by Amanda Kay
“Nothing was more important, Corbin.”
“I know. Be that for him; make sure he always knows your heart belongs to him.”
“But it belongs to you still.” I knew what I told Caiden, and I stood by those words, but I wasn’t over Corbin yet either.
“It never belonged to me, Bryson. One day, you’ll see that.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to argue with my dead best friend any longer. I chuckled at the absurdity of it all, but then, something happened that jolted me back to reality.
“Please, no. No! Don’t hurt her. Beat me instead. I can take it.”
Caiden was dreaming. Dreaming about being beaten. Everything, in one instant, became crystal clear to me. “No, tell me it’s not true.”
“I can’t, Bry,” Corbin’s voice whispered.
Tears spilled from my eyes. I knew the long sleeves were for a reason, but I didn’t want to believe it. I had seen some bruises, but I didn’t allow that thought to click. Caiden had virtually screamed at me, tonight, that he had been abused, without saying it outright. No, not sweet Caiden.
“Please, stop. It hurts. Yes, sir.” I needed to wake him up. I didn’t want him suffering. When I got down to the mattress, he was trembling.
I leaned close to his ear, afraid to touch him. He was talking in his asleep about being abused, touching him would probably only set him off more. “Caiden, wake up,” I whispered. “Please, wake up,” I begged a little louder this time.
Pulling back, I watched his eyes flutter open and find mine. “You know, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Yes, you were dreaming and talking in your sleep.”
He looked away from me. “I can’t talk about it, Bryson.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I rubbed his back and his eyes closed.
“That feels nice,” he whispered breathlessly.
I kissed his cheek. “Go back to sleep. I’m right here.” I continued to rub his back; when his breathing evened out, I chanced getting back into bed. I faced him, and slowly, my eyes closed as well.
Chapter 14
CAIDEN
When I woke, I reached for my phone to check the time. What I saw made my blood run cold.
HIM: Where are you, you worthless little shit. Get your ass home. Enjoy what you find, boy.
“Mom,” I whispered, staring at the screen.
“Hmmm?” Bryson muttered. I looked over to him. His eyes were barely open, and he looked dreamy this morning.
“I have to go.” I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to.
I raced for the door. No goodbye. No thank you. I had to get to Mom.
“Caiden,” his voice stopped me. I chanced a final look at him. “I’m here.”
“I know,” I whispered, leaving the room. All I could think about in that moment was getting back to Mom.
When I reached the bottom of the steps, I ran into someone. I looked up and saw another guy. Slightly older. Related to Bryson. What did Bryson call him yesterday when he was called into the house?
“I’m Bennett.”
“Caiden.” I forced a smile and left the house.
My feet propelled me forward as my emotions guided my every move. When I reached her bedroom, I swallowed. What kind of torture did he subject her to? All because I refused to sleep outside like an animal. I opened the door; the scene inside stopped me in my tracks.
“Caiden, look, Mark made me breakfast.”
“Are you okay?” I whispered.
“Of course, I am, my boy.”
I looked over at Mark. The smile on his face told me this was my torture. While he still abused Mom, it was less and less, lately, and any time he did, it was meant to punish me.
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. I wanted to hurl. “Enjoy breakfast, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, Mark, I love you.”
“Love you too,” he said over his shoulder as he walked toward me.
He leaned over and whispered, “I’ll deal with you later, queer.” He pulled back and winked as he exited the bedroom.
I went toward Mom after I made sure he had indeed left. “Mom, he’s not a nice guy,” I spoke, barely above a whisper, my eyes still fixated on the closed door.
“He only wants what’s best for you.”
I shook my head. “No, Mom, he lives to torture me. He tortured you before I stepped in.” Why she couldn’t remember this, I didn’t know.
“Where were you last night?”
“Across the street. There’s a kid my age, he allowed me to crash when Mark locked me out of the house.”
“He?”
“Yes, mom.”
“Does he have a sister?” I shook my head. “Too bad. We need to find you a good girl.”
“No, Mom, we don’t. It wouldn’t be fair to the girl.”
“Why can’t you be normal? That’s all he wants.”
“Mom, do you love me any less?”
She frowned. “Of course not, my sweet boy. I just want to make your life easier.” If that was the truth, she’d give in to what I’ve been asking.
“Then let me take care of you. We don’t need Mark. At eighteen, my trust from Grandpa kicks in. I’d just need a job for a couple of years.”
“No, school is more important.”
I kissed her head, realizing defeat. There was no sense in arguing over it. Nothing was going to change her mind.
“Get down here, boy.”
I looked down the steps and swallowed; his belt was in his hands. If I didn’t face him now, it would just be worse later. Slowly, I walked down the steps, prepared to face his wrath.
BRYSON
Bennett and I were outside doing the yard work when shouting from across the street drew my attention. I looked up in time to see a guy strike Caiden.
“No,” I whispered. I put the rake down and began to march across the street.
Caiden’s eyes locked on mine as another blow was delivered to his back. I couldn’t make out what the guy was saying, but he was shouting at Caiden. I took another step, but in the middle of the road, Bennett caught me.
“What are you doing?” he asked, pulling me back to our yard.
