A Mother to Love

by Gail Gaymer Martin

  “I like Owosso. This is where I live.”

  He drew her into his arms. “I like you in Owosso, too, Carly, but your mom thinks you’ll have new experiences and—”

  “I can have new speriences when I’m seven. Okay, Daddy?”

  Despite his sorrow, he grinned. “Seven sounds good to me.”

  She hugged him tightly and buried her head in his arm. “Tell her.” Her head tilted upward, her eyes pleading. “Okay?”

  A ragged breath ripped from his body. “Carly, you need to talk to your mom.” He kissed her cheek. “It’s time for bed, but I’ll come in with you if you like, and we can say your prayers.”

  She gave a slow nod. His heart rending, he lifted her in his arms and carried her to her bedroom. Tonight wasn’t the time to worry about the kiss and what she might say to her mother. He had more important things to worry about, and his daughter was number one.

  * * *

  Angie stared at the fresh batch of snickerdoodle cookies and bit the inside of her lip. Rick planned to talk with Glenda today while Carly was at day care, and she feared the worst. She’d paced since she’d arrived home from work, and to waste time, she’d decided to bake cookies. The cookie idea had struck her as a reason to visit Birdie, but the more she thought about it, the more she preferred something less concocted than cookies. Nothing struck her. Her stomach fell and rose as if inside a plunging elevator. She sank into the closest kitchen chair.

  Instead of the baked goods for Birdie, perhaps it would be wiser to stop at El’s, give him the treat and beg out of the task. She lowered her head, tried to make sense of her discomfort. When she thought about it, she didn’t remember ever seeing company at Birdie’s. The woman was lonely. Enough of her excuses.

  She steeled herself, grasped the container and forced herself out the door. Before she reached the sidewalk, Rema waved to her. She stopped and waited for Rema to cross the street.

  “Did you notice our new neighbor moved in?”

  Angie glanced down the street and spotted a car in the driveway.

  “I think she’s single. I didn’t notice a man other than a few who helped her move, but it looked as if no one stayed.” Rema widened her eyes. “Sorry. I sound like Birdie.”

  Aware of her cookie container, Angie didn’t know how to respond. She should tell her where she was headed, but with Rema’s comment, she’d probably make her feel bad. She smiled and kept her mouth shut.

  “Looks like you have another goody supply for Mr. Barnes.” Rema motioned to the container.

  Angie winced, cornered whether she wanted to be or not. Part of her longed to nod and let Rema think that was where she was going, but that would be untrue. “Not this time. Believe it or not, I’m going to Birdie’s.”

  “Birdie’s.” She staggered back a step. “You’re kidding. Why?”

  El’s request faltered on her lips. “She’s lonely, and I thought maybe—”

  “A lot of us are lonely, Angie, but we’re not vicious.”

  “I know.” Scripture flew through her head, but she wasn’t comfortable quoting the Bible. Not yet. She squirmed under Rema’s questioning eyes. “El thinks she doesn’t like herself very well.” She held up her hand. “I know. We understand why she shouldn’t like herself, but maybe something can break through her hurtful gossip.”

  “You really think so?” Rema’s frown deepened. “She latched on to me last week with concocted tales.” She faltered and looked away. “She might be right.” She raised her head and shrugged. “Most likely she is, but it’s not her business.”

  Angie worked to understand Rema’s cryptic discussion. “What concocted tales?”

  “Can’t you guess?” She drew in a ragged breath. “After my serious discussion with Trey, Birdie said she saw him out with a woman. I don’t see her go anywhere, so where would she have been?”

  “Do you remember when Birdie told me the same thing about Rick? She’d been to dinner with her cousin and saw him with a woman.” Angie faltered, realizing she hadn’t talked with Rema since his sister’s visit.

