Forever and Always

by Beverley Hollowed

  “Flight is at eight” Simon replied as he poured the coffees. “Then it’s three days in Barcelona, plenty of sun, sangria and golf”.

  When they were finished their coffee’s Lucy helped Melanie clear up after the dinner and left the men chatting about sports.

  “That wasn’t so bad” Lucy said as they both loaded the dish washer. “Sam is a nice guy, maybe he just wants to be friends”.

  “Maybe” Melanie replied. She was tired and really wasn’t up to another deep and meaningful conversation.

  “You sure you are ok Mel” Lucy asked regarding her friend with concerned eyes.

  “Yeah I am just tired” Melanie lied and smiled.

  “Well thanks for a great night” Lucy said and hugged her friend tightly before she turned to James and called. “Come on Mr Malone, bring me home and take me to bed or I won’t be dropping you to the airport tomorrow”.

  James stood up and laughed. He thanked Melanie for a lovely evening and gave her a warm hug. Melanie knew the hug meant more than just thank you. It was also a take care hug and Melanie felt very grateful. And they headed towards the door.

  “You know I think I will head off too” Melanie said much to Simon surprise.

  “You’re leaving” he asks, his surprised very clear in his voice.

  “I’m not feeling great” Melanie explained. The truth was she didn’t know how she was feeling right at that moment and she needed time to think. She needed time to herself. “If I am coming down with something I don’t want to let you catch it and ruin your stag weekend. Best I go home and sleep whatever it is off”.

  “Well if you are sure” he said unable to hide his disappointment. He kissed her softly on the lips aware they had an audience. “But how will you get home, you’ve been drinking?”

  “She can share a taxi with us” Lucy said happily.

  “Don’t be silly” Melanie said to her friend. “That would take you miles out of your way. I will be fine in a taxi on my own”.

  “You could share with me” Sam said suddenly from where he had been standing watching with interest what was going on. “I would be happy to drop you home, I am going that way and I will make sure you get home safe and sound”.

  Melanie stared at him in disbelief. She wanted to say he didn’t even know where she lived but before she could get a word out Simon start talking.

  “Thanks Sam” Simon said with a grateful smile on his face. Then he turns back to Melanie. “There, all sorted”.

  Five minutes later Melanie was climbing into the back of a taxi, followed closely by Sam. Pulling the door closed behind him he looked over at her and smiled.

  “This is not going to end well” Melanie thought to herself as the taxi moved away from the curb and headed out into the late summers night.

  Chapter 16When they reached Melanie’s apartment, Melanie was surprised when Sam climbed out of the car too.

  “Eh…where do you think you are going?” Melanie asked abruptly.

  “I told Simon I would make sure you got home safe and sound” Sam said as he leaned in to pay the taxi driver. Then before Melanie could say another word the car pulled away from the curb and left them alone on the side of the road.

  “Come on” he said taking Melanie’s hand and walking towards the front door of the red brick building in front of them. “I will walk you to your door”.

  “I can make it to my apartment myself” Melanie insisted pulling her hand free from his. Sam just stood by the door and stared at her. She knew he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She sighed and slid her key into the front door and opened it.

  Sam followed her to the lift and they waited in silence for the lift to arrive. When it pinged and the doors slid open, Melanie was the first to step forward and as she did she pressed the button for the third floor. Sam stepped in after her, moving to the back of the lift. Melanie turned to face the doors as they closed.

  As the lift began to move upwards, Sam moved directly behind her. He was so close she could feel his breath on her neck. Instantly she felt a rush of excitement flow quickly through her body. He was so close but he didn’t touch her. She closed her eyes and tried to control the longing she felt from deep within her.

  She was grateful when the lift stopped and the doors finally opened. She quickly stepped forward. Sam followed her closely down the corridor to her door that was at the far end. She stopped when she got to her door and turned back to Sam.

  “Thanks for making sure I got home safely” she said unable to meet his eyes. Sam stood in front of her. His body so close it was almost flush with her but still he didn’t touch her.

  “It was my pleasure Melanie” he whispered, his face moving closer to hers. Melanie could barely breathe. She looked up at him and their eyes met just as he softly pressed his lips to hers. Melanie closed her eyes and allowed him to pull her into his arms.

  He slid his arms around her and presses his hand against the small of her back pushed her closer to him. She could feel his arousal against her and she gasped because she longed for him.

  But she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this on Simon, he was a good man and he deserved better.

  “No, I can’t” she said abruptly pushing Sam away. “This is wrong. I am with Simon”.

  “You should be with me” Sam said taking hold of her arms. “I know you still love me Melanie”. I can see it in your eyes. And I still love you. There has never been anyone else”.

  “Wow” Melanie replied suddenly the passion she was feeling was quickly replaced by anger. How could he stand there and lie to her face like that. She had seen the photo of him with bleach blonde Barbie. He hadn’t wasted anytime moving on at all. “Don’t stand there and lie to me Sam. We both know that is not true”.

  “Of course it’s true” he replied surprised by her answer. “I would never lie to you”.

