by K. Langston
“Fuck no!” His immediate response had me sagging with relief. Cannon stood from the couch. “I’m about to settle this shit right now.”
“Cannon, please. I believe you. I don’t want to stir the pot.”
“She had no right to say that shit to you.”
My heart was racing a mile a minute. The protective look in his eye. The knowledge that he didn’t belong to her left me breathless.
“I’ve gotta meet Holden at a new property he’s lookin’ to buy, and then Alexis Davis and I will have the longest conversation we’ve ever had. She won’t be bothering you again. I can promise you that.”
A real friend is the one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
~Walter Winchell
I’d never had the urge to put my hands on a woman.
Ever.
I was a born protector. It’s the way the good Lord made me. But the way my blood boiled and my hands itched, I was wondering if today would be the day.
After I’d met Holden and did what I needed to do with him, I texted Alexis to make sure she was home so I could set her ass straight.
We did not have a relationship.
We fucked.
That’s it.
Aside from the few times we’d gotten drunk together and she’d poured her heart out to me about her controlling father, which I half ass paid attention to, we didn’t share shit.
Not even a bed.
She knew the deal, so I was more than a little confused as to why she would confront Cora the way she did. Holden had warned me to stay away from her, but I’d dipped my dick into the crazy jar anyway. I should have known better. I should have thought this whole thing through.
But I’d completely underestimated her. I was standing in front of the woman who’d unknowingly helped me keep the bad shit buried, defending the woman who could dig it all back up.
“You stay the fuck away from her,” I warned, my temperature rising as I stared down into her eyes.
Alexis’ version of the story had been a lot different from Cora’s. Then again, I expected it would be. I don’t even know why I was still standing here listening to her bullshit. I’d seen Alexis spit words of hate like it was second nature. I knew how vicious she could be.
“Why are you so angry?” she asked innocently. “It’s not like she’s your girlfriend. We both know you don’t want that.” She brushed her hand across my jeans, taking a step closer while stroking me with the palm of her sure hand. “She can’t give you what I can, baby.” Her other hand moved to my neck, pulling me down closer to her mouth “Eventually, she’ll want more. Commitment, marriage, kids…it’s what they all want. But not me. I just want this. This is all I’ll ever need.”
Her lips covered mine and for a second I lost my head. This felt safe. This was my comfort zone. I didn’t have to be anyone or anything with her and that was a feeling I wanted to hold on to.
She was absolutely right.
Alexis didn’t come with any obligations. No commitments. No promises. Just pleasure. That’s all she needed from me. That’s all I wanted from her. Pussy anytime, and I didn’t have to share my feelings to get it or work to keep it. I didn’t have to share shit but my dick. For a while now, Alexis had been enough.
Then Cora happened.
And enough became inconsequential.
I needed more.
I gripped her arms and gently pushed her back before looking into her eyes. “We’re finished, Alexis.”
Those eyes went from soft blue to cold stone in an instant. “Because of her?” she asked, her voice rising in anger. I could feel the tension beneath my hands, so I let her go and made for the door. “You’ll regret this.”
I didn’t respond.
I’d said everything I came here to say.
We were done.
I’d stopped off at the grocery store on my way back, knowing I didn’t have any food Cora liked stocked up at home and honestly, I was a little freaked out by the revelation I’d just had. What did it mean? What did I want?
I didn’t have a damn clue.
As I was carrying the last of the bags inside, she emerged from the hallway, wrapped in a white towel with wet hair framing her reddened cheeks, sticking to her damp skin. I’d heard the water running when I carried the first load in, and my dick really liked the fact that she was naked in my house. But seeing her like this, my dick fucking loved the fact that she didn’t have anything on but the fluffy white towel and a shy smile.
“Oh hey, you’re back.”
I tried to suppress the desire growing in my jeans, but I only grew harder. “Can I borrow a t-shirt and maybe some jogging pants? Lyssa’s bringin’ my stuff by later.”
I tried to force my feet to let go of the floor, but they refused. And my eyes, they didn’t seem to want to go anywhere either. “Look through my drawers, I’m sure you can find something.”
“Thanks,” she smiled, spinning on her heel.
I stood there like a dumbass until my bedroom door snapped shut. Fuck this was going to be tough. She hadn’t been here 24 hours and I was already dying to fuck her on the floor.
What is your problem asshole? It’s not like she hasn’t spent the night before.
But now things were different, especially after that kiss, especially after my realization earlier.
I exhaled, my shoulders sagging with mild relief as I began putting away the groceries. I continued to fight the urge to bust down my bedroom door and take the one thing I wanted most.
A few minutes later, minutes that did not last long enough for me to regain control of my raging hard-on or racing heart, she was standing in my kitchen.
Wearing my AC/DC tee and…and…
“Please tell me you have something on underneath that.”
There wasn’t any room in my jeans for the word no.
“Of course.”
I thought I would nut on the spot when she lifted the hem of my shirt, which hit about mid-thigh, revealing a pair of white boxer briefs, showing off her tan legs. She filled my shorts in a way I never could and I found myself thinking how bad I wanted to get inside those underwear.
