Guarded Passion

by Bonnie Dee

  I came out of my room to find Travis running around half-naked. His latest thing was hating to wear pants. I corralled him, stuffed him back in his little overalls, socks, and shoes, jammed my own feet into my dressiest pair of boots, and dragged all the stuff a three-year-old needs out to my car. It would’ve been way easier to have Carol Ann come over from next door, but I’d lost faith in her. My new sitter was an older woman who lived closer to town. She was a widow, her grown children scattered all over the country, who seemed happy to look after Travis as if he took the place of the grandchildren she rarely saw.

  Of course, Travis chose that night to freak out when I started to leave him. I knew he liked Maybelle. He hadn’t fussed the first few times I left him with her. He just didn’t want me to go. I had to nearly peel him off like flypaper and hurry outside. Before I left, I took a glance through the window to see Travis and Maybelle were looking through his books. His tears had evaporated like magic.

  Rather than have Jonah pick me up at the sitter’s, I’d agreed to meet him at a parking spot near the highway convenient for us both. My excitement and nervousness increased the closer I got to our meeting point. A sharp inner voice clamored this was all wrong, and I shouldn’t head down this road. A younger, more foolish voice that was only twenty-one and tired of being alone said fuck off and shut up. This handsome, kind, and generous man wanted to take me on a real date. By God, I was going to enjoy every minute of it.

  Jonah was there waiting for me. I took a deep breath and plunged into the cold, my legs turning to icicles in the moment it took to climb into the warmth of the Range Rover.

  The driver’s door was half-open, and Jonah looked at me in dismay as I popped up next to him. “I was going to open the door for you.”

  I smiled. I was on a real treat-her-like-a-lady date. “Thanks for the thought.”

  He put the car in gear and started out. I fastened my seat belt and felt as excited as Travis when he got a new toy. I wanted to bounce in my seat.

  “I hope you like this show. I figured you like dancing, so this would be good.”

  “I’m so excited. I’ve never been to a live show before.” Aside from watching the other dancers at Cock Teasers. “Is it like ballet or what?”

  “More modern, I guess. The ad said something about urban rhythms. I don’t know. I’m not very knowledgeable about stuff like this. I’ve never been to a show either,” he admitted.

  Nice to know Jonah wasn’t such a cosmopolitan guy. Made me feel better about being an ignorant hick. After all, he’d grown up even poorer and rougher than me. Neither of us had exactly been exposed to culture. We could be comfortable experiencing this new thing together.

  Silence fell for several moments; only the hum of the tires on the asphalt filled the air. Most of the snow from the other day had melted, so the road was clear.

  I searched for a conversation starter, cleared my throat, and at the same moment, Jonah said, “I want to apologize again for calling you the other night. I want you to know I don’t usually drink. It’s not a habit.”

  I nodded. “I guess everybody has drunk dialed at one time or another. It’s okay.”

  I believed him about not being a drinker. I’d cleaned his house and knew he didn’t even keep any liquor on hand. That made me wonder what had happened to make him drink the other night. I could only guess our kissing had shaken him, which was sort of ego boosting.

  “I’m, uh, glad you asked me out,” I said. “I don’t get much opportunity to have fun. Not that I don’t love spending time with Travis, but sometimes…” Sometimes I felt like I was thirty-one instead of twenty-one, like I’d skipped right over being young.

  “Thanks for coming.” He shot me a sideways glance. “But I bet you have plenty of opportunities to date. You’re beautiful.”

  The compliment, tossed off so casually, made me blush bright as a fire hydrant. I’d never felt more beautiful. At the same time, it brought up memories of all the losers at Cock Teasers who had asked me out, and who I’d shot down. Which brought me to how Jonah and I first met—not a great beginning.

  “Thanks,” I muttered.

  “I left plenty of time before the show starts for dinner. I hope you like the place I’m taking you.”

  “Anywhere would be fine right now. I’m starving.”

  “Me too. We could stop and get a Krispy Kreme to tide us over. Maybe a half dozen,” he teased.

