Past Truths

by Em Pitts

  "I say we kill him," Isaake spoke for the first time as he kept pacing the length of the floor before the couch.

  It took me longer than I would have liked to calm down. That was when I told Raynor and Isaake what happened. It felt strange not talking to all the guys about this, but I knew we would fill them in as soon as we could. Not for the first time, I cursed not having phones.

  "You would have to kill that guy, Alexander, who was with him too." I shook my head.

  Why was I not immediately denying Isaake's need for revenge by death right now? Because the guy just tried to blackmail me into marriage. To clarify, my options are: be beaten/ publicly humiliated, death, or to sleep with a man I have no desire for, birth his children and take care of any other needs he sees fit for the rest of my life.

  Maybe we should have jumped to beating his ass first and then talked about death later, but I had plenty of time to think and stew on my walk here. I hate Judge with a passion, and he deserves whatever punishment he gets. If that makes me a bad person, then I accept that fact.

  "Alexander was with him?" Raynor gave me a sharp look. Did I not mention this in my retelling?

  "Yeah. The judge said he told him I was missing last night. He was also being creepy before that though when I saw him with Hector at the tavern."

  "Stay away from Alexander," Isaake spoke up. I looked back and forth at the serious expressions.

  "Okay, what's going on?" I asked wearily.

  "Alexander is a null," Isaake explained. "Our powers don't work around him. The judge brings him in when gifted need to be punished. If he has Alexander already, then he is planning to blame someone." Isaake looked troubled as he bit his lip in contemplation.

  Raynor shook his head in denial. "It could be a coincidence. John said that Alexander traveled here with him."

  "I don't believe in coincidences." Isaake's eyes flashed to Raynor showing the cold man he could be.

  A noise towards the front of the house drew our attention. Familiar laughter rang out. "It's your turn to cook and you know it." Ollie's grumbling sounded lighter than I had heard it in days.

  "I could always pop in and get Tess to cook. I hear she burns water." Nick laughed at his words before he walked into the living area. "Ah, I don't need to fetch her. Come to cook us a meal, sugar?" He joked and dropped down on my other side. "What's wrong?" He immediately straightened when he saw my face.

  His question brought my despair back to the surface and I bit my lip trying to stop the coming tears. I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him trying to hold myself together using him as my glue. He squeezed me back, gently rocking me.

  "Your cooking isn't that bad Tessa." He tried to reassure me. I heard a snort from behind me but ignored it as fingers started massaging my head. "I'll teach you to cook, pretty girl. I swear it. We'll practice every day. Please, just stop crying."

  "It's Judge." Raynor's deep voice spoke up as he placed his hand on my leg offering his comfort. Nick's fingers stalled in my hair and tightened for a fraction of a second before he continued. Isaake snarled at the reminder and I heard his pacing pick back up again.

  "What's happened?" Ollie demanded. Isaake and Raynor explained as Nick held me to him, tightening his fingers again when he heard about the blackmail.

  "So, we kill him." Nick's voice was as cold as Isaake's and it shocked the shit out of me.

  "He has Alexander," Raynor explained to his brother. Curses erupted from Nick and Ollie. I pulled away and Nick’s hand dropped to my back continuing to rub circles of comfort. I saw Ollie leaned against the wall with his hand covering half of his face.

  "What if we move her? She could stay with the tribe until we find a place to settle her." Nick continued trying to find a solution. I shook my head in denial.

  "He said he would find me if I ran. I don't know if you have someone with that kind of gift, but he seemed sure of it." I replied in hopelessness. What if there was no other option out of this?

  "Then we keep you with us." Ollie caught my attention. "You stay with us at all times and we protect you."

  "When the trials are over—" I started trying to explain that after the trials it would all fall apart.

  "Isaake." Ollie got his attention and I watched as the two seemed to have a silent communication. Isaake nodded his head before Ollie turned back my way. "When we get back from the trials Isaake and you will go ahead and marry." I felt Raynor's and Nick's hands tighten. "The possibility of being shamed when you were already engaged was small, but that will eliminate it. And the kidnappings..." Ollie trailed off lost in thought.