“Bacon!” Cora snatched the package out of my hand as if it were the most treasured prize in the whole wide world and crouched to search for a pan in the cabinet.
“I grabbed a tomato and lettuce too,” I told her.
“I could seriously kiss you right now.”
“What’s stopping you?” We hadn’t really discussed the kiss much. We continued to act like it never happened, and well, I was tired of doing that. I wanted to taste her lips again.
Desperately.
“So what happened with the snake?” she asked, wide eyes staring back into mine.
“She won’t bother you again.”
“And are you two…”
“Finished.”
She blinked once before leaning in and kissing my cheek softly. “Thank you,” she whispered against the patch of flaming skin. An eternal fire in the delicate shape of two perfect lips marred my face.
Jesus Christ.
“For what?” I asked.
“For lettin’ me stay here. For bacon…and…”
“And?”
“And for bein’ such a good friend.”
Her last word was like a punch to the gut. It should’ve been a comfort. It should’ve been a relief. But it wasn’t. It was a huge goddamn elephant prancing around the room, stomping all over my chest, making it impossible to breathe.
I stepped away from her, distancing myself until I could get a handle on the turmoil swirling around in my head. Why was I so upset? That’s what we were…right?
Friends.
Then how come I had this uncontrollable urge to make her mine?
A few hours later, we were chilling on the couch. Cora curled up on one end, while I was sprawled out on the other. Feet propped up on coffee table, beer in hand. We’d both had several, relieving some of the thickening tension between
us.
But it was still alive and kicking.
We settled in to watch the weekly episode of Sons of Anarchy, but I really wasn’t paying attention. I was too wound up. Before, I’d always been comfortable with Cora in my space. Now, it was different having her here.
That kiss changed everything.
The way I looked at her, the way I wanted her. Everything. Part of me wanted to keep the lines drawn. It was safer that way. But the other part wanted to find something to paint over them.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said, getting to my feet.
“But…we’ve been drinkin’ and Sons ain’t even over yet.”
“I have the DVR set, we can watch it later.”
“But you don’t even watch it really. Why would you have the DVR set?”
“Well, ever since you missed it a couple weeks ago and were bitchin’ about it on the way to work…I uh…set it up,” I said, tugging the back of my neck.
She was shocked by my confession. Hell, I was too, but it wasn’t completely uncommon. I did things all the time for her without really thinking about it. Like cook her bacon after our shift in the mornings, buy her candy. Even trivial shit like making sure she got to watch her favorite damn TV show made me sublimely happy.
Fuck if I know why.
“You amaze me,” she muttered, shaking her head.
“How so?”
“The little things you do.”
I knew better than to answer this burning desire between us, sparks that had been there from the beginning, so tempting and bright. But I was blinded by it all when I leaned down, forcing her back to the cushion of the couch.
Pressing my palms on either side of her head, I leaned in close. “Take a ride with me.”
“Where?” she asked.
“Anywhere.”
What was I doing? Playing with fire-that’s what. And there wasn’t a question about it…both of us were going to get burned.
We ended up parked off a dead end road. Cora had downed several more beers while I only sipped on my third. She was tipsy but far from drunk. I’d seen her drunk more than once and it took a hell of a lot more than a six pack of beer to get her there.
She kept asking me if she could shoot my gun. I repeatedly told her no, but she’d started to beg. Alcohol and weapons were never a good combination, but I was a fool for the way her bottom lip poked out in a pout and my poor dick just couldn’t take it anymore. So I pulled off and found a secluded spot to set up a makeshift target which consisted of a few empty beer cans. Once I had my .357 loaded, I asked if she was ready.
“I’ve never shot a gun before.” She informed me with a mischievous smile.
“Never?”
She shook her head.
“So I get to pop your cherry?”
“Oh yeah,” she laughed and I swear if laughs were made of clouds, I would have plopped down on it and floated away.
Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.
~Maya Angelou
My blood tingled, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or the close proximity of Cannon’s body to mine. I’d never felt anything like this before. Of course, in the beginning, Dent gave me butterflies and that feeling of flying that can only be attributed to love, but nothing like this. Absolutely nothing compared to the way Cannon made me feel when he had his arms around me like this, touching me in places his hands could never reach.
Our stance was less than romantic, with my feet planted firmly apart, arms raised, I held the gun tight between the palms of my hands. Cannon’s solid front was pressed to my back and he didn’t even try to be gentlemanly about it. I could feel every ridged part of him, his gentle strength wrapped tightly around me.
After a whole lot of begging, he pulled over and found a secluded spot at the end of a deserted road. Now he was expertly guiding my fingers, properly positioning them to hold the heavy piece of metal without hurting myself, or anyone else. “You sure you’re ok?” he asked against my cheek and I thought for sure I would pass out. I nodded, unable to speak. “Ok, you see this? When you’re ready to pull the trigger, when you’re comfortable, drop the hammer back and squeeze.”