  “I saw you with her” she snapped back at him as all the hurt and anger she felt back then came rushing through her like a freight train. “You told me there was nothing between you. You swore to me nothing happened that morning I caught you and I actually believed you. I had felt so stupid and horrible for reacting the way I did. I wanted to ring you and tell you I was sorry and I was wrong but then I saw you with her again”.

  Sam felt like she had slapped him across the face. He had no idea what she was talking about. He and Carolyn had finished long before he had even met Melanie. The day she turned up at the beach he told her that he loved Melanie and they were in the past. He never saw her again after that. Well except the time they bumped into each other at a fundraiser for the hospital where his Mom worked. He vaguely remembered some guy taking their picture. But that couldn’t be it, could it?

  “Melanie I promise whatever you think you saw” Sam said taking her hand. “It wasn’t what it seemed. You have to believe me. It’s only ever been you”.

  “Look Sam I have dealt with all this shit a long time ago” Melanie sighed. “I have moved on. I am with Simon now. I am going to marry Simon in just over two weeks’ time. Now please, let it go”.

  “I can’t” he replied sadly, looking at her. “I can’t lose you again Melanie”.

  “I am not yours to lose anymore Sam” she said as she slipped her key into the door and opened it. Then she turned back to Sam and kissed him softly on the cheek. “Goodbye Sam”.

  She hurried into her apartment and quickly closed the door. Once she was inside she slumped to the floor and began to cry.

  Sam stood outside for a moment not really sure what just happened. He had really thought for a moment everything was going to work out. When they had kissed earlier and again just a moment ago she hadn’t stopped him. Instead she had returned his kiss and he could feel the longing in her when they touched. She hadn’t been able to tell him she didn’t love him any more either. But he had no idea why she suddenly became so upset with him.

  He turned and walked back towards the elevator unsure what he should do for the best. He pressed the
call button and the doors opened immediately but he didn’t step in. He just stood rooted to the spot. A few moments later the doors closed again.

  He needed answers and this time he wasn’t going to walk away again. That was the mistake he made the first time. He should have ever let her walk away that morning. He thought it had been for the best to give her some space but instead he had given her a chance to run away and he was left living in hell for the past seven years.

  Quickly he turned and walked back down the hallway to Melanie’s apartment door. He stood for a moment and took a deep breath and knocked softly on the door.

  Melanie was still sitting with her back against the door when she heard a knock. Her heart leapt into her mouth as she quickly scrambled to her feet.

  Without even pausing to catch her breath she quickly opened the door. They both stood for a moment just staring at each other.

  Suddenly they were in each other arms and Sam was backing her into her apartment and quickly closed the door behind them.

  He pressed her against the door and sealed her mouth with his. She groaned into his mouth and gave him access for his tongue to search her mouth. His hands slid up her sides, one reaching the nape of her neck the other gentle caressed her face.

  He could feel her heart race in her chest as he pressed his body to hers. He dropped his two hands quickly to her waist and lifted her up into his arms.

  Melanie wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him hard. She knew this was wrong. She knew she should stop but right in that moment she knew she never wanted anyone more.

  He slowly began to move further into the apartment, his lips never leaving hers. Melanie was aware they were moving and then suddenly she was on the sofa and Sam was up top of her. She deftly opened the buttons of his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders and down his arms. Then she ran her hands through his beautiful hair and pulled him closer to her.

  “Melanie I love you” he whispered against her neck.

  “Sam wait” she said and his face fell. She quickly slipped out from under him and stood up. Then she reached out her hand. He quickly took it and she lead him to her bedroom.

  Once they reached the bedroom Melanie closed the door behind them. She stood for a moment and looked at Sam as he watched her with hungry eyes. Slowly she pulled the zip of her dress down and allowed it to drop to the floor.

  She stood in front of him with just the light from the street shining on her silhouette, wearing nothing but her black bra and panties. Sam paused for a moment but his desire was too much and he hurried to her and lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed.

  Quickly he was on top of her and was kissing her hard. His hand reached for her breast. Slipping it from the cup of her bra revealing her nipple. He took it in his mouth and gentle nipped it making her moan softly.

  He slid his hand down her body and hooked the rim of her panties with his fingers and gently slid them down her legs. Slowly he moved down her body, softly kissing her as he moved.

  Suddenly he stopped and looked at Melanie with concern.

  “What’s wrong” she asked but he didn’t have to say, she knew immediately what was wrong. How could she have forgotten about her scar from her operation? Of course he was going to see it and asked where it came from.

  “What happened to you?” he asked his finger softly brushing the scar on her beautiful body. His face was full of concern and sympathy and her heart ached in her chest as he touched her there. She tried to stay calm and brush it off casually but inside her heart was breaking all over again.

  “It’s not important” she whispered unable to look him in the eyes anymore. She could feel her heart getting faster and faster and her breathing became harsher too. She need to try and calm herself and stop the panic that was quickly building inside her.

  “Of course it’s important Melanie” he replied as he lay down next to her. “Everything that happens to you is important to me”.

  Melanie suddenly felt exposed and vulnerable. She couldn’t bear to have him look at her any longer. She quickly pushed up from the bed and reached for her dressing gown.

