by Amanda Kay
“Fantastic,” I mumbled, and I felt Caiden try to let go of my hand. I shot him a look and frowned, only tightening my grip.
“Bryson,” he sighed.
“I’m not hiding,” I said firmly. I needed him to know that I would pick him over the team. They should want me because I’m good. Whom I chose to be with shouldn’t be a factor.
Walking up to them, I braved myself, since Kenedy was already tearing into Kel. “You’re being an ass.”
I smirked Caiden’s way. “To what do I owe this locker visit to?”
“What the hell happened Friday night?” Kel snapped my way.
I shrugged. “You tell me, Kel.”
“I wasn’t the one who blew their last at bat,” he hissed.
“Knock it off, Kel. Bry was on fire,” Kenedy snapped back.
“From where I was at, he got distracted,” Sam said, drawing my ire.
“My goodness, what the hell did you want from me. I was a triple away from the cycle. I threw out runners at second and third and picked off a runner at first. I screwed up one at bat! Last I checked, baseball was a team sport.”
Kenedy’s hand came to my shoulder and it was weirdly calming. Caiden squeezed my hand, drawing my gaze. He frowned, and I sighed.
“This is Caiden.” I turned toward the team; it was pass or play time, “my boyfriend.”
I heard the gasps, including Caiden’s. I squeezed his hand to reassure him. I knew it would shock him to hear the words he wanted to hear. It shocked me to say them, but in this moment, it felt right.
Kenedy recovered first. “Wow, Bry.”
“Is there a problem?” I shot his direction.
“No,” he immediately countered. “It’s just, I’ve talked with Bennett, and he told me that you were afraid to admit your feelings for Mercer. This just seems quick.”
I nodded. “I know. Caiden and I are still feeling things out.”
“You were afraid of our opinions?” The voice was different, but I recognized it as Alex, my third baseman and the backup catcher. We called him Ace for his impeccable ability to fire the ball as a perfect strike to first every time he fielded it at third.
“Yeah, Ace, I was, but I can’t hide who I am anymore.” I meant those words. I was only really embracing this side of who I was, but I wasn’t going back.
“Can I ask you something, Bryson?”
“Go for it, Kel.” I wasn’t sure what his question was going to be, but I was willing to listen to it.
“You’re gay?” I nodded. “How can we be sure that you won’t be checking─”
I surged forward, grabbing his shirt.
“Seriously, man?” I hissed as Kenedy held me back. I was seething.
“Well, something distracted you. Who can say it wasn’t you checking out one of us or someone on the other team?”
“He got distracted by me,” I heard Caiden whisper.
“Kel, this is bull.”
“Is it, Ace?”
“Yeah, man. Isn’t it clear to you that Bryson isn’t interested in you?”
“I’m not gay, Ace, Trevino is.”
I watched as things transpired between my teammates as I found Caiden’s hand again. Alex nodded our way, “And Trevino is in a relationship.”
“And looking at him, Kel. You ain’t got nothing to worry about, perhaps you’re jealous,” Kenedy chuckled.
I stifled my laugh as the color drained from Kel’s face. “I’m not interested, Kel. I’ve only found myself attracted to two people.” I squeezed Caiden’s hand to warn him of my next words. “I never got my chance with Corbin. I was too afraid of what you would say. Of what the team would say. I can’t do that anymore. I can’t hide. Things with Caiden are complicated, but I’m not backing down. I want what I think we could have. With or without your support.”
“I’ll talk with Coach, Bry.”
“You don’t have to, Kenedy.”
“Then I’ll talk with him.” I looked over at Alex and realized that most of the team had my back.
“Guess the choice is yours, Kel,” I shrugged, pushing past them. Caiden and I had wasted enough time, we had a class to get to.
Chapter 19
CAIDEN
My mind was racing the whole time I sat in class. He had called me his boyfriend in front of the whole team. I was both excited and terrified. I didn’t want him to jeopardize baseball over me. I watched him that night, and he was good, good. I took out a piece of paper and wrote, in hopes Corbin or Grandpa would talk with me. I glanced Bryson’s way, but he was taking notes furiously. Maybe he’d let me borrow them later.
He defended us.
That’s Bryson.
Answer me something, Corbin.
Sure...
I wasn’t sure what to make of Corbin’s response; it seemed as though he got sidetracked. “Could you send Bryson Trevino to Coach Lewis?” Bryson stood without a word and walked out of the classroom he took his stuff with him.
My hand shot up, “Yes.”
“May I use the restroom?” The teacher nodded, and I bolted out the door.
“Bryson!” I hollered. He stopped and turned, flashing me a frown.
“Are you okay?” he questioned.
“I was going to ask you that.” He smiled and walked toward me, kissing my cheek.
“I’ll be good. Coach wanted to see me.” I sucked in a breath. “It’ll be fine, Caiden; most of the team had my back … I felt that.”
I nodded and kissed his cheek, allowing him to go see the coach. I returned to class feeling anxious and apprehensive about everything. I felt what he had felt too, but I was still nervous for him.
Corbin will look after him.
Jealousy surged through me at my grandpa’s words. That’s my job.
