A Mother to Love

by Gail Gaymer Martin

  “I’ll pray for it, too, Rick.”

  His eyes widened, and he drew her into his arms. “It’s wonderful to hear you say that, Ang.”

  “I’m a slow learner at some things but not hopeless.”

  Tension eased on his face and his lips turned into a faint grin. “You’re never hopeless.”

  He drew her closer, his eyes searching hers as his lips lowered to her mouth. She shuddered in his arms, though her concern remained heavy. Even the birthday party hadn’t lightened her thoughts, but it would. God’s will be done, but she sensed Carly would be there for her special day, and they could have a really joyful party.

  He eased back and brushed his fingers along her cheek. “Don’t worry, Angie. I trust that the best will happen if God is in charge.”

  She wanted to be as confident as he seemed, but she would pray knowing that with God all things were possible.

  He hugged her and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you later.”

  She nodded and grasped the door handle as the bell chimed. A frown interfered with her moment of contentment. “I suppose I have to answer.”

  “I’m leaving anyway, so the door has to open unless I sneak out the back.”

  The bell rang again, and she pulled open the door. Her heart rose to her throat. “Birdie. Hello.” Though Birdie was an older woman, short and somewhat trim with a larger bosom, Angie could see a hint of youthful good looks. Yet today her puckered expression gave her face a shriveled look.

  Rick eased past Birdie, who stood as close to the opening as she could get. “Excuse me. I’ll let you ladies talk.” He gave a wave and a sympathetic glance that Birdie couldn’t see. “I’ll see you later.”

  She stood a moment caught in a whir of confusion before returning to Birdie. “Come in.” She pushed the door farther open. Although Birdie hesitated, she stepped inside while Angie faced the situation. She’d put off the visit and today Birdie had come to her door. She motioned her to the living room. “Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”

  “No, this isn’t a social call.” Birdie gave her a haughty look blended with a hint of curiosity. “That man is still hanging around, I see.” She shook her head, her tight gray curls giving a slight bounce. “Apparently you don’t heed anyone’s advice.”

  “I don’t recall any advice, Birdie. Remember Rick and I are good friends, and the woman you told me about was his sister. I met her. She’s very nice. I wish you could have met her, too.” Slight exaggeration, but she’d said it in the name of being positive with the woman.

  “Why would I want to meet her?”

  Angie shrugged. “You seemed interested in her the day you saw her with Rick. I thought perhaps you’d like to tell her how pretty you think she is.”

  Birdie’s startled expression took a moment to fade. “Well, that’s not the reason I came here.”

  “Oh.” She managed a smile. “Do you want to tell me why, then?”

  “You were snooping around my house. Someone told me.”

  “Snooping?” She managed a smile. “Not quite. I came over with some homemade cookies I’d baked and thought I would share some with you since I admire how you keep a watch over the neighborhood.” Oh, Lord, forgive me for another exaggeration.

  “Cookies for me?” She faltered back a step. “But...”

  “Maybe you don’t know how nice it is to have someone keeping watch as you do. I assumed you were being a thoughtful neighbor.” The more she talked, the greater her guilt. “Or are you looking outside for some other reason?”

  Birdie looked at her, speechless. She finally relaxed her jaw. “I’m...curious.”

  “Curiosity is a good quality when you’re doing it for the good of the neighborhood. The Lord tells us to watch over each other and to help people without receiving a reward because our reward will be in heaven.”

  Birdie flashed a questioning look. “I’m not a churchy person. My family didn’t attend.”

  “Believing is the most important, Birdie, living your life for the good of others. I know sometimes people are...” Angie feared treading where she was headed. “Sometimes people are lonely and so they struggle with others’ happiness. But no one finds happiness that way. Happiness comes from inside and from reaching out to others and following the Golden Rule. ‘Do to others as you would have them do to you.’”

  Birdie’s face puckered as if she were trying to swallow a hunk of tough meat.