  Rema shrugged. “You didn’t tell me about that, and I’m glad it was only her misjudgments. But in my case, that’s what I’ve always told myself, Angie, but I saw him. Remember? Each day the truth becomes clearer. I’ve confronted him once. His promises are empty, and I’ve waited long enough. He’s stifled me from living my own life while he’s out carousing. He doesn’t want me to work. I know why. Because then I’d be independent. This way he thinks I’m trapped. He tells me not to join the ladies’ clubs because they’re all gossip groups. Now I realize what he fears. Someone might have seen him out with a woman and knows he’s running around. He’s concerned I’ll find out. I’m his convenient housekeeper.”

  Fighting to keep her jaw from sagging, Angie listened without response. “I wish I had the answer, Rema, but this is a decision you have to make on your own.”

  “I have the answer, Angie. Finally. I’m not going to live this way. I’m alone anyway, and it’s time I gained some pride and confidence instead of living the life of a cleaning lady.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “That’s what I feel like.”

  Angie rested her hand on Rema’s shoulder, wanting to hug her, but she could only guess that Birdie was at the window creating a new tale to spread. “Have you seen a counselor or—”

  “I talked with an attorney. It’s too late for counseling. Trey wouldn’t be willing to go with me and going alone isn’t what I need. I see things clearly now. I’m tired of fooling myself and giving him second chances.” She brushed the last of the tears from her eyes. “I don’t even love him anymore. I try but I can’t.”

  Angie gave her shoulder a squeeze. “If you need an ear, Rema, please call on me. We all need listeners. It’s lonely talking to ourselves.”

  A faint grin touched Rema’s lips. “That’s true. Thanks.”

  Seeing Rema’s desperation, she gave her a quick hug and backed away.

  Rema’s eyes welled with tears. “You’d better go. I know you’re on a mission.” She tilted her head toward Birdie’s. “Good luck. If anyone can save the world, you can, Angie, but don’t ask me to help. I don’t have the energy.”

  Angie could only nod. She wiggled her fingers in a wave and trekked down the street, her mind shifting to Rick, an amazing man whom she trusted without question. If only Rema could have a love like that.

  Love. Her pulse hitched. Their friendship had become a deep kinship that had grown and bound them together. Yes, her job could be in jeopardy, but she didn’t care. She would deal with her company’s antiquated rule when the time came. If she could speak from her heart and admit her sins, with Rick’s forgiveness, she would open the door to the love and life she wanted with Rick and Carly.

  As she neared Birdie’s house, Bible verses came to mind. Even if she followed the scripture, she couldn’t earn her way to heaven. But at least she hoped to honor El’s strong faith. She glanced across the street at his house and released a pent-up breath as she faced her mission. No one ever said being a Christian was easy.

  With all the fortitude she could muster, she walked up the sidewalk to Birdie’s porch and rang the bell. She waited, shifting her feet and clutching the container. Deciding the bell might be broken, she knocked and waited.

  After a minute and another knock, she lowered her shoulders, easing the kinks between her shoulder blades. “I tried, Lord. Thank You for the reprieve.” After waiting a moment longer, she bounded down the steps and headed home, eager to talk with Rick.

  When she walked into the house, she set the cookies in the kitchen, telling herself she would take care of the Birdie situation another day. She checked the time and sent a text message to Rick, hoping she wasn’t catching him at a bad time. When no response came, she guessed he was still busy.

  Instead of brooding, she grabbed a di
et pop and stepped onto the back porch. Her flower beds were flourishing. Though the lilacs had faded and died, the roses now took their place with delicate beauty. The flowers Carly had helped plant were thriving, too, but so were the weeds. She curled her nose.

  She set her drink and cell phone on the edge of the porch and slipped into the garage for a small trash bag and her garden gloves. Starting with the annuals, she weaved her way through the plants, plucked out the fast-growing weeds and dropped them into the plastic bag. Perspiration beaded on her forehead, and she brushed it away before stepping back to view her work. Not bad.

  Moving to the roses, she was pleased to see only a few weeds had sneaked into the mulch. She bent down and jerked a couple from the ground as a shadow fell across her. Lurching around, her heart skipped. “Rick. I texted you a short time ago and—”

  “I was on my way here.” He drew her into his arms and let out a chuckle. “Nice effect.”