You need to understand Corbin’s place. I wanted to. I wanted to accept Corbin’s role in Bryson’s life, both in the past and now, but I was struggling with it still.
It hurts, though.
My boy, trust me, what Bryson did today wasn’t something he ever considered doing with Corbin.
I knew that, but it was the reason he did it that still bothered me. But that’s why he did it. To prove a point to his team. I knew the label he had given us he had done mostly for show. To prove a point to his team. I was happy about it, but also disappointed.
Bryson cares; clearly you can see that. You must respect his grieving process. He’s been nothing but honest with you. Can you say the same thing?
That’s not fair, Grandpa.
Isn’t it?
I sighed and crumpled up the paper. I was jealous that Corbin was still in Bryson’s life, and it bothered me that his actions with me were derived from him feeling like he let Corbin down. I wanted him, though. I had to figure out how to sort my feelings out. I didn’t want to lose him, and I needed to be honest with him about everything, but I was certain I wasn’t going to be able to do that. At least, not yet.
BRYSON
“Hello, Trevino.”
“Hello, Coach,” I replied, sitting across from him.
“I had some of the team come to me today, pleading your case.” I nodded. “I think a few weeks off will still benefit the team, and you.”
I nodded, “I understand.” I didn’t, but I was trying to put up a front. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. He frowned at me.
“Bryson, listen to me. This is about your talent and proving your worth to the team. Most of them get it, but there are still some reservations.”
“You mean Kel.” Damn it, was he not paying attention? I’m not interested.
“I mean Kel. Look, Alex is good behind the plate, but he’s not you. His place in the world of baseball is at third. He knows that, and the team knows that, but Kel needs to understand that talent should outweigh his irrational fears.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
“Trevino, look at me. I think you need the break too. You were dealing with Corbin’s death, and then the pressure of the district game. I get it,
Bryson. I get that it was a lot, so use not only this week, but next week too.”
He wasn’t wrong. My mind had been all over the place. Not fully for the reason he thought.
“Is my place on the team on the line because of who I’m choosing to be with?” I needed to know this. If the answer was yes, I’d walk right now and then sort my life out later.
He shook his head. “No, it’s not. I have to make sure, though, that everyone is comfortable.”
“What does that mean?”
He shrugged. “It means you might not catch when Kel is on the mound.”
I frowned, I understood, but Kel held the school and county record for strikeouts this season. He was deemed the best pitcher in the county, and he was top three in the state. Not catching him next season, his senior year, my junior year, would be devastating, but I got where Coach Lewis was coming from. If that were the price I had to pay to play baseball and keep Caiden, then I could handle that.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Back to class, Trevino.” He winked and smiled at me.
I gave him a small smile and then slowly walked back to class. The bell rang before I made it back, but I was able to give Caiden a wink. I would see him at lunch.
CAIDEN
My gaze was drawn to the window right as Bryson passed again. He winked at me. I breathed a small sigh of relief.
“He mostly won,” I heard on a whisper.
“What does that mean?” I whispered back, gathering my things. I knew I wouldn’t catch up to him, so I would have to wait until lunch.
“Kel is still on the fence about things, so it’s a problem. Coach Lewis feels the break will help not only him but Bryson too.”
I nodded; I didn’t have a response to him. I wanted to say something, but I wasn’t sure what.
“I’m falling fast.”
“He is too.”
I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about what was next. “He misses you.”
“I know, but you help.”
“He’ll always miss you, and he’ll always love you.”
“Are you looking for an excuse to end things?”
His tone surprised me. “No, I’m just terrified.” I didn’t want things to end with him, but I didn’t want to feel second either.
“You don’t trust easily. I never did either, but Bryson has something about him that makes trusting him effortless.”
I nodded at his note. He had a point. “I guess, I don’t trust myself.”
“I can respect that.”
The bell rang before I could respond, so I shuffled into class. Truth be told, I didn’t want to speak with Corbin anymore; I wanted it to be lunchtime, so I could talk with Bryson.
BRYSON
I felt him walk up, but I was drained, so I continued to keep my head down on the table. His arm came around me and I felt him kiss my shoulder. I enjoyed being comforted. Usually, I was the one comforting, so it was nice to have someone comfort me for a change. This was what had been missing with Corbin. He was great, and we were best friends, but I was the one picking up the pieces. Had I ever needed him to comfort me? I didn’t have an answer. I could rack my brain all day and fill it with memories of the past, but here, in the present, I had a good guy with his arm around me, letting me be me.
I finally looked up slightly to meet his eyes. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I could feel the confusion.
“Usually, I comfort, I needed someone to comfort me for a change, and you gave me that.”
His forehead rested against mine, and the quiet companionship we shared settled between us. “You look happy.” I jumped at her interruption.
“Hey, Kimber.” I looked around for my brother, but he wasn’t nearby.
“I beat him here.”
I frowned at her words as I thought back to what Bennett had said about their relationship. “Bennett told you,” she replied calmly.
I nodded, “He did.”
She nodded and frowned. “I love your brother, but...”
“But it’s not enough for us.” My brother’s voice clearly startled Kimber, and suddenly, I realized that in our conversation, Bennett hadn’t been completely honest with me. This wasn’t a mutual decision; this was something Kimber had initiated. “You okay, Bry? Kenedy stopped me on my way here.”