  "We give them someone to blame," Isaake spoke up. "They were already ready to blame her and she's innocent."

  "You would just throw an innocent life away?" I questioned incredulously.

  "Not an innocent. Someone who should be punished for his crimes anyway." Isaake's gaze pleaded with me to understand. I nodded. I trusted them.

  "Then it's settled." Ollie pushed off the wall. "We'll fix this, Tess." His gaze softened for a moment as he held my stare. I glanced away not liking that my thoughts trailed to his lips and feeling guilty for it.

  "And the trials? Will one of you be staying during them?"

  "We take you with us," Raynor spoke up shocking me. He normally didn't make too many of the decisions. Based on the death idea he had for me some time back, I assumed he wasn't very good at them.

  "I agree," Nick spoke up behind me. "If she is with us, then he can't try something underhanded while we are away."

  "Isaake, can you keep her hidden?"

  "Of course."

  "Then, it looks like you are going to be the first women at the trials." Ollie smiled at me.

  "Yay, me." I tried to smile back. I was safe for now. But for how long?

  22

  I found out the original plan was to visit the tribe after the aspirantium cleared out and things settled down. The judge had thrown a wrench in my plans for the day. I had no intentions of going back to help Margrete. I didn't even want to risk going to the tavern and bumping into Judge right now.

  There was a chance he would be sated just with the warning he had given me. There was also the chance that the snake of a man would decide he didn't want to wait on the trials to finish but instead planned on taking what he wanted now. I shudder to think of what he plans on next.

  I trust the guys, but I'm not going to be an idiot about this. The plan to stay with them at all times won't work. Judge will fight me whether the men stand by me or not.

  The worst of it is, he won't even have to go through the men. All he needs to do is point his finger in my direction. The town will do the rest. Panic is easy to spread and hard to control. I won't stand a chance.

  I chose not to argue about it though. I'll let the guys believe they are macho enough to keep off the planned attack. I've already started creating a counter plan. I'm just holding off on it being the last resort option.

  Visiting the tribe now would be the perfect distraction. Which is what I keep telling the stubborn men. Ollie and Nick were making lunch, while Raynor held his perch beside me and Isaake decided to sit on the table in front of me.

  "I'm only saying that being away right now would bring unwanted attention towards us." Isaake pointed out again. See, stubborn.

  "There's already attention on me. That brings attention to you because you chose to marry me." I pointed out sarcastically. Sighing, I tried to calm myself to get through to him. "Look, what difference does it make whether I visit the tribe now or after dark? I'm not going back to the square or anywhere within 500 feet of the man who just threatened me." A growl sounded out from Isaake and Raynor. "So," I continued ignoring the tension. "I would be missing either way. Now you just need to figure out who is going to be missing with me."

  Finally, Isaake started to see my reasoning. Either that or the thought of me being near Judge again pissed him off enough to go with my plan. A win is a win though, and I'll take it.

  He
nodded sharply then looked towards Raynor. "Nick and Ollie can continue with the clock search. Raynor and I will accompany you."

  I nodded before something occurred to me. "How far is the tribe exactly? Because without Ollie and Raynor together we can't do the tunnel thing, right?"

  I saw Raynor cringe beside me. The look on Isaake's face was much more entertaining though. He closed his eyes slowly and dropped his head forward just realizing his plan was flawed. The judge must have really rattled him, for him to not even think of how far we would be traveling.

  "We can't go." He said without picking his head up.

  "Wait, what?" All humor at Isaake vanished. "You just said it was fine."

  "Ollie won't go." Raynor clarified from beside me.

  "And we won't easily make the trip there and back before the trials tomorrow." Isaake groaned looking up at me apologetically.

  "How did Aska, Eliza, and the nameless man travel then?" Surely there was a quicker way besides the tunnel.

