Forever and Always

by Beverley Hollowed

  “I love you Mel” he said as he leaned his forehead against hers. “You know you mean the world to me”.

  “I know” she replied and kissed him on the cheek. “And I love you too Simon”.

  “Come on, let’s go back to bed” he said standing up and taking her hand. “I am sure you are exhausted. I promise I will be a perfect gentleman.”

  They both climbed into bed and Simon pulled Melanie closed to him and held her tightly. After a few minute she could hear his breathing relax and slow and she knew he was asleep.

  She tried to go to sleep but her mind was racing. She wished she could put Sam out of her head. But every time she closed her eyes she could see Sam’s beautiful face. She could feel his lips on hers and in the pit of her stomach she longed to feel them again.

  When she finally drifted off to sleep she dreamt of soft lips and blue eyes, the same dream she had every night only tonight the images were much more vivid then the usually were.

  Chapter 15By the time Friday evening came around Melanie was a nervous wreck. She arrived at Simon’s apartment at about half five. She had insisted they had the dinner at his place because she couldn’t bare the idea of having Sam in her apartment. Her guests weren’t due till eight so after she finish taking the groceries out of the shopping bag she opened one of the bottles of wine and poured herself a glass.

  Simon was due in at six and Melanie had asked him to pick up a couple of things on the way home, including some extra wine, she thought she was definitely going to need them this evening.

  She pulled her I-pod from her handbag and walked over the black high gloss side board where Simon had his I-pod dock and plugged hers in. She set it on shuffle and headed back to the kitchen area.

  Simon’s apartment was spacious and very modern. Everything was shiny and clinical. All the furniture and fixtures where high gloss black or chrome. Except for the large red leather corner sofa that was positioned in front of a 60 inch Plasma TV that was mounted on the wall. And the six high back red leather chairs around a long rectangle high gloss black table. Everything in the apartment had its place and Melanie hated it.

  She didn’t feel at home in this apartment. There was nothing personal or comforting about Simon’s apartment. There were no photos or books or anything that might give a clue to the owner’s personality. There were no rugs or scatter cushions, nothing that gave that homely feeling.

  She rarely came to Simon apartment. Whenever she and Simon were together it was usually in her apartment. Her apartment was not that far from her mother’s, it was small compared to Simon’s but it was cosy and Melanie loved it there.

  She and Simon had argued more than a few times where they would live after they were married. Simon wanted Melanie to move in with him saying his apartment was bigger and was close to the hospital for when he was on call. Melanie argued she would have to leave at the crack of dawn every day to make it to work on time because of the traffic, so moving in with him made no sense. In the end they agreed to look for somewhere that suited them both better although Melanie was not thrilled at the thoughts of giving up her perfect little apartment. Simon had been asking her to move in with him for so long now but she liked having her own little space. They still hadn’t selected anywhere to live and reluctantly Melanie agreed to move into Sam until they found somewhere under the condition they would have somewhere before she returned to school in September.

  It was just after six when the buzzer sounded and Melanie rolled her eyes. She couldn’t believe that once again Simon had forgotten his keys.

  She walked over to the intercom and pressed the speaker button.

  “Maybe you should ask one of the other doctors to stitch those keys to your hand” She laughed and pressed the release button on the main door to let him into the building and then took the latch off the apartment door.

  She returned to the kitchen island and continued chopping vegetables for the salad she was serving with the lasagne. She was just starting to slice open a bell pepper when she heard the apartment door open slowly and then close. She looked up with a smile to greet Simon but was shocked to see Sam standing there instead. So shocked that she managed to slice straight through her finger.

  “Fuck” she screamed out loud dropping the knife on the counter.

  “Jesus Melanie” Sam said as he quickly placed the bag he was carrying on the counter and grabbed her by the hand and led her to the sink. He placed her hand under the running water and held it tightly there for a few minutes ensuring it was thoroughly rinsed.

  While he held her hand under the water Melanie peeked at him sideways and her heart jumped in her chest. Why did he have to be so damn gorgeous?

  Suddenly his eyes met hers.

  “Where is your first aid kit?” he asked holding her eyes with his.

  “I think it’s under the sink in the bathroom” she replied in a barely audible whisper.

  “Keep your hand under the water till I get back” he said looking at her seriously. She nodded and he was gone. A couple of moments later he was back holding a small green first aid box.

  He pulled some paper towels off the roll next to the sink and wrapped her hand in it then led her to the chairs around the dining table. He pulled put one of the chairs and guided her to sit down. He lay the kit on the table and opened it. First cleaning the cut with antiseptic wipes then using some plasters he gave her a couple of butterfly stitches before dressing her finger in a small white bandage.

  “Now, all better” he said softly and smiled his usual beautiful smile his eyes once again locking with hers.

  “Thank you” she replied and abruptly pulled her hand from his suddenly feeling uncomfortable by their close proximity. “Why are you here?”

  “Simon was delayed by an emergency” Sam explained. “He asked if I could drop some things off for him”.

  “Oh” she replied.

