigger gulp than he had intended.

  The liquid was hot, but being a dwarf, he was able to handle more intense temperatures than Peabrains. He swallowed the mouthful and marveled at the bitter taste. It was one of the best things he had ever drunk. He quickly gulped the rest down as Mila stared at him in shocked horror.

  Finn smacked his lips and held out the mug. “That is delightful! Is there any more?”

  Mila, whose mouth was still open in shock, took the mug. “How the fuck did you do that? That was nearly boiling when I poured it.”

  “I’m a dwarf. I told you that.” Finn shrugged. “We have much hardier bodies than your kind.”

  Mila turned woodenly and returned to the counter to refill his mug.

  “This is insane,” she said, staring at the steaming mug. “I’ll admit, the dragon was pretty convincing, but I could explain that away by thinking she was just some rare species of lizard I’ve never heard of before.” She turned back to hand him the second cup of coffee. “But I have never seen or heard of anyone who can drink near-boiling liquid like it’s room temperature. That’s what did it. Just so you know. The coffee. I believe you. You’re a dwarf. Like a ‘and my axe!’ sort of dwarf. Congratulations. You broke me.” She held up her mug so he could clink it.

  Finn frowned but clinked mugs with her. “I’m sorry I broke you. What do you mean?”

  “I believe you. I don’t know if it’s the long day and lack of sleep, but for whatever reason, I believe you are a dwarf king. Or prince, or whatever.”

  Finn was amazed to see the calm that had come over the small woman. It was as if she had changed her whole outlook on the world in one go. Even Penny was a little wide-eyed at the change.

  “Um, okay.” Finn took a gulp of coffee and set the mug down on the table. “Is there anything I can do to make this a little easier for you?”

  Penny slipped off his shoulder and stuck her head in the mug to get a taste. She pulled her head back after a gulp of her own and made a sour face. “Sre-blech.”

  Mila raised an eyebrow at the reaction, and Finn translated. “She doesn’t like it. It’s too bitter. She prefers sweet or salty, but stays away from the bitter stuff.”

  Mila thought for a second, then went to a small fridge under the counter and squatted as she opened it. She returned with a thin, tall yellow box and opened the top. She shook out several miniature chocolate bars about three-quarters of an inch long and a quarter-inch thick.

  “Give these a try. I had a student assistant this summer who loved them.” Mila offered the box to Finn.

  He took it and read the label. Charleston Chew Minis. He shook a few into his hand and popped them into his mouth. They were cold from being in the freezer, so when he bit down, they shattered into a million pieces and quickly melted in his mouth.

  Finn’s eyes widened as the sweet nougat and chocolaty goodness overtook his taste buds. “These are amazing!”

  Penny was making similar sounds, dancing in a circle, and throwing another mini in her mouth.

  “Well, you guys can have them. I don’t really like candy,” Mila said, pulling up another stool and sitting beside Finn. “Now, what does this note say?”

  She picked up the translation and started reading as Finn had the brilliant idea to drop a few of the chews into his coffee, then take a sip.

  “Oh, now that’s amazing.” He mumbled before taking a large gulp.

  Chapter Seven

  Mila,

  If you are reading this, I have been taken. I hate to have to put this on you, but if you are able to find someone to translate this note, you are one step closer than anyone else would be able to get. I have seen the magic in you, although you don’t know it’s there. I have full faith that you will work tirelessly until you can understand these words.

  To the being who is reading this note, there is darkness coming. The Black Star is what they call themselves, and they plan on carving up this world and creating a magical nation. They will build it on a foundation of dead bodies if they must. They have, I believe, mastered dark magic and are able to practice it without being consumed.

  I need not emphasize what this would mean for all of us Magicals, let alone the Peabrains.

  I believe I have been taken due to my ability to find and activate dwarven-made artifacts, a skill I now regret cultivating. The Black Star’s minions have approached me over the last few months and made me offers, but I could not join them in good conscience. I did take their money in exchange for some work, though, which I now fear might have been my death sentence.

  I am certain that the Black Star is somewhere in northern Europe or western Russia. They have located far too many artifacts on their own for them to be looking anywhere else.

  If you are reading this, please forgive my weakness. I needed the money. But with me gone, they will be moving up their plans. Alert the Huldu. They will know what to do.

  I’m sorry.

&n
bsp; Jeffery.

  Mila put the note down and quietly sipped her coffee while she processed.

  Finn wondered what she would ask about first. He was betting on the part where Jeff talked about “us Magicals.”

