Muse: ( Groupie Volume 2 of 2)

by Susan Daugherty

  His mouth set in a grim line. “Maybe. I’ll leave the Jeep with you; Amos is picking me up in my other car. Can we meet at the bus lot each morning for my PT session?”

  “Sure.”

  For three days, we only met for an hour of therapy. Each day, he had a different PR or marketing rep with him in order to squeeze in all of his meetings. We barely had a chance to speak, and anyone would have thought we were near strangers. Kate ran around to various dance classes, and I worked often on my case study. On our last day in town, I used the GPS in the Jeep to find a branch of my bank near Opry Mills.

  Sure enough, the teller handed me a statement showing I was the wealthiest I’d ever been in my life. My last paycheck and my first month contract fee of ten grand had cleared, and my heart raced at the numbers. I briefly envisioned running off for a trip to Europe, like I’d always wanted to do, or shopping for a new car, but then my thoughts sobered. I wrote a large check to Edfinancial right then and felt a welcome sense of relief that my college loans were much closer to resolution.

  I kept several hundred dollars to shop with, since the bank had led me to an enormous mall. I bought Will the newest iPad from the Apple store for a graduation present. It was more fun to buy for others and didn’t come with the same guilt.

  When Friday arrived, Kate and I headed back to the coaches to unpack and hit the road again. The crew took over the Jeep, hitching it to the bus after we got out, just in time to see Amos whip up and slam to a stop in Jack’s “other car.” It was a pristine, black convertible Audi T 3, and Andy had to help haul Jackson out of the low bucket seat.

  We started therapy on the three and a half hour drive, for the first time without company in days, but still, we were silent. I measured his ankle movements, told him he made gains in all areas, which was a welcome sign of healing. Small talk seemed like a strain, but I tried anyway.

  “I wasn’t expecting your other vehicle to be a flashy sports car. Thought you were just an ordinary Jeep kind of guy.”

  “I am, but I was convinced I needed to own a toy car, too—just for fun. I drive it about five days out of the year.” He smiled at this honest admission.

  “The Jeep suits you better.” My first thought flew out of my mouth.

  “I agree.” We both smiled faintly and fell back into silence for several minutes while he completed his stretches. When I finished my medical notes and shut my Netbook, a sigh escaped my lips.

  “What is it you want to say?” he asked cautiously.

  “I hate the way we’re acting. We were never stiff and weird like this, even when I didn’t like you, or when we were dealing with the hospital investigation, or you were kidnapping me. We were always … us.” I twisted my fingers as I talked, finally looking up at his sapphire eyes.

  He groaned in frustration. “I don’t like it either, but I don’t know what to do. Things are different now, Lexie. We crossed a line, and it’s hard to go back after we’ve been there—when it was so good.” He looked away while I chewed my lip nervously. He finally continued, “You don’t want me to try to get you back, and I’m paranoid our normal banter and joking will feel that way to you. Plus, it’s easier for me not to be around you, because I do want you back, and I can’t change like a light switch. Not like you can.”

  “Jackson! It’s hard for me, too. I sat at Kate’s by myself, wondering who you were out there spending time with, and it made me sick. I’m just trying like hell to do the best thing, and I thought we could start over—”

  “You did?”

  I blinked. “Did what?”

  “Wondered who I was with?”

  “Of course.”

  He smirked. “Sounds like we’re both miserable.”

  “You are?”

  “Yes. We should end the misery and get back together.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut as my brain and heart battled. Of course we weren’t over it, we hadn’t had enough time and space. Ashley always said the best way to get over one is to get another. I thought back to the Morrison couple in the hospital. They said there might be many you could live with, but only one you couldn’t live without, despite their flaws.

  “Maybe the opposite. Maybe we need to date other people. I mean, how can you know you really want to be with me when you haven’t tried to be with anyone else? I mean, excluding red-heel and black-boot girls. It would be good to see how fast we may, or may not, be able to move on.”