  “I wasn’t planning on staying I swear” he continued. “But looks like you are going to struggle doing dinner with your finger. So maybe I can help. Seems as I am here already”.

  “There really is no need” Melanie replied.

  “Please let me help” he said and smiled.

  “Ok, thank you” she said reluctantly and returned his smile.

  He pulled out a high stool for her that was next to the kitchen island. Then he picked up her glass of wine and puts in down in front of her. Before she sat down on the stool she got a glass out of the press and poured Sam a glass of wine.

  “Thanks” he said with a smile as she sat the wine down in front of him on the counter. He took a sip before he began chopping the rest of the vegetables. She sat and watched him move around the kitchen with his usual grace. She remembered when she would sit and watch him while he cooked for her in the beach house. She was always amazed with how graceful and at ease he seemed to be in his own skin.

  Suddenly she remembered how he moved in the bedroom. How it felt when he touched her. He knew every part of her body and she had never felt more alive than she had with him. She quickly tried to push those thoughts from her mind.

  “Nice apartment you have here” he said as he glanced around his surroundings.

  “This is not my apartment” she replied, suddenly feeling the need to clarify things for him. “This is Simon’s place. I live the over the far side of the city”.

  “Don’t you live together?” Sam asked a little surprised by her answer.

  “No” she replied and for some reason she felt embarrassed. Even her friends thought it was weird she wasn’t living with the man she was about to marry. Her eyes dropped to her fingers and she shifted nervously in her chair.

  “Wow” Sam replied. “Although I have to admit I didn’t really think this clinical style would have been your thing”.

  “God, no it’s not. I hate it here” she blurted out without thinking. Then regretted what she said. Sam face looked a little surprised but even more then that he looked almost pleased with her reply. He didn’t say anythin
g in response instead just returned to chopping the vegetables.

  Suddenly the track her IPod changed and Neil Diamond’s song “Hello Again” began to play. Sam’s eyes quickly met Melanie and a broad smile spread across his face.

  “Our Song” Sam said softly and his eyes locked with hers. “Would you care to dance?”

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea “she replied.

  “That is a shame” Sam said sadly turning his attention back to the vegetables. “You were always such a great dancer”.

  “Sam why are you doing this?” she sighed.

  “Because you cut your finger” he replied without looking up from what he was doing.

  “That’s not what I meant” she frowned. “I mean why you are here. Why did you agree to come? I don’t get it”.

  “Melanie not a day has passed that I have not longed to see you” He replied as he finally put down the knife and looked at her. “When I saw you the other day in the hospital it was like I had finally woke up from a terrible dream”.

  He walked around the island and stood in front of Melanie. She instantly felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. Feeling her fight or flight instinct kicking in, she was on her feet before he reached her.

  “Melanie I have never stopped loving you for a second in the past seven years” He said as he took her hands. “And I can’t just give up and walk away without a fight”.

  Melanie just stared at him and swallowed hard.

  “I know you still have feelings for me” he continued. “I can see it in your eyes and I could feel it when you kissed me. I think you are about to make the biggest mistake of your life and I plan on helping you see this too”.

  “Sam I am with Simon” she replied as he moved closer and closer to her until his face was almost touching hers. He reached up and softly traced his fingers down her cheek.

  “Tell me you don’t love me anymore” Sam whispered softly into her ear. His lip brushing softly against her lobe. “Look me in the eye and tell me you haven’t thought of me too. That you don’t want me as much as I want you right at this minute. Tell me you love him more then you love me and I will walk away”.

  He pressed his lips tenderly against her neck and traced butterfly kisses from her neck around her jaw and up until his lips finally reached hers.

  She knew she should have pushed him away and demanded he left at once. But she didn’t, instead she leaned into him and pressed her lips harder to his. She wanted him right there and then.

  “Melanie I’m home” Simon called from the door as he walked into the apartment.

  Melanie pulled away from Sam like she had been hit by a bolt of lightning. She felt her cheeks flush as she quickly put some distance between her and Sam.

  What the hell was she thinking? She loved Simon, she was marrying Simon. She had no right to be kissing Sam. She decided that she would tell Sam just that as soon as she had the chance. And she would tell him to leave her alone.

  “Hey Coop” Simon said surprised to see Sam, who was now standing back on the other side of the island chopping vegetable. “Don’t tell me Melanie has you making your own dinner”.

  He walked over to Melanie and kissed her softly on the cheek.

  “Well I offered to help Melanie” Sam explained. “She had a little accident”.

  “What happened” Simon asked turning to Melanie, the concern clear on his face. Melanie held up her hand and showed him her finger in the bandage.

  “I cut myself with a knife” Melanie explained as her heart tightened with guilt. He was so concerned about her and all she could think about was how Sam’s lips had felt so good on hers.

  “I arrived just in time with the things you asked me to drop off” Sam continued the story when he saw Melanie face. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. “I put some butterfly stitches on and dressed it for her. She is going to be just fine”.

  “Oh sweetheart” Simon exclaimed as he pulled Melanie into his arms. “You poor thing”.