  She couldn’t quite decipher what he meant.

  He touched her forehead. “You have an earthy decoration right here.”

  Grinning, she turned the dirty glove to the back and rubbed it across her brow. “Better?”

  He nodded and kissed her forehead. “I assume you were wondering how the talk went.”

  “You assumed right. What happened?” She pulled off her gloves, took his hand and led him back to the porch, where she took a seat.

  He sank into one of the chairs and gave a heave. “Not great. I’m sure you expected that.”

  “But I hoped I was wrong.” Though disappointed, she now grew sad seeing his concern. “I’m sorry, Rick. What’s the outcome?”

  “First she accused me of putting ideas in Carly’s head.”

  “You would never do that.” Her pulse escalated. “Why would she say that?”

  “She wants to blame someone other than Carly, and I’m the logical cause. Apparently Carly asked her why she had to go to Europe. I suppose she gave her the same arguments she gave me.” He shook his head, releasing a jagged breath. “It’s breaking my heart, Ang.”

  “I know.” She wove her fingers through his. “No matter what she says, Glenda has to know better.”

  “Maybe.” He shook his head again. “Carly’s too smart for her age.” He gave her the first grin she’d seen from him. “Since she can’t get beyond her desire not to go, our next step is the representative from Friend of the Court.”

  “Does that concern you? I know you would have liked to settle this with Glenda.”

  “She’s jumping for her attorney to get involved. She knows courts lean toward the mother, but I have to trust that someone will make sense of the situation and listen to Carly.”

  “But you didn’t want her to get involved, Rick. That would mean—”

  “I know.” He looked defeated.

  “If it’s the only way, then let them talk to her. She’s honest and they’ll learn the truth.”

  “Glenda’s pushing for action. Her trip is getting close.”

  “Getting a passport for Carly would be tricky.” She rose and beckoned him to follow her inside. She went through the door, and when she stepped in, she fell into his arms, allowing her own feelings to release. They stood in silence for a time until Rick tilted her head upward. “I never thought I would find someone like you, Angie. Never in a million years.”

  He lowered his lips to hers, and the hunger in her stomach could not compete with the depth of her longing to let him know how she felt. But she couldn’t until she told him the truth. “I’m a woman who has always loved her independence, who never thought she would be a wife or mother, but being with you has changed me.” She gazed into his eyes. “I want to be a new me, Rick, and I’m getting there. I just need a little more time.”

  Though a flicker of disappointment reflected in his eyes, their lips met again, and this time she felt the nudge of complete happiness and the feeling of hope.

  Chapter Eleven

  “That’s not accurate, Mrs. Turner.” Sitting in a small sterile office at Friend of the Court, Rick fought to maintain calm. “Carly asked me to talk with her mother, and I told her she should tell her mother how she felt. I would not coerce my child. She’s upset enough.”

  Glenda leaned forward and slapped her palm against the tabletop. “She’s upset because you’re coaching her.”

  “Mrs. Jameson, please remain calm. I’m trying to get a picture of what you want and what Mr. Jameson wants.”

  Rick wanted out of there. He’d been hammered by Glenda’s acerbic comments since they’d arrived. As with all her accusations, blaming him for Carly’s desire to stay home from Germany was a fabrication.

  “If you can’t come to an agreement my hands are tied. I will suggest that this goes to court for a judgment. I’m not the law here. I’m your Friend of the Court representative for resolving issues without attorneys.”

  Rick’s head drooped forward. “Please, Glenda, can’t we resolve this without Carly being dragged into court? Neither one of us wants that.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t want it because Carly will tell the judge the truth. She’ll admit that you told her what to say.”

  He tossed his hands into the air, unable to fathom her degree of determination. Though tempted to give up rather than make Carly be part of the ridiculous disagreement, he let the option drop. Carly’s sad face rose in his mind, and he could still hear her pleading for him to explain to her mother why she didn’t want to go.