  She bit her lip and turned to him. “What’s a Peabrain?”

  That made Finn’s eyebrows go up. “That’s what you are. You’re a Peabrain.”

  Her brow furrowed. “I have a feeling that word means something different to you than it does to me.”

  “It’s a reference to your magical brain.” He held his thumb and forefinger so there was a small gap. “It’s very small but potent. You all have one, but for some reason, you can’t seem to access it.”

  “My magical brain?” Mila raised an eyebrow.

  “Yeah.” Finn ate another of the chews, and Penny did the same, smiling with chocolate on her teeth.

  “Magic. You’re telling me magic is real?”

  Finn nodded, and Mila nodded along with him.

  “Okay, big fella. Show me some magic.” She crossed her leg over her knee and turned to face him, wearing a look of expectancy behind her mug of coffee.

  “Oh. Uh, I suppose I can show you something.”

  Finn patted his jacket, looking for something to do a simple spell with. Then he remembered he was wearing his adventuring harness, and reached to the small of his back and pulled out the handle of his axe.

  “Okay, this is dwarven weapon magic. Mila, meet Fragar.”

  Finn held the leather-wrapped handle close to Mila’s face so she wouldn’t miss anything and gave her a smile. Her expression didn’t change; it was still judging him for not having done any magic so far.

  Finn whispered the power word under his breath. In less than a second, the handle grew, and Fragar flipped open, glowing purple and covered in runes.

  Mila squeaked and fell backward off her stool. Finn leapt to his feet and grabbed the front of her jacket to keep her from hitting the ground. Mila’s coffee spilled down the front of her, soaking her t-shirt and jacket, but she hung a few inches from the carpet, undamaged, her eyes wide.

  “Are you okay?” Finn asked, still holding Fragar in his free hand.

  Mila dropped her mug, her arms flailing as she tried to right herself, but unable to find any purchase. She gave him a dirty look. “You could have warned me, motherfucker! Now I have a wet shirt, and I might have peed myself. Pull me up.”

  Finn’s face reddened with embarrassment, and he hauled her up by the jacket until she was seated once again. She tried to wipe the coffee off her front, but it had thoroughly soaked through her gray shirt, making a dark line down the middle where her jacket hadn’t protected it.

  “Sorry. I forget how abrupt the transformation can look. To me, it’s just a tool I can summon. So, that was the first bit of magic you’ve ever seen?”

  Finn sat back down and reached for his coffee, but found Penny piling mini chews into it and stirring it with the pen he had used to translate the note.

  “What the hell?”

  “Chi, chi!” she said, then stuck her snout in and took a drink.

  “Yeah, I know adding the candies made it better, but now you’re just ruining it.”

  Penny frowned, shrugged, and took another long sip.

  Mila hopped off her stool and picked up the empty mug. She took it to the small sink at the counter, then walked to a cabinet beside her desk. She opened it, and Finn saw that it was full of clothes on hangers. She selected a white V-neck tee and a short, red leather jacket. She turned and walked out the door.

  “Uh, where are you going?” Finn asked, not sure if he should follow or not.

  “Just stay there,” she called from the hall. “I’m just getting out of these wet clothes.”

  Finn reached for his coffee again, but Penny blocked him with her body, her eyes a little wild.

  “Okay. I’ll just get my own, I guess.”

  Penny smiled and stuck her head in the mug to get to the now significantly drained contents.

  Finn walked to the counter and found a clean mug in a cupboard that said Anthropologists like it civilized. He set Fragar on the counter and filled the mug with the black brew from the steaming pot.

  “Motherfucker!” Mila shouted from the hall.

  “What’s the matter?” Finn asked, snatching up Fragar and dropping into a fighting stance.

  “My bra is soaked in coffee, and I don’t have a spare one here. Dammit! This is my favorite one. Fuck it, I needed to get more anyway. Should probably get an extra one for the office while I’m out.”

  Finn relaxed and returned to his stool, raising an eyebrow at Penny, who was smiling maniacally beside the now-empty mug and nearly vibrating with energy.

  “What’s wrong with you?”

  “Cheeee! Shir chip shee!” She blew a white-hot flame and several smoke rings from each nostril to punctuate her decree.

  Finn frowned and looked down at the steaming black liquid. “I guess I feel more awake, but I wouldn’t say I feel invincible. Maybe this stuff has some sort of side effect?”

  Mila came back in, her brows rising at the sight of Penny dancing in a circle around her mug as if she were a druid trying to summon the Tree Father.