  "Horses. We don't have horses." Isaake was biting his lip and looking over my head spacing out. I knew he was trying to think of another solution. He bites his lip a lot when he is thinking. I turned towards Raynor.

  "Why won't Ollie go?"

  Raynor shook his head and I saw a deep sadness in his eyes. "It's not my story to tell."

  "It's not like he is going to tell it either." Isaake snorted and tuned into the conversation.

  "You don't know that." Snapped Raynor.

  "I know he doesn't talk about her even when I have tried before." He lifted an eyebrow as if to say, “see there”.

  "Her as in Aska?" I chimed in wondering if they were having problems.

  "No, her sister," Isaake said then looked at me with a heavy gaze. "Remember that person who I watched..." He trailed off unable to continue. He didn't need to though.

  I remember him telling me why he cut himself off from everyone and carried that cold look in his eyes. I'm glad that he was able to unwind after that and be more himself with me. But if he lost her, then why was Ollie unable to talk about her.

  The girl I wished to marry was killed because she was Indian.

  No. Fuck. Ollie's girlfriend was Aska's sister. Isaake lost Aska's sister.

  "Aska's sister was the girlfriend who was killed?" The silence spoke of the men's shock at my knowing. It also confirmed I was right. "Ollie isn't dating Aska is he?" I asked rhetorically. I was wrong about their relationship and why they were so familiar with each other. Isaake managed a stunned headshake in response anyway.

  "Ollie already told you?" Raynor spoke up seeing as Isaake decided to play a puppet with the opening and closing mouth.

  "Just the basics. Girlfriend killed because she was Indian." It was like a puzzle piece fit into place even as more were missing. "Ollie won't go to the tribe because it reminds him of her." I guessed. Isaake found his voice again as he shook himself out of the stupor.

  "The chief was her father." Isaake corrected. "He won't go see the chief because—"

  "How about you stop speaking for me?" Ollie's voice filled the room as he entered. Isaake looked chagrin and Raynor wouldn't look at him. No. I wouldn't let him make the others feel bad for my curiosity.

  "I'm the one asking about it. Take it out on me if you want to be pissed." I looked him dead in the eye. Bad idea. The last time I challenged him we got a bit closer than would be polite in the current company. Matter of fact, every time I challenge him, we seem to get closer. He seems to speak more freely that way. Have none of these guys pushed him when that was what he needed all along?

  "No. I shouldn't have said anything." Isaake took the attention back to him.

  "No, you shouldn't have." Ollie agreed and glared at Isaake. I snapped my fingers to bring those hazel eyes my way.

  "Me. I said take it out on me." I reminded him. Before I could continue, he turned sharply and was walking off. "Hey!" I yelled at his back jumping up.

  Raynor jumped to his feet beside me. An arm banded around my waist stopping my forward momentum before Raynor reached me. I followed the arm to find it attached to Nick.

  "Let him be for a minute." He tried to console me. "He has a bit of a temper." Raynor snorted at Nick's statement.

  "A bit." He muttered out and plopped back down onto the couch. "What's for lunch?"

  "It's fine," I assured Nick tapping his arm before removing it. "It's becoming our thing now. He gets a tantrum and I push him until it's done."

  Isaake coughed out and gave me a funny look. I ignored him and followed in the direction of the grumpy leader. They should really have a vote to replace his leadership position. Aren't leaders supposed to be levelheaded?

  "Why?" Nick's words confused me when I realized he was talking to me. I stopped and turned facing the men who looked confused at my behavior.

  "Why what?"

  "Why do you push him? Why keep fighting when he clearly doesn't want to be around anyone?" He gestured in the direction I was heading. Now, how to explain that?

  "Because when I push, he opens up in some way. I'd rather that, then he keeps closed off all the time." That wasn't the complete truth though, was it? "And because...because I don't care for unsolved arguments. I'd rather fight and scream then this." I shrugged before turning and continuing my trek ignoring the three others.