I nodded and attempted to calm my racing heart. I wasn’t sure if firing a gun was what excited me the most, or Cannon and his hard body wrapped around me like some kind of protective shield. My thumb danced across the cool steel before I pulled the hammer back. Cannon’s hands fell to my hips, his firm fingers holding me in place.
Adrenaline spiked to an unfathomable high as I fired my first shot, sending the can flying through the air.
I wasn’t prepared for the powerful recoil. Had Cannon not had a hold of me, I would have surely landed on my ass. “Holy shit!” I breathed.
“Felt good didn’t it?”
I felt the shot everywhere. From the tips of my toes, to the hair follicles on my head, to the nerves between my legs and let’s not forget about the two flaming spots on my hips where his hands were still planted.
Who knew firing a gun could be such a damn turn-on?
“Can I shoot it again?” His face was so close, his lips curling into a smile I wanted to kiss clean off his face. Took every ounce of control I had not to lean into him. He’d said he wanted to kiss me again and Lord knows I wanted to kiss him too, but now I knew those lips not only tasted of freedom, they were also lined with potential heartache.
“One more time,” he said, before taking a step back and thankfully making the decision for me. I didn’t want him to let me go, but I kept that burning need to myself and nodded instead.
I thought less about what Cannon was doing to my body and more about firing off another shot. I focused on my target, lining my sight with the B on the Bud Light can. Once I had a good hold on a solid stance, I squeezed.
Boom!
The can went flying and the ringing in my ears worsened. “Damn, this thing is loud.”
“Yeah, probably not the best gun to use for target practice.”
Once we were both in the truck I asked, “Who taught you how to shoot?”
“My Dad.”
“How old were you?”
“I was five the first time he took me huntin’.”
“Your father handed you a gun at five years old?”
He smiled as if savoring a memory. “Yep. I didn’t kill my first buck ’til I was seven though. Dad still has it mounted on the wall.”
His smile faded at the mention of his father. There were certain things Cannon didn’t talk about and one was his family. I knew he was from Alabama and he had family there, but in the time that I’d known him, anytime we broached the subject, he’d steer it in another direction. I knew very little about who Cannon Jacobs was prior to moving here.
I wanted to change that.
“Do you and your dad get along?”
He exhaled a heavy sigh. I could feel the weight of it filling the cab, suffocating me. Maybe his family was more fucked up than mine?
“Yeah, we get along. Even though he can be a hard ass sometimes.”
I smiled. “Sounds like someone else I know. When is the last time you saw him?”
“Couple years,” he answered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Since you moved here?”
He nodded but didn’t offer more.
“Don’t you miss him?”
“We talk once a week. And I’ll see him when my sister gets married next month.”
“You have a sister?”
It was amazing how much I knew about him, and how much I didn’t.
His smile returned. “And a little brother too.” Gripping the steering wheel tight, he cleared his throat as he pulled into the driveway. “I was wonderin’ if you’d like to go with me to the wedding?”
“Like a date?”
Cannon eyes snapped to mine, a smile ghosting his lips. “Like you’re mine.”
Words were cheap. Honestly, I couldn’t afford them anyway. So I did what any logical person would do, I kissed him.<
br />
I climbed across the console to straddle his lap. His strong, knowing hands held my face in place as he fed from my mouth. I was no longer in control of this kiss. Shit, I wasn’t in control of anything around him.
“Is that a yes?” he whispered, his breath harsh and quick. I nodded, words still lodged between the cracks in my heart where only he could fit. He kissed me again. “Good. Now let’s get back to this kiss, because tonight…all I wanna do is worship these sweet lips.”
* * *
If there was anyone who could help me make sense of all this, it was Maddie. She’d become someone I confided in with most, if not all, the bullshit in my life. Katy had introduced us a few years back and from the first time I met her, I knew right away we would be lifelong friends. Her compassionate heart and take no shit attitude were both qualities I found enduring in any friend, but it was her brutal honesty I would come to need and respect.
Like right now, she was telling me all the things I needed to hear instead of what I wanted to hear. I’d poured my heart out about Cannon, the kiss, and well…everything. She’d already heard about the Alexis bullshit from Katy via Archer of course. And in good Maddie fashion, she reminded me again why Cannon and I needed to slow our roll.
While I sat on the other side of her solid oak desk in her big fancy office, she gave it to me straight. “I think if anyone can bring Cannon Jacobs to his knees, it’s you, but I just wanna make sure you have your eyes open because your heart, it’s blind as fuck right now. And you’re just comin’ out of that shit with Dent.” she leaned forward, her manicured hands clasped in front of her.
“I know.”
“Just take your time. Don’t rush into anything.”
I nodded, grateful to have a friend like her.
“I swear, if I wasn’t a grown ass woman with babies and morals, I would find a dark alley somewhere and connect Alexis Davis with my inner ghetto.”
I laughed out loud.
“She should know better than to start shit at Archer’s. I’m glad he banned her ass for good this time. If she continues to harass you, you better let me know. We’ll slap a restraining order on her ass.”