Muse: ( Groupie Volume 2 of 2)

by Susan Daugherty

  I found Jackson on our coach, waiting for therapy. He’d changed into pajamas and turned on another Adam Sandler movie, while snacking on Twizzlers. I grinned at this, since he stocked them for me, and I grabbed the one he offered. We worked on his rehab for the next hour, listening to Billy Madison for distraction while I massaged the swelling from his ankle, mobilized his ankle joints, and led him through stretches. Each concert night set back his progress, but he was still on track due to our daily sessions.

  As I finished my documentation and told him I was heading to bed, he softly said, “Lexie, I plan to sing that song each night until I get an answer.”

  “I thought we already decided on an answer. We need to follow through. Please, don’t make it more difficult … the song was beautiful, though,” I trailed off, knowing I sounded half-hearted.

  He gave a sad smile. “Well, I plan to keep singing it, and hope that your answer will change.”

  I lay down in my bunk with a heavy heart, wishing I could move on with more authority.

  Chapter 3

  Chattanooga was a welcome change when we arrived on Friday, after a brief drive. The shows were scheduled Sunday and Monday, so we parked for a few nights at an RV resort, this time on Lake Chickamauga. It comforted me that the next weekend we would arrive in Lexington and I would see my brother, Will, and familiar territory.

  We finished our morning therapy session during the drive, and I ventured out for a power walk as soon as we parked. I craved distance from Jackson. The longer I spent with him, the more I liked him all over again. It was exactly what I’d asked for, a fresh start. Like we had just met, except I eventually fell for him the first time, and it was going to happen again if I didn’t watch myself. Ashley called on her lunch break, during my walk, so I slowed my pace to talk and eventually stopped at a bench as she babbled about her week.

  She finally mentioned, “By the way, I managed to clear my hectic social calendar for a little trip down to Chattanooga for the weekend, that is, if I’m still invited.”

  I jumped up and down like a teenager and squealed, making us both laugh. She planned to drive ninety minutes down to the park after work that night and stay through the Sunday night show before driving back. She arranged to stay with a family friend that lived nearby, but I told her I’d ask if she could stay with me on the bus. I was on cloud nine as I pranced back into the coach.

  Jackson raised an eyebrow at me from behind his computer and said, “What’s got into you, twinkle toes?”

  My grin grew wider as I sat across from him in the wingback chair. “Ashley’s coming tonight for the weekend; remember you said she should come for a show?”

  He looked genuinely happy for me. I let the information hang there, and he jumped right in, saving me from asking when he offered, “That’s cool. She can have the other bunk if you can manage to clean it up.”

  I stuck my tongue out at him. “Hey, I’m usually a tidy person. I don’t exactly have a bedroom here, Mr. Morgan.”

  He chuckled. “I think I just got myself in way over my head with the two of you.”

  In the shower, I hummed as I thought how good it would be to have an ally here … and for her to see how impossible it was to live with this ridiculously good looking man, day in and day out.

  Jack’s afternoon consisted of radio spots and local interviews, so we met up a few hours later, just before dinner, for our second therapy session. He progressed well, and only his surgical restrictions were holding him back at this point, which I knew frustrated him. I reread his evaluation so he could compare all of our updated measurements and see how far he had come.

  “Wow.” He breathed deeply. “It seems so long ago that I first met you, or rather, my crazy alter ego met your pitcher of ice chips.”

  A laugh burst out of my lips. “I will never forget your expression when I told you the details of how you called me ‘Babycakes’ and the dried spit on your mouth.”

  He buried his face in his hands and laughed. “Thanks for bringing that up again, really. I’ll never forget when you first explained how you detested my music and me. You had balls from day one, and I loved it.”

  I gasped in mock horror. “I did not detest you, just the image you put out there. Okay, I’ll admit, I thought you were shallow as a puddle.”