  He rolled his eyes at me and said through clenched teeth, “You are so damn maddening! I give up. Whatever. Let’s date other people. While on tour, I have a bunch of groupies to choose from, and you basically have my band to choose from. F-ing genius idea.”

  I glared back at him until Jackson’s phone rang and he grabbed it off the table and barked a hello. I could tell it was Amos as they talked in short phrases and hung up.

  “Well, if that isn’t perfect timing,” he said, shaking his head. “The major country radio station in Lexington was working on a concert promotion and called with an update this afternoon. They’re having some kind of ‘Win a date with Jack’ contest. Damn! It was never cleared with me, and Amos never should have agreed. I’m not doing it, no way.” He fumed and began pacing back and forth on his crutch.

  After a long moment, I looked up to capture his gaze and said softly, “You should do it.”

  He furrowed his brows in frustration. I tried again. “No, really. It’s what we just talked about. It will be good to see what else is out there—maybe it’s a really great girl.”

  “Or some frumpy, middle-aged housewife I have absolutely nothing in common with, who just wants me to sign a hundred autographs for her kids!”

  I suppressed a giggle at the image. “Well, there’s only one way to find out. Chances could be high in a college town for a cute co-ed.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me and then finally smirked. “Okay, then, Dr. Travis, have it your way. But, let’s see how you feel when it turns out to be a cute co-ed after all.”

  He grabbed his phone again and hit a speed dial number. “Amos. I’ll do it, but I need stipulations. The contest is only to be open to college students, female obviously. That should seriously cut down the age group and likeliness of a nightmare. And, of course, be at least eighteen.” He grinned at me, as if to say she’ll be legal, just in case.

  I rolled my eyes at him this time and shook my head. It made sense to limit the pool for the contest, but he was right. How would I feel when a young, hot, sorority girl showed up for the date? My stomach churned, and I retreated to my bunk for the rest of the drive.

  Chapter 5

  We arrived in Lexington Thursday evening, and I was ecstatic to find we were at an RV park off Newtown Pike, close to a scenic area of black double fences, barns that looked like mansions, and beautiful thoroughbred horses. I ventured out on a walk to put space between Jackson and myself. I called both my mom and dad to arrange for visits before the busy show day on Saturday.

  When I returned to the vacant bus to change clothes, I found the radio on, blaring the local country station. After two songs, the DJ broke in to announce there were only a few more chances to be the seventh caller and have your name entered in the “Win a Date with Jack” contest. He went on to say the phone lines had never been so busy in history. Obviously. This had been my idea, I reminded myself, as I cleaned up and changed clothes. At least if he went on a few dates and was still interested in me, I’d have more confidence in his sincerity.

  Outside, I waited for my dad and saw him drive by in his same trusty Explorer on the main road as he missed his turn. I laughed at how some things never changed as I headed toward the road to flag him down. I could hear the band jamming inside the gray bus, so I didn’t interrupt, but stopped to tell Kate and Andy I had a date with my dad and would be back in a few hours. A warm feeling crept over me to see them hanging out together in folding chairs, playing a card game all by themselves. Maybe someone on this tour would prove me wrong about true love.

  Whe
n I returned to the coach hours later, I was surprised to find Jackson inside on the couch as if he were waiting for me. He held his guitar, green notebook on his lap and pencil between his lips, tousled curls as perfect as ever. He hid the notebook as soon as I entered.

  “I didn’t realize you were leaving tonight ’til Andy filled me in. How’s your dad?”

  I sat down across from him and took off my shoes and jewelry. “He’s pretty much the same guy to a tee since I moved away. He seems happy with the coffee shop and his bachelor pad. He has a new girlfriend he talked about quite a bit. I’ve already talked him out of trying to bring her to Will’s graduation. Anyway, we ate at Pazzo’s, had a beer, and stopped by the coffee shop. It felt really weird to be on campus and not be a student; Thursdays were a huge night to go out,” I said, reminiscing.

  “Did you feel old? I remember going back to MTSU not long ago for a fundraiser, and I felt so out of place, like the creepy old guy who thought he was still cool.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I was totally cruising with my dad tonight, and I remembered how embarrassed I would have been to do that in school.”