  “You’ve heard that before, haven’t you?”

  She nodded.

  “So thank you for your watchfulness.” She took a step toward the kitchen. “I saved your cookies. They’re in the freezer, but they’re still good.” She hurried away, catching her breath and praying the Lord had guided her words. She grasped the container, found a plastic grocery bag and slipped it in and then returned to the living room. “I hope you like snickerdoodles.” She extended the bag.

  “Don’t know as I’ve ever had them.” Birdie eyed the bag a moment before accepting it. “I’ve never had anyone give me cookies.”

  “Then it’s about time.” Angie smiled and waited.

  Birdie held the sack in her hand as if waiting for it to do something.

  Angie scuffled to break the silence. “You know who likes cookies? Mr. Barnes. El. He lives across the street.”

  Birdie nodded. “He’s civil.”

  “El is a wonderful man. Has nothing but nice things to say about people. He mentioned how you look out for the neighborhood.”

  “He did?” A dubious look spread across her face. “I—” Faltering, Birdie seemed at a loss for words. “Sorry I said you were snooping. I guess you’d come with the cookies.”

  “I had, but no harm.” She took a step toward the door. “Thank you for dropping by. I hope you enjoy the cookies.”

  “I will.” She took the hint and headed outside. “Maybe I should buy some for... No, I should bake some for Mr. Barnes.”

  “That would be lovely. El would appreciate that. He misses his wife even though she’s been gone awhile.”

  “Life can be lonely.” Her head bobbed as she made her way to the sidewalk, and before turning, she paused and looked back. “Have you met our new neighbor?”

  “No. Have you?”

  “Not much happening down there. She seems to keep to herself. I’ve only seen her outside when she’s getting into her car.” She paused and pressed her lips together. “Maybe she has a lonely life, too.”

  “Maybe she does, Birdie.” She watched Birdie turn away with a thoughtful look on her face and continue toward her house.

  Angie gave a relieved sigh. She had no idea what she’d said to the woman, but Birdie’s attitude had taken a one hundred and eighty degree turn for the better. Yes, it would take work, but it was work for everyone to change. Birdie was a work in progress. Angie stood a moment watching the woman meander down the sidewalk before she stepped inside, her mind turning again to Rick and his struggle. If only she had the right words to help him. The right words? Her own struggle ballooned in her mind. She needed the right words to admit her sinful past and to beg Rick’s forgiveness. The Lord forgave her. She’d learned that. But she still didn’t trust human nature to forgive. Rick’s nature was to put the best result on everything. He’d dealt with his personal difficulties without giving up and while looking for the best solution. She could do that if he really loved her. She sensed he did. She had one hope, to put it in God’s hands. The only thing she could do was pray. Though still new at it, it was the best answer.

  * * *

  Rick bounded up Angie’s steps and gave a knock before trying the door. It opened, and he leaned inside. “Angie, it’s me.”

  “Come in, Me.” She came through the archway with a grin. “You sound a little more relaxed.”

  He arched his brow
s. “I’m trying to be positive. While I was home, the rep called. She has an appointment tomorrow evening with Carly at Glenda’s.”

  Angie’s smile faded. “Worried?”

  “I have no idea what will happen.” He sank onto the sofa cushion. “If Carly tells the truth, I have nothing to worry about, but if Glenda says something that causes Carly to be afraid to admit her feelings, then I am worried.” He exhaled, longing to take a full breath. He’d felt stifled since their earlier meeting. “I keep reminding myself that Glenda feels as I do. We both want our daughter with us. I guess we’re both a little selfish, but I’ve tried to be fair, Angie. I’ve tried.”

  She settled beside him. “You’re a good dad, Rick. Don’t start doubting yourself. I think if this had been a regular vacation, you—”

  “I told Mrs. Turner that. I wouldn’t have been thrilled, but I would have agreed to the trip. I wouldn’t deprive Carly of an exciting vacation even if she is only five. She’s a smart five, and by the time she leaves, she’ll be six.”

