Raising Ryann

by Alyssa Rae Taylor

  “Exactly. Was.” He leans forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “I think some people deserve second chances, that’s all. You know I care about you.” He watches me carefully, and I nod my head in response. I do believe he cares about me. If I’m being honest, I think about my father all the time. I’m just not sure what to do about the situation, or if I’ll ever be ready to talk with him.

  “Look, all I ask is that you’ll think about it. All right?” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Can you do that for me?” His voice is soft.

  I don’t know why I give him what he wants, but I’m unable to argue any longer. “Okay,” I murmur. “I’ll think about it.”

  The corner of his mouth tips, and he nudges me with his shoulder. “Come here,” he says, pulling me in for an intoxicating hug. “Thank you.”

  Enjoying this new side of him, I shut my eyes and squeeze him tighter, hoping we can do this more often. “Luke,” my voice is muffled with my face pressed into his chest.

  “Hmm?”

  “Is this off limits?”

  “Is what?”

  I shiver as his breath blows against the crook of my neck. “You and I hugging, is it off limits?”

  “Hell no,” he grumbles. When I pull away, he flashes his dimples.

  “Good, cuz you smell amazing.”

  He tilts his head to the side. “I do?”

  “Like a breath of fresh air.” I grin.

  Slowly eyeing me up and down, he says, “Yeah, well, so do you.” Then he gets off the couch and walks toward the kitchen. “You thirsty?” He grabs a couple waters from the fridge before I can answer. “Come on, I want to show you something.” He hands me a bottle then pulls a blue blanket out of the closet.

  I stop and stare at the black and white photos on the wall. Several are from his fights—one where he’s raising his hand in a fist, another where he’s wearing a huge gold belt around his waist¸ smiling. He’s shirtless and a little bloody in both, but still looks as handsome as ever. I don’t think it’s possible for him not to. “Do you miss it?” I ask, noticing him leaning against the wall behind me.

  “I miss the fights.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Not the fame or the lifestyle.”

  “What about the women?” I grin.

  “I’m done with that, too.” Stepping closer, he gives my heart a little jolt. God, this man sends mixed signals. “I’d say they go with the lifestyle.” He presses his lips into a tight line. “Come on.”

  I put on my flip-flops then follow him outside. We climb a winding staircase leading up to the rooftop. “Wow.” I look around, admiring the perfect little set up. There’s a table with two chairs and a hammock that’s cemented in place. There’s even a few potted plants scattered around in various spots, and they all look like they’ve been taken care of. “I never knew this was up here.” I watch him lay down the blanket, feeling the cool night air on my skin. “Do you come up here a lot?”

  “At night when it’s cool.” He lies back against the blanket, resting his head in his hands. “There’s nothing like a star-filled Arizona sky.” I walk over toward the blanket and sit in the spot where he pats beside him. “Sometimes I come up here to think … clear my head.”

  I lay back, taking the same position, looking up at the countless number of stars above. “It’s beautiful.” I stare in amazement. “I’m jealous you have this. It’s just so,” I pause, looking for the words. “So peaceful.”

  He doesn’t say anything for a minute. I figure it’s because he’s enjoying the silence. After lying there for a while he says, “Your lease is up in December, right?”

  I turn to face him. “Yeah, why?”

  “The place next door …” He looks at me. “I own it.”

  “You do?”

  He nods his head. “My tenants are moving out next month. It’s an exact replica of this one—two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a patio on the roof—there’s plenty of room. It’d be perfect for you.”

  I look away, facing the stars again. “That’s extremely kind of you to offer, but I don’t have the kind of money for something like this, and I can’t imagine having you as my landlord.” I give him a sideways glance. “No offense or anything.”

  “None taken.” I hear the smile in his voice before he adds, “What if I don’t want your money?”

  “Then I’ll take it!” I laugh.

  “I’m serious.” Judging by his tone, he is serious.

  I look at him pointedly. “What do you mean?” Because obviously I’m not quite understanding.