  We grinned at each other and were abruptly quiet. After a pause, I spoke. “Well, does your ankle feel good or should we do another round?”

  “It actually feels great since this morning’s session. Tomorrow, I have an interview with the local paper and the university paper, plus some call-ins from surrounding FM stations. I think it’ll be best to do a good round in the morning again.”

  “Plus, tomorrow night is your big date.”

  He scoffed. “Yeah, we’ll see. They’re sending a limo to pick me up. She’ll be waiting at the radio station, where they’ll take our picture and plaster it on social media for publicity before we go out to dinner.”

  I swallowed. “Where are you eating?”

  “Some place called DeShea’s. They say it’s one of the best around, there’s a private party room blocked off with a special entrance for us.”

  “Wow, yeah, that’s one of my favorites. Been there twice. Will and I both chose it for our high school graduation dinner.”

  He sighed. “It’s just too damn bad. I just wish … hell, never mind.”

  I tried to stop myself from filling in the blanks with every possibility. Instead, I rose and headed to the bathroom for my bedtime rituals and went straight to my bunk for a restless night’s sleep.

  The next morning, Charlie barged in during the therapy session, which was a welcome reprieve from our awkwardness. He updated us on how Theo officially finished his senior year at Vanderbilt and wished he could come on tour instead of getting a real job. I told them my mom was coming to pick me up after her work today for dinner and then a trip to watch my old teammate, who now coached the dance team at our high school.

  “You could totally do something like that,” Jackson said as if a light bulb went off. “I know you can’t dance hard core anymore, but as a coach, you could choreograph and teach.”

  I rolled my eyes as I took him out of e-stim to complete his treatment. “What is it with you trying to always involve me in dance?”

  He shrugged with an impish grin. “I just hate to see talent go to waste. Kind of like Charlie here. If he doesn’t stop smoking, he won’t make it through a show and he’ll get benched.”

  I was glad for the change of subject as Charlie grumbled and threw a beer can across the room at Jackson. Andy came in to prep Jackson for his long day of publicity, and I decided to dress for a power walk around the horse farms.

  Before I left, I waved and tried to say convincingly, “Good luck today … and have fun tonight.”

  His jaw flexed with unsaid words, while he just stared back at me until the door closed slowly.

  My mom arrived late in the afternoon, and I welcomed her long hug and knowing eyes. We both understood I wouldn’t spill the whole saga of my experience with Jackson to her, but she knew I was going through something, and I accepted her quiet comfort.

  We went to my childhood home so she could change clothes. I paced around, looking at the house that had changed so much, yet not at all. The same family photos hung on the walls, but all of Dad’s things were gone. Will and my rooms looked just the same, our leftover furniture and memorabilia still where they’d always been. I sighed as I looked at my old framed pictures of friends, recitals, and graduation. Briefly, I wondered if I had done the right thing by moving away and then willed myself to block out the thoughts.

  We ate at my other favorite spot, Cheddar’s, for dinner and caught up on our lives. Especially our pathetic attempts at dating. It felt so bizarre to be in the same position as my mom—trying to meet a good person and navigate the dating rules.

  Going back to my high school felt strange as well. They had repainted the green and gold school colors and had a new set of bleachers. I greeted my old friend, Holly, on the sidelines of the gym, and we launched into a quick catch-up conversation. She insisted we sit in the folding chairs on the floor next to the team. I smiled, lost in the music and fun of the next two hours as the school celebrated its last pep rally for the year’s end. Mom and I reminisced on similar events from my and Will’s school days. It was fun to relax and do something so normal for an evening, but despite my best efforts, my thoughts drifted back to Jackson all night.