  Angie gave him a tender smile. “After her birthday, I’ll miss her little reminder, won’t you?”

  He managed to grin back. “She’ll remind us she’s almost seven once she’s six.” He brushed Angie’s soft cheek, longing to dislodge all his cares and revel in the amazing sensation he felt when she was in his arms.

  “The problem is this is a business trip.” Angie rested her head on his shoulder. “That’s not a fun time for Carly. I’m sure she would be unhappy surrounded by strangers all day long.”

  He nodded, grateful she understood and wishing Glenda could see it that way.

  “I know you’re worried, Rick.” She touched his cheek. “You’ll know more tomorrow night.”

  His energy depleted, he managed a nod. He closed his eyes, wanting to sleep until the report came as to what Mrs. Turner would recommend. Sleep would make the time pass, and he wouldn’t spend the waiting hours worrying.

  His hopes and dreams for the future hit him head-on. What did he have to offer Angie? Nothing. This kind of life would plague him until Carly was of age. Maybe after that, too. He had no idea if Angie would accept a lifetime dealing with Glenda’s wants and his excessive child support. Though he didn’t begrudge the money for Carly, he resented paying so much when Glenda made far more money than he did. His thoughts buzzed like bees along with an occasional sting.

  “You remember when Birdie arrived as you were leaving. Guess what happened?”

  Pulling himself out of his doldrums, Rick opened his eyes. “In all this mess, I forgot.” He shook his head, relieved Angie had dragged him from his negativity. “What happened?”

  “I thanked her for being a watchful neighbor, one we could count on to see any problems in the neighborhood.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Birdie looked as startled as you do.”

  He chuckled. “You have to admit it was an interesting approach.”

  “But there’s truth to it. If anyone tried to break in, Birdie would call 911 in a flash.”

  “I suppose she would.” He listened while she described the conversation with Birdie. He was astounded at the faith Angie reflected in her comments. It inspired his sagging spirit.

  “Birdie had a bounce to her step when she left. I know she won’t change overnight, but I can hope it’s a beginning.”

  “It’s great, Ang. And we know that hope is a wonderful gift.”

  Her expression became serious. “I didn’t have much hope before I really got to know you. Spending time with Carly, her perfect innocence, reminded me that as children we trust and hope for even the most impossible dream, believing it might come true.”

  “And they can, can’t they?” He slipped his arm around her shoulders and drew her close, dodging his negative thoughts. “I have hopes and a dream, Angie. Three people are in that dream.”

  Her brow wrinkled. “Three?”

  “Carly...and you with me. I dream we’re a happy family, the forever kind.”

  She pressed her lips together, and he sensed she was about to weep. Instead she gazed into his eyes as her lips curved to a faint grin. “I have the same dream, Rick.”

  “You do?” He studied her while his pulse charged through his body.

  “I do. Really. We have so much to talk about. Yes, we have problems to deal with, but they’re not hopeless. We can overcome anything if we—”

  “Care enough? And I think we do when I hear what you’re saying.”

  She tilted her head, her eyes searching his. “I wish we had time to talk about it, but I’d like to wait and deal with the travel issue first. We both are thinking of that. Once we have the answer, we can enjoy sharing each other’s hopes and dreams. I’m positive this will have a happy ending.”

  “How can you be positive?” She amazed him with her change in attitude.

  “I did what you told me. Trust and let it go.” She waited a moment as if in thought. “We have to do that, Rick.” She drew herself upward. “Instead, let’s plan Carly’s birthday.” She chucked him under the chin. “It can be here in the yard if we have good weather. We can have our families, Kimmy and Doug, if he wants to come. I might even invite El. I think that would make him happy.”

  “If you tell me you’re inviting Birdie, I know you’ve gone off the deep end.” He gave a full smile as her spirit renewed his.