  “You look nice.” Finn smiled and nodded.

  Mila was now wearing the red jacket zipped up past her chest, hiding all but the bottom of her white shirt that hugged her hips past the short jacket’s hem.

  She blushed slightly. “Thanks. It’s better than a white shirt and no bra.” She went to the sink and began rinsing out her coffee-stained clothing. Finn watched, not sure what the woman was thinking, but glad she hadn’t thrown him out yet.

  He smiled. “Fate,” he said quietly into his coffee before taking another drink of the bitter brew.

  “What’s wrong with Penny?” Mila asked over her shoulder, her eyes a little wide.

  The dragon had moved from dancing to flying in loops around the room. She was picking up speed, and beginning to hum some kind of epic tune that sounded suspiciously like Flight of the Valkyries.

  “I think the coffee is having a strange effect on her.” Finn followed her progress, becoming concerned by his friend’s manic behavior.

  “How much did she drink?” Mila wrung out the shirt and jacket and hung them on the cabinets’ door handles. After a second, she shrugged and hung the nude-colored bra on one as well.

  “The whole cup.” Finn picked it up and saw that she had also scraped out the melted chews in the bottom. “She also had ten or fifteen of the chews.”

  “What?” Mila spun, her eyes wide as she tracked Penny's progress around the room. “She drank the whole thing? No wonder she’s probably buzzed out of her mind. You can’t have that much caffeine and not expect to jump off the walls.”

  Finn looked into his own mug, suddenly suspicious of the delicious drink. “What’s caffeine?”

  Mila covered her eyes with one hand and sighed. “You know what? This night just keeps getting weirder and weirder. I need a drink. How about you?”

  Finn perked up at that. “I could most certainly use a good whiskey. Do you have that here?”

  She furrowed her brow. “Yeah, man. We have whiskey here.” She motioned for him to follow. “Come on. And please put that axe away.”

  Finn smiled and whispered the power word. In an instant, the axe folded back up into a small, leather-covered piece of wood. He slipped Fragar into its holster at the small of his back and downed the coffee in one go.

  “Wait, before we go, do you have a picture of Jeff?”

  She thought about that for a second, then nodded. “Yeah, a picture from our last dig together. It’s hanging in his office.” She motioned for him to follow her and stepped into the hall.

  Finn looked up to see Penny doing a flip. “Come on. We need to get you a drink.”

  “Chip shee,” Penny protested, landing on his shoulder and pouting.

  “I know liquor puts you to sleep. That’s the idea.” He walked out into
the hall and saw Mila waiting at a door a few feet down and on the opposite side of the hall.

  “In here.”

  He followed her into a workspace nearly identical to her own, except that there were no artifacts, and the desk was a mess of paperwork and food wrappers.

  Mila pointed to a picture on the wall. “This was taken last year, at a site in Mexico. A lot of good finds on that trip.”

  Finn leaned in to get a better look, and both he and Penny sucked in a breath.

  “What is it?” Mila asked, her smile fading to a worried look.

  Finn leaned in more just to be sure. There were several nonmagical races in the universe, and for the most part, they kept to themselves. However, some interaction was inevitable, and Magicals found out very quickly that the nonmagical races didn’t exactly welcome them with open arms. Over time, Magicals found spells that could hide their nature from those that couldn’t see past the illusions. The spells were simple and easy for any magic users, even children, but they didn’t work on other Magicals. The concealment spell worked even in photos and video but created a strange double image for any Magical who viewed it, revealing both their true and concealed forms.

  In the photo were Mila and a huge man in the middle of a jungle, with several pits dug up and marked off with twine grids behind them. The man was not fat, but not exactly fit either. It was hard to tell how tall he was, due to them both squatting next to an excavation site, but even in that position, he was a good two heads taller than Mila. His toothy grin made him look somewhat simple, if not jovial.

  Finn and Penny saw something else in addition to the happy man at Mila’s side. There was a sort of image overlaying the physical image of what Jeffery really was. It was close to the truth but translated into human features.

  “He’s a troll,” Finn said, taking the photo frame from the wall and shaking his head.

  “He’s not that bad. I know he has some trouble with the ladies, but he’s actually really nice,” Mila defended her coworker, putting her hand on her hip and daring Finn to say different.

  “No, I mean, he’s an actual troll. He’s using a concealment spell, but I can see his true form under the image.” Finn frowned and held up the photo for her to look at, while Penny nodded in agreement a little faster than she normally would.