“He’s hurting him.” What did he think I was doing? I was going to stop Caiden from getting hurt.
“But this isn’t the answer.”
“I can’t let him hurt him,” I argued. I wasn’t one to stand by and just watch something like that.
“I get it, Bryson, but what, exactly, are you going to do when you get over there?”
My shoulders fell. “I don’t know.”
“Exactly, bro. You’d storm over there like a white knight and likely get yourself hurt, or Caiden hurt worse.”
I hadn’t thought about it like that. “So, what do I do?”
“Find another way to help. Be there for him, like you were for Corbin.” I looked down. “Stop, dude, you saved Corbin. You’re special. That’s why Corbin latched on to you and why Caiden is now. It’ll work out, you just have to trust yourself. You’re popular because of what’s in here.” He pressed his hand to my heart. “I know the Merce Man thought it was because of your baseball abilities, but it wasn’t. It has never been about that.”
I sighed and nodded, then looked back toward his house. Both Caiden and the other guy were gone. Deep down, I knew Bennett was right, but it didn’t make it hurt any less to know what he was going through.
CAIDEN
I was back in my room. My back was stinging. Bryson was no longer out front when I chanced looking across the street. “He was coming for me.”
“Yes, he was. That’s who Bryson is,” Grandpa said.
“Bennett stopped him.”
“Are you upset by that?”
I thought about my answer and then shook my head. It wouldn’t have helped me, and Bryson might have been hurt in the crossfire.
“You can trust him, Caiden.”
“I wan
t to.”
“Then do it. He’ll be there for you, even if he can’t stop the abuse.”
“I know how to stop the abuse.”
“Right now, your mom is blind. He likes her that way.”
I nodded because Grandpa was right. Mark purposely manipulated my mom by praying on her vulnerabilities. Voices drew my attention.
“Go,” my grandpa’s voice ordered, and I obeyed. Reaching the top step, I froze. Bryson. Bryson was here.
“Hi,” he said, looking my way.
“Hi,” I squeaked.
“This young man has invited you to dinner.” Mark’s voice startled me.
“Can I hang out with him today?” I chanced asking.
He laughed. “Of course. You need friends.”
I swallowed hard; I wasn’t sure what game my stepdad was playing, but I really wanted to hang out with Bryson. “Thank you, sir,” I whispered.
“Be home by ten. You start school tomorrow.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied. He left the room, leaving me alone with Bryson.
“Going to stand up there all day?” I smiled and walked down the steps.
“Hi,” I said when I stood in front of him.
“Hi.” He smiled. I really wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t know where Mark had gone and that would be a risk.
He squeezed my shoulder, bringing my attention back to him, and winked. Bryson understood my hang up and he didn’t push. “Want to shoot some hoops?”
“I’d like that.” He winked my way again and pulled me out of the house. No words. No demands for an explanation of what he had seen. He just quietly rescued me. My white knight.
BRYSON
I didn’t want to push him, so instead, we settled into a quiet basketball game. Caiden took his shot but missed. I caught the ball and dribbled a bit, waiting him out.
“I know you saw,” he mumbled finally. Based on what had happened last night, I already knew he was being hurt, but seeing it with my own eyes was a completely different story.
I tossed him the ball as I spoke. “How long has he been like that?”
“Since he came into our lives.” He tossed the ball back, and I realized I found the way to get him talking. I didn’t want to push, but I wanted him to depend on me.
“I’m sorry.” I dribbled the ball a moment before tossing it back. “How old were you?”
“When he came into our lives, thirteen. Mom didn’t bring him around me when she started seeing him. I met him for the first time at my grandpa’s funeral. He only hit my mom at first, but last year, I stood up to him finally. I didn’t want her to hurt anymore. Now, all his anger is directed at me.”
When the ball was tossed back to me, I took a shot. “I’m sorry, Caiden.” He caught the ball as it passed through the net from my layup and then took it over to the front step. He gently kicked it between his feet. I sat next to him and squeezed his knee to relax him. I wanted him to know I was here, and I wouldn’t judge him. I didn’t know what I could do for him, but I wouldn’t judge.
“I’m trying to convince Mom to let me work until I’m eighteen. That’s when the money my grandpa gave me kicks in, but she says school is more important.”
I didn’t disagree with his mom, but I got where he was coming from as well. “You want to be free of him.” He nodded. “I don’t really know what I can do, but I’m here.”
“Are you, though?”
I hated the doubt. It reminded of what Corbin and I had talked about. How he feared my rejection. I liked Caiden, if I were truly honest with myself, but I couldn’t handle any more doubt.
“Yes, Caiden,” I said forcibly. I needed him to understand.
“I need more than a friend.”
“Well, we haven’t known each other long, but I’d say we are more than friends.” I meant that. When he and I kissed, I could feel everything Corbin had said I would. I wasn’t ready to fully admit that, but I couldn’t deny it either.
“What happens at school tomorrow?”
I leaned over and hugged him to me, kissing his cheek.
