Raising Ryann

by Alyssa Rae Taylor

  His eyes twinkle. “What about mine?”

  “Those are safe, too.”

  He stretches his arms at his sides, gripping the doorframe. “I’ve never slept with a woman in my bed before.” Cocking a brow, he continues, “And I’ve never slept with a virgin.” He chuckles. “Never mind.”

  “I trust you,” I say softly.

  “You shouldn’t.”

  “Well I do.”

  He throws his shirt over his shoulder and slowly walks away from me. “All right then, I’ll see you in a few. Get ready to cuddle.” I watch him go with a huge smile on my face.

  A few days of staying with Luke turned out to be a month. Although I finally got my car back, a maintenance man from the apartment complex called and told me it would take two weeks to get the new part they ordered before they could fix my air conditioner. They offered to put me up in a hotel, but Luke insisted I stay with him instead. Every time I look into those eyes I have a hard time saying no. Which brings me to my future living arrangements.

  Gia is really good at convincing me to do things I normally wouldn’t do. Not that they’re bad things—she just likes to take more risks, and I’ve always envied that about her. When I explained to Luke that I hadn’t told her about the condo, he decided to take matters into his own hands and tell her himself.

  “Are you crazy!” she yelled. “He offered you a condo, and you said no!” We were sitting in class as several students turned in our direction.

  “Would you keep it down?” I growl then glare at Luke, who’s openly grinning next to me.

  The conversation went on for days until Gia finally convinced me of all the fun we would have as roommates: decorating together, watching chick flicks, and of course, tormenting our handsome neighbor. That was two weeks ago, and every day since, Luke and I’ve been working, living, and sleeping together. And when I say sleeping, I mean sleeping. Not once has he tried to touch or kiss me, although the tension between us is hard to ignore. Sometimes I think I’m imagining it, wondering if I’m the only one that feels it. An accidental brush of our bodies, a lingering gaze, or the times when he tightens his jaw as if he’s about to say something, but stops himself, or even worse—walks away, leaving me confused. Why does he hold back? I’m tired of him holding back.

  I’ve been lying awake for the past ten minutes, but haven’t moved an inch. The upper part of my body is pressed against Luke’s hard chest. My left arm is wrapped around his waist. I think I might have even drooled a little, but what surprises me more is the large tan hand that’s resting securely on my butt. I have no recollection of how we got in this position, but I’m afraid if I move, I’ll wake him. The feel of his taught skin as he unknowingly holds me close is something I’d like to savor.

  The first night when he said we would cuddle, I fell asleep before he hopped back in bed. When I woke up a few hours later, I found him lying as far from me as possible. In fact, I’m surprised I didn’t find him on the floor. But every single night he’s been inching his way closer, and I stay in place, protecting my ego and my pride.

  My cell phone rings violently on the nightstand beside me. His fingers grip my ass before a soft snore escapes him. Letting out a quiet chuckle, I take a long hard look at his face. God, I want to kiss those lips, that mouth, his dimples …

  “Don’t Reese,” his gravelly voice mumbles, then he snores again, squeezing my butt even tighter. I bite back a giggle—glad I didn’t get caught. Could he possibly be dreaming about me? And how in the heck can he sleep through this noise? I watch his lips move.

  “Don’t beg. Please.” His eyebrows furrow together. “I already showed you earlier.”

  Don’t beg? What the hell? I scoot up a little closer, leaning my ear toward his mouth when his grip on my bottom increases.

  “I’ll flex one more time. That’s it.”

  My mouth drops before a grin slides across his face.

  “You faker!” I shout unable to hide the smile.

  He opens an eye, chuckling, and I pick up a pillow and whack him with it.

  “Are you enjoying yourself?” I look back at his hand.

  He fakes innocence. “I woke up, and it was already there; as for afterward, yeah I’m a guy.”

  My phone rings again, interrupting us, and I press a finger to my mouth, in an attempt to keep him quiet. “Hey Mom.”