  He laughed and opened his mouth to retort when a loud knock came at the door. I opened it to find Joe escorting Ashley up the steps. We squealed and hugged, both of us tearing up while we carried her bag into the newly cleaned bottom bunk.

  She brought a much-needed lightness to the bus, and we all smiled as Joe led our way over to the dinner tables. Gloria had outdone herself with an Italian feast of chicken parmesan. It was fun to see my surroundings through Ashley’s eyes; it was all so new and exciting for her. I introduced her to everyone she hadn’t met by the end of the night and was especially glad that she hit it off with Kate.

  Ashley was a freakishly good poker player after dating a professional for six months last year. She joined the guys’ game, and I sat with her while we drank beer and relaxed. My phone buzzed with a call from Dr. Gray, so I walked to a quiet place.

  He told me he planned to drive down tomorrow for a check-up with Jack and would meet us at 10:00 a.m. His voice sounded like his normal monotone, and thankfully, he did not mention my birthday fiasco or the ultimatum afterward. Just his voice reminded me to watch my professional boundaries. I craved extra rest for our morning meeting, so I excused myself to bed and left the others to their heated poker game.

  I never heard Jack come in that night, but he was up and ready for his therapy at nine o’clock the next morning, as we had planned. Ashley, a fellow PT, was curious to watch a session after she brought plates of omelets and cinnamon rolls back from the kitchen bus. We talked medical terminology and anatomy for the next hour while Jack sighed and tuned us out.

  Dr. Gray arrived, escorted by Johnny, right on time, and he remained professional and ever boring as he examined Jack from head to toe and documented his findings on his tablet. I answered maybe fifty questions the doctor fired off about his progress, level of activity, pain ratings, and compliance. An hour later, he seemed satisfied and almost surprised he hadn’t found any problems to address. It had been a month since the accident, and he planned to see him again in another month, unless an issue arose.

  Jack managed to say in at least ten different ways that I was doing a great job and working hard. As the contracted patient, he told the doctor he planned to give me time off to do whatever I wanted, not considered “on the clock.” Dr. Gray never responded, but he was so non-social, I didn’t expect him to say much.

  Andy appeared to take Jack to a record signing at Hamilton Place Mall. I normally passed on these excursions, but Ashley was excited to see the celebrity life, so we tagged along. A limo picked up the four of us, along with Joe and Johnny, and we arrived in style. Ashley and I gaped at the throngs of fans waiting to see him at the record store and were amazed at how smoothly security kept him safe. The sheer noise of the fans, the constant barrage of camera flashes, and the pushy media microphones were overwhelming to us, but he looked right at home.

  After giving several media interviews, he sat behind a table and signed CDs for hours. We watched Jack mug for the last photos as the line finally dwindled down, then we exited out a back door and got into the limo. Joe chuckled as he pulled slips of paper from his pockets and laid them out. Ashley and I looked puzzled, and Jack stared out the window, blatantly showing disinterest.

  Joe explained, “Every time a girl slipped her number, he handed it off to me. Let’s see. Looks like twelve this time, Jacky boy. Not bad for three hours.” He rolled down the window and let the papers fly away while Ashley and I wore matching expressions of awe.

  She looked at me with wide eyes, and I gave her a pointed look as if to say: Do you see why I’m so out of my league here?

  Ashley cleared her throat. “Wow, Jack. I wonder, if you ever have a girlfriend, how she will dea
l with things like this. Gonna have to find a very trusting woman.”

  He turned his gaze toward us and said, “It’s likely that I will never find out.” He returned to a contemplative mood, and we clammed up until we reached the park just in time for dinner.

  I checked Jackson’s ankle after we ate and found it to be in good shape, so we bypassed a formal therapy session. The rest of the night flew by as the band played songs around a bonfire, and we all took turns getting up to dance and goof off. Jack turned in first. He had kept his bad mood the entire night, barely talking to anyone. Ashley and I followed, after midnight, whispering to each other in our bunks until we fell asleep. Tomorrow would be a show day, but at least I would have some support with me to get through.