I sighed. “I wasn’t really sure what I was until Caiden arrived. It’ll be okay. I just need to give some of the guys time. I have to give myself time. Coach was right about that.”
He nodded. “We will leave you be. See you at dinner, Caiden?”
“Yes.” He sounded excited and that lifted my spirits. I wanted him happy and I was glad he seemed happy. That helped to lift my spirits too.
CAIDEN
I wasn’t sure what to say to him, but I liked the idea that he felt like I was comforting him. I was surprised that I was able to give that to him, but seeing him look so down, I knew I needed to be his strength. “Are you okay?”
He stared at me for a long while before speaking. “I stand by what I said to Ben. I need this time.”
I understood, but it didn’t answer my question. “But are you okay?” I stressed.
His head dropped to my shoulder and his arms went around my waist. I returned his embrace and waited him out. “It’s been a really long day, and it’s only halfway over.” He laughed lightly and lifted his head. My breath caught as he gazed at me. “You’re helping, though.”
I didn’t have words for him. I leaned in, and he kissed me. I didn’t want the moment to end. “Caiden Kamry, please come to the office. Caiden Kamry to the office.” My heart stopped.
“Caiden?” he questioned, but I shook him off, kissing his cheek. I didn’t want him to follow me. I knew. I knew because my phone buzzed right before my name was called. My stepfather was here and spying on me.
I walked into the office. “Kamry, you’re going home early.”
I looked over at my stepfather who was smiling. “Everything okay, Mark?”
“Fine, son.”
I swallowed hard. The office staff wouldn’t have noticed his tone, but it was dripping with sarcasm. I wasn’t ashamed of who I was, but to my stepfather, I was a living sin.
On the way to the car, I caught Bryson’s eye. He had followed me but knew enough to stay back. I frowned and felt the tears hit my cheek. I was used to masking my feelings until I was alone, but Bryson brought out my emotions.
BRYSON
Since I wasn’t welcome at drills I went to my mom’s office. I saw the tears and the fear in Caiden’s eyes, and I couldn’t stand by and let the fact that he was being abused go.
“What are you doing here?” she smiled, kissing my cheek.
“Coach felt a break would serve me and the team well, and I can’t say I disagree.”
“You didn’t have to come here, though. You could’ve gone home.” It wasn’t a day she had anything scheduled for Bennett and me since it was a baseball drill day. When the season was in full force, I didn’t work at all. Now that it was over, I was expected to keep my schedule.
“I need to talk with you.”
Her brows creased. “My office?” I swallowed and nodded.
Once closed inside my mom’s office, I fell into a chair. The tears poured out of my eyes. “He’s being hurt, Mom.”
“Who? Caiden?” I felt her arm come around me.
“Yes. His stepfather.”
“What about his mom?” she asked, and I knew that she was making mental notes.
“I think she’s checked out.”
She nodded and squeezed me to her. “Go home, my boy, I’ll handle things.”
I trusted my mom, so I did as I was told. I went home. I was surprised when her car pulled up five minutes later. I watched as she went across the street.
“Tell me I did the right thing, Corbin.”
“You did the right thing.”
“Do you believe that?” I asked because something was twisting inside of me, telling me t
hat this would be too much for him.
“Yes.” I closed my eyes for a moment and let everything sink in, then I sent him a text.
BRYSON: Don’t be mad at me.
Chapter 20
CAIDEN
BRYSON: Don’t be mad at me.
I couldn’t fathom why I would be mad at him. Then, I heard voices. I went to the top step, and my heart stopped.
“I’d like to speak with Caiden’s mom.”
“And who are you?” Mark hissed.
CAIDEN: What did you do?
BRYSON: I was worried about you.
While his concern was appreciated, I didn’t want this. I didn’t need this. I didn’t need someone else involved in the shit show that was my life.
CAIDEN: I can’t do this, Bryson. We need to take some steps back.
He had claimed me today. I had begged for a label, and he had given it to me in a moment that was crucial for his life. His future.
BRYSON: I agree but promise me something.
CAIDEN: I’ll try.
BRYSON: Don’t shut me out.
I couldn’t make that promise. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t.
“I’m Charlotte Trevino.”
I watched what was transpiring between my stepfather and Ms. Trevino, and I was horrified. I was embarrassed. Why did he tell his mom?
“I’m Mark Rogers. My wife isn’t feeling well, so she’s not up for company.”
I swallowed hard and must have made a noise because their eyes came my way. “Hello, Caiden,” she smiled.
“Hello, Ms. Trevino.”
“How did you know this woman?” Mark snapped.
“She lives across the street,” I whispered, and I prayed he didn’t hear me. I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t want him to take Bryson from me. Despite what I had just told Bryson, I also knew I needed him.
“You’re Bryson’s mom?”
“I am.” She was stern and determined. I saw where Bryson got his personality. It warmed my heart for a second. These people. The Trevino family. They were special.
Her attention came back to me. “Dinner, Caiden?”
I frowned and shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Are you okay?” I looked at Mark and knew what my answer had to be.