  “I’ve called you at least ten times. Why aren’t you answering your phone?” she asks sternly. It’s obvious she’s a little pissed.

  Just when I’m about to give an excuse, Luke gets out of bed with a huge bulge in his pants, and I fail to pretend I didn’t see it. I swear, it’s like every morning he has a boner. Is that normal? I have no idea, but I’m definitely not asking him.

  “Reese?” my mom’s high pitch voice calls in the distance.

  “Yeah.” I close my mouth, realizing it’s still open.

  “Are you listening to me?”

  “Y-yeah Mom, I heard you.” I watch Luke’s shirtless body stride toward me, noticing some scars I hadn’t seen on him before. He cocks a brow, and my eyes follow as he makes his way to the bathroom. Good Lord, what is wrong with me?

  I clear my throat. “Sorry, I couldn’t get to it in time. That’s all.”

  “Well, it’s a good thing you finally answered. I have some news.”

  That got my attention. “You and Tim broke up?” I ask, a little too happily.

  “Oh no, nothing like that. It’s good news, actually. Tim and I are …” she pauses.

  “You and Tim are …” I try to move the conversation along before Luke says something in the background and she hears him.

  “Tim and I are moving out of state.”

  My heart sinks, and I fall back, letting my head hit the pillow. “What do you mean out of state? Like far away out of state?”

  “Yes!” she squeals.

  “How far?”

  “Very far. North Carolina far, to be exact.”

  I’m stunned silent, before I ask, “Why North Carolina?” I’m trying like hell to hold back the sudden rush of tears. “It’s on the other side of the country.”

  “Tim’s family is there, and he misses them. We both feel he needs to be closer.”

  “But he doesn’t have any children.”

  “He has his brother and his mother.”

  “I see,” my voice is clipped.

  “See, I knew you would.”

  “What about the money? How in the world can you to afford it?” It’s not like Tim has a bunch of cash lying around, and I know my mom doesn’t have any.

  “His mother’s going to help us. You know, until we get on our feet,” she says it as though the problem is solved. “There’s no need for you to worry, Reese.”

  “Uh huh.” Easy for you to say, Mom. “So when are you planning on leaving? I mean, how much longer do I have with you?” I wipe away an escaping tear.

  “Well … we’re leaving in a week.” She sighs. “And I’m going to be pretty busy until then, so let’s try and pick a time to schedule you in.” I pause, closing my eyes for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. “You still there?”

  “Yeah Mom. I’m just taking it all in.” I look around for Luke, noticing he’s nowhere in sight.

  “Oh, and I’m going to need you to come get the rest of your stuff anyway, otherwise we’ll have to dump it.”

  “Okay,” I say, wiping away the rest of my tears. “Maybe I can come by tomorrow.”

  “That’ll be perfect. Just call before you come.”

  “I will.” I take a deep breath. “I love you.”

  “Love you too, baby.”

  I squeeze the phone a little tighter. “Bye.”

  There’s a small knock at the bedroom door. “You okay?” Luke asks, still shirtless. His arms are raised above his head, as he grips the doorframe.

  “Yeah.” I give a weak smile, although having him here makes me feel better.

  “You want to talk about it?”

  Not want
ing to gawk, my eyes flick to the floor. “That was my mom.”

  “Yeah, I knew that.” He slowly steps closer to the bed. “What did she say?”

  “That she’s moving across the country to follow her asshole boyfriend.”

  There’s a pause before he asks, “Does he hit her?”

  “Who doesn’t?”

  The bed sinks beside me. “I’m sorry.”

  I bite hard on my lip, willing myself not to cry. “Who’s going to help her? Where’s she going to go?” My face falls in my hands. “What if he …”

  “It’s not yours to carry,” his voice is soothing as he reaches out, pulling me into a warm hug. “She’s a grown woman, Reese. You have to let her make her own choices.”

  “But what if those choices kill her.”

  “They’re still her choices. It’s a risk you’re going to have to take.” He pulls away and wipes the tears off my face. “I don’t like seeing you cry.”