  The concert was fresh through Ashley’s eyes. She reveled in the process of set up, the walk through, seeing the dressing rooms and especially the craft service food and drinks in the lounge.

  We watched the show with Andy in the normal spot, side-stage. When Jackson introduced “I Told You So” as the second-to-last song, he said, “I’m still waiting for my answer, so here goes again ….”

  He played the beautiful melody and Ashley, and I were both entranced as she whispered, “Oh, forgive him for goodness sake.”

  She was able to hang out in the lounge for a mere half hour before driving back to Knoxville. It would be midnight before she got there and had to work again in the morning. I fought my tears as we hugged. Ashley promised it would all work out, reminding me that the struggle of whether or not to let myself fall for an extremely hot music star was not really a bad problem to have.

  “Love you. Mean it,” I called as she drove away, knowing I would miss her welcomed distraction. Feeling melancholy, I skipped the lounge and waited in the coach for our post-show therapy.

  The buses had to return to the RV park that night, so Jackson was back after an hour. We began his treatment on the drive, and he confessed to putting extra weight on his foot a few times, trying to move around the stage too fast. I scolded him when his measurements showed worse swelling. I started him in the fluidotherapy and then worked out the edema with massage, which was sorer than usual. He had a harder time doing his exercises as well, so I passively stretched him and cut down some of the reps of his others.

  Jackson appraised me as I finished my computer work and took him off e-stim. I finally raised my eyebrows and demanded, “What are you staring at?”

  “Just hoping for an answer, but I can wait as long as it takes.” He settled back into the couch and folded his hands patiently.

  Clarity hit me. I needed to be very precise before the lines blurred again. I sat across from him and sighed. “Jackson, listen, I think I gave you the wrong idea. I didn’t end things with us after ‘GroupieGate’ just to play hard to get. ‘Let’s start over’ didn’t mean I wanted you to win me over again. I said it because we just aren’t going to be good together. We both have careers to worry about, and our worlds are totally different.”

  “I see.” His voice was tight.

  “The perfect example was today after the record store—all those numbers! Just as Ashley said, you will need one hell of a confident woman to be able to tolerate things like that. It’s going to be a daily issue, Jack. It’s part of your job and your life, but, it’s not for me. I’m not naïve enough to think you’d be innocent at all times, and I’m not strong enough not to care.”

  He closed his eyes and shrugged, as if he understood, but still didn’t like it. “If we’re going by Ashley’s wisdom, she told me she thought our chemistry was too strong to be denied.”

  I shook my head. “She told me the same thing, but it would be in vain. Next week, it would be a new problem or another slip up. We just need to stay professional, and if we can, friends. Please, it needs to be this way.”

  “Sure, okay, Lex. I get it. No more songs, no more pleas. Let’s move on,” he said impassively and ambled toward his bedroom without another word.

  I collapsed in my bunk, once again filled with doubt, but knowing that at least I was clear with him. No more ambivalence and no more wondering where the line stood, it was firmly drawn.

  Chapter 4

  Back-to-back concerts meant the next day flew by with preparations for the second show. I stayed clear of Jackson after his distant attitude during our morning therapy session. The emotional roller coaster made me want a nap before dinnertime. I crashed in my bunk, but sleep would not rescue me. Finally, I gave up when I heard Jackson thumping into the coach on his crutch.

  “Lexie?” he hollered gruffly, “Where the hell did you go? You gonna do this walk through or what?”

  I pulled my curtain back and scooted out so that my legs dangled over the edge of the top bunk. “I’m right here. I’ll just get my shoes on.”

  “Well, hurry up. I’m paying you enough to be here, you should be ready to go.”

  My mouth fell open, and my efforts to play nice slipped away as I glared at him. “You do not need to speak to me that way, Mr. Morgan. You have repeatedly told me I’m earning every penny and I’m indispensable … or, was that only when you thought you had a chance of getting in my pants?”