  “I mean, what if I give it to you?”

  I look at him like he’s crazy. Because … well, because he is. “Sorry, it’s just that, I don’t think I understand what you’re saying.” I sit up, leaning back on my elbows. “You would give me the condo next door, in exchange for nothing?”

  “Absolutely.” He grins. “I own it free and clear. I own the complex.”

  I blink a couple times. “All of these?” Not that there are a lot of them, but I’m just surprised.

  He nods.

  “How many are there?” I remember Pam telling me he invested his money in property, but I didn’t ask her to elaborate on the topic.

  “Five.”

  “That must have been expensive. These are nice. I mean really nice.”

  “I had the money to do it and figured if I invested in property, my rentals would supply a good income.”

  I smile. “That’s smart, Luke. I’m impressed.”

  He turns away and gazes straight up to the sky. It feels different lying out here next to him—like something has shifted between us. He reaches out and twirls a loose strand of my hair around his finger. “So, what do you say?”

  I shut my eyes and let out a shaky breath. “Why would you do this for me? I mean, God Luke! You confuse the hell out of me!” I bite my lip, eyeing him down while he rubs the new whiskers growing on his chin. He looks devastatingly sexy. I can barely stand it.

  “For several reasons.” He pauses. “None of them I feel like mentioning.” He slowly turns his gaze to mine then softly chuckles when my mouth drops.

  “Well, that’s fine. You don’t have to give me a reason, because I can’t accept your offer.” As tempting as it is, there’s just no way. I mean, really … a free condo? “Thank you though.”

  “You’ll change you’re mind.” He grins wickedly. “I knew you would say that, by the way.”

  I stare into his warm brown eyes before dropping my gaze to those perfectly sculpted lips. I mean, let’s be real here. I’m twenty years old, and the only lip action I’ve gotten was when I was too hammered to remember the details.

  “What are you thinking?” he asks, his eyes following the same pattern as mine.

  “About Lauren.” My cheeks feel hot. Yes, she was in the back of my mind, but no, I wasn’t planning on bringing her up … at least not yet.

  His brows bunch together. “What about Lauren?”

  Trying to figure out exactly how to word, but finally giving up, I say, “Shouldn’t you offer the place to her? Wouldn’t she be a little offended?”

  He cocks an eyebrow, and I continue to ramble as he watches me. “With you offering the place to someone other than her? A woman for that matter!”

  He sits up, scanning my face. “She might be if I didn’t already take care of that issue for her. And she seems pretty happy with what she’s got.”

  My heart sinks, and I take the rubber band off my arm, throwing my hair up, in order to distract myself. “Does she know I’m staying with you?”

  “No.” He reaches over and gently pulls the band out of my hair. “Leave it down.”

  I try my best to ignore what just happened, and from the look on his face, I’m guessing he is, too.

  Lying back down, he fixes his eyes on the stars and asks, “Why would I need to tell Lauren you’re here?”

  For some reason his question strikes a nerve. I may not know much about relationships, but I’m not stupid. “Hmm, let’s s
ee. Maybe because when you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s important to be honest with that person?” Narrowing my eyes, I ask, “Haven’t you ever heard of that before?”

  He cocks a brow. “You’re accusing me of being dishonest?”

  I hold out my hand. “Please, let me finish.”

  The corner of his mouth tips, making me want to punch him. Is he really laughing at me right now?

  “For someone as noble as yourself, you seem to be pretty clueless when it comes to women.” I lie back down, crossing my arms awkwardly, then turn and gaze at the stars. “And feelings!”

  “Oh really?” He chuckles playfully, but I don’t find it very funny.

  “Yes really,” I growl back.

  Before I can blink, my wrists are pinned above my head, and Luke is lying on top of me. “What …” I try to speak, breathless, with my heart hammering hard in my chest. “What are you doing?”