  I’m sure the image he’s looking at isn’t pretty. My hair is most likely a mess, and I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet. “Sorry,” I remark. “I’m being a baby, aren’t I?”

  “I didn’t say that. I just don’t like seeing you hurt,” he answers sincerely.

  My eyes rest on the small scar below his bottom lip. Without even thinking, I reach out and run my thumb across it. He doesn’t back away or flinch. Instead, he watches me with careful eyes. “How did you get this scar?”

  He gives a half smirk then turns away. “A fight.”

  I can tell this is a touchy subject, but I grab a pillow and settle it into my lap, preparing to ask him more. “In the cage?”

  He lies on his back and stares at the ceiling. “In juvie.”

  I suck in a breath, trying to mask my shock. I don’t want him to think I’m judging him. “Why? I mean … what did you do?”

  He glances at me sideways. “Which time?”

  “You were there more than once?” Pam told me he had gotten into trouble, but I never imagined, this was the trouble she was talking about.

  “I was.”

  “For what?” My voice squeaks before I toss the pillow behind me.

  “Several things—drugs, stealing, fighting … you name it.” His head moves back and forth and his gaze looks far away. “I was a messed up kid, Reese. Still am.” Everything in his tone sounds final, and the pain behind it breaks my heart. Sure I’m surprised by his admission, but the boy he used to be is not the man he is now, not even close.

  I lie down next to him, hesitant about what to say. “You’re not that person anymore. You were young. You’re different now.”

  His eyes fall on mine. “What makes you so sure?”

  “Oh, I’m sure.” I reach for his hand. “It’s your past, Luke. I’m not judging you for it.”

  His eyes turn back toward the ceiling. “When did this become about me?” he replies. “I thought I was comforting you.”

  “You are. See? I’m already feeling better.” I give him the biggest smile I can muster. “Now, it’s your turn … and I’m curious.”

  He sighs, clearly not happy with this idea. “What do you want to know?”

  Everything, but it’s obvious he doesn’t like to share. “When was the last time you were arrested?”

  “Nine years ago.”

  “So you were sixteen?”

  “I was.”

  “That was three years before Ro— … before you saved me.” I squeeze his hand, not wanting to speak the name of my attempted rapist unless I have to. “I know I’ve told you this before, but I can never tell you enough. Thank you. If it wasn’t for you that night, I … I don’t know where I’d be today.” I swallow the lump in my throat as the memory plays vividly in my head.

  His jaw tightens. “I should have gotten there earlier; I should have shot the fucker.”

  “Stop it Luke. You did the right thing.” His eyes move to my face. Anyway, enough about him, tell me about the bad boy you used to be.” I wiggle my eyebrows to lighten the mood. “What was the last thing you were arrested for?”

  He cocks a brow like I’m insane, but finally says, “Drugs and armed robbery.”

  “Did you act alone? I mean … someone must have influenced you. Am I right?”

  “I make my own choices,” he finally says. “I’m responsible for myself.”

  “So you acted alone?” I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows.

  “No.”

  “Who was with you?”

  His head snaps in my direction. “What is this? Twenty questions?”

  “I told you, I want to know everything, even the parts you’re not proud of. It’s not going to make me think less of you.”

  “My father.” He runs a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. “I was with my father.”

  His answer catches me off guard. I knew his father wasn’t good to him but had no idea it was to this extreme. “Your father?” Unexpected tears prick the back of my eyes. “Where was your mother?”

  “My mother’s dead,” his voice is clipped, and my heart instantly drops to my stomach. He gives a dry laugh. “She asked me not to go, begged my father to keep me out of it, but I went, and that was the last time I saw her.”

  I’m speechless. The torment in his eyes is my undoing. “I … I don’t know what to say.” Warm tears rush down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Aw c’mon, Reese. Don’t cry.” He reaches over and brushes my tears with his thumb.

  “It’s just that I can tell you blame yourself. It’s not your fault.” I hiccup. “If anyone is to blame, it’s your father.”