  I grinned. “I can wait. Plus, I have a packet of Travis’s goldfish crackers in my coat pocket if we get desperate.”

  Not so daunting being on a date after all. I relaxed into my heated seat, which toasted my ass nicely, and felt like Cinderella being whisked to the ball in a luxurious coach—only my prince was sitting right beside me.

  Jonah wasn’t kidding about the restaurant. It was exactly as he’d described it to me the other night, complete with real flowers in the centerpieces, cloth napkins, and a violinist who strolled from table to table. I shrank down into my dollar-store dress and hid my cheap boots underneath the table. I definitely didn’t belong here. The menu was probably in French. It’d be a classic humiliation like in a movie where I’d order cold soup and raw pheasant or something.

  But the menu wasn’t French, and even I knew prime rib was the best cut of meat, even if I’d never had it. I placed my order with confidence, then watched the waiter pour us each a glass of champagne. A champagne flute, I recalled, also from watching TV.

  The dry bubbly drink was nectar. Maybe not as sweet as I’d like, but I could get used to it. Jonah didn’t propose a toast, which I was glad about because I always thought that seemed pretentious somehow. We just drank the champagne and exclaimed over how good it was. And we both wolfed down the steaming-hot bread the waiter brought.

  “When we’re finished here, if there’s enough time, I’ll drive you past the ballpark,” Jonah promised.

  “That’d be wonderful. I’m thrilled to see all the city lights and the big buildings. It’s like going to the Emerald City,” I gushed, then felt like an idiot. Be cool, Rianna.

  But he smiled. “We’ll come sometime during the day, and you can see all the horse farms on the way. They call Lexington the horse capital of the world. And of course there are the bourbon distilleries.” He paused and toyed with his fork before adding, “That’s the new business I told you about. It’s why I’ve sold most of my land around Sawville. I had to research the process, get the permits I needed, purchase a building and all the aged oak barrels and copper vats I needed, but it’s getting closer to reality. The remodel of the factory I bought will be finished by spring, and I’ll have an up-and-running bourbon distillery.”

  He looked up from the fork to meet my eyes, cautious, checking my reaction. “I just wanted you to know that. A few loose ends to tie up, and then I’ll be done with my old business.”

  “That’s fantastic. Congratulations.” I was really happy to hear his news. It erased one of the reasons I’d forbidden myself to get involved with him. And I was happy for Jonah too. He’d pulled himself out of poverty the only way he knew how, but now he was making a conscious choice to change. That was a healthy thing.

  “Can we drive past? Can you show me?”

  “It’s a little ways out. Maybe not tonight. But some other time, if you’d like to tour it. It’s a pretty fascinating process. You know, my ancestors made moonshine in what’s called a turnip still. It only took some copper tubing, the vat, and ingredients for mash. Any dirt-poor hill man could brew it. Now I’m spending thousands of dollars for equipment and a sterile facility. And even more ironic is that those folks were outlaws, and now this distillery is saving me from being on the wrong side of the law.”

  I smiled at him. “I’m really glad for you. It sounds like you’re making a bold move, one that will be good for you.”

  I couldn’t help but also note that this was the second time he’d mentioned bringing me to Lexington again. He was already planning more dates. He liked me. And I was beginning to l
ike him too, more and more. But the thought wasn’t nearly as troubling now that I was convinced Jonah was leaving the weed business behind. I wanted to feel this way about a man again, this excited, Christmas-is-coming feeling of a new crush. I’d just wanted to make sure I was falling for a responsible, reliable adult this time, and it seemed that Jonah was all that and more.

  After the delicious meal—and I didn’t leave a speck of that prime rib for a doggie bag—I had to nearly roll myself away from the table. We drove around the downtown, looking at the Christmas lights in the parks and on the streets, and we even had enough time to cruise past Whitaker Bank Ballpark, home of the Legends. It was like passing a shrine. I sighed with satisfaction.