  I know it's weird and I would own that strangeness. But having a mother who hardly cared for me made me learn to do stupid things to get attention. When that still didn't work, it broke a piece of me. I'm terrified of having someone else in my life like her. I wasn't lying. I would rather scream at someone I cared about and have them scream back than let them walk away without knowing if they are coming back. It makes me feel like they are fighting for me still. Like I still matter enough for them to be mad at me. Yeah, it was weird, but it was me.

  Ollie was in the backyard beside the playground doing something that was making the earth rumble in front of the boulders. When I saw one of the boulders that were larger than me start shaking, I figured I should call out my presence before he threw the thing and it landed on me. That would be just my luck, travel in the past and die by a falling boulder. I wouldn't even make it in the history books.

  "Hey, dickhead! We were having a conversation before you decided to rudely walk off." I pointed out like I was the smart one in this situation. Pretty sure we were both idiots though. At least the rumbling stopped at the sound of my voice.

  He glared at me when I stepped right in front of him. I glared back. Then I let out a sigh. I didn't need to be rude right now.

  "You're right and I'm sorry," I admitted. His glare melted off slowly, but he still didn't speak. "I should have come to you to ask. The others told me it was your story."

  "It sounded like Isaake was telling it just fine." His anger came back. I shook my head.

  "No, I was guessing, and he was correcting me. But we shouldn't have been talking about it behind your back. Isaake admitted to me that he lost someone, and I put two and two together that you both lost the same person." I was hoping he would clarify on that but he didn't. He did start to understand though.

  "So, Isaake was talking from his point of view."

  "Of a sort." I didn't clarify. "Look, I can't understand what it is that's going on." He tensed up. "But whatever it is, it won't go away because you're avoiding it."

  "Why do you keep doing that?" He rubbed his face and sat down in the dirt looking weary.

  "Doing what?" I joined him in the sand. I stayed dirty in this era it seemed. Maybe Raynor would let me bathe here if I asked.

  "Offering up advice and trying to fix things. With me, with Isaake apparently. Why do you keep caring about problems that have nothing to do with you?" He sounded so confused and I wasn't sure if it was because he hadn't had a friend try to help or because I really was crazy for inserting myself into their lives like I kept managing to do.

  "That's what friends do," I replied cheerfully. Liar. How would I know? The only person who I've gotte
n close to is Abby and I bombard myself in her life because she's my sister and I feel it's my right. Jeremy wasn't someone I tried to work on things with. Maybe I would have realized he was gay sooner if I had.

  It had to be the absence of Abby and the upheaval of everything I was familiar with that had me reaching out to these four strangers the way I had. I was clinging because I needed a connection and somewhere along the way I decided these four were going to be my anchors.

  Ollie's look clearly stated he thought I was a bit mental. Fair enough. He had four friends. If what I was doing wasn't normal, he would know better than me. And yet, it was working wasn't it? We were talking.

  "So, why don't you go to the tribe?" He tensed up again. This was clearly a hard subject. "You are going to tell me eventually. You know it, I know it. I'm nothing if not relentless." I pointed out.

  "Annoying." He corrected. I shrugged.

  "Potato, Potahto."

  "What does...never mind." He waved off the strange saying. We sat in silence as he watched me trace patterns into the sand. I wasn't sure he was going to answer. I was getting ready to accept it as something I wasn't going to learn right now when he spoke up. "Weetamoo was killed when I was thirteen. I haven't been to her village since. Aska kept inserting herself into our lives and that's why we keep contact with her."

  "That, and the kidnapping." I pointed out helpfully.

  "Please stop calling it that. We started relocating the children three years ago. We had to back off with all the fighting. We only started feeling safe to try again four months ago. Eliza was the third since then."

  It was easier for him to talk about the "relocating". He sounded proud of what they were doing. He should be, if he was really saving them. His use of relocating made me think more of him as Child Protective Services. That oddly made the situation easier to accept.

  "So, if you are able to be around Aska then why not go to her tribe?" I tried to steer the situation back on track.

  "Because of her father." He sounded strained.

  "Her father is angry at you?" I guessed.