“I’m still me when I’m at school. We can be us.” I pulled back and cupped his face in my hands, “But understand, I likely won’t say you’re my boyfriend. Not yet. I can’t. It’ll be the first school day since the game and since everyone won’t remember Corbin being there last week, I’m going to need to find my bearings. I’m not going to shove you away, but I’m not going to claim you either. At least, not in the way you want.”
“But you don’t want someone else right?”
I shook my head. “No, right now, I’m pretty hung up on getting to know you more.”
“Can I kiss you?” I shook my head and he frowned right before I closed the space between us and kissed him.
Chapter 15
CAIDEN
I was anxiously searching for Bryson. I had gone over to his house only to find out he had to go in early for a meeting with the coach.
I must have looked desperate because I heard a voice behind me suddenly. “He’s almost done.”
“Excuse me,” I said, turning around and coming face to face with Bennett.
“He sent me a text that asked me to find you.”
“He did?” I was positive I sounded shocked.
He smiled. “Yeah. Come on, follow me.”
He started walking off and I jogged to catch up. “Where are we going?”
“The coach’s office.”
“But...”
He stopped walking. “Look, Caiden, Bryson is really good at looking after someone. Especially, when he cares, and he does care. He might need some time, and you’ll have to be okay with that, but he cares.”
“But what will the team say?” Bryson didn’t mention it, but I saw some tension the night of the game that vanished when he started playing, and he had said something to me that made me think there might have been an issue.
“Nothing Bry can’t handle, and if they don’t stop, he’s prepared to walk away.” I could hear the seriousness in Bennett’s voice, and I did not doubt he was telling me the truth. I also knew I couldn’t let that happen.
“I wouldn’t let him,” I muttered. Bennett smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder, drawing my gaze to his face.
“Come on, he’s waiting.”
“Ben!” It was a female voice, and instantly, it stopped Bennett.
He looked toward the voice, so I did as well. “Hi, sweets.” She walked to us.
Bennett kissed her, and I looked away until she spoke to me, “I’m Kimber.”
“Caiden.”
She looked toward Bennett for an explanation. “Caiden moved in across the street. He’s Bryson’s age.” She looked back over at me and her eyes lit up.
“Well, you are cute.” She winked, “Perhaps, just the right medicine for our Bryson.” I frowned at the claim she laid on Bryson.
Bennett laughed. “Relax, man, I’ve dated Kimber since my sophomore year. She sees Bry as a little brother.”
I exhaled. “Am I that transparent?”
They both laughed, giving me my answer. Bennett’s phone buzzed. He looked at the text, typed a reply, and looked back at me. “His meeting is over, come on.”
I followed both Bennett and Kimber, gripping the straps of my backpack. My heart rate sped up. I was looking forward to seeing him. After dinner and our talk in the drive playing basketball, I felt lighter, but only when I was around him. He made me feel like I could conquer the world. I walked through the halls and heard the whispers begin. I only hoped I’d be able to block them out and make some friends.
BRYSON
I was sitting across from the coach, prepared for the lecture. “What happened out there Friday night?”
I thought about my answer. Sure, I screwed up that last at bat, but surely, that shouldn’t overshadow what I did accomplish that night. “I was a triple away from the cycle. It got to me.”
“Try again.” His glare pierced me.
“I did all I could. Kel was o
ff his game a little, and we were playing catch up. I did what I could.”
He shook his head. “You got distracted.”
“So what?” I snapped.
“You’re suspended for the next two weeks. I don’t want to see you at drills.”
“For one at bat?” This wasn’t happening.
“There were scouts there, Bryson. College and professional. You blew it.”
“Blew it for who, exactly? I have two more years to show my talent.”
“Maybe.”
“What does that mean?” He stared at me. “You’d kick me off the team?”
“I will do what benefits the team.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t about the game.”
“Bryson, this...I don’t want this, so you need to figure it out.”
I sighed. “I can’t change who I am, Coach.”
“Look at me, Trevino.” I did. “I’m not asking you to. I’m just asking that you consider everything.” I nodded.
“May I be excused?” He just nodded and I grabbed my stuff, unsure of what I’d do without baseball.
When my meeting ended, I left Coach’s office only to find that Bennett still hadn’t brought Caiden. I needed him. As strange as it felt to admit that, I knew it was the truth. I’d rather help him with his problems than worry about mine right now.
“Bryson, you have been able to do both. Find a balance.” I shook my head at Corbin’s words.
BRYSON: Where are you? Meeting is over.
BENNETT: Hold your horses, bro. We’re coming. Kimber stopped me.
I shook my head and pocketed my phone; of course, Kimber stopped him. Right then, they rounded the corner.
“Here you go, bro.”
“Thanks, Bennett.” He only nodded, and he and Kimber disappeared.
I stood unmoving, staring at him. He looked like he was wound tight. I was as well; maybe that was why I noticed it. “Everything okay?”
“It is now,” he sighed, and I felt that way too.
I took a few steps forward until I was right in front of him. I interlocked our fingers. “Did you get your schedule?” He shook his head, his eyes fixating on our hands. “Let’s go then.”
He gulped, standing his ground as I tried to take a step. “Ummm...”
“Caiden,” I said, staring at him, hoping he could feel everything I was. “I said I didn’t want labels; I didn’t say we couldn’t show affection when in school.”