  “See what I went and did?” He tips my chin then raises a brow.

  “You didn’t do anything.”

  “Look, can we change the subject? Today’s supposed to be a good day. I don’t want to ruin it with all this depressing talk.”

  I nod, even though there’s more I want to ask him, like how his mother died, and where was Lauren during all of this?

  “Good. You hungry?” He grins, and his face tells me the conversation is over.

  “Starving actually.”

  “Me too.” He makes his way over to the door and says, “Get dressed. I’ve got a place in mind.”

  Luke takes me to a bagel shop a couple of blocks away. We both order a plain bagel with cream cheese, and a much needed cup of coffee, before finding a seat on the patio. The weather is exceptionally cool for the middle of October, and we plan to enjoy it for as long as we can.

  “You excited about tonight?” he asks, taking the lid off his coffee, while he stirs in a packet of sugar. He’s wearing a white baseball cap turned backward, full dimples on display. A look that works well on him, then again everything works well on him.

  I arch an eyebrow, not having a clue what he’s talking about. “Excited?”

  He purses his lips. “Did you forget already?” He takes a bite of his bagel, watching as I search my brain for memory.

  Tilting my head to the side, I respond, “I guess I did.”

  “That hurts.”

  “What?” I ask, honestly confused.

  “I told you there’s somewhere I’m taking you tonight.” He lightly taps my knee with his. “It’s cool though.” He shrugs, teasing me.

  “I’m sorry.” I vaguely remember Luke asking if I had plans, but that’s about all my brain will give me. I lean back in my chair, giving him my full attention. “I guess I’ve been a little distracted.” Since the phone call with my mom, and the conversation he and I had earlier, it’s all I can think about.

  “You don’t need to apologize. I get it.” The corner of his mouth curves before he softly says, “I’ve got something that’s going to cheer you up.” His eyes sparkle as he bites down on his lip. I think you just did, I want to tell him. My curiosity is peaked when his smile widens and he says, “You are going to love me,” then takes the last bite of his bagel, eyes never leaving mine.

  “Okay, you’ve got my interest. Where are you ta
king us?” I can’t help but smile at the adorable expression on his face.

  He crosses his arms over his chest, grinning devilishly. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  I throw my napkin at him before finally finishing off my bagel, then grab our plates, and toss them in the garbage. “Let’s go then, Mr. Cocky; I need to shower and get ready.” All this talk is getting me excited.

  He turns his hat back around, pieces of his hair flipping out the bottom. “You have time. Concert doesn’t start ‘til seven.”

  I stop what I’m doing, and look at him pointedly, feeling a rush of adrenaline running through me. “Did you just say concert?” Please say that I heard him correctly.

  He gives me his amazing half smile as he confidently strides closer. By the look on his face, I’m not sure how much longer I can hold his gaze. Once the tips of our toes touch, he leans down, pressing his lips against my ear, making me shiver. “That’s what I said,” his silky voice is just above a whisper.

  My breathing picks up for two very different reasons. “You’re taking me to the Coldplay concert?” I’m surprised I’m even able to speak.

  “I am.” His eyes swirl with flecks of gold and brown.

  A huge grin I can’t contain stretches across my face. “You’re right.” I wrap my arms around him. “I do love you.”

  The water pressure here is heaven compared to my apartment. Luke took off to the grocery store, so I decided to enjoy the luxuries of one of his fancy showers. I’m in the second bathroom this time, surprised to see that both bathrooms are identical. They come with dual showerheads, are big enough to fit at least five, and even have a little loveseat where I can conveniently shave my legs. The walls and floors are covered in stone, bringing a nice touch to the rest of the modern look. Everything is so … well, nice. I guess it’s one of the perks of being a successful cage fighter. It’s funny how I never really watched the sport, always dreaming about Luke, wondering how he was, when all I needed to do was flip on the television. Would I have recognized him then? Would things be different between us? Speaking of … ugh, I set down my coconut body wash wondering what time it is? Thinking about our relationship could take days, and frankly, it’s exhausting.