  The Kentucky Theater was a gorgeous, vintage venue that had been restored to its 1920s’ splendor. I knew this from reading the plaque in the grand foyer adorned by gilt trim and crown moldings and chandeliers. It was like being in a jewelry box or something.

  The touring show was called Beat Style and featured a dance troupe that did such astonishing things with their bodies, I was awestruck. I’d thought I was pretty flexible, but they could twist around one another in ways that were practically double-jointed. Their dances were beautiful, emotional, inspiring, and stirring. I was carried away on the beat and wanted to leap out of my seat and run onstage to join in.

  As we shuffled our way out of the theater amid the crowd, I marveled over the acts we’d just seen. “Those dancers were amazing. I’d give anything to do that. Well, maybe not that, because I don’t really care about performing. I’d just like to dance again. I love it and I miss it,” I admitted. “Obviously not where I was doing it, but the dancing itself.”

  We’d reached the sidewalk, and Jonah took my elbow and guided me around a clump of people who stood talking. “You’re good at it. You’re comfortable with your body. I can barely move.”

  I punched his arm lightly. “You did just fine when we two-stepped. You’re better than you think.”

  “Do you want to go someplace and dance?” he asked.

  I drew a breath of the freezing air and shivered. I’d love to say yes, to extend our time together. But I had a sitter to pay, and I still had to wake Travis, haul him home, and get him tucked into bed. Plus, I didn’t want to annoy Maybelle by being late.

  “I’d better not. Although it really sounds like fun,” I hurried to add in case he thought I was trying to cut the night short. “Another time for sure.”

  He nodded, then frowned as he noticed my teeth chattering. “You’re freezing.” He glanced down at my legs, exposed under my short coat and skirt. “Here. Put this on.”

  The man actually took off his heavy long coat and slung it around my shoulders. It draped nearly to the ground on me.

  In his tailored suit, Jonah looked so hot, he didn’t need a coat. I’d never in my life been with a guy who wore a tie, which wasn’t saying much considering my past history with men, Clay, of course, and before him a string of boyfriends leading back to middle school. My grandmother had been right to worry.

  “Oh no. That’s okay. I don’t want you to be cold,” I protested.

  “We’ll be at the car soon.” He put his arm around my back and hurried me along to the parking garage.

  I felt treasured with his warm coat hugging my shoulders and his strong arm at my back. I could quickly get used to treatment like this.

  We continued to talk about the show we’d seen, Jonah’s future plans, and, of course, baseball all the way back to Sawville. Jonah dropped me at my car but insisted on following me to Maybelle’s house and helping me get Travis and all his stuff out to the car. Then he followed me home and did the same thing at the trailer. How much easier dealing with a child was with an extra pair of willing hands.

  I couldn’t stop the tightening in my throat or the sting in my eyes when Jonah gently tucked Travis into his crib. Then together we tiptoed out of the room.

  “Looks like he’s about ready for a real bed,” Jonah remarked when we were back in the living room.

  “Soon. I’m saving up for one. I’ve been looking at online ads for twin beds. I don’t want to get a piece of junk.”

  He glanced around my place, and I tried not to be embarrassed at how shabby it was. It helped that I knew Jonah had been where I was now. He understood poverty very well.

  “I’ll come by sometime and put plastic over your windows,” he said. “That’ll help keep out the cold and cut down on your heating bills.”

  It was so obvious. Other mobile home owners in the park had done that. Why hadn’t I before the winter really hit?

  “That’s okay. I can do it myself. I just haven’t got around to it yet.”

  “Rianna.” He touched his hand to mine. “Just say okay.”

  I ducked my head and smiled. “Okay. That’d be really helpful. Thanks.”

  Jonah laced his fingers through mine and held my hand for a moment. I couldn’t look up at him. I was suddenly nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

  He suddenly leaned in and kissed me, a sweet, polite kiss on the corner of my mouth. “Good night.”

  My door was open and closing behind him before I even had a chance to say it back.