  “I don’t think I’ll go that far.” She hopped up. “Let’s do something. Get away for a while. Run, laugh. I don’t care, anything that will help us feel wonderful and refreshed.”

  He rose beside her. “I have an idea.”

  “What is it?”

  Though a phantom barrier remained between them, he drew her into his arms, his heart filled with love, his pulse racing as if he’d won a marathon. His lips met hers, his worries and doubts faded and happiness replaced all the negative thoughts he’d had. Angie would tell him eventually what blocked her admission of love. He believed it with all of his heart, and he would understand. Angie was right. Being strong and positive would get them both further than dragging their dreams in the mud.

  Angie clung to him, her mouth moving beneath his, her heart beating in rhythm with his own, and he knew they would make it. He only had to have trust and hope. And pray.

  * * *

  Angie sat at her usual table in the company lunchroom, her focus on the door. Every time the handle turned, her heart rose to her throat. Another disappointment. An unwanted truth slipped over her imagining a day when Rick would come through the door a stranger. Her fear of another truth—her honesty—spread through her. Courage. That was all she needed. If their relationship was meant to be, her past would be gone and blessed with an amazing life with Rick.

  She heard the door open, and this time she smiled from her heart as Rick stepped in. When she saw his expression, however, her smile faded.

  He didn’t head to the refrigerator as usual. Instead he plopped beside her and shook his head. “It’s going before a judge.”

  “Rick, no. What happened?” The food she’d eaten wadded into a ball in her stomach.

  “Apparently, Glenda wants the attorneys involved. She thinks Carly is saying what I want her to say.”

  “What did Mrs. Turner say? Does she agree?”

  He dropped his face in his hands and massaged his forehead. “Who knows?”

  Her jaw sagged hearing the tone of his voice. “The rep must have said something.”

  Rick lowered his hands and raised his head, his jaw tight. “She has to stay noncommittal. It’s part of her job. She can only propose a solution, and if the parties won’t agree with her advice, her only choice is to recommend it go through our attorneys to the judge.”

  “Do you know what she suggested?” She pressed her lips together, controlling the urge to c
ry.

  “I can guess. If she’d agreed that Carly should go to Europe, Glenda would have agreed with her decision. She didn’t, so that answers the question.”

  She nodded, aware her heart had got tangled in her own desire. “Obviously. I should have seen that.” She let his message sink in and tried to sort out what might happen now. “Do you have a date or know when?”

  “We have to contact our attorneys. They’ll set the date and let us know. I’m sure Glenda is pushing for action since she’s going to have to jump through hoops to get Carly’s passport in time to go if the court agrees with her.”

  Angie thought about praying that the date was delayed so she didn’t have time to pursue Carly’s passport, but prayers weren’t to be selfish. She knew that much. She could only pray God’s will and hers were the same.

  “I called my attorney this morning. He knows the details, and he’ll get the rest from Mrs. Turner. I’m sure it will be soon.”

  She glided her hand toward his and then stopped herself, noticing a table of coworkers was watching them. A desire to follow through with her action rose, but she squelched it, unwilling to add another problem to Rick’s life or hers. “Then we wait. And pray.”

  A gentle smile touched his mouth.

  She motioned to the refrigerator. “You’d better try to eat something before you get sick.”

  He lifted his shoulders. “I don’t know if I can.”

  “Try. We have a battle to win, and you have to stay strong and healthy.” She struggled to keep from taking him into her arms and kissing away his fear.

  His eyes said the same, but they could take no more chances than they’d already taken at work. People were speculating about their relationship, but it couldn’t go further than that. Sealing the temptation to even touch him, she tilted her head, and his quick nod said he understood.

  * * *

  Angie couldn’t let go of Rick’s situation. She’d spent the day at work distracted, and now that she’d got home, she checked her cell phone every twenty minutes to make sure Rick hadn’t called and she’d missed it somehow. Every time she heard a car on the road she jumped to the window, only to be disappointed.