  Releasing a deep sigh, he studied the rep from Friend of the Court and prayed she hadn’t believed Glenda’s accusations. “Mrs. Turner, would it be possible for you to talk with Carly and perhaps come to a decision that way?”

  The representative pressed her lips together, her eyes sweeping from him to Glenda. “Can I have an agreement from both of you on this?”

  “Only if you talk with her at my home.” Glenda’s pitched voice gave away her attempt to control her anger.

  “That’s fine.” Rick’s concern about Glenda’s pressure rose, but he knew his daughter. “Carly would be truthful no matter which home.”

  Mrs. Turner studied him a moment and then Glenda. “Let me call you in a day or two, and hopefully we can set up a visit. I will speak only with Carly. That means alone.”

  Glenda huffed, but didn’t argue. “Can you do this quickly? I have to leave soon, and I need to obtain Carly’s passport.” She turned her head slowly toward him. “My former husband has been unwilling to sign the document.”

  Rick kept his voice level. “Since I’m responding on Carly’s wishes, Glenda, I haven’t signed it. If Carly decides she wants to go with you, I will sign it whether I personally want to or not. And you know if this were a vacation we would be dealing with a different situation. You’re going to Germany to work. Carly will be cared for by strangers for much of the day.”

  “Let’s stop here.” Mrs. Turner stood. “I need to check my schedule, and I will call you, Mrs. Jameson. I don’t work on your time schedule. I work on mine.”

  Rick rose and extended his hand. “Thank you. I think speaking with Carly in her mother’s home will be less frightening for her than in a courtroom.”

  “You’re welcome, Mr. Jameson.” She gave a nod and turned her attention to Glenda, who finally stood. “I’ll call as quickly as I can.”

  Glenda gave a halfhearted nod and grasped her handbag. “I hope so.” She turned, opened the door and left.

  His eyebrows shot upward, and he tugged them down. “Thanks again.” He slid his chair back into place and strode from the room, his heart in his throat. If Mrs. Turner had any sense of right or wrong, she would see where the fault lay. He knew he wasn’t perfect. He made tons of mistakes, but he loved his daughter more than himself. How could he agree to let her go when she said she wanted to stay home?

 
* * *

  Angie’s stomach knotted when she spotted Rick pulling into the driveway. His scowl showed through the windshield, and she guessed the result of the meeting. “What happened?” She pushed the door open, fearing he’d feel worse if she told him the whole story about herself. Burying her fear, she stood back to let him in. Her stomach knotted, her imagination twisting the two fears into hopelessness. “I can see you’re not happy.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair and sank into the nearest chair. “Not very, although I did get a small option of hope.”

  She settled across from him and listened to a review of the meeting, her heart drawn into a whirlpool of despair. “So what happens now?”

  “I suggested before court action Mrs. Turner, the Friend of the Court rep, talk with Carly to hear what she wants from her lips rather than mine or her mother’s.”

  A wave of optimism washed through her. “And she will?”

  He shrugged. “She’ll call Glenda to make arrangements. Glenda wanted it at her house.”

  “So she can coerce Carly, I suppose.”

  Rick lowered his head, his response a mumble. “I hope not. She loves Carly despite her forceful manner. I’d like to think she’ll let that override her own desire to win.”

  Angie wished she had the same confidence, but then, she didn’t really know Glenda at all. Her opinion was based on her own interpretation of the woman’s actions. “I hope you’re right. Let me get you a drink. Something cold?”

  His deep sigh swept into his response. “No, thanks. I need to do some grocery shopping and a few things around the place. I’ll come back later if that’s okay.”

  “You know it’s okay. I wanted to talk with you about Carly’s birthday.”

  His head shot up. “Can you believe I almost forgot about that with everything else on my mind?”

  “But I didn’t. I want to give her a surprise party...just to cheer her a little. She’s looked stressed for a child and that breaks my heart.”

  He rose and took her hands. “Mine, too. I hope Glenda really looks at her and sees the reality of her decision.”