  I touched a hand to my lips, which ached for much more than that one little peck. “Good night,” I murmured.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jonah

  I thought our first date went well. I wondered if Rianna could tell I’d looked up dating tips online and checked them off a mental list.

  First thing I’d done wrong was forget the flowers I’d bought for her. They remained wilting at home on my counter. Then she’d preempted my plan to open the car door for her, but after that, things went pretty smoothly. She enjoyed the restaurant and packed away her meal as if she’d been starving for weeks. Made me want to buy her everything on the dessert cart too. And she really loved the show. Despite the fact I’d had zero experience taking a woman on a date, I’d call it a successful evening.

  After I saw her home, it was hard to know whether she wanted me to go or stay. Desire vibrated in the air between us, and we could have easily ended up in bed. But I was determined to demonstrate there were no strings attached to my plan for the evening, so I gave her a quick kiss and left. There’d be time for more later. Plenty of time to take things slow.

  I’d never attempted to have a relationship before but figured it was like any business decision I’d ever made—best to plan it, then move forward with caution and deliberation.

  So what did I do instead? Called Rianna first thing the next day and asked if she wanted to do something again, with Travis this time. A fresh slick of snow had fallen during the night, and we could take him sledding, unless she thought he was too young for it.

  “If they’re small, safe hills,” she said. “But I have a cleaning job, so I won’t be able to today.”

  Right. She had to work. And I should too. I hadn’t gone by the processing shed for days. The season’s crop was dried, packaged, and shipped, the shed nearly empty. But there were still some things to take care of.

  “Saturday, then?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Travis would love it.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “I want to thank you again for last night. I had an amazing time, and I enjoyed everything even more because I was with you.”

  I really like you too. “It was fun,” I said. “Okay, then. See you on Saturday, early afternoon.”

  It was way past time to have a talk with Bud Harringer. I’d put off explaining my new business plan to my foreman for far too long. So I called and asked him to meet me at the shed.

  A few hours later, I parked the Rover as close as I could get, then hiked the rest of the way to the secluded, well-hidden processing plant. Bud was already waiting for me, wearing his customary overalls that were his uniform winter or summer, changing grow lights and taking stock of what we needed for a new crop of seedlings.

  “We’re down to almost zero supplies,” Bud greeted me without a hell
o. “We need fertilizer and more of them hydroponic trays.” He glanced up from his tablet where he was typing a shopping list.

  “Yeah. I wanted to talk to you about that. It’s time I told you I’m going to be making changes.”

  He nodded as if he already knew what I was going to say. “I already heard about you selling some of your land to Sam Pace. Figured you were planning a more controlled environment. I been interested in trying indica. It’s a smaller plant, better for indoor growing.”

  I folded my arms and gazed past Bud at the dryer we’d put in not that long ago. This was going to be harder than I thought.

  “You and I’ve worked together a long time, Bud,” I began.

  “Since we was both kids, and we had that one li’l scraggly patch up the ridge behind my house.” He put his tablet away and faced me. “Are you…firin’ me?”

  I shook my head. “This isn’t about you. Hell, you built this business as much as I did. By rights, half of everything should belong to you.” Which probably wasn’t the smartest thing to admit. “The thing is, I’m done here.” I waved a hand to indicate the building around us. “I’m starting a legal business up in Lexington. That’s why I’ve been selling off land and not prepping for another season.”

  Bud pushed his glasses up his nose and peered at me through thick lenses that made his eyes huge. “It didn’t occur to you to tell me this, oh, I don’t know, months ago? You didn’t think to ask if I was interested in buying before you went to Pace? Who has more experience than me? If you’re done with all this, I should be the one taking over the business, filling the gap. Not fuckin’ Sam Pace.”

  He had a valid point. How could I explain my action without admitting I didn’t think Bud had the management skills to run the entire operation? He was good with the workers, but this was about a lot more than production, it was about dealing with hot-tempered distributors and remembering a lot of details. The truth was, I feared if I gave the reins to Bud, he’d end up in prison or even dead.