  He secures his body over mine so that our faces are close. “I’m going to make you listen.” A devilish grin stretches his face. My insides tingle in several different places. “And there isn’t anything you can do about it.” He slowly lifts his lashes, and those eyes pierce into mine. “I’ve been meaning to tell you.” He leans down and presses his lips against my skin, inhaling the space behind my ear. “Lauren isn’t my girlfriend.” He breathes, bringing goose bumps all over my flesh. “She’s my sister.”

  “She’s what?” I ask, panting. If he just said what I think he said, then I need to hear it again.

  He lifts his head to look at my face. “You heard me.”

  “Why would you do that?” I ask, surprised. “You knew I thought she was your girlfriend.”

  He pulls a hair out of my face. “At first I was going to tease you about it—mess with you a bit. I planned on eventually telling you, but … then I figured it was for the best.”

  “For the best?” I arch a brow, confused. “And now?”

  “Now I don’t know what to think.” He rolls off me, looking toward the sky.

  “If it’s for the best, then why did you tell me?”

  “My life …” he pauses. “It’s complicated. I didn’t want to subject you to it. You’re worth more than that.”

  “And now?”

  “I still don’t,” he says, watching me carefully. “But I’m not sure how much longer I can stay away.” His gaze falls to my lips then back to my eyes. “I’m trying. Honestly, I am.”

  “There’s still a lot about you that I don’t know.” We stayed beneath the stars for about an hour. Now, we’re stretched out on his bed with our backs against the headboard, stuffed after sharing a pizza.

  The corner of his mouth turns up. “What do you want to know?”

  “Everything.”

  He takes a deep breath then lets it all out. “I don’t have a favorite color, probably because I’m colorblind.”

  I arch an eyebrow, interrupting. “You’re colorblind?”

  “Yeah.” He shrugs.

  “Hmm.” I nod my head, thinking about his wardrobe selection—the mostly white, black, or gray t-shirts I usually see him in, then realize he’s waiting for me to give him the go ahead. “Sorry. Go on. What kind of music do you like?”

  He chuckles. “All types, but I have a few favorites.”

  “Give me two of your favorite bands?”

  “One of them is a given—Linkin Park,” he says pointedly, and I smile back, letting him know I agree. “They help me focus. I take it you agree.”

  “I do. In fact, they’re also one of my favorites.”

  He scratches his head. “Yeah, they have a pretty big fan base I guess. Fort Minor is another good one. It all depends on my mood … or where I am.”

  “So you like the harder stuff?”

  He cocks a brow, looking distracted. “What’s that?”

  “You mainly listen to the heavy stuff?”

  “When I’m training, but when I just want to chill I could go for pretty much anything.”

  “Who’s another one of your favorites?”

  He crosses his arms, looking up at the ceiling. “Coldplay.”

  I get up on my knees, excited. “No way!”

  His eyes sparkle as he tilts his head to the side. “Yes way.”

  “Do you have any idea how much I love them?” I ask, bouncing up and down like a twenty-year old child. He shakes his head back and forth, clearly amused by my enthusiasm.

  “I have been dying to see them in concert.” I grab his shoulders. “Every time they go on tour, something comes up, where I can’t afford the ticket. Did you know they’re performing here next month?” I say excitedly, placing my hands flat against his chest. There’s a shift in his eyes, and I’m suddenly aware of his fingers digging into my hips. My face heats when I realize, that I’m straddling him. “Oh my God,” I breathe.

  The corner of his mouth tilts in a slow, sexy grin, before his teeth gently bite down on his lip, and he grips me tighter.

  The heat in his eyes makes my heart pound like crazy, and I can barely find my voice. “I’m sorry,” I say, slowly climbing off of him. The smirk is back in place when his gaze drops to his pants.

  “Yeah, me too.” He laughs. My eyes follow, and I gulp at the huge tent that wasn’t there a minute ago. “I’m gonna need a cold shower,” he says.

  Feeling awkward during the silence, I ask, “Does it help?”

  He cocks a brow.

  “I mean with …” I point at his obvious erection.