  “Melanie talk to me” Sam said as he quickly climbed up from the bed and followed her. He took her by the arm and turned her to him. He was surprised to see the tears trickle down her face when she looked up into his eyes. “Please don’t cry”.

  He pulled her into his arms and held her close to him but she pulled away. Suddenly it was like the past seven years never happened and she was the eighteen year old who’s her life had changed forever. She could feel her breath becoming more ragged and she quickly shut her eyes and tried to control her breathing.

  She sunk to the ground in the corner and buried her face in her hands and began to sob. She screwed her eyes shut but all she could see was his face when he saw her scar. He sat down next to her on the floor.

  “Melanie talk to me” he said softly. “Tell me what happened. What happened that was so bad that you shut me out”.

  Melanie was in turmoil. Part of her wanted to tell him the truth. About the baby and how badly it had ended. But part of her couldn’t bear to have him look at her with his eyes filled with so much pity.

  “I know you never stopped loving me” Sam continued. “But clearly something major happened and for some reason you think it could change how I feel about you. That’s why you pushed me away then and why you are pushing me away now”.

  “Sam I can’t deal with this” Melanie finally managed to say between the sobs. “Please just go”.

  “I am not leaving you here alone like this” he insisted. “I am not making the same mistake I made seven years ago. I should have never let you walk away so easily”.

  “JUST GO” she screamed and pushed him away. “GET OUT”

  “Melanie please let me in” he begged trying to pull her back into his arms be she fought back.

  “GET OUT, GET THE HELL OUT” she screamed as she struggled to her feet. She couldn’t even bear to look at him because the expression on his face made her feel pathetic and useless and broken.

  “Ok” he said. “Ok I will go. Melanie I am sorry I upset you. I love you”.

  “Please...d..d..don’t” she sobbed. He stood for a moment staring at her and then without saying another word he turned and walked out, his heart breaking and filled with longing just to hold her and make everything right.

  But how could he make something right when he didn’t know what was wrong in the first place. He closed her apartment down and leaned against it as he buttoned his shirt back up. He wanted so much to march straight back in and refuse to leave her but he knew she wanted space. So with a heavy heart he slowly walked towards the lift and this time when it opened he stepped inside.

  Melanie heard her apartment door close and a fresh wave on sobbing consumed her. How could she have been so stupid? And how the hell could she have forgotten about her scar. It was her daily reminder of everything she had lost. But in that moment then she had finally given herself to him, her past seem to fade away and they were just Sam and Melanie and for a briefest of moment she had allowed herself to forget.

  She remember how she had been terrified in the beginning to take things further with Simon because she had been so self-conscious about the 6 inch scar that was across the bottom of her stomach. But in the end he had barely even noticed. And now when they were together her scar rarely crossed her mind.

  But if course Sam would notice. He had known her body before. He was such a generous lover he knew every part of her and always took his time exploring her body taking her to places she had never been since.

  But now she was damaged and broken and his face when he touched her scar was more than Melanie could ever bare. Her heart started to race again and this time she was really struggling to breathe. She crawled to her bedside locker on her hands and knees, unable to make it to her feet. She pulled open her draw and pulled out her faithful paper bag. Holding it to her mouth she tried to breathe deeply. Eventually her br
eathing began to stabilize and she was suddenly exhausted. She curled into a ball on the floor and cried herself to sleep.

  When she woke the next morning in her bed she was surprised. She hadn’t really remembered climbing into bed at some point during the night but obviously she must have. She kicked her duvet off and climbed out of bed. She was still wearing just her dressing gown and her bra. She quickly slipped them off and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower.

  After her shower, she stood naked in front of the long mirror in the bathroom staring at her scar. Instinctively she ran her fingers over the smooth shiny line that sat at the bottom on her belly. She snapped her eyes closed and pushed her sadness back inside her. She was not going to cry again.

  She returned to her room and quickly dresses in Jeans and a t-shirt. She towel dried her hair as best she could and then pulled her brush through it, and then quickly wound it in a bun. As she walked out of her bedroom she spotted two of her teal scatter cushions on the floor realising they were knocked off her cream sofa when her and Sam were on it the night before.

  She quickly picked them up and returned them to their rightful place, pushing all memories of last night out of her head. Her appetite was none existent. She grabbed her jacket and her handbag from the hall floor where she had dropped them the night before and walked out the door unsure of where she was going.

  An hour later she found herself at her Dad’s front door. She had her own key but since she had stopped spending weekends there she felt less comfortable using it. She rang the bell and waited for an answer.

  “This is a surprise” Grace greeted Melanie happily when she opened the door. “Your Dad and Jamie are out the back repairing a puncture, one week of the summer holidays and already he has crashed his bike”.

  “Was he hurt” Melanie asked as she followed Grace into the kitchen.

  “He has a bump on his head and a shiner” Grace replied and sighed. “Of which he is very proud”. Melanie laughed.

  She stuck her head out the back door and saw her Dad and Jamie crouched with their heads together over Jamie’s BMX.