  Mom dropped me off near ten o’clock to a quiet bus. I changed into pajamas and settled with my novel and the bag of Twizzlers on the couch. As hard as I tried, I could not resist looking at Facebook to find the radio station page and the picture of Jackson and his date. I examined it for a long moment, not sure whether to be satisfied or distraught. Of course, he was flawless in the photo with his strong jaw, straight nose, and smooth skin. His white linen button-down shirt clung to his physique in all the right places. Then, I remembered I was supposed to be checking out his date. She was indeed a pretty girl, looked to be about twenty-one or twenty-two and classy in a purple wrap dress. She was very opposite to me in looks, with sleek, dark hair and blue-gray eyes, bronze skin, and with an exotic look to her. I had always been jealous of her type of beauty, probably because you always want what you don’t have.

  I nervously drummed my fingers while watching the clock and wandered how long dinner could last … or if they were making a night out of it. I reread the same page of my book at least five times as I gnawed my tension out on a Twizzler.

  Mercifully, I heard him ascending the steps. I tried to act nonchalant, but realized I must look like he did last night when he waited up for me. I turned a page as he entered, pretending to be engrossed and didn’t look up until he reached the couch.

  “Oh, hey.” I yawned. “How did it go?”

  His eyebrows rose with a suspicious look. I was totally busted.

  “Well, it was interesting, I guess.” He sat back and unstrapped his boot one at a time.

  I gnawed harder on my Twizzler to keep my hands from nervously wringing. “Care to expand, Mr. Morgan? She was very pretty in the photo.”

  “Yeah, I would say she’s very attractive. Smart girl, able to hold a conversation, and I was damn glad she wasn’t ditzy. Studying to be a science teacher, she’s from—”

  I grimaced and interrupted. “Okay, okay, I don’t need her biography! How did it go as a date? I mean, did you feel anything?”

  He burst out laughing. “Feel? Yeah, I felt happy when it was over, because it was a fake, forced date. I mean, I don’t have any experience in ‘real’ dates lately, but if that’s what it’s like, then count me out. She was a nice enough girl, but, no, Lexie, there weren’t sparks flying.”

  I tried not to smile, so I chewed instead as I shrugged. “Yeah, blind dates are tricky. It’s awkward, but sometimes you do get those sparks, so they say. Maybe another date with someone who’s not a stranger?”

  “Sorry, Doc, this dating crap is a waste of time. But, please, by all means, let’s find someone for you to try next. Maybe you’ll have better luck.”

  I decided a complete change of subject
was due as I got up to clean the coffee table before bed. “I can’t wait to see Will tomorrow. Did you say he was able to come backstage afterward?”

  “Andy sent him passes for him and three guests to come for pre-show and post-show VIP. Plus, Andy has a seat for you next to them in the second row, so you can watch with them.” He yawned and headed to his room, green notebook discreetly tucked under his arm.

  I called to his back, “Thank you, Jackson Ellis Morgan.”

  He shook his head and turned to give me a wry grin. “Only you, Lex, could get away with that.” Then he closed the door behind him.

  Chapter 6

  Show day brought the familiar rush I had come to love. We woke around nine o’clock and ate a quick breakfast to begin therapy right away. Andy joined us to go over the specific agenda. I pulled it out of him that he and Kate had taken my advice and gone downtown to Triangle Park and enjoyed the evening.

  “The catch is,” he said sheepishly, pushing his glasses up his nose again, “a few others went with us, too, so I think I was more of a chauffeur.”

  I gave him an optimistic smile and kept pity from my eyes. “I bet Kate was wishing it was just you two. Don’t worry, plenty of time.”

  The crew drove over early while the rest of us rode in the buses to the huge underground parking garage at Rupp Arena, which tucked into downtown. We spent most of the day in the dressing rooms and lounge. At this venue, our rooms were on a different floor than the stage, so we routed logistics to limit Jackson’s time on his feet. The crew added a peninsula into the middle of the floor because the stage was so far back on the arena floor. We practiced his entrance and navigation of the new stage.

  At six o’clock, I heard a chorus of excited voices echo into the backstage area while we taped down cords. I looked up to see Johnny, in his black security shirt, escorting Will and his friends to see us.

  “Will!” I screeched like a lunatic and ran to hug him, nearly knocking him down.