  “Yes, it helps.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “I’m not going to make you say it.” My face reddens, embarrassed that I can’t say, “penis” or “erection” in front of him. He grabs a pillow and places it over his pants, and I quickly think of something to change the subject.

  “What are your biggest fears?”

  Laughing at my nervousness, he says, “My turn.” He reaches over and squeezes my thigh. “We’ll get back to me later.”

  “Fine.” I shrug. “I have nothing to hide.”

  He lays his head back against the headboard then turns his face toward mine, eyeing me playfully. “The other night when you attacked me …” He smirks.

  “Don’t even start, Ryann!” I elbow him in his side. “Believe me, it only happened because of the alcohol,” I lie. Gia’s always tells me I’m a terrible liar so I make sure not to look him in the eye.

  “I was teasing,” he says softly. “I like seeing you all riled up. But what I have to say, does have to do with the other night.”

  “Go on then.” I gesture with my hands, figuring he might as well lay it out there.

  Scratching his chin as he watches me carefully, he asks, “Do you remember telling me you’re a virgin?”

  I throw my head in my hands. “Do we really have to talk about this?” I mean come on! I get to learn about favorite colors and music, and he gets right to the virginity question? WTF?

  “So it’s true?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes. I am very much a virgin.”

  He removes my hands from my face and asks, “And you’re ashamed of this because?”

  “I’m not ashamed that I’m a virgin. I’m ashamed of my behavior the other night,” I sigh. “It’s a little embarrassing, that’s all.” He looks at me like he’s debating asking me more. “Go ahead. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  He pauses then asks, “Has anyone ever touched you?” He hesitates, “I don’t know everything that went down that day with Ronald, but I’m not talking about him, and it’s not my business. What I mean is, has anyone ever touched you … when you wanted it?”

  The mention of Ronald sort of ruined the moment for me, and I can’t believe he’s asking me this. But the truth is, because of Luke, Ronald didn’t touch me, and I’ll forever be grateful to him for it. As far as anyone after, I had no desire for that kind of intimacy, at least not until now. “Ugh, aren’t you supposed to be asking about my favorite color or what kind of movies I like?” I whine. “This is
seriously humiliating.”

  “I guess I find your virginity a lot more interesting, and you said you had nothing to hide.” He leans over and lightly tugs on my hair. “You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable.”

  “No, you’re right.” I nod. “I told you I had nothing to hide so I’m just going to come out and say it. It’s just hard to say the words out loud.” I look down at the duvet, making circles over the pattern with my fingers. The quiet makes me afraid to see his reaction once I answer. “I’ve never had a boyfriend or wanted any of the touching stuff you’re talking about. Are you happy now?” I lift my eyes to meet his, all humor washed away. There’s no way I’m going to tell him he was my first kiss.

  “Wow,” is all he says.

  “Yeah, wow,” I say back, then tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re confident, beautiful inside out, but you’ve never been touched. How is that even possible?” he asks, watching me carefully.

  My heart rate picks up. “I’ve never given anyone a chance.”

  “So that’s why you have a hard time saying penis?” A grin slides across his face then he holds up the pillow that was covering his lap, ready to block me.

  My cheeks heat. “You know what, Luke, your turn is officially over!”

  “What?” His brows lift. “It’s cute.”

  “Yeah, I bet.”

  “I swear it.” He runs a hand through his hair then climbs off the bed, surprising me. “I should take a shower.” I can’t help but stare as he takes off his shirt then quickly balls it up in his hands. “Can I get you anything?”

  I blink twice; entranced by his ripped chest, I then drop my eyes to his perfectly sculpted abs. “I’m good.”

  His eyebrows bunch together for a second. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then. Goodnight.” He flashes me a half grin then turns around and walks toward the door.

  My heart feels heavy. I don’t want him to leave. “Luke,” I call out, and he glances over his shoulder. “You can sleep in here.” I pat the spot next to me, still warm from where he left it. “I promise I won’t take off my clothes.” I frown at my own words the moment they leave my mouth.