  Melanie felt her stomach flip. How could she betray Simon so easily by kissing Sam? She swore to herself she would never let that happen again. She loved Simon and Sam needed to back off.

  It was just after eight when Lucy and James arrived. Simon introduced Sam and he greeted them happily and asked how Calum was. Lucy smiled and began to talk very animatedly about her little boy. Melanie could see Lucy had instantly taken to Sam. Melanie rolled her eyes. She needed Lucy to help her get rid of him and being sucked in by his obvious charms would not help her in the slightest.

  They all sat down to the dinner that Sam had made for them. Simon sat at the head of the table and Melanie sat to his left, Lucy sat next to her, James sat facing Lucy and Sam sat next to him facing Melanie.

  Melanie was quiet all through dinner while the other four chatted happily between themselves. Melanie’s appetite seemed to have vanished too. She pushed her dinner around the plate but ate very little.

  On more than one occasion she looked up from her plate to find Sam’s piercing blue eyes staring back at her. Every time she would feel her face flush with embarrassment and she would quickly look away. Thankfully Simon never seemed to notice the tension that radiated between the two old lovers.

  As her guest ate their desserts Melanie stood and said she was going to make some coffee.

  “I’ll help” James said standing up also. Melanie thought she caught a little look of disappointment in Sam’s face. She thinks James beat him to the punch with his offer of help. Melanie felt instantly grateful to James.

  Melanie opened the cupboard above her head and pulled out five black mugs as James switched on Simon’s state of the art coffee maker.

  “Are you ok Mel?” he asked as he moved around the kitchen area, keeping his voice to a low hush so the others couldn’t hear him.

  “I’m fine” she replied with a smile she really didn’t feel. She was surprised by his question.

  “Mel I don’t know much about women” James smiled, he eyes were soft but filled with concern. “But one thing I do know is when a woman says she is “fine”, she rarely is”.

  The first day she met Sam came into her mind so clearly, he had said almost the exact the same thing to her on that day and the memory made her heart ache and tears sprung into her eyes.

  “Hey” James whispered taking her hand. “I am sorry Mel I didn’t mean to upset you”.

  “You didn’t upset me James” she replied.

  “It’s Sam isn’t it” he asked.

  “Sam?” she asked confused as to why he would ask that.

  “Mel I am not blind” James said. “I can see how he is looking at you and how you look at him”. Melanie just stared as panic swept over her. If James has noticed maybe Simon has too.

  “Don’t worry I don’t think Simon has a clue” he continued as if to answer her question. “Sam is the guy, isn’t he”.

  “What guy” she asked but she knew exactly the guy he meant. Whenever Melanie, Lucy and Katie got together and Simon wasn’t about and drink was involved, someone would mention the guy from the beach and it would nearly always end with Katie saying if she ever came face to face with him, she would kick his ass. Many times James would be there but he would never really comment except usually to say with were a bunch of cackling witches and laugh.

  Melanie wondered just how much James knew about Sam. No doubt Lucy had filled him in on every little detail because that’s what a husband and wife did. They told each other everything. She told Simon everything, didn’t she? Then she thought that actually no, she didn’t. She hid a lot of things from Simon. She never told him she hated his apartment. Or that she hated coffee. She never told him the story of what happened with Sam or the real reason she couldn’t have children.

  What did that say about them as couple? When she thought about it there were so many things he didn’t know about her. The most important thing she hadn’t told him was the fact she had been was having doubts about the wedding long befor
e Sam even arrived. Just what did that mean?

  “Mel I know about what happened when you were younger” he explained nervously, unsure if he should continue. “And I know Sam is that guy. It’s written all over your face. And if you want me to throw him out on his ass I will do it, no problem”.

  Melanie looked at James in surprise. James was a big softy really and he offering to throw Sam out was so out of character for him. But as she looked at him she knew he meant it. But when she thought about it that was the last thing she wanted.

  “I didn’t think so” he replied reading the expression on her face. “The thing is Mel, Simon is a nice guy and Sam seems pretty cool too but you have to decide who it is you love. Who is going to make you happy because right at this moment you don’t look very happy and I hate to see you look so miserable”.

  “Thanks James” she smiled warmly at this sweet caring man. “You know Lucy is lucky to have found someone as special as you”.

  “Hey what’s keeping the coffee” Simon called from the dining area. “I hope she isn’t pumping you for info about the stag’s weekend”.

  “Don’t worry Simon your secrets are safe with me” James said and winked reassuringly at Melanie before he walked back to the table carrying a tray with the cups and the pot of coffee.

  “Hey Sam you should come with us” Simon said as Melanie finally returns to the table. She quickly shot Sam a pleading look.

  “I would really like to” Sam said staring back at Melanie then turned to Simon and smiled. “But some of us have to cover for all you losers at the hospital. So I am afraid while you lot are off living the high life some of us will be elbow deep in broken arms, busted lips, high temps and vomiting”.

  “Too bad” Simon laughed and slapped Sam on the back. “Should be a great weekend”.

  “What time are you leaving at tomorrow” Melanie asks.