  His eyebrows rose with surprise. “Believe me, no amount of money is worth the effort it would take to get in those pants. No one is ever going to be good enough to meet your damn standards.”

  “Really?” I shrieked. “Because you have the opposite problem, Jack. You’ll jump into any skank’s pants—even two at a time!”

  His face turned scarlet with anger as he pressed his lips tight together. “Well, we know you’ll never, ever let me forget about that, now don’t we?”

  He pivoted quickly and slammed the door behind him as he left. I fell on my back and screamed into my pillow. Damn, damn, damn! It was going to be a long three months if this was where we stood.

  I forced myself to go on the walk through but hung back behind the others as they surveyed the stage again and made sure it remained up to safety standards. I met Jackson at our usual spot next to the stage as Delilah wrapped up. We didn’t look at each other until we heard her telling the crowd it was her last stop and she was so sad to see her part of the tour end. I couldn’t help a mischievous smile from forming on my lips and risked a look up to see Jackson’s expression mirrored mine.

  “Well, at least we agree on one thing,” he said softly and I nodded. We both grinned for a second and then shifted uncertainly. Delilah and her band exited and the crew began their flurry of work, which distracted us for several minutes.

  I broke the silence. “Look, I know you don’t want this tonight, but I need to give you a good luck kiss because if I don’t and something happens out there … The only time I missed it was the worst night ever, so I would just feel better if I did ….” I babbled until he finally gave me a nod and turned his cheek to me silently. I stood on tiptoe and gave him a quick peck and then retreated, neither of us commenting further.

  After the show and the lounge, we all rode back to the RV park, excluding the crew who planned to work late that night with the break down. I started his therapy on the drive, and we remained quiet, but less tense than earlier. I could tell he was in pain after two shows, and I tried to help in every way I could.

  When he stood up to head to his room, he stopped to look at me. “My leg feels a lot better, thank you. You are indispensable to me, Lexie. Sorry for being an ass, I just don’t know … how to be.”

  I swallowed hard and nodded. “I know it’s a … complicated situation. I’m sorry, too. I hope we can figure it out.”

  He took a deep breath and sighed, then closed his door behind him.

  “It’ll be so nice to have a few days in Nashville, won’t it, Andy?”

  “Yeah, I like having my own bed every now and then.”

  I was only halfway listening to Kate and Andy talk at the picnic table over breakfast. Mostly, I congratulated myself on my matchmaking progress, but suddenly my ears perked up.

  “Nashville? I thoug
ht the next show was Lexington.” I knew the cities on the tour stops, but I was terrible at keeping up with the dates.

  “Yep, but on the way up, we detour in Music City for four days. The buses get some routine maintenance, and Jack has business meetings and press to do,” Andy replied.

  My face gave away my sudden apprehension. Jackson and I were so wrapped up in our own drama, we hadn’t talked about any upcoming details. Where would I sleep on such a stop?

  Bless Kate for sensing my panic. Her high voice chimed up, “Of course, you know you’re going to have to stay with me, Lexie. You need time away from the boss and the coach.”

  I gave her a grateful smile, trying to hide the color creeping into my cheeks. Had Jack given thought to our arrangement at all? As if it could get any more awkward at this point.

  The two and a half hour drive began in uncomfortable silence that extended through his first PT session of the day. When I hooked him up to e-stim, I finally broached the subject by telling him how the stop in Nashville had surprised me.

  He rubbed his face in his hands and then through his curls, exhaling a deep breath. “I’m at a loss, Lexie. I thought you would come with me to my apartment originally, but now it doesn’t seem right. I mean, you’d either think I was ‘trying to win you back,’” his fingers made air quotes, and his tone turned sardonic, “or you’d be afraid of what your bosses would say about that.”

  I rubbed my lips for a moment and then shrugged. “Fair enough. We’re a complete mess. I’m staying with Kate, so it’s fine. Maybe a little space will be good for us.”